Whee! Second last chapter. And I have a history exam in the morning...sucks. And a physics one the day after. But after that, I only have one more exam and then I'm FREE! Until I get to college (if I get the grades I need, anyway). Thank you all so much for reviewing, it means a lot to me. I come on the PC and go to my account and my face just lights up when I see that I've got a new review! It's even better than that feeling you get when you counter-flame a yaoi hater and just absolutely hammer them (I don't know if anyone else actually uses that word, it's slang from where I come from for 'totally and utterly beaten'. But it's more fun to say 'HAH! Hammered you!"). And now, replies to all those squishy-licious reviews!
Little-Purple-Phoenix: Eek! Sorry, I didn't get your review until I'd posted the last chapter. And they will make up...eventually!
Glitter-Cat91: Sorry to you, too! I didn't realise I had any more reviews before I posted the last chapter, so some didn't get replied to!
Kiko cat: No, don't cry! The ending's going to be happy, but they have to be miserable enough to deserve it first!
skimmie: Here it is!
BloodyShadows: It -was- harsh, but hey. Makes for good angst.
Kanilla-Master of Fluff: Aww, you're so nice! While I was writing that cutting bit I was on the phone to Peachmelba, and she just kept saying 'you're EVIL, do you know that?'. Mind you, she says that about most of the things I write...
miriam906: That's the good bit. Neither of them are totally right, and neither of them are totally wrong. Means I get to torture them a little more!
Ellen: Lots of ouchies for Rei. Poor Rei. But he won't be quite so poor after this chapter, hopefully! Oh, and thank you for that hilarious review you left on 'The Wedding'! I sat there laughing at the utter hammeration of whoever 'Kezzy' is for ages!
wingedsoldier: You sound just like my best friend. She always says I'm evil, but I PROMISE that this chapter is better. Promise.
Platinum Rei: Hee, Rei. I torture him so, but it does get better for him soon!
animeobsession: Falling does suck. It would especially suck for me because I have a hideous fear of heights. I'll keep checking for the link, it doesn't seem to be up on the site yet...
Endoh Chiaki: I could have paralyzed him, but I thought that'd be too cruel. And smack is a drug. Well, it's a slang name for a drug, but yeah.
Just that good: Very, very stubborn. But after what happened to Rei, he's going to see the error of his ways. Hopefully.
lil-inu: Yup. I've found a trend, by the way...most of the long fics I write are horribly mean and angsty, and most of the one-shots are fluffy and nice. Ah well.
PandaPjays: Love the name! And thanks for being so complimentary about my writing!
And now, the second last chapter!
Kai walked in through the sliding doors of the hospital, walking a familiar path to the lift and getting inside, pressing the button for the fifth floor and waiting while the doors closed and the lift started to move, letting him believe that the lurching feeling in his stomach was due to the gravity, not to the paranoia he felt about hearing that Rei had gotten worse.
The lift door opened and Kai walked down the corridor, exactly eleven paces, and opened the door of Rei's room. The steady beeping of the monitors reached his ears and Kai sighed with relief. Rei was still alive. He walked inside to see the familiar sight of a tanned face standing out against the stark white pillows, and a fringe of ebony hair sweeping over the blankets and trailing over the side of the bed. A week. A week, and there had been no change.
Taking a deep, calming breath, he went over and sat in the worn leather chair beside the bed. "Rei..." He sniffed, feeling tears fill his eyes, like they had every other time. He reached out tentatively and brushed a few strands of hair away from Rei's face, stroking his cheek and then moving down to the bandages at the top of his arm. The blood. That was what it had been.
But why? Rei had obviously been cutting himself... Was that why he'd been so distant? Was it...something he, Kai, had done? Was it his fault, for driving Rei away? "Rei..." Kai sat there for a few minutes, crying quietly, all the time stroking Rei's cheek gently. "Can you hear me, Rei? Oh Rei...Rei...I'm so sorry...please wake up...please..."
He slid off the chair and onto his knees, leaning against the side of the bed, resting his head against Rei's thigh. "Rei..." Rei laid there, mouth covered by a plastic breathing mask, unmoving, unresponsive, and Kai felt the same old feelings of despair sink into him.
"Mr. Hiwatari?" Kai didn't turn, just sobbed a little more. "Mr. Hiwatari, Doctor March asked me to tell you that Mr. Kon isn't showing any signs of change..."
"Th-Thank you..." Kai listened to the footsteps die away and nuzzled his face further up next to Rei's blanketed body. "I'm sorry, Rei...I'm sorry...please just wake up, I'll do anything!" No reply. Kai stood up, wiping his eyes with the back of one hand. "I'll come back after work tomorrow, Rei...please...please...wake up. Don't leave me..." He leaned over, pressing a gentle kiss to Rei's forehead and then walking to the door. "Please..." He whispered, before leaving the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.
"Please...wake up. Don't leave me..."
Rei groaned and opened his eyes, the words still echoing in his ears. He hurt, all over his body, one ginormous stinging ache. "Kai?"
No. No Kai. No Kai...and all because... "Kai..." Tears filled his eyes, turning the surroundings he hadn't even noticed yet into a hazy mass of white. He'd driven Kai away...he'd hurt him so badly and now... "Kai..." As it had all those other times before, his right arm raised itself to his shoulder, and, finding it covered, moved along until he found a bit that wasn't, digging in his nails savagely and tearing the skin open, seeing a whirl of red in all the white.
"Mr. Kon!" Something dragged his hand away and he snatched it back, needing to see more blood, needing to know... The something held him firmly, and he turned to the haze of peach. "Where's Kai?"
"Kai?"
"Where is he? Where am I? Am I alive?"
Something dug into him somewhere and he was vaguely aware that it hurt, before the haze turned black, and there was nothing...
"Hello?" Kai answered the phone, glad of a break from marking the ninth of twenty essays.
"Mr. Hiwatari? It's about Mr. Kon."
"Oh God... Oh no...no he can't be...is he...is he d-dead?"
"Oh no! No, he's woken up."
"What?" Kai looked over at the clock, and found that it read 12:38. "Can I come and see him?"
"Not right now, no... He's had to be sedated. He woke up about half an hour ago and he started...injuring himself. He kept asking about you."
"He... He did?" Kai gave a short laugh of sheer relief and joy. "When he wakes up...tell him I'll be there as soon as I get off work... Actually...when do you open in the morning? When can I come and see him?"
"Um...eight o clock..."
"If he wakes up before then, tell him I'm coming...actually...no...don't."
"You wanna surprise him?"
"Yeah...oh God...thank you so much..." Kai rang off, then burst into tears of joy. He grabbed the phone again and phoned the school, getting the answer-phone.
"...Please leave your message after the tone."
"This is Kai, my boyfriend's in hospital and he's just woken up and I'm going to see him tomorrow, and I don't care if you fire me, because at the moment I'm just too damned happy to care. Sorry to whoever has to do my cover."
He threw the phone away and bounced on the sofa, laughing out loud. Who cared if his neighbours thought he was mad? Who cared? Rei was okay! Rei was... The person on the phone had said that Rei was hurting himself again...and he'd been talking about him... Yawning from sheer exhaustion, Kai started to doubt himself again. Maybe Rei wouldn't want to see him?
The thought still hovered in his mind as he found himself falling asleep.
"Am I alive?" Rei asked, persisting in his quest for an answer. The efficient, middle-aged nurse carried on straightening his bedclothes, and he writhed, moving them again. "Am I alive?" No reply. "Am I alive? Tell me! Where's Kai?"
"The doctor will see you in five minutes."
She left, and Rei sniffed. No-one would give him an answer... His nails had been cut, but they were still long enough to make a mark, to drag up a line of blood from inside of him. Blood. Still alive. He dug his nails in a little harder, whispering Kai's name out loud.
"Rei..." Gentle, warm hands took hold of his own, and he looked up, straight into crimson eyes. "Rei, don't do that...I'm sorry..." A pair of arms wrapped around him and he was pulled up to a sitting position, yelping as desperate hands dug into his injured limbs. "Oh Rei I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."
"Kai?"
"Oh God, yes...Rei I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...I didn't mean to make you hurt yourself, I didn't realise!"
"I didn't...it wasn't because of anything you did, Kai! It's because...I-I ruined everything...I made you hate me, I made Mick hate me, and I...I had to know...I needed to be sure...if I was alive..."
"Oh Rei... Rei, I'm sorry..." Rei burst into tears, crying against Kai's chest.
"Kai...Kai I'm sorry...I didn't...I-I'm sorry!"
"No, no, don't be sorry...don't be sorry, it doesn't matter..." Kai sobbed, nuzzling into Rei's hair. "I love you. Do you know that? And I didn't mean it when I said I never wanted to see you again. I didn't mean it at all..."
Choking with tears, Rei moved back, stretching up and kissing Kai passionately, desperately, clutching at him as if he were the only thing that existed, that mattered. Kai kissed him back, tightening his hold, needing to be sure that Rei was okay, that he was here, he was awake, he was alive-
"Rei, I love you..."
"Oh Kai...I-I don't deserve it..."
Kai shook his head, bringing up one hand to stroke Rei's cheek. "I'll decide who I want to love, and I love you!"
"Kai..."
"It doesn't matter! It stopped mattering a million years ago! Jesus, Rei, when I saw you falling I thought I was going to die of fright right there and then! I was wrong when I judged you so quickly! It...it just doesn't matter any more! I love you too much for anything else to be important!"
Rei sniffed and nuzzled his face into Kai's neck. "I love you too, Kai. D-Do you...Do you even want it?"
"Of course I want it..." Kai's voice dropped to a whisper, as he closed his eyes. "I want your love more than I want anything else in the world..."
There was the sound of the door opening, and then-
"Mr. Hiwatari, put him down! He shouldn't be sitting in his condition!" Kai turned, smiled weakly at the nurse, and lowered Rei back onto his pillows.
"Sorry. I...was just so happy to see him awake again." He twined his fingers with Rei's and squeezed them gently.
"I can see that, Mr. Hiwatari." Kai turned at the sound of a new voice, and found the head teacher of his school standing there. She looked stern, and Kai sighed. Oh well... "I guess I'm fired, then?"
"You can't fire him!" Rei was indignant. "He only came to see me!" He grabbed Kai's shoulder and yanked himself up, angry. "If you need him back at school that much, fine, drag him back with you, but don't fire him!"
The head teacher smiled softly. "Rei Kon. You've only just left school..." Rei sniffed.
"That isn't the issue."
"No, the issue is that you should be laying down!" Chided the nurse.
"Well I'm not going to lay down if she's going to fire Kai! It'll be her fault if I get worse and die!"
"Rei...lie down. I'm not going to fire Kai. I just came to see if you were both alright. The school's been proud of what you've done in the past few months, Rei. Now lie down, and get better soon. Kai, I expect you back at school by Monday at the latest!" And then she was gone. Rei laid back down slowly, groaning, and the nurse left as well, shaking her head and muttering about 'headstrong young 'uns'.
"Rei...thank you." Kai smiled down at Rei, then lay down beside him, folding his arms around the Chinese and sighing. "God, I love you."
"I love you too..."
Next Chapter: Is the last chapter, and is more of an epilogue than anything else. Kai and Rei go on holiday together, and that infamous word 'biatch' makes another appearance!
R&R please!
