Day 3000
Past couple months have been happy happy happy. My uncle loves me, my uncle's court loves me, and I love me. And the weather's been pretty nice for Britannia.
One of the barons has a really attractive wife. Am heading over there to canoodle.
Later
Oops. Interrupted my uncle while he was canoodling with the fair matron. Now he's angry at me. Well, it's not my fault that she likes me better than him. I have been practicing my canoodling skills, after all, and I am just a darned gorgeous knight. Ladies love me.
But now my uncle is slightly angry at me. He's glaring at me. I hope he knows that that expression is bad for his face -- it's starting to stay that way.
Then, of course, is the small fact that the fair matron is married.
Well, if my uncle doesn't care, then neither do I.
Day 3001
Today, milady sent her dwarf to me to work out a rendezvous. With milady, not with the dwarf. We're to "have an assignation" tomorrow night. Tee hee.
Day 3003
"Assignation" went very well. It was quite fun.
However, there were some complications. On the way to the "assignation" (tee hee), was ambushed by Uncle Markie and co. Whupped some trusted knightly butt. 'Twas fun. But then I bled all over milady's sheets. Oops. Milady's hubby found out and rode after me. He called me a false knight. Geez. So I false-knighted him. Mr. Milady fainted. Tee hee.
Day 3005
"The Incident" has been tacitly forgotten. Mr. Milady too scared to face me.
Day 3010
Sir Launcelot's cousin came and kidnapped milady, because my stupid uncle let him choose a "paramour," just 'cause he's a knight of the Round Table. Rode off to rescue milady, because the knight kicked hubby's armored behind.
And it had been a while since my last fight. I wanted some conditioning!
Couldn't find the one knight, but I found two others of the Round Table (what they're doing in Cornwall beats me...) and whupped them, even though they said that Cornish knights "lack all valor." I beat both of them at once, and then they begged my forgiveness and tried to hang out with me. I always knew I was one cool knight. I didn't let them tag along, though. Didn't want to have to worry about a fan club.
Met up with the paramour-napping knight (Sir Bleobris - what a name!). He also insulted Cornish knights. Why Cornwall? Can't they think of some good Devon knight jokes?
Anyway, we fought for two hours or so. It was a really good workout. You should try it sometime, Fair Journal. We tied, so we stopped for a water break and chatted. Despite the Cornwall jokes, Sir B. seemed all right, and he was Launcelot's cousin, so I decided to stop fighting him. What would I say to my hero if I killed his cousin?
Then we decided to let milady choose which hunka burnin' knighthood she liked best. That ()& chose the other guy! Just because I let her hubby try to rescue her first. So we took her to an abbey with her hubby and then went home. She deserves him. Stupid ()&.
Day 3014
Have been sent to bring Iseult the Fair to be Markie's wife. I must'ave talked too much about how pretty she is. Dang it. Am a little sheepish about having forgotten her for milady the ()&, but I hope she still likes me.
Day 3016
My ship-thing has been driven ashore. Stupid storm. But we chose the right shore-- right next to Camelot. This is gonna be fun.
Later
This is prime jousting country. I've been here for fifteen minutes and I've already beaten Sir Ector, Sir Morganoure, and Sir Breuse Sans Pité. And it's even cooler, because every time I beat one of them, they go berserk when they find out that I'm from Cornwall. Take that, Round Table! Bwa ha.
Day 3017
My mission is almost accomplished - I've found my in! Iseult's daddy is in town (Camelot), and he needs help. He needs a champion to fight for him. That would be me. So I fight for him, help him out a bit, y'know. Then he won't be able to refuse us, that is, Unkie Mark, his daughter!
This would be more exciting if I got to marry the damsel.
Day 3018
Fought challenge, won, yada yada. Beat Sir Blamoure, spared his life knightlyly. Then Sir B kissed me. It was weird and gross, but then I always knew I was attractive. And Sir Launcelot likes me now. Go me!
Day 3020
Am in Ireland, with my - erm, my uncle's bonnie Irish rose. She still loves me, and man, do I love her. Still, she's to be my uncle's. Geez, this stinks.
Day 3021
On boat ride to England, drank love potion with Iseult. Now we like each other even more, and we still can't get married. Dang it.
Day 3022
When we reached Corwall, we were randomly locked up in a dungeon. Tomorrow my bonny Irish rose will be "judged," and I'll have to fight for my life. Doesn't this seem just a little random?
Well, I updated. This has been the first for how many months?
Maybe I'll update some more this summer.
