Chapter Fifty-Two

"Cal? You in there? Get out, you've been in for hours," said Sawyer, his voice only just hearable over the hiss of the shower.

"I'm conditioning. Deal with it," I said, giggling as I applied conditioner to my hair and reached for my soap.

"Really mean that?" he asked.

"Duh. But don't flush the toilet," I instructed. He laughed, and a moment later he slid open the frosted glass door of the shower and stepped into join me. I shrieked in surprise and delight as his slick body came closer to my own.

Fifteen minutes later, I flipped my sopping hair over my shoulder, flicking him with water from it. He shook out his short dark hair like a dog, and ran his fingers through it.

"Do you have to go out?" I asked, letting my towel drop slightly.

"Yeah, we're out of milk," he said.

"Okay. Come back soon," I said silkily. We met in the middle of the room and kissed. He pulled on a shirt and a pair of basketball shorts, leaving while he was still wet.

I dried and wrapped a blanket around me as I went outside to get the mail. Summer had abandoned us and the chill of the coming months had come.

There was only one significant piece of mail, a letter from Jenny. I ran inside to read it.

Mrs. Scott,

That's so freaking weird. How's married life? How's newlywed sex?

Speaking of which, Lyle and I finally got our act together. Sober, even! It was great. So now I've officially been with three guys. Not quite as pure as my little sister, but who is?

How's the baby? Have you had an ultrasound yet? Are you going to find out the gender before it's born? Daddy and Mom didn't for you and didn't for Lauren, but Nathan and Haley did for Sawyer and didn't for Tess.

Nikki hasn't written to me since I got here. She disappeared when she realized that I realized there was no way in hell she could pay for tuition. I don't know where I'm going back to at Christmas. I'm beginning to think that moving out was the worst decision I ever made. I should have talked to you or anyone before I did, to let some sense get into me for once.

But I love it here. All my classes are surprisingly interesting. And my roommate, Siobhan, is pretty cool. Not as good as you though, of course. You should see how tiny our room is… maybe you can though? I'd like it if you could come visit me, sometime before your bundle of joy comes along. Are Mom and Daddy mad at you about that? Are they worried about you? Lauren must be so lonely. Tess, as well.

Guess who's here? I think you can. Anyway, got to go.

Love,

Jenny

I read her letter and read it again. My eyes paused at the line in which she mentioned the three guys she'd been with. Rhys, of course, and Lyle. But who was the third?

The letter she'd written to me during the summer. Of course-the younger, hot guy she wouldn't go into details about.

I went upstairs to our room to rummage through a box, eventually uncovering another box, this filled with letters and other things special to me. I picked up one of the most recent I'd gotten, and replaced it with the letter she'd just written me.

I won't even tell you his name, because you'd be mad at me, but he's so very hot and a bit younger.

My eyes had skimmed through the line when I'd first read it, but I read it carefully. Why couldn't she tell me his name? Why did she think I'd care? For it to matter, it would have to be someone I knew. Someone I cared about.

My hands flew to the letter directly above the one I'd just picked out. My eyes skimmed through the letter written in my husband's round, even writing until I found what I was looking for:

We stopped in to visit Jenny on the way here, she's doing good, said to pass on a 'hello'.

My head pounded as I strained to remember everything they had each said about the mystery person they'd hooked up with during the summer. They couldn't possibly have done this to me-they were the people I loved and trusted above all else, and they knew it well. I thought of the fight Sawyer and I had had on the basketball court, when he'd confessed his summer activity.

How had I been so blind? The clues had been right in front of my eyes all along. How had they both tricked me so thoroughly?

"Squirt!" came an expectant voice. An unexpected wave of love swept through me, almost taking my breath.

I heard his footsteps on the floorboards-his large, wide, running shoe clad feet trudging up the stairs to meet his wife to resume the activities of the half hour ago. What a difference a half hour could make.

He entered the room and his eyes immediately sought me, sitting cross legged on the edge of the bed. He walked over and smiled. I purposefully kept my head bent. His hand crept under my chin, but I slapped it away.

"What's wrong?" he asked in concern.

"Did you sleep with Jenny?" I asked, finally lifting my head to capture his cobalt blue eyes. His eyes plunged into surprise, denial and finally fear. He took a long time to answer.

"Yes," he said softly. I screamed and my hand shot out to hit him. He caught it with his own hand and held it firmly. My other hand flew in to hurt him, and he caught it just as easily. I struggled against his hold, and he pushed me back onto the bed.

"I'm sorry. It was a mistake," he said. I shrieked again, and he transferred one of my wrists to his other hand so he had a free one to cover my mouth. I writhed under his strong hold.

"We were drunk. I was missing you. We decided the next morning that it meant nothing. I would have told you, but she didn't want you to know," he said.

"You married me under a lie," I said, when at last he'd peeled his hand away from my mouth, my wrists still captured in his hand, making me completely immobile.

"You already knew that I hadn't been abstinent during the summer," he said.

"Jenny's my sister," I reminded him. A tear threatened to escape from my eye.

"I never meant to hurt you," he said.

"I want a divorce," I whispered. His eyes grew wide with shock and fear as the phone rang. Reflectively he grabbed it and pressed a button to answer it, still staring into my eyes.

"What? Mom? Slow down. What… God. Is she okay..? We'll be right there," he said.

"What's wrong?" I asked suspiciously. He stared at the phone in his hand.

"Tess. There's been an accident," he said dully. The tear escaped my eye and another joined it.

"Turn me loose," I said. He compiled easily, and released my wrists. I rubbed them to give them back feeling before going onto my knees. With me kneeling on the edge of the bed and him standing, he was still taller than me. I put my arms around his neck and leaned into him. Hesitantly, I rested my head on his chest and his arms found their way around me.