A/N: This is my first SG fic ever. I came home from the A.P. exam from hell and it was just screaming to come out. AU, because the only thing I ever remember them saying about SG-10 was they were the team that got sucked into the black hole. Obviously, this SG-10 is not that team. I'm thinking that they were probably the 'lost' team's replacements. Also, if SG-10 was investigating a black hole, I doubt they were a black ops unit. This SG-10 changed functions about the same time they were replacing the old team. Yes, Manda, Dionne Warwick is the psychic lady with the friends. Also, slight spoiler for Atlantis episode "38 Minutes." Slight as in, if you haven't seen it, you won't notice the spoiler.

This is unbetaed so I'm fairly certain all the characters you know and love are gonna by OOC. Tell me. I really want to get this right, so if my Jack does something stupid, tell me. Or if you don't like something. Or anything. Since I'm new at this I want you guys to help. Just be polite about it. Several people have given me ideas, so I've reworked it and am reuploading it. It's basically the same, but it's set up the way it is on my LJ. That means don't freak about it having more chapters, it's just the same chapters in smaller pieces.

On a totally unrelated matter, aren't all fanfics AUs? I mean, if we had to write them, it obviously didn't happen on the show and as such isn't canon.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Stargate. Gekko does. (That always makes me think of the little lizard with the British accent.) Some other people own it as well. They are all much richer. The basic ideas for this fic came from Danvers and Anais. Read the SG-15 stuff and Dr. Jackson's Diary. They are hilarious. Somebody warned me so I decided to put a blanket thing on all my stories (het, slash, gen,) Please, bring an open mind. Remember, everyone's life is not the same.


"Tell me you have good news, Doctor," I muttered extremely frustrated. Dr. Fraiser had called me in from the search; Sarge had been loose in the SGC for a little over five hours now and nobody had seen hide nor hair of her since she shot us in Archaeo. Lab. 13. (Now the greasy chemist from Area-51 was complaining that she had rearranged his desk, though.) It had gotten to the point where Davis and Siler were trying to calibrate the sensors to track her down. I hated to admit it, even to myself, but I was starting to get worried. When Dr. Fraiser had tried to keep O'Neill in the Mountain once, he had managed to get out using ventilation ducts. It wouldn't surprise me if Sarge knew how to do it, too.

"I'm sorry, Davis. I don't have good news. I have great news. I found the cure."

"What?" I started.

"Walk with me." Dr. Fraiser led me to where three men and three women were sitting on the beds. "Dr. Daniel Jackson, Major Paul Davis, Nyan, Major Sam Carter, Nurse Cathy Jennings, and Dr. Janice Leonard-Peace." I guess she was naming them. Honestly, I didn't care. "I injected them all with the disease that I found in Alien's bloodstream. Dr. Jackson, Maj. Davis, and Dr. Peace were fine. Nyan, Maj. Carter, and Nurse Jennings all started to exhibit...less severe versions of Alien's symptoms.

"So I began playing with Dr.s Jackson's and Peace's and Maj. Davis's blood. Come to find out they all had the same blood type. Alien's. Next, I ran a..."

"Dr. Fraiser, while I'm sure Medic Bliss would be loving this conversation, I'm not. Please, try to remember I blow things up for a living," I said tersely.

"The people who were fine all had a very large amount of caffeine in their blood stream. So I gave Nyan a cup of coffee. Eureka!" Dr. Fraiser said with the air of someone who'd figured out alchemy. "He was cured. The organism died of caffeine poison..."

"Oh my God," I interrupted. "I know what caused this." Dr. Jackson started to interrupt me, but I started talking over him. "There was this odd looking coffee pot thing. The translation read something like, 'In search of truth' or 'To see inside.' Something like that anyway."

"You think she got this from touching a coffee pot?" Dr. Jackson interrupted quickly.

"Yeah. I mean, yes, sir. We all touched it, but about 75 percent of the guys' and my blood is made out of coffee. That's why we're not affected and she is," I said feeling slightly upset that he kept trying to interrupt. She's my 2IC first. Then, she's his favorite translator.

"Gentlemen..." Dr. Fraiser said sternly as Dr. Jackson opened his mouth to speak again. "All we have to do is force feed Alien coffee and she'll be back to normal."

"How am I supposed to do that?" I snapped before realising where I was. "Sir."

"She's probably tired of being telepathic, now that the novelty's worn off. Tell her the truth; Alien'll know and come back with you." Both of us mentally added, I hope.

SG10SG10SG10SG10

I ended up having to broadcast over the main intercom. Asking a potentially insane, psychic, black ops agent to meet me in a secluded room while alone and unarmed has to be the stupidest thing I've ever done. Honestly, I was surprised when she met me.

"Hey, Sarge. Dr. Fraiser found a way to make you better." My 2IC stared at me. "You know I'm telling the truth."

"No. We know you think you're telling the truth. Janet might have been lying to you to get us back in the infirmary." Well, when she put it like that.

"You have a point. Will you try anyway? You won't even have to change since you're still wearing those scrubs," I said mentally begging her. Sarge contemplated it for a minute.

"Eh. What've we got to lose? At the most, we have to break out of the infirmary again," my 2IC grinned.

"Um. No. I'm gonna put big, mean, huge, trigger-happy SFs around your bed. And Teal'c. And Dr. Mac." I said as I put my arm around her and we began walking toward the infirmary.

"And we're going to have to hurt those big, mean, huge, trigger-happy SFs around our bed. And Teal'c. And Dr. Mac...though, we'd probably hurt him just for the hell of it."

"That's my Sarge!" I said pretending to be teary-eyed.


Please, remember: any criticism should be constructive.