Chapter Forty-Two

"Hey, look, she nodded off," said Jenny, giggling. I turned to look at Lauren, fast asleep on the bedroom floor.

"It's pretty late," I said understandingly. It was two o'clock in the morning on September third, 2022. The morning of the day that Jenny would board a plane to Rhode Island to attend Brown University. The day that for the first time in our lives, she was leaving me behind.

But of course we were still awake. We'd resolved to stay up the whole night, to commemorate the friendship we'd shared. It was as if our whole world was now split in to two-JH (Jenny at Home) and JU (Jenny at University.)

"Do you remember how we always used to play that game where you jumped off the swing and competed to get the furthest?" she asked suddenly.

"Yeah. You always won. A while ago, Sawyer and I…" I halted. Sawyer didn't belong in the night with us.

"And how Daddy and Uncle Nathan would always try to teach us all to play basketball? All five of us?" asked Jenny, giggling.

"Yeah. Me and Sawyer against the three of you. We were pretty bad, even him," I said. There he was again, interrupting our sister time.

"I don't know, Tess could do a mean granny throw," said Jenny, cracking up.

"I feel bad for Tess. I love her, and I've grown up with her, but she's kind of excluded, you know?"

"You mean since her best friend betrayed her and you slept with her big brother?" she asked, giggling hysterically. I took the beer bottle from her hand and drank from it.

"Yeah. Who knew we'd all turn out like this?" I asked, suddenly more sober.

"Yeah. Well, we all knew about you and Sawyer," she said.

"Except for me."

"Oh, come on," she said, rolling her eyes. I innocently turned to face her.

"What? I didn't!" I said defensively.

"Not even a little tiny bit?" she teased. I blushed and shrugged. Maybe, at the back of my mind, it had always been there.

"Are you going to come home?" I asked her.

"Subject changer. And I honestly think I'm a bit too late," she admitted.

"That's not true! We all want you back Po," I said.

"Thanks. I've been out since noon and she hasn't called me yet," she said. Nikki, she meant.

"Why…?"

"Do I stay with her? Because I still can't believe all the lies they've been feeding us for seventeen years," she said bluntly.

"They want to change," I whispered.

"Some day, I'll shut Nikki out and never look back," she promised.

"Sooner rather than later. Please?" I requested.

"I'm going to miss you, little sister," she said. I began to tear up right on schedule.

"You too. I don't know where I'm going to get guidance from from now on," I said.

"With Sawyer?" she asked sleepily.

"Yeah. I'm really worried he slept with someone after we broke up," I said. She shrugged but didn't meet my eye.

"I hope he didn't, but it was three months," she said.

"A long time, for him," I said.

"Well, that's all changed now," she reminded me. I smiled weakly at her.

"I'm not good at dealing with change," I said suddenly. Jenny looked at me and raises a perfectly arched eyebrow.

"No," she said. "You're not."

"Like Sawyer it took us three months to really get our act together when we both fully knew, the entire time, that it was what we want," I explained.

"Yeah, because you're so insane. Is Mom still mad at you?" she asked. I smiled as the word 'Mom' slipped out so naturally.

"She's letting her guard down. Slowly." I sighed as I thought of how cold Mom had been to me since our fight in Maine.

"This is taking a lot out of her," said Jenny.

"It's hard on all of us," I said.

"Does Daddy know about you and Sawyer?" she asked.

"Only if Mommy told him. I know I didn't," I said. Daddy loved and trusted Sawyer, but he didn't truly trust anyone with his daughters.

"Well, you aren't insane," she said, giggling.

"So how are you and Rhys?" I asked curiously. She hadn't mentioned him yet.

"Over," she said shortly.

"What?" I asked, spitting out the mouthful I'd taken a moment earlier.

"Well, he slept with someone else, I slept with someone else, his someone else is pregnant and we think we're better off apart," she said bitterly. I always though she deserved better, but I'd never been stupid enough to say so.

"Oh my God," I said disbelievingly.

"I have to go to the bathroom," she said slowly, stumbling out of bed. I watched her as she got out of bed and went down the hallway to the bathroom. I flicked my gaze to Lauren, sleeping on the floor.

A shriek brought me out a light reverie and I leapt out of bed, thankful that the floors were soundproof and Mom and Daddy likely hadn't heard. I ran down the hallway to the bathroom and encountered Jenny, staring disbelievingly at a cardboard package. I squinted at it: Predictor it stated in simple, bold writing.

"Is that what I think it is?" I asked breathlessly. She nodded, eyes wide. She covered her hand with toilet paper and turned the box 45 degrees. An oblong plastic device tipped onto her hand. Both of our eyes went immediately to the tiny, plastic screen.

It had a red positive sigh, clear as day.

Both our heads turned slowly to the open bedroom door where our baby sister slept.