The Guise of Apathy
By: Rachel Elizabeth

This was no sweet kiss of promise for a girl who had never been kissed; it was a kiss of force, of fervor. His lips demanded more than Kagome could even comprehend, he nipped, he rubbed, and he pounded his lips on hers.

Sesshoumaru took complete control of the situation and with his hand grabbed her waist and rolled her under him. Her neck strained to meet his lips and he was pleased.

He was pleased that the possessed had become the possessor.

As expected, everything was falling into place.

The first trial had been hurdled and, as expected, he was the winner.

His plans never failed.

Of complex paradoxes

Kagome started; she was more frightened by the intenseness of the kiss than of actually being in Sesshoumaru's arms. She had never imagined herself in the position that she found herself currently. Sesshoumaru was not one to let his feelings show so easily and Kagome idly wondered if it was because she had recently pushed him to his limits with her demands. However, nothing had prepared her for the assaulting sensations that stirred deep within her with a simple kiss.

Unintentionally, she compared Inu Yasha's kiss with that of his brothers. The foremost difference between the two was the force with which Sesshoumaru applied and Inu Yasha who put a gentler, sweeter tone to their first kiss. Kagome reprimanded herself, what did she mean 'first'? She was certainly not implying that Sesshoumaru was going to take liberties as he had done tonight again. Kagome didn't know what kind of game he thought that he was pulling, but no one pulled the wool over Kagome's eyes. She had a little brother; she thought herself all knowing and all seeing, very little could get past her keen ey—

"Mmph!" Sesshoumaru had unintentionally—was that really an accident?—grabbed at her waist to stay her and had 'unintentionally' put his good hand under her shirt, effectively holding her in place. The warmth that came from his hand was strangely—nothing about this situation was anything but strange—comforting in response to his ferocious kiss. Kagome gasped for breath. "Your sword is digging into my side, thank you."

Sesshoumaru merely watched her lips move to form the words and tilted his head slightly to acknowledge the mess that she called language and frowned, "I do not carry a sword in my own castle."

Kagome's eyes rounded. "B-but, you're a dog! That's an improbability! Seriously . . . oh, Kami." Kagome shifted her weight only to realize that his weight, however, was not going to shift with her.

"I think you speak too much. You are much more pleasant when you are terrified."

"Pshaw. That's only because you like to terrorize me, you beast," Kagome spat, eyeing Sesshoumaru coldly.

"If you would stop shifting your weight thus I could remove myself from your enchanting presence," Sesshoumaru muttered coldly. Ah, good ole Sesshoumaru is back. That other man frightens me, Kagome thought bitterly.

"I'll give you enchanting you callous son of—"

"I am leaving." With that and without so much as a glance back towards her, Sesshoumaru had slowly walked out of the room, shutting the door quietly. Leave it to Sesshoumaru to leave one in the dark of his plans. However, more importantly . . . what was that kiss? Kagome lifted her hand to touch her mouth and frowned. Her lips were still moist from where he had licked at them and she cringed. Inu Yasha was not going to like the situation he would find her in.

Kagome muttered something unintelligible in the dark and scooted herself across the hallway. She was hungry, agitated and the only thing she reconcile herself with was the thought that Inu Yasha was going to murder Sesshoumaru. Not that I particularly want him dead, because I don't. No, seriously, I don't really want him dead. Not that I have that much faith in the other dog but—

Kagome reprimanded herself. Now she had taken to the habit of talking to herself, and she wondered silently what would be next on the list of grievances against Sesshoumaru. Arrogant dog. Someone obviously needed to put him in his place because he blatantly thought that he was undefeatable. Bah. I could beat him at a history quiz in less than three minutes. That is, if he even knew that he, himself was ancient history. Kagome realized for the first time in days that Sesshoumaru didn't even know that she came from a completely different time. Kagome frowned. Well, it wasn't as if there had been a particularly right time to inform him that she was a time traveling human. Ah, well. Sooner or later the truth would come out, and really, it couldn't possibly be that big of a deal to Sesshoumaru. Besides, he had everything he ever wanted here, right?

"You test my patience."

Kagome rolled her eyes. "Am I supposed to be scared of a little toad? Look, buster, I don't know why you follow me around all the time, but I am surely sick of it. I would appreciate it if you would leave me alone. I am hungry, which is why I had wandered out of my room in the first place. I don't suppose you think I'm dumb enough to try and escape again, do you?" Kagome stopped Jaken. "On second thought, hold your thoughts for someone who cares what you think." Yet still, Jaken followed silently behind Kagome and she stopped. "Do you not understand Japanese? Go away." However, Kagome did not bother to turn around and still, he followed.

Kagome had had it; all she wanted was some food, she was hungry and she really wasn't idiotic enough to try and escape Sesshoumaru's castle again. She was human, she learned from her mistakes. Kagome swung around with one of her arms in the air, and had it been Jaken standing behind her she would have hit his face. However, it was not Jaken that was standing behind her and, instead of hitting a small toad on the face, she hit the edge of Rin's ear. Kagome gasped. "Oh, Rin, honey, I am so sorry. Oh geez. I am such a klutz. Oh man. I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"

Rin grinned at Kagome, "Rin is fine. Kagome-sama barely hit my ear. I pushed Jaken-sama out of the way. His face puffed up and was all icky-looking." Kagome laughed. There was something endearing about this child that she could barely place in her mind, but it was there none the less. "Rin is also hungry."

"Of course you are; you're a growing girl. Would you like me to make you something?" Kagome asked, thinking that the only thing that she really knew how to make was over a stove and instant. Perhaps she could pretend that she knew how to cook.

However, at Kagome's thoughts, her face gave away her dubious look and Rin grinned. "Rin would love some of Mia's Oden."

Kagome's stomach growled in concurrence. Kagome reached her hand out to the child and Rin put her hand in Kagome's as they walked silently down the hallway. Jaken still following closely behind them.

Close by, Sesshoumaru listened closely to their conversation in the hallway from his library. He briefly wondered if bringing home the obnoxious girl was having any effect on Rin and decided that any effect that the human had on Rin had to have some sort of welcome outcome. Putting Rin with someone of her own species was probably something the girl had needed since her parents had died; he had just not had time to pick someone for her. He had had enough to worry about with the other wench lately, anyway, and had thought of nothing else except that annoying girl. She was like a plague; at first one did not notice the little things that she did to purposely annoy one, but then as she grew on one and she became an object of distaste to where he—one—started to notice every little thing that she did and how every bit of it was obnoxious.

What was that attitude that she carried?

Women were generally silent in his presence and barely spoke if even at all. He had learned to accept this long ago and if women were not obedient and docile then he had little time for them. This was a category that Kagome fit into perfectly; he doubted very seriously that she knew what the words docile and obedient meant. Sesshoumaru thought briefly that he would like to teach her a little obedience and he frowned. The wench was invading his thoughts. His privacy was being overtaken by a girl with wit and intelligence and he found himself amused. Perhaps she had drugged him when he had kissed her, perhaps with some foreign elixir.

He had had his whole plan figured out until that wench figured into the play. Now he had had to back-track just to come up with another plan that was suitable to destroy his brother. He had figured, at first, that by marking Kagome she would know her place, and he would not have to worry about her any longer, and then he could peaceably fight Inu Yasha without the wench interfering. However, after he had bitten her, he had realized that it would take much more than a simple mark to make her realize just exactly what was going on, so instead he had bitten lightly on her, intentionally leaving his scent all over her. It was the only way; the wench had to realize what that meant. She had to smell him on herself when she slept, even if she was human. However, with that act he had cast himself into a hole; he realized that he did not want to stop with just a bite. He wanted to kiss her senseless until she shut her mouth and realized what exactly she was in for.

It would not be so.

He would not let the situation get that out of control. He could barely stand to hear her bitch and moan now about the bite—and she called that a kiss, as if he would kiss a human!—far be it for him to take anything further and her ranting become incessant. The paradox that came with that thought, however, was that the more he was around her, the more he wanted his scent to stink on her. At that thought, he slowly got out of his chair and went to his window. The wench was taking up far too much of his free time.

Kagome sensed his presence before Jaken and thought that perhaps she had been in this castle too long if she was noticing the small things about Sesshoumaru. However, before she could utter a word, a hand was clamped over her mouth and she was dragged away, Jaken looking on absentmindedly, trying to pry Rin's attention off of the scene.

"It does not seem as if my brother cares too much for you."

Kagome snarled under her breath at him. "I don't know what you mean."

Sesshoumaru tilted his head at the snarl and said only, "I would have thought that he would have come sooner for you if you meant so much to him that he travels with you by day."

Kagome stopped. Sesshoumaru was right, it had been a little over a month and a half since she had been here and she had seen neither hide nor hare of Inu Yasha. She had wondered if perhaps he wasn't going to come at all, but she wouldn't tell Sesshoumaru that. Arrogant dog."Well, he does have a baby kitsune with him, a monk and a taiji-ya."

Sesshoumaru acknowledged her words silently and said nothing.

Kagome hated his silence. It meant he was thinking. Kami forbid arrogant dogs think. The world had to have some justice to it, right?

"Perhaps."

Perhaps? That was it? Kagome was vaguely surprised that he had not scoffed at her, and vaguely surprised that she had had exactly twenty words with the brute that did not include ranting at him. After all his jabbering and the only thing he could say now was 'perhaps'? Well, she couldn't expect to have a decent conversation with him. She got more out of her conversations with Rin than she did with the brute. He had never really spoken to her as a person and this conversation was probably as close as she was going to get to any sort of real conversation. And to think that it had been about his brother. Gee, imagine that.

"You are perplexed. Again. This is becoming somewhat of a habit for you," Sesshoumaru muttered, annoyed.

"Well, I just don't appreciate being grabbed and manhandled all the time," Kagome spat, her face infusing with color. What had he said that made her cheeks so hot?

"You did not seem to mind it so much when I was on top of you."

Had he just said that? Kagome wondered. No way, now I know that this is a dream. There is no way in hell that the dog would bring up what we had done. He hates me. Well, she would let this play out and see how long it took her to wake up. "I was surprised. Do not think for one minute that I would allow that to happen again." If she was in a dream she could easily outmaneuver him, right?

Sesshoumaru looked at her annoyed and spat, "If I wanted it to be so, it would. Do not test my patience, girl."

Kagome only rolled her eyes. Perhaps she was pushing this dream too much, but even if she was, the dog deserved every word that she lashed out at him. "I'm not even attracted to you, but that probably doesn't even matter to you, does it? You probably always get what you want, no matter what the circumstances or the consequences, right?"

"You are a bad liar."

"Is that all you have to say, Mr. High and Mighty?" she mocked him with a sour look on her face "'You are a bad liar', oh please, give me a break. You can't tell when I lie or not. There's no way in hell that I could ever be attracted to someone who is so incapable of being loved and loving in return. That is exactly why I love Inu Yasha."

"And yet, you are not attracted to him as you are to this, Sesshoumaru. I wonder why that is," he looked smug. Too smug. Perhaps this dream was getting a little bit out of hand. She had to grasp back the conversation while she still could.

"Oh please. I could never be attracted to you. Period. Okay, so, I'd like to wake up now," and Kagome pinched herself. Hard. Hard enough to leave a bruise and she yelped.

"So that is why you are so free with your words. You believe that you are dreaming."

"Well, I know I'm dreaming, nimwad. There is no way I'd have a conversation with you that was this long and this involved. Besides, I'm way too annoyed with you in real life to sit down with you and actually say more than five words in one sentence." And so, Kagome pinched herself again, but only ended up with the bruise on her arm becoming darker and hot to the touch. Something was very wrong.

Sesshoumaru looked at her coldly. "You are not dreaming and you are deluding yourself if you think that you are not attracted to me, the bite yesterday proved that to me."

Kagome rolled her eyes. What was with her lately? That was all that she had been doing recently. "What bite? That was a kiss. And a very bad kiss, which proves right there that I am not attracted to you."

Sesshoumaru leapt out of his seat. "There is a distinct difference in a kiss and what I did to you. Let me prove all three right now for you." Before Kagome had a chance to react, Sesshoumaru had grabbed her and threw her on the floor, his face mere inches from hers. Uncharacteristically, Sesshoumaru smirked above her and stated, "I can smell your arousal, Kagome."

Kagome struggled, "My abject hate for you must be mistaken for attraction."

Sesshoumaru growled, "You are like a bitch in heat. You want to hurt me and have my litter. This is normal behavior for a bitch."

Kagome gasped, "In your dreams, buster!"

"And like all bitches, you deny what you feel. Now tell me, human, does this feel like a dream to you?" Sesshoumaru raised an inquisitive brow.

"Kami, it better be." The conversation had become completely out of hand. Sesshoumaru was sitting on top of her, his hand gently placed on her chest, pushing her into the floor. His smell was intoxicating to Kagome, and she wondered how much longer she could deny her attraction to him. Forever. This is ridiculous! I have no attraction to this arrogant dog who has no feelings, Kagome thought irrationally. And even if she did decide to acknowledge it, she knew that she would rather die than tell him so.

He smelled her arousal, it was stronger than he had expected and he was oddly pleased. Instead of contemplating this more, he told her, "I will show you the difference between a bite and a kiss."

Before he had even a chance to stop her, Kagome had slinked her way halfway underneath him to escape. Sesshoumaru glared down at the girl as she tried to make her way under him. She had obviously lost her touch as well as her senses if she thought that she could so easily outmaneuver him. She moved about halfway under him before he caught her with his good hand and dragged her up by the rim of her shirt—was that a shirt? He had nary a chance to glance at her attire before today with all her ranting, and really, what sort of female went about wearing something so . . . unfeminine. Oddly enough, however, the shirt seemed to fit her and her personality. "What are you clothed in?"

"Eh?"

"This attire. Why do you insist on something so unfeminine?" Kagome laughed. She couldn't help it; he sounded so serious about the conversation and they were only talking about her clothing.

"It's my school uniform, I am forced to wear this unfeminine piece of clothing," Kagome didn't even feel like elaborating on what exactly a school was, but by his bored expression, she bet that he didn't care too much to know either way.

"Perhaps your manner would change if your attire did so, also."

"Fat chance."

"You speak riddles, wench."

Kagome rolled her eyes. What is it with this dork? He thinks he can change my whole personality by putting me in some fancy clothes? As if I'm so shallow. Though it is odd to hear him speak about my clothes and not my smell as Inu Yasha had stated the first day we had met. Perhaps my . . . scent isn't so unappealing after all. To each his own, I suppose. "Putting some pretty clothes on me like your dress-up doll is not going to change my attitude. I am not that shallow."

"Perhaps," and instead of elaborating on that statement, Sesshoumaru merely whispered again, "I will now show you the difference, you impudent wench."

Kagome stopped. She wasn't pausing because she didn't know what he was talking about, she paused because she felt herself start to automatically acquiesce and it worried her. Perhaps being in Sesshoumaru's presence had had a weird effect on her affections. I love Inu Yasha!

Sesshoumaru growled. "Do not speak of that name here, wench. My brother is not a welcome topic in my house." Kagome hadn't realized she had spoken aloud. "I will tell you one thing, however, my brother will no longer want you . . . as a mate." He looked at her through narrowed eyes, he assessed her, made her feel her worth to him. His look told her that the brief moments of banter and companionship had meant nothing to him. As if to drag her down into an endless pit he added, "You are markedfilthy. If you should belong to anyone or love anyone, it can be no one but me. You should feel honored that I have marked you so, lowly human." Without so much as a glance back towards her, he stormed from the room, his feet echoing loudly on the floor, his anger clear in his words and his steps.

Kagome spoke no words, she felt angry and miserable in one breath. 'No longer want you' . . . 'no longer want you' . . . 'no longer' . . . 'want you—as a mate.' Contemplation would be the death of her, along with the mark that would not disappear with time or cleanliness.

A/N

Six and a quarter's worth of pages, but yet, I have to wonder, throughout all that time was it worth it? To wait for six pages? Hmm…well, anyway, the chapter is completed and I promise the next won't take so long 'cause I'm about to go on Christmas break and have a ton of time to write. Yay? Look for To Disregard is to Err to be updated next, however and then Since Then. I apologize for the lateness of this chapter. I love you all.