Isn't he dead yet?! - by Kloudy Reignfall
Summary: James and Sirius are reunited at the gates of Heaven, but it's not quite like old times yet. They begin to wonder if Remus is ever going to hurry up and die.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Damn you if you thought I did.
Warnings: Slight (for now) slash implications.
OMG this is the shortest thing I've ever written. Haha! Sorry, this is just a teaser chapter! I'll continue it if I get some reviews, but it's basically just something to occupy my spare spare spare time. It was going to be longer, like a proper chapter, but what can I say? I got distracted!
The Beginning of Forever
Ooh, this ground is so squishy. It's like laying on clouds. Sigh So comfortable. Mm. And then Sirius opened his eyes. Holy Fuck! It is clouds! God Damn!
"Excuse me, sir, but could you please refrain from using the Lord's name in vain?"
A white-robed figure had appeared behind Sirius. He'd nearly jumped out of his skin. "Oh my God! 1. Who are you? 2. What are we standing on? 3. Where am I? 4. When did you get there? 5. Why are you dressed like that? And to finish off the list of questions, 6. How did you hear me?"
The white-clad man looked unblinkingly at Sirius, who was standing there, mouth wide open. Then he began to answer his questions. "1. I am the Gatekeeper. My name is Gabriel. 2. We are standing on clouds. 3. You are at the gate of Heaven. 4. I have always been here, you just didn't notice me before. 5. Everyone wears robes in Heaven. And 6. I can read your mind, that's how I heard you."
Holy Fucking Oh My God! Sirius thought.
"You know, I can still hear you," Gabriel said nonchalantly.
"Man this is gonna be fucking Hell!" Sirius yelled, as the gatekeeper scowled.
"Sir, would you please keep your voice down, and please not mention "You-Know-Where"."
Sirius, the smart-ass he was, quoted Dumbledore. "Fear of a name only increases fear of a thing itself!"
Gabriel rolled his eyes and approached Sirius, who back away. "Would you please cooperate, sir? I need you to change into these robes if you are to be admitted through the gates."
"Oh, Hell no!" Sirius exclaimed vehemently. "I refuse to be part of your toga party of cult or whatever you have goin' on up here!"
Sadly, Gabriel shook his head. "You leave me no choice." And with that he pounced.
The two were engulfed in one of those cartoon dust balls, struggling with each other. Occasionally, you could see a random arm or leg stick out, or hear Sirius's cries of "Rape! Help me!" or "Hey, don't touch me there!"
Despite Sirius's pleas for help and violent struggling, the fight was over within moments. And from the cartoon dust ball he came, scowling very obviously at his clothing. He was just about to pick another fight with Gabriel, but he heard a noise from beyond the golden gates.
"Whoo! Sexy! Robes are definitely you, Paddy!"
Sirius turned to see who could be giving the sarcastic catcalls, and found, to his great surprise, someone he had been missing for the past fourteen years.
"PRONGS!!!!"
The End of the Beginning
Heh, sorry it was so short and crappy, but hey I'm not forcing it on anyone. Anyway, HP isn't my main fandom, so you can't expect any great things from me. I like HP and all, but I figure I'll leave most of the good writing to my friend, The It. (Looky Sage I'm advertising for you!)
Speaking of advertising, if you really love me at all, you'll read my other stories. (They're anime, but hey! I like 'em!)
