AUTHORS NOTE a present from me to you- cause I haven't updated in AGES! I have given you an EXTRA long, EXTRA sad chapter!
Enjoy!
"I just don't know what to do" Jessie sighed into the phone.
On the other end, Katie, who had been listening patiently to her girlfriends drained emotions, sighed aswell; "Baby, it's going to be alright……….Lily just wants to help………" she tried soothing.
"I know she does………..but, she can be so controlling sometimes! And, it's like this is HER sweet sixteen……..I'm just the loser at the head of the table!" Jessie sighed again, and waited to hear Katie's comforting voice.
Katie let out a small laugh; "So why don't you tell her?" Katie asked.
"Tell her what? That I think all her ideas are stupid, and pointless cause I don't even want a party in the first place?" Jessie asked wearily.
Katie laughed again, "well, a little more eloquently than that- but yeah! Let her know how you feel………" Katie urged.
Jessie was silent for a moment, "No, I cant do that- this means a lot to her………like she really wants to make this great for me……… I know she's just trying so hard to be the good step mother and best friend……..and it'll all be over in 4 weeks……so I'll just let her go ahead with the stupid party!" Jessie sighed.
"Ok sweety, you know best" Katie gave in, mockingly.
"Shut up-" Jessie laughed.
Katie's husky laugh soon died down, "so, I'll come get you at 7:00 tonight, right?" Katie asked, happily.
"Yep, 7:00!" Jessie repeated.
"Ok, I have to go………I love you babe!" Katie spoke softly.
"Love you more!" Jessie replied, and pressed the dial off button on the phone.
Grace turned around, examining herself from all angles- a vain habit she wished she could stop.
Her black pants, and long-sleeved, v-neck baby blue top went perfectly- topped off with Jessie's pointed, small heel black shoes.
Her hair, which had grown out a fair bit-, hung loosely past her shoulders, in free ringlet curls, which made her face appear softer.
And finally, a tinge of pink blush, curled black eyelashes, and a smear of soft red lipstick finished off her beautiful look.
She looked down at her wristwatch, it was 5:00, and Ayden wasn't coming until 6:30.
"So, where are you off to tonight?" Rick asked, as he met Eli in the lounge room, channel surfing.
Eli looked up at his father, excuses running through his head; "I'll call someone and see what's on……..might catch a movie………or just stay home" Eli turned back to the television.
Rick nodded, "Sounds like fun" he said, in a flat voice- and walked away, into the kitchen.
"Yeah- fun!" Eli said to himself, sarcastically.
"Grace can I borrow a-"
Grace turned away from her computer screen and stared sternly at Zoe- who had just invaded her room without knocking.
"What?" Grace asked, when Zoe didn't continue speaking.
"You actually look pretty!" Zoe said, a little surprised.
Grace sighed angrily, "that's not so hard to believe!".
Zoe let out a small laugh, "it kinda is………" she retorted.
Grace frowned, "get out!" she yelled.
"Can I borrow you're-" Zoe tried again.
"Out!" Grace barked.
Zoe continued to laugh, but left Grace in peace.
Zoe pushed Eli's foot off the couch, and nuzzled her way into the small space beside him.
Eli huffed, and gradually positioned his body to make way for the invading Zoe- "Change channel" Zoe commanded, staring blankly at the basketball game Eli was watching.
"Wait till half time" Eli mumbled, tightening his grip on the remote.
"Oh!" Zoe groaned, as she slumped back on the couch, folded her arms and icily watched the game.
"Is it half time yet?" she asked, 2 minutes later.
"No Zoe!" Eli replied, etching further away from her as she bought her feet onto the couch.
"Move over some more" she asked, digging her foot into his back.
Eli did as he was told, hoping she'd eventually be quiet.
"Eli! I have no room!" Zoe moaned.
He huffed and turned to her, breaking away from the game, "Zoe! You're a midget! How much room do you want?" he asked angrily.
Eli received another blow to his back, he cried out and stared at Zoe angrily; "watch it!" he said sharply.
Zoe shrugged, "well, move over!" she answered, simply.
Eli rubbed his back, "go bug you're sister or something!" he moaned, feeling his back stiffen.
Zoe shrugged again, "already did that- she kicked me out of her room!"
"Sounds understandable" Eli muttered- and felt Zoe's foot press against his back again.
"Zoe!" he yelled out again.
"I can't go and annoy Grace- she's getting ready for her date!" Zoe sighed.
ELI of course she is………her date with Mr. Wonderful Ayden!
Eli looked down at the remote in his hands, then back at Zoe.
"Here" he said, handing it over to her.
"Where are you going?" Zoe asked, though she wasn't really concentrating- as she flicked the t.v into CNN.
Eli got up, and started walking towards the stairs.
"Well somebody needs to bug Grace" he muttered; knowing that Zoe had lost all interest and wouldn't put a great deal of thought into his words.
"OK" she said, losing concentration.
"Come in!" Grace called out, as she turned off her computer.
She spun around, and found Eli's face poking through her door.
GRACE great……..
"Err………hey" Eli stepped through her door, closing it softly behind him.
"What do you want?" Grace asked, cringing as she heard she cynicism
in her voice.
Eli turned back, his face emotionless as he stared at Grace; trying hard not to notice how beautiful she looked………
Eli shook his head slowly, "sorry, I'll go" he whispered finally, and turned to reach for the door handle again.
"No- don't go" Grace whispered back, in the softest breath;
"What did you want?" she asked, urging him to turn back- he finally did- but his face was still guarded with a bleak emotion.
"I thought we could talk," he said slowly.
GRACE talking is the last thing I need………
Grace looked down at her hands, and then back to Eli, realizing no lights were on in her room- as she could hardly see his face.
"Sure" she whispered, and rose from her chair, striding over to her bedside table, she flicked her small lamp on; which supplied a soft glowing light.
"But, I'm leaving at 6:30………" Grace added, turning back to face Eli- he stood, slightly slouched, with his hands dug deeply into his pocket, looking down solemnly at his feet.
He looked tragically handsome.
Grace breathed out, and blinked her eyes; she took a seat on her bed, and nodded at her desk for Eli to sit on her swivel chair.
"Thanks" he breathed, as he slowly sat down.
They both looked away, waiting for the other to speak first……….
"Ayden really is a great guy" Eli broke in.
Grace nodded, "He is" she replied softly.
"And……..that's what makes this so hard……….cause I don't want to, you know, hurt him or anything……….cause I don't have anything against him………" Eli added.
"Of course" Grace nodded again, and turned to Eli, who was rubbing his hands together slowly.
"And I know you really like him……….and you guys have a good thing going………"
"We do" Grace supplied; though her answer seemed lifeless.
"But……….Grace……….." Eli looked up, surprised to see her eyes already on him.
"I kissed you………."
She looked away again, just as Eli knew she would………
"And you kissed me………hard as that is for you to recount………you kissed me for whatever reason………and I'm not complaining or anything………I'll gladly take any affection that you throw at me………but the thing is………. I need to know where we stand!"
GRACE so do I.
Grace looked back at Eli, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips.
"What?" Eli asked; noticing the small laugh lines emerging.
Grace looked down; "where we stand…….." she repeated.
Eli said nothing.
Grace looked back at him; "we are stepbrother and stepsister…….." she started, looking at him pointedly; her laughter gone now.
She stood slowly, but remained on the other side of the room.
"That's all we will ever be……..all we can be……and as for me kissing you……..that was just an outburst……..a regrettable outburst that I'd give anything to take back!"
ELI don't……..
"I know you don't mean that!" Eli looked into her eyes; searching for something to tell him her words weren't true………
"You don't know anything Eli!" Grace retorted, keeping her voice level.
"No, Grace…….. I felt……….." Eli stopped, not wanting to share what whimsical notions he had of the two of them with Grace; not when she was like this……..so adamant to hide her feelings.
"What? You felt something?" Grace asked, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.
Eli looked away, feeling his eyes begin to sting.
"I'm sorry for whatever misleading feelings I conjured up inside of you Eli……..but that kiss meant nothing!"
Eli stood, and Grace silenced herself; she saw the pain in his eyes, and knew she shouldn't have gone so far……..
GRACE please walk away!
"Yes! I felt something! And every day since and before then I've been feeling something………every time I look at you, when I catch you staring at me……….when you speak, or just when you're in the same room as me!" Eli was pushing back the tears, and trying hard to lower his voice;
"You told me that I left you with nothing……that a kiss doesn't tell you anything………well I think it does! I think I poured myself into that kiss…….. I held you in my arms and kissed you like I've never kissed anyone before………..!" He felt a single tear escape, but still, he went on, ignoring Grace's pained, wide eyes.
"Now you can stand there, and talk to me in that goddam hard btch tone of your's, and tell me that it meant nothing……..tell me how completely perfect and happy you are with Ayden……….but I know………when I kissed you, and when YOU kissed ME………I know what I felt……….because I'd been dying to feel it for so long………!" he took deep, rapid breaths, exhausted from his words; and now, with nothing left to say; he and Grace stood, facing one another……….with no words that could explain how either of them felt.
GRACE I know.
ELI please……..let her know!
Grace felt her eyes begin to sting; but continued to stare into Eli's……….
"I'm sorry," she finally breathed.
GRACE I don't want to do this.
"I'm sorry for whatever you thought you felt……and for how you wanted me to feel………."
Eli wanted her to stop right there; but she went on………still with a mask on her face, hiding her true feelings.
"………I am with Ayden………and while you think this has everything to do with you and me……..it doesn't……….because I am WITH Ayden……..and I think………."
ELI please don't.
"…………..I think I might be falling in love with him………."
ELI (holds his head in his hands)
GRACE (looking into camera, turns away)
Eli looked away; glad for the silence now, as Grace couldn't think of what else to say.
"I know why you're pushing me away Grace………" He spoke, softly
"You have to know Eli……. I don't choose you……….I choose Ayden………"
"You're pushing me away because you don't want to feel what you're feeling for me!"
"I choose Ayden!" Grace repeated, hoping it would stop Eli's words.
"I cant give up" He ended.
Grace looked into his eyes; "I-choose-Ayden" she said, sternly.
Eli nodded once, and opened his mouth, about to say more, when the doorbell rang.
"GRACE! AYDEN'S HERE!" Zoe yelled from downstairs.
Grace and Eli continued to stare; until finally, Grace moved away……..and left the room.
"Goodbye Eli" she said over her shoulder, and he heard her soft steps down the stairs.
