Hey all! So, we're nearing the end of this story. Just a few more chapters to go. Hope you're ready for this...

Chapter 14:

Deep down, she already knew what her choice was. She had always known. She had never really believed in destiny, but maybe, just maybe, it did exist. She didn't really know which path was the right one yet, but she knew it was there. The answers were within herself, they were just hidden. Hidden underneath everything that told her she didn't want to do this yet. She didn't want to choose, not because she didn't know what to do, because no matter what she chose, she would be leaving something behind.

It was sort of like heading off to college, knowing you'll be on your own for the first time. When you drive off in your car and look out the window at the town where you spent your whole life up until that point, all you can think about is your excitement at finally breaking free from it, finally starting your own life, away from the confinements of home. You're only looking forward to where you're heading. But, ironically, once you arrive, all you can think about is what you left behind.

She knew that whatever she chose, there would always be times when she would regret it. But running away from all of it wouldn't solve anything. She had to decide. It wouldn't be easy, but there was no escaping it. It was one of those things in life that, no matter how hard you try to push it away and pretend it doesn't exist, it always rises back up, continuously, without fail. It can't go unresolved.

The decision was hers and no one else's. In her life, she'd made a lot of mistakes. She had fallen again and again. But she had always picked herself back up and kept going. She believed enough in herself and that belief gave her the strength to move forward. But she knew that this time, there could be no mistakes. If she made the wrong decision, she wouldn't be able to pick herself back up.

And a part of her was scared at that prospect. But the other part of her was telling her that it was OK. That she didn't need to be afraid. She couldn't rush it, but the answer would come to her. And once it did, she would finally be free. She couldn't just forget about all that had happened and all she had done, but she would know that she had done the right thing for herself. And that in itself was a relief.

She looked now at Nathan, sitting with her on the couch, arms, as always, around her and smiled. She knew that maybe this relationship would only hurt them in the end. But she also knew that maybe it was worth it. No, not maybe, that it was worth it. She had done the right thing and it felt damn good. She could only hope that she would be able to do the right thing again.

Lifting her head off his shoulder, she kissed his cheek, then settled back into his arms. He smiled and kissed the top of her head. He knew that everything would be OK. It had to be. Somehow, he had to convince Haley that he was the right choice. He didn't understand how she couldn't see it now, but he knew he had to be patient. It would take her some time and he needed to give her just that. Time to work it out for herself. If they were meant to be, she would choose him.

He wasn't quite sure what would happen if she chose Jack. Right now, he really didn't want to think about it. But some things are unavoidable. If she went back to New York, she would be slipping from his grasp. In a way, she already was. Metaphorically, he could almost feel her hand slipping from his. He could barely hold on any longer. But he had to. He wouldn't let go of her again.

He kept telling himself that he was doing this for her. That she needed him, that she would be better off with him, that Jack would only hurt her more in the end. But he knew that was only partly true. He loved her and wanted to keep her safe, but at the same time, he was doing this for him.

Haley had been everything to him for a long time. He supposed she always had been. And it had taken him so long to get to this point, the point where she trusted him enough to be with him, where they could be happy together. He wouldn't have done all that he had to get here if he didn't think it was worth it. But it would all be for nothing if he lost her now. That was something he was completely unwilling to do.

Normally, he wouldn't consider himself very selfish, but he needed her. He needed her more than he needed air. She was his air. She was his everything. Without her, he would surely die. So, he vowed never to let her go again. Unless he thought it absolutely necessary, or unless for her benefit, he would never let her go. He silently promised her this as well as himself.

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It was a beautiful Sunday at 8:00 and, surprisingly, Haley had been awake for quite some time.

Her time in New York had taught her not to believe in God, that there was no God. If she couldn't rely on anyone, why should she rely on someone she couldn't even see? How did she even know He existed? But now, just being in Nathan's arms, being with him, she was beginning to doubt that belief.

Surely, there had to be some higher power that had given her this chance with him. And if there were no God, then how would she ever find the answers to all her questions? It was simple really, she couldn't see God physically, but she felt His presence. He was there with her always, He was with her no matter what she did. And He would help her through this. Just as He had always done.

It had been awhile since she had done anything that could even be considered remotely religious, but now, she felt that she needed some reassurance, some confirmation that there would always be someone there with her, even as others she cared for might die around her. So, she had decided that she would go to church today. She felt a strong urge to be inside a sanctuary. There, she was sure, she would find peace.

So, not wanting to disturb Nathan's rest, but feeling that she needed him there with her today, she slowly made her way back to the bedroom and eased herself onto the bed and back in his arms, in the same position as before. For a moment, she allowed herself to stare lovingly at his handsome features. He was all she could ever ask for and more.
She saw the content smile on his lips and was happy knowing that she had put it there. She smiled softly and leaned onto him, gently kissing his lips. He stirred slightly, but didn't open his eyes. She kissed him harder, maneuvering herself so that she was completely on top of him. His eyes remained close, but his hands moved to her back as he slowly started to respond.

Smiling against his mouth, she traced it with her tongue. His hands rubbed the smooth skin of her back under her shirt. Teasingly, she pulled away and jumped off the bed. He groaned. "Haley."

She grinned. "Get your lazy ass up. We've got somewhere to be."

"Really?" he smirked, grabbing her arms and bringing her to straddle his lap. Before he could touch his lips back to hers, she leaned slightly away. "Haley!" he whined.

"Aw, I'm sorry baby, but we're going to church today," she smirked in return.

He groaned. "Do we have to?"

She pouted, "Please?"

He looked away, knowing his iron will would crumble under her puppy dog eyes and sweet little pout

She laid her hands on his face and brought it back around to face her, kissing him deeply. Pulling away so her lips hovered barely an inch from his, she whispered, "Please."

He didn't answer, instead brought her lips back to his, laying them down on the bed so he was positioned on top of her. His hands slowly removed her tank top, eyes drinking in her beauty. She stared up at him innocently with doe like eyes. He groaned. "Fine."

She grinned, pushing herself up to kiss him again. She ran her hands over his well sculpted abs, then around and up his back to tangle in his hair.

His hands ran over her hips, pulling her shorts down. Pulling them away from her ankles, he brought her legs around his waist and brought her mouth back to his, hands traveling to her breasts. She moaned as he massaged them lovingly, breaking their kiss to love them with his mouth. ""I love you,"" she whispered.

He didn't answer, instead laid on top of her and kissed her passionately.

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Two hours later, Nathan and Haley walked hand in hand into the sanctuary, both smiling happily. They took a seat in one of the middle pews, glad for others' ignorance in that they were hardly noticed. They hadn't wanted to make a scene and were glad they had done just the opposite. As others filled in the cushioned benches around them, Haley took in her surroundings, finding the way the light streamed in through the stained glass windows, captured and reflected by each small piece of colored glass, mesmerizing.

As the service began, she continued to concentrate on the windows, trying to decipher what each one meant. In a way, it held some semblance to the predicament she now found herself in. She just couldn't seem to find the answers.

She mechanically went through the motions of singing hymns and any other action she felt she should take part in, but for the most part, was lost in her own world. It wasn't until the sermon began that she was roused from her thoughts.

The minister cleared his throat and began with a Scripture reading, one which Haley was completely uninterested in. But as he began to go more in depth, she found herself riveted.

"We all seem to believe that God is an almighty being only serving the purpose of catering to every whim. Many sitting in this congregation now are among those people. But what we need to realize is that this assumption that He is here to give us everything we may want is very incorrect. Those who think He is are sadly mistaken. God is an is an almighty being and we should always have faith in what happens in our life because He knows where He's leading us to. He isn't here to give us everything we want, but He will give us what we need. He alone can give us that. We are here to serve Him, not Him us and so long as we do this, He will always protect us. During our lifetime, each one of us will encounter difficult situations, ones where it will seem nearly impossible to believe God is with us. But we have to know that He is there and He will pick us up should we fall. No matter the circumstances, we will make it through. But only should we choose to accept his help. Only He, this powerful being, this creator of all we know, can give us the answers to our questions and to our prayers……"

After that, Haley tuned him out. She had heard all she needed to.

Now, her attention was focused once again on the stained glass windows. They were beautiful, perfect in every way, very much like the life she had once dreamed of. But every dream must at some point be shattered and hers had long since dissipated. It wasn't that she didn't believe those types of lives existed. She was fairly positive they did for some ignorant, naïïve people. But it didn't exist for her.

Grown from a young, innocent girl into a worldly, well seasoned woman, she knew all too well what belief in perfection could inflict on a person. So, in a way, these beautiful works of art represented everything she would never have. But she was beginning to understand that you can't drown yourself in regret or in the past. It was time for her to move on with her life; to look forward to the future; to live in the present.

Here, in this quaint sanctuary with its small, wooden pews and ancient organ, she had found what we all search for, but what many of us never find : inner peace. She felt a calmness such as she had never felt before overtake her and she knew she could make it. Turmoil surrounded her, but within herself, she found refuge. There was no raging conflict in her. The was only peace and harmony. Now, she just had to use it.

She was in a place where she had thought she would never be again: happy and well on her way to finding herself, perhaps someone different, or perhaps who she had known she was all along. But either way, she could feel herself growing ever closer to finding the answer and making her decision. It was only a matter of time now. And time was something she knew she was running out of.

Thanks again so much for all the reviews. They were amazing. Keep em coming and I'll update soon.