A/N: WHOOOHOOOO!!!!! 12 reviews and I'm over the moon! Ecstatic, elated, excited – I can't deny my ecstasy! Though I can't help but congratulate myself on my hard work. Hey! It paid off having to drag friends to read my fanfictions. Now I hope to convert them to J.K Singaporeans worshippers, (and perhaps Snape/McGonagall SHIPPERS) at least that's what I want to achieve. I would like to thank Maziah, Reka, Anusha, Shu Yuan, Xu Mei, Xian Hui, Chibiturtle, Anora, Kyra Invictus Black and Sister Rei for reviewing! I'll dedicate this chapter to all of you and I promise it'll only get wackier and more outrageous! You can't stop me muggle! I'm gonna brainwash all of you and convert all Harry Potter fans into Snape/McGonagall SHIPPERS! MWAHAHAHAHA! Just kidding! I love to kid around, so flame me – IF U DARE! ;P

'A hem!' Dumbledore raised his hands for attention, 'I would like to announce that a most unfortunate incident happened today involving two of our staff members who got themselves erm – entangled due to a magical misfortune. As all of you would have noticed, the two involved are Professors Snape and McGonagall. And due to their current situation, I'm afraid they're unable to teach for approximately a week.'

YES!!!! You can't believe your luck! This has got to be a dream! No damn Potions for a week, and certainly no dull Transfiguration lessons to attend and listen to McGonagall drone on and on and on… But then with McGonagall's current condition, you highly doubt she'll be boring. Perhaps if they could just let her resume teaching, she might liven classes up by performing a striptease…

'Hey, Harry!' called Fred and George Weasely, 'Guess what? We set that scene up and got away with it! Aren't we brilliant? People will be talking about this one for years, dude! I'm positive this event will go down in "Hogwarts: a history"!'

'What we?' asked Ron, hurt.

'Err, well yeah,' said George, whacking his little brother on the back reassuringly, 'Icky Ronniekins here had a part to play too. Anyway, Peeves is jealous that we pulled this one and outsmart him, he's kind of hurt that we didn't let him in. Just don't tell him we'd be hiding in the kitchens, okay?' And off the "Malicious Mischief Makers" went, skipping along the corridors pulling girls' pigtails.

Here, both of you decided to pay your professors a little visit. You pushed open the door to the hospital wing and stepped inside. Almost as soon as you set foot, the white matron swooped and descended upon you, 'What are both of you doing here, hmm? Shouldn't you be in bed?'

'Of course we should! Come on, Ron! We should make ourselves scarce lest we disturb our favourite professors' beauty sleep,' you said sarcastically. Missing the sarcasm, Madam Pomfrey promptly led you and Ron into their ward, though a little disgruntled, muttering something about Albus allowing visiting times for Professor McGonagall to be extended for his "personal usage".

There, on two identical starched beds lay professors Snape and McGonagall. Actually, it was McGonagall on top of Snape clinging onto him like a koala bear really, but anyway you were glad he was in an uncomfortable, tormenting position.

Madam Pomfrey sighed and shook her head, 'Really! I've never seen such a potent love potion! 7 DNA strands added, plus an "Obsessed Fan" bewitchment charm, nothing I can't fix though, but I'm afraid the damage has been done – the victim will be scarred for life!' she added dramatically, indicating Snape. Both of you gasped!

'Ewwwwww…' Ron gagged, echoing your sentiments, 'Snape getting harassed is one thing, but Snape losing his virgin is simply - horrid!'

'No, no, you silly!' exclaimed Madam Pomfrey in a hurry, 'It's just that umm…well I'm not supposed to say!' You whined, begging her to spill the beans.

'Okay, okay. It's just that he umm…let's just say he hurt himself where he shouldn't while struggling,' she cast her eyes downwards apparently indicating something.

'Where?' you ask, deciding to play thick.

'There!' she screeched, casting her eyes down again trying to convey using body language.

'I don't know what you mean, where?'

'Down there! His P - ' she had turned a hue of crimson.

'If you're not intending in speaking clearly, I won't understand you!'

'HIS PENIS, FOR GOD'S SAKE! HIS PENIS! NOW CLEAR OFF BEFORE I JAM THIS UP YOUR NOSE!' she shouted, waving a spoonful of medicine she'd been holding threateningly, but stuck it gruffly into a sulking Severus' mouth all the same.

'Don't think I didn't here you, Potter!' a voice resembling Professor Flitwick's squeaked. You started and located the source of the voice – Snape. You wanted to howl with laughter then, but Madam Pomfrey brandished her spoon again and you quickly hurried out with Ron, giggling uncontrollably.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Potions Lesson No. 4 – Sometimes, the truth hurts…

'Harry!' moaned Hermione, knees quacking under the heavy load, 'Would you please utilise the two lumps you call legs to walk?' Double potions first thing in the morning and a week had past. Mostly, meaning Snape was back and you'd been really dreading what he'll do to you especially after that "visit". So you'd literally let yourself be dragged by Ron and Hermione to the dungeons.

'WELL, WELL, WELL…' boomed Snape, as soon as your friends plopped you into a chair. It was evident that he'd been cured, 'Well, I'd been thinking over our past lessons during my absence and I think this class should be quite ready for a hands-on experience.'

The whole class started to fidget nervously, especially you. You don't know why but you suddenly felt hot.

'Instead of just learning about the effects of Veritaserum, we should test it shouldn't we?' Snape withdrew from his robes a vial of clear Veritaserum and shook its contents teasingly, 'Who would like to be our test subject first?' No one responded as Snape poured small amounts of it into two-dozen or so goblets of pumpkin juice he had magicked out of thin air.

'You then, Potter,' he pointed a sprawling finger at you, 'Drink this. The rest of you, take a goblet each and down it!' The class passed the goblets around and drank it reluctantly. You too, had no choice but to follow suit. Your insides squirmed, what if you revealed Ron, Fred and George? Not to mention your innermost secrets?

Finally, when everyone had drank finished, Snape whipped around and faced you, 'So, Mr. Potter were you the one who gave Minerva * cough * I mean, Professor McGonagall the love potion?' Pansy giggled. Snape always referred to his colleagues formally while talking to students. Odd.

'Sorry, but I don't know who "Minerva * cough * I mean, Professor McGonagall" is,' you answered blankly, the potion taking effect.

Snape sighed exasperatedly and slapped his forehead. 'I repeat, were you the one who gave Professor McGonagall the love potion?'

'No, though I thought it served you right, you slimy git! And I wished I could use it freely so I can feed some to Cho Chang.' You could have kicked yourself.

'W- what? Harry likes Cho Chang?' exclaimed Pansy in bewilderment. Ron opened his mouth to say something like, 'Shut up!' but returned her with a, 'Didn't you know, duh!'

'Next, Longbottom. What is your deepest innermost secret?'

'Are we really suppose to drink this?' squeaked Neville holding up his still full goblet.

'What?? You haven't drunk it? Yes, of course!' cried Snape, livid.

'Aren't you drinking it too? You said everybody.'

'Except me!' cried Snape, 'Now Longbottom, if you ask me one more question, I promise I'd personally shrink Trevor and feed him to Fang!'

'No fair!' Neville pouted but shuddered at the thought. He obeyed and drank it up. 'So tell me, Neville. What is your deepest innermost secret?'

'I'm most terrified of you.'

'Figures,' sneered Snape, 'Next! Miss Granger, what is your deepest innermost secret?'

'I have successfully led the house-elves in rebellion! My S.P.E.W has taken the first steps of liberating house-elves and I'm proud to say the rebellion would commence today at 9:30am!'

'Spew?'

'It's S.P.E.W and it's the Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare to you, Mister. In case you don't know, they should be enacting their rebellion right about now!'

Snape snorted, 'Tut! Tut! Looks like the very brightest are also delusional! Mr Weasely, what is your innermost secret?'

Again, Ron opened his mouth to say Nothing! But ended up saying, 'I had a part to play in Fred and George's prank on you and McGonagall!'

'Oh is it?' Snape's voice was soft and dangerous now, 'And pray where are Masters Fred and George Weasely?' You held your breath. Don't say it, Ron! Don't say it!

'They're hiding in the kitchens avoiding Peeves who wants a piece of them too.' Oops!

Too late. Snape had stormed towards the kitchens in search of the Weasleys! You hurried in his wake, along with Ron, Hermione and the rest of the class. He reaches the kitchen and tickles the pear in the portrait, opening the entrance when suddenly -

WHAM!!

A cream pie had just whacked itself into the face of the Potions Master, hooked nose and all. After a few moments, Snape opened his eyes slowly, deliberating his scowl. Then he opened them fully and –

Snape had barely enough time to gasp in horror. At that precise moment where he opened his mouth to gap, a whole turkey zoomed straight at him and hit the bull's-eye when it stuffed itself into his mouth with the bone of the bird poking out like an arrow.

You stuck your head around him and an apple aimed you but whizzed past, nearly squashed your face. But that's beside the point. The most amazing sight met your eyes. House-elves. Thousands upon thousands of them! Holding up tattered signboards that read "S.P.E.W", "Gimme my money's worth or I'll give you what I've got!" or "Wizards are a load of tosh!" They were engaged in what appeared to be havoc wrecking and were chanting liberation stuff and looking pissed. Then you grinned. Fred and George Weasely, along with Peeves the Poltergeist were rallying the house-elves up; all three had S.P.E.W badges pinned to their chest.

'You're not kidding?!' cried Ron to Hermione, half exasperated, half admiring.

'House-elves and house-elvesses, elflings and elflingses! Do you notice that big black oaf there? Well he - is a wizard! We must attack him! But the others are our friends! They want to liberate us! But this – this SCUM's desire is nothing more than to enslave us! Forward my brothers!' Fred was jumping up and down on the kitchen table like some political candidate.

The house-elves sprung at Snape at once in unison. They tossed him around, kicking and tossing him from one end of the room to the other like a human football. The way Snape was moving, you thought it was most reminiscent to the time when you'd try to fly your bucking broomstick.

'PAT NI DOON! PAT NI DOWN' Snape choked, his body being pumped like a rag doll.

'Thought you'd never ask,' said George, signalling to the elves to stop. They stopped, rather abruptly though, and Snape who was dangling by his cloak off a signboard plonked to the ground. Snape yelled as he landed onto his bum. His robe burst open, revealing his chest and the top of his green snake covered boxers. Not very graceful, I know. Before he could regain his composure though, Fred yelled 'Wingardium Leviosa!' and levitated a watermelon and let go –

BAM!!! SPLAT!!!

So that it covered Snape's head, which was weird enough without the turkey sticking out of his mouth!

'YUDGEWTIDWEEDFY!' Snape attempted to curse, but he's voice was muffled by the turkey and the watermelon covering his head.

Ah, well! Why not end it for him? You inhale and shout, 'Class Dismissed!'

A/N: I just caught the Harry Potter PoA trailer on TV! YAYY!!! They showed Snape turning sharply around in one scene and I thought the way he did was cool! Sorry I keep tormenting him in this fic but I promise I'm gonna make his life better from now on! I also caught the scene in the trailer where the camera revolves around McGonagall eerily as though she's the main character and is having an adventure! Then there's the black hooked hand! Sirius Black's I presume? It was creepy! It clawed the doorframe like Snape's did in my fic! Sirius Black was cute, he kept growling in the WANTED posters posted round Hogsmead. Then there was this choir of Hogwarts students who sang in the background and the trailer ended powerfully by showing them at the end and BOOM! The Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban logo came up! Bye for now!