Chapter 2

Broken in More Ways Then One

Two days later Harry was sinking into a deep depression. Thoughts of his parents, Cedric, Sirius, and all the other people that have died or will die in this war were overwhelming him. "I can't do this" Harry thought "Trelawney is a fraud. The one with the power to vanquish the dark lord indeed. I have no power to vanquish anything. Voldemort is way more powerful then I will ever be. He probably knows more dark arts then Dumbledore knows light magic."

Harry had just woken up from nightmares about dead people, all killed by Voldemort. All killed by magic. "Maybe my aunt and uncle are right. Maybe magic is a bad thing. Magic has caused so many to die. Sure the happiest times of my memory are from Hogwarts surrounded by magic, but every year something has always gone wrong. Either someone tried to kill me or someone else died because of me or both. Are the few moments of happiness worth the lives it cost?" Harry was disturbed from his thoughts by a taping at his window.

He went to get out of bed to let Hedwig in and fell flat on his face as the pins and needles coursed thru his body once more as it had every morning since his first day back. 'That's really getting old.' said Harry to no one in particular as he picked himself up off the floor. Still thinking about magic and how it has done him wrong he made his way to the window. Once the window was open Hedwig flew in and landed on the back of the chair that sat by his rather rickety desk. Harry got out an owl treat for her and noticed she had a letter. She was holding out one leg waiting calmly for him to untie it. 'How do you always know when someone wants to send me a letter girl?' asked Harry as he retrieved his letter and gave her a treat. It was not the first time she had come back with a letter after Harry had let her out to hunt at night. Hedwig just cocked her head and looked at Harry as if to say "Any owl worth its feathers knows when a letter is needed for its master" Harry just sighed gave her another owl treat and sat at the desk to see who wrote to him.

Harry Potter

Smallest Bedroom

Number 4 Privet Drive

Little Winging, Surrey

Harry sighed again as he read the green flowing script that marked this letter as being from Hogwarts.

Dear, Harry

After a few long talks and quite a bit of arm twisting, our Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge has agreed to suspend the reasonable restriction of under age magic for you. Since you often find yourself, thru no fault of your own, in a need to defend yourself we have come to the conclusion that it would be grave indeed if you were to be denied the use of your wand.

Please don't take this responsibility lightly. The Ministry will be watching you very closely for any reason to take this privilege away. Please keep in mind the statue of secrecy and do not use magic in front of Muggles.

There is another piece of news that might bring you some small bit of comfort. The death eaters that were captured in the Department of Mysteries were questioned under veritaserum. It was brought to light that Peter Pettigrew is in fact alive and was your parent's secret keeper. With this information out in the open the wizengamot felt that it was only right to clear his name. With Sirius's name cleared the Ministry will now acknowledge his last will and testament. The reading of said will, will be held at Gringotts Wizarding Bank on July 3rd 6 days from now. As a beneficiary you will be required to attend the reading. I will send a member of the order to escort you.

One last thing before I conclude this letter. I sincerely hope you will find it in your heart to forgive an old man for the mistake of forgetting what it was like to be young. You may still be young to my old eyes but you are no longer a child. I see that withholding information from those it concerns directly is far worse then telling them straight out. Although you will not be allowed into the order until you have finished school I will do my best to keep you informed of any and all information that directly relates to you. Once more I ask you to forgive an old mans mistakes and accept this small offer to make amends.

Sincerely Yours

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore

Headmaster

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Harry laughed a bitter humorless laugh after he read that letter. Allowed to do magic now huh? He didn't want anything to do with magic anymore. It had brought him too much pain. A beneficiary in Sirius's will huh? Why would he want anything from his godfather when it was his own stupidity that caused his death in the first place?

'That's it. No more. I'm done with magic' Harry said to himself as he tore up the letter and tossed it into the bin that sat next to his desk. "I can convert what's left in my Gringott's account to muggle money and live off that. I'll get a place of my own and live as a muggle as far from magic as I can get. Tomorrow I'll catch a cab to London get my money and leave all the pain and death behind me." With that thought he got a piece of parchment and quill out of his trunk and wrote a very short letter. Just as he was about to seal it Harry noticed his wand that was sitting on his desk where he had left it the night he got back from Kings Cross. With shaky hands he picked it up. He still loved his wand, it had got him out of some sticky spots, but he would not be needing it where he was going. It was just one more link to a world of magic that he no longer wanted to be a part of. With a resounding CRACK! He broke it in two. "No more" Harry thought again as he tucked the broken pieces of his wand into the parchment and sealed it.

Harry then turned to his owl whose head had snapped up at the sound of the wand breaking and was looking at him with the most sorrowful expression one could imagine on an owl. 'Hedwig old girl' he called to her. She flew out of her cage and onto his shoulder. One would think she was crying if an owl could do such a thing. 'I want to thank you Hedwig. I want to thank for being my friend. I am going to be leaving soon and you will be out of place in the muggle world. I will miss you terribly and I will never forget you.' said Harry as he stroked the feathers on her chest and left a few tears slip for the friends he was leaving behind. Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville, and Luna. All had gone to the DoM with him and all had got hurt in some way or another because of his foolishness. This was just another reason to get as far from them as possible, to Harry. No more people would get hurt because of him, All the Weasley's. The closest thing Harry had to a real loving family. They were all at risk as long as Harry was around. Sure they were at risk anyway with so many in the order but with Harry around they were but straight at the top of Voldemort's hit list just for being so close to him.

'Hedwig, girl, I need you to do one last thing for me. I need you to take this letter to Dumbledore. Then I want you to go to Hagrid and stay with him OK? He will take care of you. I love you Hedwig.' said Harry as he tied the letter to her leg. Hedwig put her head down and nipped his bottom lip softly as if to give him a kiss goodbye gave a soft mournful hoot and took off into the sky.

Harry spent the rest of the day burning all his old school things. Books, parchment, quills. In fact the only magical things that he did not burn were his father's invisibility cloak, his photo album Hagrid gave him and the mirror Sirius gave him. He just wanted something to remember them by. He even burned all Dudley's old cloths and his Firebolt.

His Firebolt, that caused him great pain as he watched it turn to ash. Grief, unlike he ever felt, took hold of him like a vice grip that wanted to squeeze the life out of him.

As Harry lay in bed that night he cried. He cried like he was never allowed to when he was growing up. Great sobs with tears larger then fat rain drop. The kind of cry that makes your pillow wet enough where you have to turn it over to find a dry spot.

Harry was so caught up in his sorrows that he didn't hear his bedroom door open. He didn't feel someone sit beside him on his bed. Just as his sobs died down and sleep started to over take him he felt someone put a light hand on his shoulder and heard a faint female whisper 'It's ok Harry, you will get thru this. I'll help you and we will get thru it together.' And with that Harry was out. Dreaming of pink haired angels. Dreams that he would not remember when he woke up the next morning.

Albus Dumbledore sat at his desk going over paper work and eating lemon drops as he seemed to do every night before he went to sleep. He was just finished reading a dreadfully boring report from the board of governors when a familiar white owl drooped a small roll of parchment on his desk and flew over to sit by Fawkes on his perch. 'What is this Hedwig? Has Harry sent a reply to my letter earlier today?' Albus asked as he picked up the parchment. Hedwig gave a hoot so saddened it startled the old headmaster and caused Fawkes to let out a mournful chirp and nuzzle Hedwig as if to say all would be well.

The headmaster let out a gasp as he unrolled the parchment. Only two words were written in a shaky scrawl. "I QUIT" and the two pieces of Harry's broken wand. 'Merlin what have I done?' Said Albus who at that moment was looking even older then he really was and that was saying something for someone who was over 150 years.

Just then there was a knock at his door. The headmaster looked up from the letter with dull eyes that held none of there normal sparkle. 'Enter' was all he said. Nymphadora Tonks walked into the headmaster's office.

'Ahhh Nymphadora, I take it your here to discuss the matter concerning young Mr. Potter?' Dumbledore asked when she stepped up to the desk.

This didn't surprise Tonks in the least. Albus Dumbledore always seemed to know what exactly was going on. 'Yes Albus, I was on my watch this evening when I noticed Harry in the back yard burning things in a mettle dust bin. I did not know what to make of it at the time, so I just watched. It wasn't until he put in the last item that I knew what all he was burning. His Firebolt, Albus, He burnt his Firebolt. I know Minerva gave it back to him on the last day of school. Now I'm not sure why he would burn his most prized possession but it appears that he burnt every magical thing he owned.'

'It is my fear Nymphadora that Harry is rebelling against magic. I fear that Harry is going to try and push away everything and everyone that is close to him. We must not let this happen; right now Harry is feeling love only causes pain. Pain for those that love him, and pain for him when those he loves get hurt. The bad times are starting to outweigh the good for him, and the only escape he sees at the moment is to disconnect himself from it in any and all ways possible.'

Tonks was shocked to say the least. 'We can't let that happen Albus. Harry means too much to me, to us, to the wizarding world. I went to his room to check on him before I came to and found him lying curled in a ball on his bed crying like a baby. He's not letting himself get past the grief of Sirius's death. I think it is all piling up on him. We have to help him Albus. He's not going to get thru this alone. He is having an emotional breakdown.'

'I understand Nymphadora. But as of right now I am at a loss as how to help young Harry' said Albus starting to get a small twinkle back into his eyes.

'Let me help him if I can Albus. I'm due for a vacation at work. I can stay with Harry all summer and help him thru his grief. I miss Sirius too so I can relate with him. At least let me try. Remus is in no shape to help him at the moment and was never good at helping himself. I can take him shopping in muggle London and Diagon Alley. He'll need all new cloths, new school things, new everything...' She had said this all very fast almost begging the old headmaster to let her be the one to watch over and try to help Harry.

'Very well Nymphadora, You may see if you can help him thru these tough times. I must ask you though if you do take him out shopping be very careful and get him to Ollivander's as soon as possible. It seems Harry is in the need of a new wand.'

At Tonks' quizzical look the headmaster held up the two broken pieces of Harry's wand. It seems that Harry is set on his leaving the wizarding world. Tonks' eyes widened and she put her hand over her mouth to stifle a gasp.

'You might want to be there when he wakes up Nymphadora. He might not be there long after that if your not. Send me word when he has calmed down or if you find yourself unable to help him and I will come visit. There are some things I need to discuss with him'

'Of course Albus.' Tonks said 'I will keep you informed as to how he is doing. Thank you for the chance to try and help him.'

With that Tonks made her way out of the office. After the door closed Albus looked at the two birds sitting on the perch. 'I believe you may return to your young wizard friend Hedwig. I do not believe he will be sending you away again.' Said the headmaster with eyes twinkling like mad. 'They will be good for each other.' Hedwig hooted her approval and took off out the window to return to her friend. Then Albus took out a piece of parchment and wrote a letter to Mr. Ollivander letting him know to expect a student in for a new wand within the next few days.

Tonks apparated back into Harry's bedroom with a soft pop, to find Harry still asleep. He looked peaceful with a small smile on his face as his eyes darted around behind his eyelids. Tonks sat on the edge of his bed and wandered what he was dreaming about as she softly ran her fingers thru his hair. She leaned against the headboard of the bed still watching his peaceful face and before she knew it she had drifted off to sleep herself.

When Tonks awake a few hours later she found herself staring right into bright emerald green eyes. The eyes held her gaze not letting her look away, not that she wanted to anyway. They were the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen.

'Wotcher, Harry. Sleep well?' Tonks asked when she had found her voice.

'What are you doing here, Tonks?' Harry was confused. Here was Tonks in his bed and he had no idea why. Not that he didn't like the fact that she was in his bed. He had been awake for 5 minutes before she had woken up. He had spent that time just looking at her sleeping face and had come to realize just what a beautiful woman she was. He would have moved from the bed by now but he knew if he had, he would have screamed because of the pins and needles that were sure to follow any movement for at lest 15 minutes after he woke up.

'I saw you burning your stuff last night Harry. I don't know exactly why you did it but I don't think you should be alone right now. You need someone to help you deal with all that's happened to you. After talking to Dumbledore last night I came here to help you.' said Tonks as she got up off the bed and moved over to the chair by the desk

'Dumbledore sent you huh? Figures he would send a minder to keep me under lock and key. I knew I should have waited till after I had already left before sending that letter.' Harry said bitterly 'I told him I quit. I gave him my broken wand. Can't the old fool take a hint? I'm done with magic, Tonks. I'm not going back. So you can just go back to good old Dumbledore and tell him you don't have to waste your time watching over the problem child.'

'Dumbledore didn't send me to keep up under lock and key Harry' Tonks snapped back 'I volunteered, I wanted to come help you Harry. It was my idea to come here and stay with you.'

Harry saw several emotions cross her face as she said this. Anger, sadness, and what looked like hurt. Was Tonks hurt that he thought she didn't want to come here on her own, he wondered. As he looked at her in thought she asked him another question.

'Why do you say you're done with magic Harry?' she asked softly. She didn't want to fight with Harry, fighting led to anger, and anger would just push him farther away.

'What good has it done for me but bring me and those around me pain and death? If Trelawney is to be believed I'm a dead man walking anyway. I don't want to die and I would rather live as long as I can even as a muggle till Voldemort finely finds me and kills me anyway.' Harry said quietly. He didn't want to argue with Tonks. He liked her and she didn't deserve to be yelled at.

'Magic didn't kill or hurt those people, Harry. Voldemort did. You know that as well as I do. If you think living as a muggle will save people from pain and death think again. Just watch the muggle news for 5 minutes. Guns and knives are just as painful and deadly as magic is. There are always people getting shot or stabbed or even worse in the muggle world even when there is no war going on. And what's this about Trelawney? Everyone in the wizarding world knows that Voldemort is after you but what does she have to do with it?'

'You mean you don't know about the prophecy?' Harry asked in disbelief. He was sure Dumbledore would have told the order what it said.

'You mean the one from DoM? I knew there was one but no one knows what was in it, and if they do no one is telling' said Tonks with interest.

'The prophecy was made to Dumbledore by Professor Trelawney before I was even born.' Harry told her. 'He showed it to me in his pensive when we got back from the DoM. Voldemort knows the first two lines of it, and its why he tried to kill me when I was a baby and still wants me dead to this day. He tricked me into going there that night because he wants to know what the rest of it says'

'So Dumbledore told you the prophecy? The whole thing?' Tonks asked

'Yeah' Harry said. He closed his eyes. He didn't like to think about it.

'That bad huh?' asked Tonks.

'Yeah' he said again still trying to block the thought of it out of his mind.

'Will you tell me what it is, Harry' asked Tonks as she looked at him with pleading eyes. "This is another thing that's driving him into depression" she thought to herself "Maybe I can help him if he will trust me."

'Are you mad, Tonks? If Voldemort found out you knew it you would be at risk. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you because of me.' Harry said almost at a shout. For some reason he didn't like the thought of Tonks getting hurt in anyway at all let alone for something he told her.

'Harry, I'm an Auror. I'm a member of the order, and I'm a Metamorphmagus. Hell I'm at the top of his list just for that. Someone that can take on any form they wish would be a high prize to Voldemort' To prove her point she changed into the spiting image a Cornelius Fudge and back.' And to be an Auror you have to know Occlumency and I pride myself on being just as good as Snape claims to be at that.'

At this Harry said 'Snape tried to teach me Occlumency and it didn't work. All he seemed to do was make it easier for Voldemort to get into my head.'

'Harry I can't stand the slimy git anymore then you can. Snape is the best potions master in England but he can't teach it. All he does is write the directions on the board and leave you to figure out everything else. Just because someone knows something does not give them the right to teach it. If you really want to learn I will teach you. I have some great books on the subject. But the point I am trying to make is Voldemort could not pry the prophecy out of my head if he tried. I also think that if you had someone to share it with, someone to talk about it with, it could help you deal with it.' Tonks said as she kept looking into the softly glowing green eyes that seemed to hold her captive. 'I want to be the one to help you Harry, but for me to be able to help, you have to trust me. Will you trust me Harry?'

Harry wanted to trust her. He wanted to trust someone. Sure he could trust Ron and Hermione but they were not here right now. This was something you just can't put in a letter, and if he kept it to himself all summer he would surly go mad. Besides if he told Ron or Hermione that would put them in more danger and that was what he was trying to avoid. As Harry looked into her eyes, they were sky blue today. He saw that he could trust her, and that he needed her to trust him.

'The one with power to vanquish the dark lord approaches.

Born to those who have thrice defied him

Born as the seventh months dies

And the dark lord shall mark him as his equal

But he shall have power the dark lord knows not

And either must die at the hand of the other

For neither can live while the other survives

The one with the power to vanquish the dark lord will be born as the seventh month dies'

There he said it. He looked to Tonks to see her reaction. She was staring at him blankly. Then she started to giggle. Then that giggle turned to an outright laugh. Harry was shocked. She was laughing at him. She had to be mad. He was either going to be murdered or become a murderer. And the way he saw it there was no way he would be able to defeat Voldemort.

'Tonks,' Harry said. He was getting angry now 'You wanted me to trust you and you're laughing at me?'

'Oh, Harry!' said Tonks who immediately stopped laughing. 'I wasn't laughing at you. It's just pointless, isn't it? I could have told you that. Well all except the 'Power the dark lord knows not' The way he is always after you it was bound to come down to you and him.'

'Tonks, I am either going to be murdered by him or become a murderer. I can't beat him; I don't have the knowledge or power. He's 50 years older then me how can I expect to beat him? I'm a dead man, Tonks. Hell I don't even have a wand now.' said Harry