Hey guys. Thank you so much for all the new and incredible feedback. It is very much appreciated. And very encouraging. Btw, I know you won't see this for a few weeks, but you're welcome othgurl7. You deserve it for all the great feedback! And I remember sometimes begging people to update because I had to leave and they wouldn't and I'd be so upset. lol. I'm glad I made you so happy. Anyway, here's the next part, guys. Just an epilogue to go after this. tear But like I said, there will be a sequel, so it's not really over yet, right? That said, I'm sure you guys want to read more, so enjoy. Epilogue will be up later today or tomorrow.

P.S. I know it's not much talking in this one, but I figured we needed to get inside Haley's mind a little to understand the turmoil there. There'll more interaction between all characters in the epilogue. :)

Chapter 16:

It was a beginning and it was an end.

A beginning in the sense that anything she chose would lead her to something new.

An end in the sense that anything she chose would close a door. Whether it would be the door to who Nathan was still showing her she could be or the door to her recent past was still undecided.

Her whole future lay before her, unmarred by everything she'd ever dreamed she could be, everything she ever had been. She could do whatever she wanted with it. And yet, it was still unclear. It was the rest of her life, handed to her as easily as anything she'd ever done, yet she didn't want it. We always get what we don't want. Or what we think we don't want. And ironically, 99 of the time, it turns out to be exactly what we need. But, whether this decision was something she needed or not, she knew the rest of her life depended on it.

Her dreams, her goals, her life was right in front of her. All she had to do was grasp it. But contrary to the simplicity all of this seems to hold, it was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do. To say goodbye to a whole piece of her life and hello to a new world of possibilities. But which would be which?

She knew that no matter what the outcome of all this would be, her whole life, her entire existence would be based upon it. There would always be times she would reconsider it; second guess it. It would always resurface, no matter how many times she tried to sweep it under the rug with all the other things she'd forgotten, bury it beneath millions of other memories, it would always come back to haunt her.

She wished she could simply throw all caution to the wind and do what her heart was telling her to, what it ached for her to do. But she knew it would only return to smother what little happiness she had left if she was so reckless with the biggest decision she would ever make. For most kids, this would be college. For Haley, it wasn't about academics, it wasn't about potential, it was about who she was. Or rather who she would be. For the rest of her life.

She knew that, depending on what she picked, her life could surpass even her wildest dreams. But if she chose wrong, it could sink to a level so far down, she couldn't possibly fathom it. And the thought terrified her, almost to the point where breathing was something she had to remind herself to do. She was suffocating and she only saw one way out.

Sick and tired of this world

There's no more air

Trippin over myself; going nowhere

Waiting, suffocating, no direction

I took a dive and

As she climbed into the car next to Nathan, her mind raced, flooding with memories of them together.

Parent Day. Kindergarten. A much younger Haley sat in a corner crying, neither of her parents in sight. They had been "unable to make it." Somehow, even as a young boy, Nathan had understood not to ask her what was wrong. Instead, he simply approached her and took her hand, leading her to where his family stood. After that, they were inseparable.

It was things like these she loved to remember, the kind of memories that make you forget, even if only for a few seconds, the predicament you're in. She loved to remember her and Nathan. Their lives had always been woven together in some way, whether big or small. They knew that through friendship, through love, through any type of relationship there ever was, they would stay together. Even if only bound to hate each other, they were destined to remember and never forget.

They would always hold on to the memories they'd shared together here in Tree Hill. It was what brought them together once. And now, it had done it again. But was it strong enough to keep them that way? Honestly, Haley thought she already knew the answer to that. But rather than face it, she chose to simply take a few seconds and remember.

When they were 9 and every time Haley was sad, Nathan would give her a hug and a kiss on her forehead. It became a habit. One which was still used today, though their relationship had evolved so much that the time when they were 9 years old was a time so long ago it seemed a century away.

When they were 13 and Nathan walked to her house every morning at 4:00 to crawl in bed next to her. They would cuddle together and fall back asleep for a few hours. It only showed how close they were, how close they would always be.

As a young child, she had been too blind to see it. But now she did. She saw how much Nathan meant to her. She saw how much he would always mean to her. And she knew that even if she did choose Jack, her heart would always be with him.

On the way down

I saw you and you saved me from myself

And I won't forget the way you loved me

And on the way down

I almost fell right through

But I held onto you

And then came the more recent memories. The most painful, yet oddly the most memorable things.

Moving back to Tree Hill to find him still waiting for her. Waiting. She sighed. He was good at that. He was always so patient with her. Always willing to fight for her love. Or wait for it as the case may be. She knew he would wait until the end of time for her if he had to.

She remembered trying so hard to keep him away. But it hadn't worked. She remembered that night at the Rivercourt with him. How, even after she told him they could never be friends, he came to her and did everything he could to change her mind. Another thing she loved about him. She used to tease him about it. His stubbornness. But without it, they wouldn't be here now. And for once, she was glad here was where they were. For, even if she did go back to New York, these memories, this place would follow her there. And any time she needed something to give her hope, the memories of Tree Hill would be ready and waiting to remind her of just how good it could be. To remind her of something she'd lost or forgotten. Something she didn't realize the value of until she had to say goodbye to it.

She remembered how he refused to give up on her; how he had done all he could to show her how much he loved her and more. He always focused all his attention on her. She hated to think what it would do to him if she chose New York. But she wouldn't think about that right now. Now…… now, she would just remember.

Been wondering why it's only me

Have you always been inside waiting to breathe

It's alright, sunlight on my face

I wake up and yet, I'm alive cause

She remembered the moment their new relationship had started. She remembered how scared she had been, but looking back now, it was well worth it. She remembered all the times he'd kissed her lovingly; every time he'd held her when she was crying. She realized that if it weren't for his perseverance, they wouldn't be here right now. Anyone else would have given up long ago. But he loved her too damn much. And she knew that kind of love was hard to come by; it was nearly impossible. And she was so thankful she'd found it with Nathan.

She couldn't imagine a life without him. A life where there were no loving kisses, no one to hold her, no one to love her. Without him, she would never have any of that again. The thought caused a bittersweet sensation, one that left her longing to lie in his embrace forever, safe and protected by his warmth and the warmth of his love. And she would never have to choose or deal with the repercussions of it. There would only be him and her. And they would never fight.

But that kind of place is far off; something we can only dream exists. In reality, there is no such place, but in our hearts, in our dreams, there is. That is why every night, it seeps into our dreams, some element of it. Because we know when we wake up, it will be gone, vanished until the next time the sun sets and we can close our eyes again to the world and let our dreams lift us to impossible heights.

She wished such a place existed. But it didn't.

The car stopped and she jolted out of her reverie. They were at the docks.

On the way down

I saw you, and you saved me from myself

And I won't forget the way you loved me

And on the way down

I almost fell right through

But I held onto you

Stepping out of the car with him, they walked to the bench right next to the water and sat there, holding each other. She stared out at the horizon, wondering how her life had ever gotten to this point. A few years ago, her problems consisted of crushes not liking her back, getting a bad grade on a test, being grounded and not allowed to do something with Lucas and Nathan. Now, they were much larger. And she didn't know how to solve them.

Gaze shifting to the water not far off, she watched it lap against the docks. It was calm and peaceful now as she watched it creep back and forth over the sandy bottom. She had run out of memories, so she sat in Nathan's embrace, relishing his warmth for quite possibly the last time, depending on what she chose. Her head told her that Jack was the safest choice. But her heart told her she didn't really care. So, which one to listen to?

She felt Nathan's body move away from hers and looked to see him standing up. He grabbed her hand and kissed it, giving her a reassuring smile. "I'm just gonna give you some time to think. See you later." He kissed her deeply, then whispered, "I love you," and was gone.

And that's when it hit her. Nathan could promise her over and over that he would never leave her, but it wouldn't change the fact that there would always be situations in which he could potentially break his promise. Because these days, promises are so easily broken. They are more often broken then kept.

She had thought she was finally coming closer to making a decision, but her eyes turned troubled again as she considered this new factor. Maybe it was true, but he still loved her. And she loved him. So, why was this so hard?

I was so afraid of going under

But now, the weight of the world

Feels like nothing, nothing

(down, down, down)

You're all I wanted

(down, down, down)

You're all I needed

(down, down, down)

You're all I wanted

You're all I needed

Nathan had held her up for so long. She had depended on him to make things better, to make them OK. Now, maybe it was finally time for her to learn to float on her own.

And I won't forget the way you loved me

All that I wanted, all that I needed and now

Nathan had been right all along. The answers had always been there, unseen, but real. She just had to find them. And she had. After months of torturing angst, it was finally over. She knew which choice was the right one. Maybe it would make her happy in the years to come and maybe it wouldn't. But it was right. And she finally knew that.

On the way down

I saw you, and you saved me from myself

And I won't forget the way you loved me

And on the way down

I almost fell right through

But I held onto you