GRACE you can do this………….it just requires………..some amount of courage.
Grace smiled, a sweet, innocent smile- trying to cover the raging nerves that were building inside her stomach as she walked closer and closer to the table Ayden was sitting at.
She dug her fingers into the strap of her backpack that was weighing on her shoulders- but continued to smile, even though she could feel everyone's eyes on her, as she inched forward, closer and closer to Ayden- now only a few steps away.
GRACE too bad I lack any amounts of courage!
His back was turned as he shared a joke with Scott, who was sitting opposite him- Scott looked up and stared at Grace for a moment- eventually Ayden turned around to see what was holding his friends gaze.
Grace and Ayden connected eyes, but only for a second before Ayden flinched and turned away- and Grace's smile dropped.
"Hey Grace!" Scott half smiled- Grace was surprised, and could only muster a friendly nod, as she regained her plastered smile.
There was silence for a moment- as Scott studied Ayden's face, waiting for his friend to invite his girlfriend to sit down.
Scott's hazel eyes looked back at Grace with a raised eyebrow, but his lips were still curved in a friendly smile.
"So sit down Grace…………." Scott urged, motioning to the spot next to Ayden.
Ayden's head quickly lifted and stared at his friend coldly, Scott stared right back- his face perplexed- then he looked at Grace again, and back to Ayden.
His face finally registered.
"I just remembered, I have to study for a science test……….or something………." Scott muttered, gathering the contents of his lunch tray.
He hurriedly scrambled to his feet, and turned to Grace "nice seeing you" he smiled, flicking one of his golden curls out of his face; he walked away, leaving Ayden and Grace alone.
Grace watched as Scott left, then looked down at Ayden's turned, hunched back.
She took one deep, exhausting breath, and sidled up next to him- making sure there was a gap of room between them.
Ayden didn't even flinch as she took up a seat next to him.
GRACE courage……….
"He doesn't know?" Grace finally inquired, as she looked down at her hands and started fiddling with the silver ring she wore on her thumb.
"Who?" Ayden replied icily.
Grace sighed, "Scott……….he's you're best friend……….and you didn't tell him?"
Ayden turned and looked at Grace, "what's to tell?" he asked, almost suspiciously.
Grace stared back at him, creasing her brow slightly as she thought through her answer; "I………….I………….don't know………..that we have…………." She allowed her unfinished sentence to linger.
"Broken up?" Ayden supplied, quickly and quietly.
Grace bowed her head, "so we have?" she asked.
Ayden turned away, reaching over the table for his un-opened pepsi can- "I don't know" he muttered, as he popped it open.
"Well neither do I!" Grace spat back, unintentionally rude.
Ayden took a small sip, and turned back to Grace, narrowing his eyes.
"What do you expect me to say Grace?" he asked slowly, as if talking to a child.
"Well……….do you want us to be over?" Grace finally asked, taking a short breath.
Ayden turned away again, taking a longer sip this time.
"I don't think that's up to me……………"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Grace spat back.
"It means………….you're the one calling the shots" Ayden said, calmly.
"What! Excuse me Ayden………….but that's not fair………….I mean, you've probably told the entire school about what a two-timing slut I am, and you say I'm calling the shots? When you're the one that has the upper hand………….because I'm the one that betrayed you?" Grace's mouth suddenly tasted bitter.
Ayden turned to her, keeping his voice low and husky- "do you think I would seriously do that to you?"
Grace turned away, ashamed by her outburst- "well I don't know……….but it feels as though everyone in this whole goddam school is staring at me……….accusing me……….."
"Your paranoid!" Ayden said calmly.
Grace was silent for a moment, as she studied Ayden's profile- "I suppose I am" she agreed, and after those words came a long silence, before Ayden spoke again.
"Look Grace…………I know you probably thought that by telling me the truth you were sparing me some huge heartache further down the track……….but in all honesty, I wish you'd kept that little piece of information to yourself……….about not loving me………cause right now I'm hurting real bad" Ayden turned to her, studied her soft pink lips, and her lowered eyes.
"And to be perfectly honest……….I don't know where you and I stand at the moment……….all I know is………..you hurt me………."
Grace couldn't take it any more; "I'm sorry Ayden……….you have to believe me………….I never meant to, but it was eating away at me………!" she exclaimed.
Ayden raised his hand, and Grace fell silent.
"Maybe I could handle it if you didn't love me because you weren't ready………….but the fact that someone else is involved………that you love someone else………."
"No! I don't love this person………..it's just…………."
"The fact that they are returning feelings makes you doubt 'us'……….?" Ayden finished for her, without looking into her eyes.
"Yes" she squeaked.
"Look Grace……………I still love you………." Ayden finally whispered.
Grace looked up, a small smile on her face.
"But I don't want you to say those words back to me………if you don't mean them"
"It's just………..love is such a strong word………" Grace muttered, looking deeply into Ayden's eyes.
"Yeah, especially when you mean it" Ayden replied- "and I cant be with you until I trust you again, and I don't know how long that will be" Ayden added.
Grace's smile vanished.
"I better go" Ayden whispered.
He turned, about to rise from his seat; but before he did, he turned back to Grace, and leaned in.
She took a small breath and closed her eyes, waiting to feel his familiar lips caress hers.
But all she felt were his warm lips press lightly against her cheek- she opened her eyes, and stared into Ayden's as he pulled away- got up from his seat, and walked away………..the school bell echoing with him as he left.
GRACE courage and a little bit of truth is all I need.
Eli watched as Jessie approached his car- he noticed her eyes were narrowed, and, if he was mistake, even a little watery.
She grabbed at the door handle and flung the door open- Eli turned around, ready to scold his sister, but silenced himself when he saw her eyes were indeed puffy and glazed.
She slid in, and angrily slammed the door behind her- sullenly crossing her arms over her chest; she pursed her lips and sat quietly- ignoring her brother's stare.
Eli turned back, and saw Grace walking towards them- her arms crossed and head bowed.
He sighed.
ELI this is going to be a long car ride home……….
Grace grimly sided into the car, next to Jessie, who was forced to move down a seat.
"Ok………." Eli whispered quietly to himself as he got the car started.
ELI definitely a long trip home………
Eli looked in the rear view mirror at both girls with brooding faces.
"Either of you want to share what's on you're mind?" he asked, cautiously.
"Just keep driving!" Jessie hissed, as she turned and looked out the window.
Grace did the same, ignoring Eli's question.
GRACE its you're fault I'm in this mess anyway……….
"What about you Grace?" Eli asked, as he flipped his indicator on, he looked in the rear view mirror- slightly frightened to see Grace's narrowed eyes staring right back at him.
"Not particularly!" she said, icily.
"Ok………….two angry, female teenagers………….I can put two and two together………" Eli said smugly.
Jessie and Grace both turned and looked at each other, and then both averted their eyes to Eli, both flashing him a deadly stare.
"Shut up!" they both said in unison.
Eli fidgeted in his seat, and nodded his head once.
"Alright then" he said, in the smallest voice.
