AUTHOR'S NOTE: Right, here it is, Chapter 14. This one is rather long and I have a few thing to say:

1) Dear Harry-lovers...I am so sorry, but I make Harry a bit of a bastard in this chapter...so sorry. I mean, he's really not that bad...he's worried Ginny will get involved with Slytherin trash and she's seemingly going through all the men in the Order and Harry and Ron are a bit overprotective. Just think of it as Harry's feeling jealous and doesn't want Malfoy to have something he can't. (This doesn't mean this is a Ginny-Draco fic, I'm just explaining...) So, erm...sorry.

2) Uh...I was just wondering if J. K. Rowling ever said what house Kingsley was in...if she didn't, then I guess it's perfectly possible that Kingsley could have been a Slytherin...if she did specify, we're just going to pretend Ginny never heard. Because you know what? None of that matters or has anything to do with the plot.

3) Erm...hi.

DISCLAIMER: Not mine unless it doesn't belong to J. K. Rowling.


Hormonal Half-Wits

Chapter 14: Kingsley and Harry, Round 2


Right, so…even with the addition of several more years of intelligence and experience, Kingsley is about as arrogant as Malfoy and Zabini. I wonder if Kingsley was in Slytherin…would cohere…would also add up to my not liking him…I don't like the other Slytherins…not that I'm being prejudiced or anything…to hell with that, of course I'm being prejudiced…Slytherins eat dung…nasty snarky little bastards the lot of them…

Right, so Kingsley…why he of all people had to decide inside was too hazardous for his health (I suspect the twins had something to do with that) and come tromping out into my personal space, I have not the slightest idea…but he did.

Shoving you repeatedly under my arse (which, I must admit, is considerable) will do nothing good for you. But as Kingsley approached in his swaggering, slow gait, I had no other choice. Knowing Kingsley he would have been all in my business and stolen it somehow…sometimes I think living with a bunch of people who specialize in espionage and stealth has its inconveniences…

He came up and shoved my bloody feet off the bench so he could sit down! No, he couldn't have sat on one of the other million and thirty benches in the square…he had to sit on the one I was comfortably occupying.

Well, I certainly wasn't going to just sit there and take it lying down…

So I kicked him off. I really don't think he fully appreciated the hilarity of the situation…him sprawled out in the snow…the wet, mushy snow…I found it more than just a little funny.

Until he reached up and pulled me onto the snow…am glad you were left on the bench, or you'd be soaked now. Well, I wasn't going to let him get away with such a slight on me, so…

To put it shortly, a gigantic snowball fight ensued, one which compromised the health of anyone stupid enough to come into the vicinity, which included, to my immense delight, Ron, who received a snowball to the ear, which I had absolutely no idea contained a little rock in it…poor dear was out cold for five minutes before Hermione came looking for him…

It seemed we had come to a stalemate…so Kingsley decided it would just be a blast to come hurtling at me and knock me off my feet. Having a tall, rather muscular man fall on you with the force of a tackle is not something I'd like to experience again…and I'm only too thankful for the soft snow under me.

It was awkward…we both stopped laughing at the same time as he looked down and noticed the rather noticeable fact that I was inches away. It probably wasn't helping that I kept looking at his lips…

He stared down at me with this strange expression…almost confused, but somehow…uncertain. I'm sure I was looking somewhat similarly befuddled…we both seemed to be waiting for…something to happen…I don't know exactly what, nor does it seem I ever will, because Harry came strolling out of the house at that moment.

Slow, deliberate Kingsley…I don't think I've ever seen him move as fast as he did leaping off me. I'm surprised he didn't do me any damage. Harry came storming up to me and Kingsley, who was now looking acutely uncomfortable.

I've never seen Harry acting so bastard-like and rude unless it's when dealing with a Slytherin…which brings up the point of Kingsley most likely being Slytherin…

Harry was in full bad-arse Boy-Who-Lived superiority, take-that, I-Hate Slytherins mode. Needless to say, Kingsley was soon stowed away in the house and Harry was glaring at me. Being so feeling and sensitive as I am, I'm sure Harry wasn't expecting me to glare right back and tell him to eff off. He didn't take it too well.

Came up and grabbed me by the shoulders. I swore he was going to either rattle my brains around a bit or hit me…he looked more than just a tad infuriated. He didn't. Just carried on about me being determined to have a go at every male Order member before the day was over. Accused me of playing with people's emotions…

I told him to go stuff a cow.

He glared at me, and for once, I wish he would hit me. He wanted to. Just his damnable well-mannered self wouldn't allow him to. Stupid git. He said something about that kind of language not being fit for a lady. I told him he was more of a lady than I was and that I would talk however I damn well please and that just because he was a mild-mannered jack-off who had to resort to wanking because he couldn't handle real women doesn't mean there weren't real women out there. He looked confused until I stood tall and told him I was a real woman and he was only an imitation one.

That penetrated his thick skull.

He asked if I was insinuating something. I rolled my eyes, grabbed you and stormed off, giving him some sarcastic reply that involved monkey's brains and a comparison to him…I think the words 'effing moron' might have entered in there somewhere as well.