Chapter 8: Tonight's the Night
A/n: If you either don't know the musical's story or don't remember from the summary, I highly recommend going back to chapter 2 to read the summary (it will help make sense). By the way, jandl, I had such a bad day when I read your review and it made me feel so much better, so thanks a ton!
There's no fun in being an angel child– I hear the call of the wild. If the worst should happen, it serves me right, tonight's the night.
– – – – – – –Opening night. The words echoed through Sydney's head as she paced around her dressing room. She checked to make sure all her costumes were in place for the hundredth time, and glanced in the mirror at her make-up job. Fine, it was fine. No. It was perfect.
How was it opening night already? Just yesterday was the dress rehearsal, which went through with plenty of problems, all conveniently pointed out by Damien Bruggman. Sydney didn't care, though. His problems were much different than her own, thank you very much.
It was just a day over two weeks ago, Sydney had been rehearsing alone with Vaughn on that stage. It was just a day over two weeks ago that Sydney had danced with Vaughn on that stage. It was just a day over two weeks ago that Sydney had kissed him too…
The kiss.
For the first time that night, she sat down, finally not frantic over opening night; her mind was too jumbled in confusion over Vaughn. This was the man she argued with constantly at first, this was the man she longed for through endless meetings, this was the man she waited for until the end of SD-6, this was the man she loved so hard it hurt. But this was the man who hurt her more than anyone.
How could he go and get married to some other woman, and still sweep her off her feet with one kiss months later? He dared to have the nerve to think she wanted him back. Oh, no, buddy! She was through with him.
Wasn't she?
She was ready to move on without him, and he had to go and ruin that too. But the worst part was… Sydney loved every second of it.
Weiss's New Year's party had been a nightmare. She smiled at everyone, acted happy and carefree like Sophia would be, however it was pretense only. Inside she was screaming, laughing, yelling, crying, singing; her world had been rocked upside down yet again. She could hardly manage to look Desmond in the eye. It pained her to kiss his cheek as the clock struck midnight.
And when she returned home, she cried. She crawled under her covers and rolled into a ball, and engulfed herself in tears of agony. What happened? What was going to happen? Did he still love her? Did he still love his wife? What the hell was happening to her?
The remaining rehearsals were excruciating. Sydney would look at Vaughn and feel complete confusion, desolation, adoration, and desperation for an answer in his eyes. She would search and search, and then she would eye Lauren amongst the other showgirls. And then she'd feel embarrassed. For everyone must gape at the fool who kissed Vaughn! They all must scrutinize the girl who thought there may be another chance!
She worked under dissembled red cheeks and feelings of hatred for the onlookers. She practiced the stage kisses with ease now. She forced her lips up despite the accumulating bile behind them. Such a passion of proving herself to the bourgeois that thought she couldn't handle it took control of her each day on that stage, and battled hard for her restored reputation.
But now, it was opening night.
And that changed everything.
Suddenly, she was Sophia, a young and striving actress from Seattle with no where to go but up. She was suddenly acting with Chris, someone she had just met this year. And she just realized now, sitting on the couch in her dressing room approximately one hour before opening night, that absolutely not one person knew she had kissed Vaughn.
Not.
One.
Person.
Knock, knock, knock. She threw her eyes to the door, expecting whomever the person was to walk through the entrance anyway. Knock, knock, knock. She sighed; opening night. Standing and smoothing out her blue dress, she hobbled around the cramped coffee table to the door and opened it. "Rose, Gabriel, I can't believe you're here!" she exclaimed, shocked to see her former teachers standing outside her door.
Gabriel charged through the door first, and Rose calmly followed. "Sophie girl! Of course we'd come to see you! And my boyfriend's in this too and I wouldn't pass up a chance to see him dressed as a cowboy…"
She gave him a tight hug. "Thanks for coming. It's so great to see you again!"
"I'm sitting in the third row, center, so sing to me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go take a sneaky peek at Jordan now… Break a leg!" He quickly hugged her once more and dashed away from the room. Sydney chuckled lightly at him and closed the door. Now she was alone with Rose Callaway. Rose, Rose, Rose…
With the door shut tightly, Rose took a seat on the couch. "Sydney," her raspy voice rolled, "are you nervous?"
She gulped. God damn, that woman knew everything. Her knees buckled and she fell back onto the couch as well. "I've hardly been nervous in my life, but –"
"Broadway is something else," her lips curled into a smile. "Remember the sharp in 'I Got Rhythm' and you'll be fine."
"Duly noted." Rose glanced around the tiny dressing room, studying Sydney's decorations carefully. Sydney watched as her eyes wandered across the spread of magazines on the table, the pictures taped to the left side of the mirror, the clutter of make-up on the counter.
Sydney, however, began to study Rose. Something about her presence looked different, as if she had something on her mind, but at the same time, perhaps she did not. She paused to cough a few times, a slight wince with each one, but she returned to her studying.
The old woman inhaled a deep, shaky breath and let it out slowly. "Rose," Sydney began, reminiscing in her training days in Detroit, "may I ask you a question?" She nodded solemnly, hesitation before meeting her gaze. "Did something happen between you and your sisters to make you leave Broadway?"
Her question hung in the air; dense as a mist slowly creeping across a valley. "I already told you, I loved the piano more than I did the stage–"
"I don't believe you. I see you here. I see the look in your eyes now, and when you stared at that picture of you with your sisters. So don't lie to me, I just want to know the truth." Rose placed her hand to her chest and coughed a few times before reading Sydney's face. Sydney closed her eyes briefly, and soon spoke again in a calmer tone. "You told me things change. And you can't go back to the way things used to be… What changed?"
"Many things happened all those years ago; it's difficult to say there was only one. Tonight I am here with my nephew, Andrew. He is about your age, perhaps older. He is Lily's son, my older sister's." She paused and took a few heavy breaths. "Things do change, child, but they aren't how they used to be because they're never exactly the same. Things can get worse, yet also better. Do you understand?" Sydney wasn't sure, yet she nodded anyway. Rose took her hands. "I will never have my old life back, with my sisters, and my husband, and my Broadway. But now… I've found a new life amongst the old. It's not the same, but it's just as good."
Sydney understood then, perhaps not as much as Rose had, but she understood. Rose was a woman of many secrets, and none that she was entirely keen on sharing. However, she was also virtuous in wisdom, and revealed her secrets in another form.
Rose patted Sydney's head and stood up, shuffling around the coffee table to the door. "I must find Andrew now, he's probably worried sick about me." She let out a light laugh, though Sydney couldn't figure out why.
She stood up as well. "Thank you," she said sincerely, wrapping her arms around her neck. "Thank you for everything."
When she finally released from the hug, Rose twisted open the door and walked elegantly into the hall. "Oh, and Sophia? About tonight… Knock 'em dead."
– – – – – – –"Five minutes," someone whispered, sparking fireworks of nervous squeals about the cast backstage. Sydney loomed near the door to the dressing rooms with Weiss. He was telling her about an after-party at Kerri's apartment, but she was more interested in watching Vaughn and Desmond interact near the edge of the curtain. There seemed a false friendship between them, pretending they were pals, when Sydney could see through their act laced with a coat of loathing for one another. Vaughn and Sydney. Desmond and Sophia. Of course, Desmond didn't know about Vaughn and Sydney, but there was still something about Chris Garth he found rather unappealing.
"Places!" a crew member spread the word, hushing those backstage. Several showgirls, Kerri, Vaughn, and Desmond all walked out to take their places. They froze in place as the overture commenced, the familiar tunes sweeping over a now silent audience. But soon, the red velvety curtain parted.
"'Shoulders back! Heads high! One more time!'" Kerri's voice rang out over the theater.
Sydney watched with amusement. Something was different about tonight rather than the dress rehearsals, something… Magical in the air. Vaughn opened the first song, tap dancing around Desmond without a care in the world. Later, Vaughn sang and danced better than Sydney had ever seen him dance for 'I Can't Be Bothered Now.'
Seeing Vaughn dance, and seeing the faces in the audience make her think. And she didn't think back to her mother, her father, or this mission; she thought back to Rose. She knew she had to become Rose Callaway tonight. She had to own that stage; she had to belong there, like Rose said. Sydney knew she never belonged in a musical. But she was Sophia now. She had to do it for Rose…
And suddenly before Sydney knew it, she was taking her place behind the door as the other cowboys started 'I'm Bidin' my Time.' Right on cue, she wandered through the door and delivered a tired, "'Mail call!'" The remainder of the scene flew by, with a dehydrated Bobby crawling in and singing his love song for Polly. The scene finished without a hitch and rapidly moved into the next scene.
They sang their first song together– 'Could You Use Me?'– shortly after he planted a light kiss on Sydney's lips. It was so soft and tender that Sydney wasn't acting as she jerked away in shock.
It still, somehow, felt wonderful when Polly got to slap Bobby for being "from that bank." She basked in delight as Vaughn returned as Bela Zangler, complete with his cute little Hungarian accent.
When she belted out 'Someone to Watch Over Me' she felt truly alone and in dire need of someone to love. She even felt awkward as she ran in on Bobby kissing Irene, however relished the resulting argument with Lauren (which Polly totally won, by the way).
And soon, it was just her and Vaughn for the opening of 'Embraceable You.' He looked into her eyes and told her that Bobby was crazy for Polly; Sydney heard the sincerity in his voice and saw the emphasis his eyes gave. As the song went on, they were no longer Polly and Bobby/Zangler. They were no longer Sophia and Chris. She was just Sydney, and he was just Vaughn. And they were together, singing out their real emotions and dancing on air, as if nothing would ever stop them…
Their voices harmonized in a concluding, "'My sweet embraceable…'" and then he kissed her. Not a stage kiss like the past weeks, but a real kiss, with more passion surging through their bodies than before. His fingers tickled down her neck as he pulled her closer. But the lights went blank, and they were forced to separate. He lingered in her arms a moment longer before they headed to their next positions.
'I Got Rhythm' went better than ever imagined, and a dehydrated Zangler went unnoticed by everyone except the audience as he pulled himself onto the stage.
During intermission, everyone was giddy with excitement. The vibe from the audience was spectacular, everyone felt it. Sydney went to change her clothes and fix her make-up. She wanted to find someone to talk to about how amazing it all was, yet she found no one.
She was soon back on stage for the second act and she watched Weiss nail the opening song. And when Bobby tried to propose to Polly, Vaughn looked positively desperate, and absolutely pathetic when he had to tell Polly that he had been Zangler all along. Sydney played him coldly as Polly refused to believe him, and moments later landed a fiery kiss on the now present real Zangler.
She stopped and watched Vaughn and Desmond perform their hilarious duet flawlessly, and she even enjoyed Lauren's 'Naughty Baby' number. (Though she had to admit, Lauren made quite the little slut.)
The next scene passed quickly and Vaughn was serenading her with 'They Can't Take That Away From Me.' He embodied such sadness in his voice, and when his green eyes fought to gaze into Sydney's, it was as if he was remembering all their moments together from two years ago; the moments they could no longer have. She could hear his longing and pain he had gone through. He was truly cherishing them. They had taken Sydney, but they could never take those memories away from him.
Sydney proceeded to pour her soul into 'But Not For Me' as she watched Vaughn exit stage right– "'Although I can't dismiss the memory of his kiss…'" –feeling as lost and dismayed as when she returned from Hong Kong.
She leaned against the door between the dressing rooms and backstage watching Vaughn and several Follies Girls sweetly sing and dance their way through 'Nice Work If You Can Get It.' She felt her heart pump faster as he ripped the Deed of Trust in half and stormed off stage; he's going back for Polly.
Unintentionally, lost in the darkness, she brushed against his hand as she headed onstage for the final scene. And after a wild goose chase between Bobby and Polly, Kerri kicked off the Finale. "'Drop that long face. Have your fling.'" "'Why keep nursing the blues?'"
Sydney rushed for a costume change while the others continued singing. She returned just in time, tapping Vaughn on the shoulder, front and center stage. " You wanna dance, Bobby?'"
"'Who could ask for anything more?'"
Bobby and Polly had finally found each other. He hugged her and kissed her passionately, the perfect ending. But they must finish Finale's dancing and singing.
And suddenly, she was running out and curtsying before a huge crowd; standing ovation, deafening claps, cheers, and whistles. She took Vaughn's hand at her right, and Desmond's hand at her left and they bowed as a company. The curtain closed, and the entire cast cheered and exchanged hugs. The worst was over- opening night was done.
Sydney went back to her dressing room to change her clothes, then headed over to Kerri's place for an after party. She was eager to talk to someone, anyone really, about how incredible this whole night was. When she walked through the door to her apartment, she was blasted with music and the sounds of people talking over it. There were drinks everywhere, and she spotted Kerri talking with a group in the corner, drink in hand. She waved happily to Sydney but stayed talking with her group.
Sydney sighed and sat down at a free space of couch, grabbing a drink from the table. She sipped idly at it, staring around the room for anyone to talk to. Where was Weiss? Vaughn? Hell, she'd talk to Lauren about it right now. Did no one care that this was a wonderful experience? Didn't anyone understand that she had captured Rose's abilities tonight? Apparently not. Kerri was too young to understand; drinking off the success was good enough.
Sydney felt a warm hand on her shoulder. She looked up to find its owner; Desmond Tamas. "Hey," she greeted him with a smile, setting her now empty orange plastic cup on the table in front of her.
Desmond bent over– leaning his face in towards Sydney's– to talk over the music. "Do you want to come to my place. It's much more quiet, and secluded. And… we can talk."
She gratefully accepted, taking his hand as he lead her out the door. Finally, someone who would understand her feelings!
– – – – – – –Desmond dropped his keys on a table near the door and slipped his coat off, helping Sydney's with hers as she looked around. His apartment was slightly smaller than hers, but still perfect for one person. It was well kept and very comfortable looking.
Sydney sat down on the couch as Desmond retrieved some wine and glasses. He sat next to her and poured her a glass. "Sophia, you were amazing tonight," he said, handing her the wine.
"You were awesome, too–"
"No, I mean, you were… outstanding! You're going to be huge one day, I know it, leading in all the Broadway hits."
Sydney blushed. "I don't know about that…"
"I can't wait to read the reviews tomorrow. They're going to gush about you and Chris."
She smirked. "Ve'll see about that, Mr. Zangler," she replied with his Hungarian accent. Desmond lowered his wine glass and stared into Sydney's eyes. She took a larger gulp of the red liquid than she had intended. "Tonight just felt perfect, you know? I've never been in any performance like it."
"I know what you mean. And the chemistry with the audience was great."
"Yeah." Sydney lowered her wine glass as well. Here she was, sitting in Desmond's apartment, talking so civilly over a bottle of wine. He lifted his hand to her face, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, then brushed his fingertips over her cheek.
She closed her eyes and leaned into his embrace; he trailed kisses down her neck. And Suddenly, an odd thought occurred to her: it was Desmond who was here, not Vaughn. She was sick of being confused about him. Did she love him? Was she ready to end it once and for all? Did he still love her? She was sick of waiting to see if it would all figure out. Dammit, she needed what Vaughn wasn't giving her. She looked back up at Desmond and made a final decision.
She turned and straddled him as their mouths connected. He stood up, and they stumbled their way down the hallway to the bedroom, her fingers fumbling with the buttons on his shirt. He pulled her layers of clothing off ravenously, eager to get to the prize. She ripped the belt from his waist, and away went his pants into their messy trail of clothes. And soon they were lost in each other under the covers…
Sydney's eyes slowly blinked open the next morning in a dim light. The clock beside the bed read six AM. She stared down at herself, a white sheet wrapped tightly around her naked body, and she abruptly felt dirty. She wanted to clean away the filth of last night, yet no matter how hard she scrubbed she knew she would not feel clean.
She rolled over and spied Desmond, asleep on his stomach with one arm dangling over the edge of the bed. She rolled onto her back and stared up at the white ceiling. Why did she do this? Last night was a mistake… She felt like she betrayed someone, sleeping with the enemy. But no, she hadn't betrayed anybody. Then why could she only think of her kiss with Vaughn?
She snuck out of bed and made her way down the hall. This couldn't be a total loss, something good had to come of this. But what? Where? How? Now there was a near permanent tie to Desmond that would be hard to break. Why? She mentally bashed herself, Why? What on earth made her think this was ever a good idea? Perhaps she'd had more to drink than she thought. No, no, she had been quite sober when she decided. Oh, what good could possibly come from this?
And then she spotted his lap top.
She cocked her head back towards the bedroom and heard Desmond lightly snoring. Excellent. She flipped it open and waited as it came out of sleep mode. She urged it to go faster in her head. Realizing she didn't have much time, she hurried to her purse and pulled out a device that would copy his hard drive for the CIA and also enable them to view any activity he may partake in computer-wise. How she wished she could read through his files now, but he could feel Sydney's loss at any moment and come looking for her.
Hurry, she exhorted the computer, tapping her fingers silently against her thigh. She kept glancing at the bedroom, making sure everything was all right. Finally it finished duplicating and she unplugged the device and hid it back in her purse by the door.
A sudden floorboard creaked in the distance– Desmond! She shut the computer and looked around franticly. Kitchen, living room, bathroom, closet… Bathroom! She threw herself into the room and closed the door; she flushed the toilet and ran the faucet for a few seconds. She sighed in relief, leaning against the counter as she waited for another second.
Gaining composure, she walked out of the bathroom and acted slightly surprised to see Desmond outside staring at her. She opened her mouth but closed it again. "Morning, beautiful," he stated. She kept quiet, walking towards him. He gathered her into his arms and kissed her forehead. "I woke up and you were gone..."
"I was right here," she whispered.
"You were right here." He stroked her exposed back, his fingers trailing down her spine and around the edge of the sheet. "I know it's early, but I'll make us some breakfast. Why don't you go wait in bed?"
She nodded, and felt a chill as his warm body pulled away from her. She slowly meandered back to the bedroom, grabbing articles of clothing on her way. She got dressed again and threw the sheet against the headboard. She'd have to make it through breakfast, but all she wanted to do was leave. Vaughn had kissed her weeks ago, and she only felt confusion then, but now it was clear what she felt. What had she done?
– – – – – – –Sydney met with Kerri later that day for coffee in the mid-afternoon. They chatted for a while about opening night and the reviews. All stated how well the classic had been redone, and glorified the casting choices and acting, mentioning Sophia, Chris, and Desmond among others. But they quickly moved on to the subject of Kerri's party. "So," Kerri began, her eyes turning mischievous, "I saw you leave with Desmond."
Sydney hesitated. "Mm, yeah. We went to his place."
Kerri looked like she was about to explode with coffee springing from her ears. "Did you…" She raised her eyebrows. Sydney nodded gently, taking another sip of coffee. Did she have to talk about this already? Kerri, unaware of Sydney's regret, squealed in delight. "Well, I for one, am glad you're finally getting over that bastard who broke your heart."
Sydney plastered on a fake grin. All she could think about was "that bastard" and his superb kissing skills. Jesus, it was only one kiss– sort of. What about all the other real kisses last night? She sighed lightly, drinking more coffee to relax her nerves. Somehow she was getting more confused than before. It was clear what she wanted, but confused about what would happen in the future.
Kerri continued about the party. "Nick Chesaning is such a partier." Sydney laughed. "He was one of the ten people who crashed for the night. All eleven of us had massive hangovers, by the way." Thinking of drunken Weiss helped calm and distract Sydney, he always could. But Kerri wasn't done. "Oh, and guess what couple came to the party and left separately? Just guess. Chris and Denise! What do you think, trouble in paradise?"
Sydney nearly spat her coffee over the table, but restrained herself and swallowed. "I really wouldn't know." she answered. Vaughn and Lauren left separately? Maybe it was something to do with the mission. No, it couldn't be, Dixon would have told her too.
Sydney swore to herself. What if Lauren and Vaughn were actually having problems? They hadn't talked at all at the Christmas party. And they hadn't even left the party together last night. She set the empty coffee mug onto the table with a clank. Desmond had been a huge mistake; it was Vaughn that she loved. But now that she'd slept with Desmond, could Vaughn ever again love her back?
A/n:smiles sheepishly: Hi, don't kill me. Look over there- it's Desmond! Go kill him! Go, go:makes a mad dash for it as you look away: Okay, seriously, I know you couldn't possibly be terribly pleased with a certain, um, event, but I guarantee it will get better! Please review for me anyway, and feel free to bash Desmond all you want! I still love you guys and I still love VSR, I promise!
