A/N: Not to be mean or anything, but did y'all not notice that it said "slash" in the summary? Just FYI.
3/25/05
I just want so badly to end the pain that I feel, but every time I try to, I get stopped. It is either someone calling me to go work a scene, or my lover coming home from work. So instead of trying to end it, I go out and get hammered whenever possible. Then I stumble into the house where my lover is sitting playing NFL Street 2 and watching the clock.
But that was before a case that hit really close to home. It was a case where this burnt woman was found at the bottom of the hill. When I saw her body, the scars began to ache and I had the temptation to find the nearest trashcan and empty my stomach. All I could think of was that I could have looked like that. When I saw her husband, I wanted to tell him…something, I'm not sure what. I just wanted to give him some comfort, actual comfort.
After that, the dreams just got worse, as did my drinking. The dreams alone just caused Warrick to break up with me. Then, when he left, I realized that I could start to kill the pain in a way besides drinking. I started stealing beakers from the lab so that I could use them to cut.
