Post Tabula Rasa fic
Spoilers up to Wrecked.
All characters are property of Joss Whedon, et al. I'm only using them for my story.
Rating: PG. So far nothing major has happened, but it may end up different after a while.
Summary: Spike helps Tara move out after Tabula Rasa, goes back to visit. So far it's following along with Season 6, but will probably go AU after a while.
I love feedback. email: Noctem
Chapter 5
Hot Chocolate
by feles-noctis
Tara awoke to the sound of someone banging on her door. Quickly she stumbled through her room, grabbing a robe and wrapping it tightly around her as she made her way through the apartment. The demanding knocking caused her to hurry and stub her toe in the dark. "OW! Just a minute! I'm coming" she called as she limped the last bit of the way to the door. She sincerely hoped that there wasn't an apocalypse that needed her right now, but that was the only reason she could think of for someone to be at her door. They usually included running, and right now it hurt to walk. She wearily looked out the peephole in her door and was surprised to see bleached blond hair and a black jacket. Spike, she realized. Quickly, she undid the lock and opened the door, concerned. "Spike" she began, but was quickly cut off as he turned toward her.
"Can I come in, Glinda" She was a bit surprised. He almost sounded nervious she would turn him away.
"Of course, Spike. You know you're welcome here anytime you want." She moved out of his way as quickly as she could with a hurt toe as he rushed past, going directly to the kitchen counter and setting down the coffee cups. He fiddled with them a moment before swiftly turning and starting to pace back and forth between the couch and counter, his jacked swirling around him at every turn. "Spike? What's wrong" Tara questioned as she closed and locked the door, more than a bit nervious by the vampire's obviously upset state. She hadn't seen him this worked up in quite a while, if ever. She watched him for a while, growing more nervious as he ignored her questions and continued to pace. At last she tried again, louder. "Spike! What happened? Is everyone alright" She couldn't keep the hint of panic from her voice, but it served its purpose. He immediately stopped pacing, much to her relief, and turned to face her, seeming a bit surprised that she was in the room.
She stood, watching him as he took deep, unneeded breaths, obviously trying to calm himself before speaking to her. In the back of her mind she knew that if it had been something that needed immediate action, they would have already been gone, but the question of why he was here and what had him so upset was still unanswered. She slowly walked over to him, paying clsoe attention as he watched her every move, and took his hand gently in hers. He seemed stunned as she led him to the counter and sat him in one of the stools.
He couldn't help but look at their joined hands joined, amazed at the calming feeling that permiated him simply by her touch. It was like her peaceful nature was being passed to him. He couldn't remember feeling anything like it in his long existence. Then again, he thought, it could just be his imagination and agitated state. She sat across from him, just looking at him, worry evident on her face. He had come with the intent of telling her everything that had happened tonight, but when he looked at her, it was impossible for him to speak. She had already been so hurt by her ex. He didn't want to add more pain to that. But she deserved to know.
So, he gave her the hot chocolate, which, surprisingly to him, she drank without a second glance as he slowly began to tell her about his night. At first she sipped at the drink, but soon she had the styrofoam container in a death grip while her other hand sat loosely in his. Amazingly, she remained silent the entire time he spoke. He kept expecting her to interrupt him or ask questions, but she just sat and listened. He watched their joined hands the entire time, not wanting to look at her face and see the pain he was causing her. He knew he shouldn't feel bad about hurting the witch's feeling's, but she had been nice to him, had invited him into her home. She had been kind to him when he knew he didn't deserve it.
At last he finished"I'm sorry, pet. I just thought you deserved to know." Spike shook his head, realizing how stupid this plan of his had been. He'd woken the girl up in the middle of the night to tell her that her ex-lover had gone overboard with the magics and had gotten the Niblet hurt. Just what anyone wanted to be woken up to. He hadn't really thought too clearly on his way over. He had just wanted to talk to someone, to her.
"It's alright, Spike. Th-Thank you for telling me" she replied quietly, her tone causing him to look up at her finally. She gave his hand a squeeze before taking it back to hold the styrofoam cup. He had been expecting her to be crying or angry or something, but instead there was only sadness and pain and loss on her face, but no tears or anger. Instead there was a sort of determination, a realization that no matter what, things would never turn out the way she wanted. And he realized it too. As much as he wanted Buffy to admit she had feelings for him, that what they had done meant something, he knew by trying to corner her it would never work. She would never admit it as long as he kept pushing. Just like Tara knew that no matter what she tried to do for her ex, no matter what she said, it would never be enough for Red to stop. They had to chose to do it on their own. And so, he and the witch would either be destroyed trying to fix everything, or live with the pain that they couldn't do what was needed for their loves.
Incongruently she asked"Did you want to come over when Dawn spends the night sometime? I know she misses seeing you. I can let you know when she'll be over after dark, if you want." He looked up at her. He hadn't realized he had been staring silently at his hands for a while now. The look on her face from before was gone, replaced with a warm kindness he was unused to. He had seen that face when she had talked to Dawn and the others, but not him. It was strange to think that this girl could look at him so gently after everything she had been through while the Slayer only seemed to glare at him no matter what happened. The witch gave him kind looks even after he had ripped her heart out. He suddenly realized he had been comparing the two for a while now, and absently wondered when that had started. There were a few things similar about them, but mostly they were in two separate worlds in his mind. The witch was Red's and Buffy was the Slayer. Up until he had run into her in the graveyard, he'd hardly given her much thought besides when he had hit her on the nose and when she had been out of her mind. And here she was, inviting him in, talking with him at all hours of the night, and asking him if he wanted to come over to visit Dawn.
"Yeah, Glinda, that'd be nice." He gave her a small, slightly nervous smile, not quite sure what to make of her. She was so different from the others. She had seen him break the Scoobies apart when Adam had been around, had been told the stories of what he was capable of, had patrolled with him and seen the violence in him for herself, and yet here he was, sitting in her kitchen, drinking cocoa and chatting. It seemed so odd. It reminded him of times in the past with Joyce. She would invite him in and they would have drinks and sit and talk for hours, just to talk. He hadn't realized how much he missed that until now. Until the witch had given him that back.
He absently picked up his glass and took a long gulp, shuddering at the taste. He mock-glared at Glinda when she chuckled at him. He hadn't realized quite how long they had been sitting. His hot chocolate had gone cold and tasted terrible. "How about I make you a warm glass of blood instead? It has to be better than cold hot chocloate" she offered, getting up and starting to dig in the cupboards. He smiled at her thoughtfulness and went to dump out the offending liquid, snatching up her empty cup from the counter and throwing both away. She turned as he brushed back past her in the small kitchen, a confused look on her face for a moment as she eyed where the glasses had been, then look him in the eye and gave him a bright smile in thanks. He simply nodded his head and sat back down to watch her continue.
He spent the next few hours watching late-night television with her. She claimed she wouldn't be able to get back to sleep now that she was up, but Spike figured it was more not wanting to be alone than anything else. He had the same feeling. The television kept them from thinking too much on the painful events of the night and the jokes at the expense of the shows helped to hide the pain. When she started to doze off, he grabbed one of the blankets off the back of the sofa and covered her with it. It wouldn't do for her to catch cold. When he was sure she was fast asleep beside him and it was almost dawn, he turned off the television and silently left, wanting her to get as much sleep as possible.
When she awoke, she was covered up on the sofa. Her late night visitor was nowhere to be found. The sun was peeking in from one of the tiny windows, telling her that it was morning. She hoped that he had made it home alright. That day she got a visit from an upset Dawn and promises that she would be spending the night over at the apartment for the next couple days. Dawn's mood immediately brightened when Tara mentioned letting Spike know so he could come and see her. She had gone and dropped off a note at his crypt, but didn't want to wake him, so left it taped to the inside of the door, hoping she hadn't disturbed him or invaded his home while also hoping he would find the note. The rest of the day was spent worrying about Willow and Dawn and her classes, with the occasional thought to the note she had left the vampire.
A/N: Sorry it's so short again. I meant to have this up last week, but with the idea for a new story that needed to be written down before it was forgotten and then my internet crapping out for 3 days made it hard to get it up. With the ideas swimming for another story, I'm planning on updating this at the beginning of each month, so there'll be at least one chapter each month, maybe more depending on how much time I get. As always, thank you everyone for the wonderful reviews. It's great to know that someone likes this.
