Chapter Sixty-Seven

Until the moment we arrived home, I honestly thought I could do it. Thought I could fake the sounds, move the right way, let him into me easily without thinking of Mark. It turned out that I couldn't.

We drove home from the hospital slower than we'd come. He began to fill me in with stories of his trip with his Aunt Taylor, only slightly less insane than she had been, with her husband and two kids. He kissed me slowly and lovingly once we'd arrived in our bedroom, and I found myself able to return his kiss without thinking of anything but him. I was fine until his hand began to slide up my shirt and fondle my bare skin that I had a sudden, horrific flashback that almost made me throw up that I pulled away.

"Um, I don't feel like it. I'm kind of coming down with something. Let's just go to bed," I requested. He nodded, pulled off his shirt and shed his clothing until he was down to his flannel boxers. Blushing, I changed into a camisole and a pair of underwear. I stiffened as his strong arms came around me, holding me as they always did. Strong arms that I couldn't break away from.

Hours later, I awoke to a shattering scream. It was a moment before I realized who the scream had come from-myself. Sawyer, propped up on an elbow, looked down worriedly at me. When he saw I was awake, he took me in his arms, put me on his lap and rocked me slowly and comfortingly while he stroked my hair.

"What's wrong?" he asked at last.

"I had a nightmare," I said.

"What happened?"

"I don't really remember. I just felt so alone and scared, and something was coming to get me," I sobbed.

"I'll never let anything hurt you," he promised.

"You have once before," I didn't say. I should have said it, perhaps.

Slowly as he rocked my sobs calmed and fell into slight shuddering before I slept, my face still streaked with tears.

When morning came, I was surprised to find myself still in his lap. His hands were loosely on me, and he was asleep, his feet off the bed.

I slowly eased myself up, but he awoke before I could fully rise, and gripped me protectively for a moment in the disorientation of the early morning before releasing me.

"So how's Tess doing? I haven't seen much of her lately," I said eventually.

"She's laying low. She's finally beginning to give up on that ass," said Sawyer bitterly.

"Good. Well too bad that her baby doesn't get a father, but good thing Tessie isn't clinging to him," I said.

"The baby will have John, and us. It'll be fine," he said confidentially.

"I wish I could share your optimism," I said.

"Oh, it's easy."

"What would you do, if I was pregnant?" I asked suddenly. His eyes grew wide.

"What, are you?" he asked. He sounded almost excited.

"Not as far as I know. You'd be cool?" I asked, as casually as I was able.

"Uh yeah. It'd be cool. And we'd have graduated by the time you had it, if you were," he said easily. I glanced at the calendar that hung on the wall. It was November 16th-if I'd conceived with either of them, I could have had the baby by July, just after high school would end. Months after Tess' was due, on May 3rd. If I'd conceived. And I hadn't. Probably. Maybe.

I smiled uneasily at him when I realized he was staring at me, half excepting me to make an announcement.

"I'm not, not as far as I know. Just in the off chance, you know? Destiny isn't working for us," I said.

"Works for me," he said smoothly, putting his arm around me and kissing me gently. As his kiss grew harsher and more passionate, I had another flashback-Mark's rush, urgent kiss, so unlike any that Sawyer ever made. I pulled away.

"Let's go to the river court," I suggested. He smiled.

The rolling water of the river hypnotized me as it always did as Sawyer's basketball began to swing through the net as he made shot after shot.

I looked up as I saw a car speed past, and continued to look as the car stopped suddenly and a vaguely familiar dark haired girl hopped out.

She began to walk toward us, and I stared hard, trying to figure out how I knew her. She was short but with an athletic build, slim yet strong. A few years younger than me. Sawyer recognized her as well-who was she?

"Callie, Sawyer?" she asked.

"Uh, hi," I said awkwardly.

"Oh, Lucy Wheeler. We met in Maine last summer," she reminded me.

"Of course! Hi Lucy," I said, suddenly recognizing her eyes and how we'd met her.

"Right, you nearly kicked my ass in basketball. What's up?" asked Sawyer. She looked between us.

"So, you together now?" she asked.

"Married," said Sawyer. Lucy raised an eyebrow.

"Wow. Um, I came here to find a friend of my Mom's, Nathan Scott? She's going to Japan for a couple months and I'm staying here with him," she said.

"Nathan Scott's my father," said Sawyer. Lucy gasped slightly and stared at him for a second before recollecting herself.

"Cool. That's my Mom, she's just dropping me off. Think you could get me a ride?" she asked timidly.

"Sure, we'll go over with you," I suggested, exchanging looks with Sawyer.

The silence in the car was filled with our lighthearted, meaningless chatter.

We stopped in front of Haley and Nathan's house. The three of us climbed out, and my husband and I began to walk toward the door.

I put a hand on his arm to stop him when I realized she wasn't following us. I looked back to discover her staring, awestruck, at the beautiful three story house, the perfect green lawn, the wraparound porch, the two expensive cars in the driveway.

"Lucy?" asked Nathan, once we'd call come in. She nodded, suddenly shy.

"It's nice to meet you Mr. Scott," she said.

"You too. This is my wife, Haley, my daughter, Tess, and I guess you already know my son and his wife?" said Nathan.

"Yeah. They were in Maine, too. Small world, huh?" she said, laughing slightly.

"Small world," he echoed, looking more than slightly perturbed.