Wahay! Next chapter, and I'm still in a pretty good mood.
BloodyShadows: I know, it's mean on Rei, and it'll be even meaner by the end of the chapter!
animeobsession: Like I said in that email, I'm having immense problems finding that fic...could you put a link to it on your bio? That might work...
lil-inu: Hee, thank'ee. And if you review this chapter, could you give me the details for that writing challenge?
Delores L: Ay, I can sympathise! I don't usually get travel sick but buses make me feel awful...one of my friends is actually scared of buses, but that's another thing -entirely-! Also, my mother's just as bad with packing ('Yes dear, you do need eighty-nine pairs of socks even though you're only going for three days!").
wingedsoldier: You think that's cruel? That was tame compared to this chapter, and even tamer compared to the other fic I'm writing at the moment! Kidnapping and a mad fan, anyone?
Endoh Chiaki: Hee, the better the mood the better the angst!
PandaPjays: The cute stuff is at the END. I don't ever give the characters a happy ending unless they've suffered enough to deserve one! And Rei and Kai have a heck of a lot of suffering to do before I'm done with them!
Hannah: Geoff is something of a walking waste-bin, he would enjoy anything you throw at him! Thank you for the apple, it was very tasty! And Rei was angry and looking for someone to understand him, s'all.
Kiko cat: Feel sorry for both of them. You will by the end of this chapter!
Skimmie: Howdy! I'm glad you like this one too!
Ellen: They're young, they're in love, and Rei's an eejit…speaking from experience, even if you love someone you can cheat on them (I have divorced parents; I'm well up on that one…).
"Hello?" Kai gave a very convincing 'uncontrollable' cough down the phone. "I-" Cough, cough, cough. "I've got-ah-achoo!" More coughing coupled with the sneezing. "I've got a cold-" More coughing.
"Mr. Hiwatari, isn't it? Okay, I'll mark you down as ill."
"Ah-achoo! Th-thank you..."
Kai put the phone down and flung it away from him, collapsing onto his bed and bursting into a fresh bout of tears. He'd been crying just about non-stop since he'd seen Rei in the library, so he supposed his thick voice would make his 'cold' sound all the more convincing. He knew it was irresponsible to take another day off work, but he just didn't think he could face little kids. Not then. He curled up on his side, snivelling, reaching for the box of tissues by his bed and blowing his nose, hurling the used tissue towards the mound of tissues that had once been his waste-paper basket.
He'd tried taking his mind off it. He'd tried marking books, watching TV, reading, sleeping, but no. He couldn't do any of them. He'd dozed a few times but his mind was overdriving him on pain and he found himself unable to settle, short fitful dreams of Rei with that other man invading his head. He banged his head off the bedside table, trying to shock himself into getting a grip, but it didn't work. It was like an ache, somewhere deep inside his chest, and if he thought about it hard for too long, he found it almost hard to breathe.
Rei...Rei had slept with someone else. His Rei, his beautiful, amazing Rei, who he'd broken laws to be with, who he'd been with less than a year, who he loved and needed...Rei had left him. Rei had gone to bed willingly with someone else. Kai choked out another sob, slamming a fist into his pillow. It wasn't fair...he felt so used...
"Rei?" Rei looked up at his trainer with an expressionless face. "Are you alright?"
"No."
"Oh." Mick laid a hand on his shoulder, looking concerned, leaning over Rei protectively. Rei leant against his nicknamed 'big brother' and started to cry. "Mick...I-I...me and Kai..."
"Had an argument?"
"N-No! Worse than that! We-We're not together anymore!"
"What happened? Did he do something bad to you?" Rei started to howl with tears, burying his face in Mick's collar.
"No, it was me! I cheated on him, Mick! I kissed someone else, and he got angry, but when he didn't let me explain why I got angry as well and I...I... I've ruined everything!"
"Rei...you...went with someone else?"
"Yes! I know I'm a stupid slut but I was angry! And I wanted to be near someone! He locked me out, so I-I just... God, Mick, I've screwed everything up! He said he doesn't ever want to see me again! I don't know how I'm going to live without him!"
"Rei...I...I have to say that I'd want the same thing, in his position. If I found out Mary was cheating on me..."
"But you've been married for five years!"
Mick let go of Rei and started to walk away. Rei sniffed and wiped his eyes. "So you don't want to see me again either? Great. Just great. I hope you're happy when I go and overdose on smack!" Rei spat, turning and storming away. Bad enough to have a ruined life, but a ruined life with your best friend walking away from you? It was just too much...
For a second, Rei actually considered the possibility of suicide, then realised that he wasn't brave enough to do it anyway. He stormed home, where he -had- been staying less and less, greeted his mother and grandmother politely, and disappeared up to his bedroom, to cry into his pillow. There was a huge feeling of guilt sitting somewhere on his chest, making him feel as if his every move was constricted by a big, shameful wall of self-reproach. He felt as if his life was ruined, unsalvageable, over, but the worst thing was that he'd done it himself. No-one had made him kiss Andy, and although it was out of helpfulness, that was where the whole thing had started...
He almost wanted to blame Andy, but he knew that was childish. Still...he felt like being childish. Eight months out of secondary school, just turned seventeen, living with a twenty-year-old, cheating on the twenty year old... Sobbing, he collapsed into the bathroom, holding his breath as he crossed the landing in case anyone heard. He sat down, leaning against the side of the bath, reaching for his razor. His mother had bought him it a long time ago, but he'd never needed it...not before now, anyway...
He stared down at himself for a moment, feeling inhuman, like a monster or a beast, then he slid the razor gently, oh so gently over his upper arm. As he cut, he thought suddenly that people would be able to see it...but...too late... He dropped the razor and looked down at the short cut, about an inch of skin split open, clean edged and oozing blood. A drop dribbled down his arm and he smiled. Still bleeding. Still alive. Still human...
A week passed, and Kai had to drag himself back to school, unable to fake the cold scenario any longer. He taught his lessons woodenly, with none of his usual vigour. When the last class had left, he just sat there, feeling hollow. Hollow and empty. No Rei to look forward to. No easy chatter. No hugs, no kisses. No teasing, no tickling. No sex, although at that moment he was surprised to find that that wasn't the most important thing on his mind.
The door swung open and Tala walked in. Tala, a fellow teacher, had know about Rei and Kai from the beginning, had encouraged them, even. Kai had told him what had happened, and Tala had sympathised. But today...
"Kai, I think you should talk to him."
"Nn?"
"Rei. You should talk to him. Look at you, Kai, you're a wreck! You're depressed, you're getting thinner...are you eating? Anyway...I think you need to sort it out with him. From what you said, the last time you spoke was all a bit...you know...angry. Well, everything's a bit calmer now, and-""Tala, he slept with someone else! Willingly! Why the hell should I talk to him?" Kai stood up, furious, and Tala glared.
"Because you need him, Kai! If you think about it, you'll realise that you forgive him! You're just too stubborn! You know he's sorry, he's said he's sorry! Not so long ago, I taught him! He's not that kind of person, Kai, so just give him a chance!"
"SHUT UP! IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"
Kai stormed out, slamming the door behind him.
Rei sat in the bathroom again, fingers tracing lovingly over the numerous scars on his left arm. One long nail picked at one of the healing scabs, splitting it open again. Still bleeding. Still alive. Still human. His hand reached for the razor and he added another cut beneath, the blood flowing from one mixing with the blood coming from the cut below, trailing down his arm like scarlet ropes of guilt and self-hatred.
It was all his fault. He'd ruined everything. Everything was over. Over, and it was never coming back... He'd lost Kai. Kai was gone. Gone forever. It was all his fault. All his fault. He's gone to his parkour practice that morning, and Mick had asked him to leave the team. Of course, after their first disagreement, things had gotten worse, but Rei had never thought... But then, when was anything he ever thought or did right? Except for the bleeding. Bleeding was okay.
If you bled you were human. You were alive. Savagely, Rei dug his nails into the fresh cut, a tiny hiss of pain escaping his lips. Pain...pain was good...he deserved pain, for causing all this trouble, for ruining his own life, for betraying Kai like that...
Footsteps on the landing shocked Rei into rolling down his sleeve and putting his jacket back on. He flushed the toilet and walked out, smiling at his grandmother before running into his room and locking the door behind him.
Kai glared at Tala from across the staffroom, took his memos out of his in-tray, and left the room. Tala was walking beside him about ten seconds later, holding two mugs of coffee. Kai accepted the second mug wordlessly, and they kept walking. "Kai..." Tala said after a while. "It's been a fortnight since you split with him, and you're no better. You need him, Kai. He's probably feeling so guilty right now you wouldn't believe it. You should talk to him."
"I can't." Was Kai's abrupt answer.
"Why?"
"Because..." Kai bowed his head, a tear splashing into his coffee. "Because it would hurt me too much..."
Tala sighed and decided to leave the matter as it stood.
Rei leapt across another short roof gap, landing in a crouch and running on. He'd decided to go on a run, but since he'd been kicked off the team, he hadn't really practised. Even in the space of a week he was getting unfit. And the cuts on his arm hardly helped, but every time he had to use it, it hurt. and if it hurt, he was still alive.
It was about five o clock, and Rei stood for a second, looking out at all the people bustling around below him. He hopped down onto a fire escape and down to the third floor windowsill of an office-block. He jumped, aiming for the sill opposite, then his eyes caught a flash of purple in the crowd...could it be...
Crimson eyes glared up at him and he faltered, outstretched hands scrabbling at nothingness and then...falling...
Kai sighed, trudging home. He'd had another argument with Tala about Rei, and he wasn't exactly in the best of moods, having been forced to teach rebellious fourteen year olds for the last two lessons of the day. And then of course he'd had to stay back and mark books...
He looked up as he reached the bustling town centre square, and his eyes met someone else's. Someone who was halfway up a building...in mid-air... Was it...Rei? Even from a hundred odd meters away, Kai could see that Rei wasn't going to make it. He saw Rei's hands claw at mid air and just ran. It seemed right to. He sprinted as fast as he could, digging his phone out of his pocket and dialling 999 as Rei hit the floor, all along his left side. Kai shoulder barged through the already gathering crowd of people and came to a stop by Rei as the ambulance service came through.
"Portrack Square, a free-runner..." He panted. "Three storey building, unconscious, injuries down left side..." He knelt, pressing his fingers to Rei's neck and praying. "Pulse...and...blood...come quickly...please!" He rang off and knelt over Rei, stroking his hair, frantic with worry. A man came forward and started to move Rei, but Kai pushed him back, so hard that he almost fell over. "Get off him! You're not supposed to move people if they might have spinal damage you moron!" He snapped. The man came closer again and Kai almost boiled over with rage. All his worry was channelling into his anger, and it was all he could to not to launch himself at the stupid fat man and headbutt him.
"Touch him again and so help me God I will kill you!" He screamed. Any further comment was stopped by an ambulance careering up onto the pavement, spilling paramedics. They slipped Rei onto a stretcher and got him into the ambulance, and Kai got in with them.
"Excuse me sir, but who are you?"
"I'm his boyfriend." Replied Kai, without a shadow of hesitation.
Oooooh, I'm evil! I'm really really evil! But it gets better, I promise I promise I promise!
Anyway, please R&R!
