Chapter Thirty-Two
"GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM!" was the first thing I heard in the morning. The yell in Jenny's voice was what I often woke up to.
"I'm straightening!" answered Lauren.
"Straighten somewhere else!" retaliated Jenny. Happily I settled back into sleep, waking only when Jenny shook me awake and I hurried to shower.
I was grateful, that morning, that we lived in Tree Hill. If we'd lived elsewhere, I'd have to concentrate more as I drove my sisters to school. As it was, I didn't bother to focus while I turned down various roads that led us to Tree Hill High.
The environment at school was relaxed. It was May. Exams were over, seniors were about to leave and none of us were actually learning anything. Students came and went as they pleased, not caring about the light classes we had.
Jenny liked this. She had gotten into her dream school, all she had to do was live through five easy weeks before summer, in which she'd leave for the entire summer to be a camp counselor and then to Brown for her education.
I didn't know how she could be so relaxed. She'd gone back to calling Mom Mom, but her relations with both of them were still tense. Daddy was stricter with her than he'd ever been. Her relations with me, her supposed best friend, were more tense than they'd ever been and I wasn't even sure if she was back with her boyfriend.
I looked the other way, to my other sister. Lauren had gone all the way with her best friend's ex. Her best friend's! She didn't even appear remorseful. Tess didn't even appear to know. How could she do something like that? There had been times, even back at her age, opportunities had come along. Opportunities with attractive guys that could commit to me. Sawyer Scotts hadn't come along, but things that had seemed almost as good. At the time, at least.
The bell rang and the three of us dispersed into our first period classes. Mine was English.
Sawyer, coming in just as the bell rang, dropped down in the desk directly beside mine and smiled at me. I smiled coyly back and blushed as he admired me and I looked at his beautiful blue eyes.
We were brought back to harsh realities as the teacher began to drone about Gertrude Stein and hand back our quizzes. Ignoring the fact that he'd gotten a D, Sawyer took my hand that rested on the desk.
He brought it down onto my hip and began to massage it rhythmically. Glancing around the room, I gently pulled away my hand and felt a rush as his hand stayed and began to fondle my bare thigh. I transferred my hand to his own, and let it rest tantalizingly close to his belt.
His hand had slid higher still before he raised his hand an asked to go to the men's room. I waited three minutes before issuing a similar request and we met in the hallway.
He pressed me up against the wall of lockers and we began to kiss as though it had been months since we had, opposed to the day before. The now familiar feelings were lit in me as we began to kiss tenderly, our hands remaining stationary on each other's bodies.
"Miss Jagielski! Mr. Scott!" said a voice sharply. We broke apart. Mrs. Gregory, the librarian, was marching down the hall toward us. I cringed and Sawyer took my hand in his to comfort me.
A half hour later we were back in class, after each being assigned a week's worth of detentions and a phone call home. Shell shocked, I ignored his advances and pretended not to notice when he realized I wasn't in the mood and began to concentrate on his work.
Mom and Daddy both lectured me that evening, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been, seeing as they both knew already. They let me off without punishment seeing as they school had already punished me, and even let me go out without suspicion when I said I was going to the river court.
He met me there when I'd already been staring out onto the river for ten minutes. I loved the river, especially in the evening. It was the border between the River Rats and the Hill Kids, the border between their completely different worlds. It reflected the moon in the evening, glittered with the sun in the long summer days. I'd grown up in the river court, the river forever flowing beside.
"Hey, want to play a round?" asked a voice from behind me. Sitting tall, I shook my head carefully.
"Okay. Your parents mad?" he asked, sitting down on the picnic table beside me.
"They were okay," I said softly.
"Yeah. Dad heard before I could tell him, so they had a chance to cool down before we could talk," he explained. I nodded again. "Hey, are you okay?"
The concern in his voice was honest. He cared about me, really he did. But I knew what I had to do.
"We can't go on like this, BJ," I said.
"What?"
"All we ever do now is make out. We haven't climbed trees, or played ball, or even talked since the road trip to Charlotte. Not really," I said.
"We do more. All the time," he protested.
"I'm not ready for this," I said. A tear leaked out of my eye. From beside me, Sawyer powerfully grasped my shoulders. I gasped as he turned me to face him and kissed me hard.
"That's all we are. I want to be friends."
"We can't just be friends, ever again. Now that we've seen what it could be, we can't go back to what we were," he said passionately.
"I won't lose you, and this is the only way not to," I persisted.
"Callie," he said, as I looked away, back onto the river. "Callie, look at me."
When I didn't, he gently took my chin in his index finger and thumb and persuaded my face toward his.
"Look into my eyes, Callie Jagielski, and tell me you don't love me."
I looked deeply into his blue eyes.
"I don't love you," I said dully. He dropped my chin.
"Both of us know we're going to end up together," he said.
"But I can't start forever tomorrow," I said.
"I can!"
"I'm seventeen!"
"You're a week younger than me!" he protested.
"Still too young," I said, jumping off the table and running to my car. I expected him to stop me, to change my mind.
But he didn't.
