Chapter Seventy
"John, you going to walk me to physics?" asked Lucy two weeks later, throwing her long hair over her shoulder and looking back at him. He looked up from the conversation he was having with Tess and stood.
"Like I have a choice," he said flirtatiously, linking arms with her. I looked between their retreating backs and my sister-in-law as her expression fell.
"She's such a slut," said Lauren venomously.
"She might be related to me," said Tess.
"Tess, don't," said Sawyer, looking away from his basketball friends.
"What? Everyone thinks so. And have you seen her eyes, and how she behaves? I hate how close to plausible it is, but…" she said sadly.
"She's our age almost exactly," said Lauren, putting her head on my shoulder.
"Nathan would never do that," I said.
"I would have said that Mom never would have kissed some loser behind his back but that didn't turn out to be true," said Sawyer.
"But this is different. This is sex. This is complete betrayal. I mean if you find out that I had…" I cut myself off at the searching expression on his face.
"I'd kill him," he said shortly. I reached out and squeezed his hand in artificial reassurance.
"Jenny left again today," I said.
"Yeah. The doctors were amazed at how quickly she's gotten better," said Lauren.
"It's pretty amazing," agreed Tess, lying back, letting her hands rest on her stomach as her dark hair flopped down, shining in the early winter sun.
The four of us jumped slightly as my cell phone rang from inside my handbag. I reached over to answer it, glancing at the screen and smiling before answering.
"Jen?" I asked.
"Hey Squirt. Just got back, I'm a year behind in classes. Guess who else is here?" she challenged.
"Uh oh," I said nervously, already having suspicions.
"That's right. Nikki's here," she said.
"What's she said to you?" I asked.
"Oh, just that she had to leave suddenly before to take care of something. Didn't say what, but she said she could hang around for a couple months. I wonder what happened to her responsibilities?" she said sarcastically.
"She probably just fobbed them off to someone else. It is her way," I said.
"Yeah. Uh, this is long distance and I have to go. Love you," she said.
"Love you too. Good luck… with everything," I said as our phones clicked off.
"How's Jenny doing?" asked Lauren urgently.
"Nikki's back," I announced. The group around me groaned.
"God, she's like a popup book from hell," said Sawyer, rolling his eyes. The tension around us was immediately relieved as we all burst into laughter.
"Ooh, look, it's Mark. Damn he's fine," said Lauren contentedly.
"Mark! Come here!" called out Tess, before I had a chance to stop her.
I forced myself to remain calm as he sauntered over. Mark never walked-he sauntered, he strutted.
I pushed closer to Sawyer, who put his arm around me. I rested my head on his shoulder.
"Hey guys, what's up?" asked Mark, preparing to drop into Lucy's abandoned chair.
"Don't sit there, someone else is," I said quickly.
"Hey Cal. I handed in the report to the teacher," he said. The chemistry report he'd come over to work on. Right. And there it was again-that Cal…
"Fantastic," I said, looking away. Lauren suddenly turned around and stared openly at me. She sent me a quizzical look. I could never, ever remember how well my sisters knew me.
"Can I walk you to history?" asked Mark, looking up at me again.
"Uh, no. I'm going home. I feel nauseous," I said. Which was true. Ever since we'd sat down for lunch, and I'd caught a whiff of Lauren's sandwich, I'd had a lingering taste of vomit in my mouth.
Our heads all swiveled toward Tess as she choked on a piece of carrot and had a sudden, violent coughing fit. She met my eyes wildly, and seemed determined to process an urgent message.
"Tess? What's wrong?" I asked, taking Sawyer's arm off of me and rushing to her chair.
"Need to talk… to you," she gasped, out of breath. I nodded, and helped her out of her chair as she directed me quickly toward the bathroom.
"Oh my God!" she gasped as soon as we were in the girl's room.
"What?" I asked wearily.
"You're nauseous! You turned down tomatoes-you love tomatoes!" she burst out. I shrugged in confusion. "Appetite changes. Come on girl."
"What?" I asked shakily, my colour leaving me.
"When was the last time you had your period?" she asked, reaching for my hand.
"I don't know," I said miserably.
"Oh God. Let's go to the drugstore," she suggested.
"No, I have absolutely no faith in at home tests. Let's go to the clinic," I said, letting her lead me out of the bathroom.
To the clinic we went. They took a sample, clucked at my age, inquired about the father and sent me on my way with the information that they'd call when they knew.
"At least you're married," said Tess eventually, her eyes on her shoes.
"If only it were that easy," I said in my head.
"What?" she asked curiously. After a pause, I realized with horror that I'd said it out loud.
"Nothing."
"It's not nothing, it's something. What? Come on, you can tell me," she begged.
"It might not be his," I admitted, turning away.
"What are you talking about?" she asked, coming around to face me. She should have been furious, but she trusted, somehow, that I hadn't done something stupid.
"Mark Delaurier. He came over to work on a science report and I was in the shower so he went to my room and waited for me to get out and then I got back, all wet and towel wrapped, and I sat on my bed and I discovered he'd been going through my underwear and then he locked the door and then… and then…" I couldn't speak through my tears.
"Oh God. Oh my Lord. Oh Sweetie, why didn't you guys tell me?" she asked softly, putting her arms around me.
"Because I didn't tell him!" I managed to cry in anguish.
"Why not?"
"I couldn't. He'd kill me."
"He wouldn't, he'd kill Mark. How could he be mad at you? You're the victim! It isn't your fault!" she said.
"It's a little bit my fault. If I'd been more careful, if I hadn't lied to Sawyer about having Mark over for the weekend, if I'd discouraged him more…" I sobbed.
"Not at all! He raped you! It's his fault! If he's a pervert and insane, it's not in any way your fault! If you said no, you're not to blame," she said passionately.
"You sound… well versed," I pointed out.
"We're not going in to that. You have to tell him," she told me again.
"I've tried. Honestly. It's just…"
"No! If this baby isn't his, he has to know!" she cried.
"It's not a baby. I can't be…"
"Denial doesn't work like that. Trust me, I've tried," she said dryly.
I dropped her off at her house before driving back to the beach. Our own home was dark-Sawyer wasn't home.
I fed Sallie and stroked her before dropping onto my bed and doing what I'd been doing most often-worrying.
Author's note: I received the following anonymous review:
I don't really like Lucy, but she is a good character because she will cause drama.
So here's a spoilerish: don't worry, you should hate Lucy. And you're going to hate her a lot more before the end. Which, by the way, is in approximately ten chapters.
And the star is a quote from Gilmore Girls.
