The Courtship of Dogs and Men In Miniskirts.
Summary: Ed and Al meet another alchemist. Mustang is trying to woo Hawkeye, but everything keeps going wrong. And who's wearing a miniskirt and why?
Chapter 4: Salute Your Shorts.
Hey! Yeah, it's been a long time since I've updated, but I had other stuff I needed to do. Please forgive me. Well, here ya go with chapter 4.
Disclaimer: I don't own Full Metal Alchemist or any of its characters.
The Office.
Havoc and Mustang can be seen running through the halls of the building.
"Where is she?" Roy asked frantically. The two rounded the corner and stopped dead in their tracks when they came face to face with The Fuhrer. Roy's eyes widened as the Fuhrer cleared his throat and looked at the man up and down, "Sorry sir, but we're in a hurry," he said quickly.
"Yes well…" The Fuhrer began, but was cut off when Roy began speaking again.
"Don't worry sir, as soon as we find Lieutenant Hawkeye, we'll loose the skirts," Roy assured his superior as he waved his hands defensively.
The Fuhrer looked at him and laughed a bit, though he didn't say a word. Havoc gave the man an odd look and tilted his head slightly. He looked down at Roy's legs, then back up at the Fuhrer, but quickly did a double take.
"Uh, colonel sir," Havoc said slowly, his eyes widening. Mustang looked over his shoulder and gave the man an irritated look, "I think we already did," he whined as he pointed to where he was staring.
Mustang gave him an odd look, "What?" he asked confused before looking down. His eyes became as wide as the lieutenant's. They both had forgotten that they removed the skirts when they got the call that their pants were coming. The afore mentioned skirts are currently lying in the middle of the floor of the office, meaning, the two men are currently standing in the hall…in front of The Fuhrer…without pants. Mustang slowly lifted his head and looked at The Fuhrer, who had his hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter, "I…uh…oh crap," Roy whined before looking at Havoc, "That woman will die a slow, painful, death," he ordered.
Havoc nodded with agreement and the two continued their run down the hallway.
Our Little Alchemist.
Ed can be seen sitting on the curb outside of the doctor's office. Al is behind him, pacing back and forth in front of the door. Ed sighed as he placed his head in his hand.
"How long does it take for a simple checkup?" Ed asked irritably as he picked up a stick and began to draw in the dirt in front of him.
Al stopped and looked down at him, "Brother, aren't you concerned?" he asked slowly.
Ed sighed once more, "Yeah I guess," he groaned before they heard his stomach growl. Ed looked down at it and placed his hand on it, "But I'm more concerned about lunch," he confessed.
Al shook his head before continuing his pacing. They have both been sitting outside for nearly an hour, and they were getting very worried…or Al was anyway. The door slowly opened and Winry emerged from the building. Al stopped his pacing and walked up to her. Ed got up off the curb and walked up to her as well.
"Is she ok?" Al asked concerned, there was a bit of hope in his voice.
Winry smiled up at him, "Yeah, the doctor said she'll be fine," she assured the young man. She looked up at him, curiosity in her eyes. She opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off by the sound of Ed's stomach. She turned her head and gave him an odd look. His mouth was wide open, he had his hand on his stomach, and he was slouched over slightly, all in all, he didn't look too good. "Are you ok?" she asked slowly, "You don't look too good."
"Ugh," was all Ed could manage to say.
"I think he's hungry," Al said, seeing how his brother couldn't.
Just then, Winry's stomach began to rumble as well, "I guess we could both use a little food," she said as she looked down at her gut. She rubbed it with one hand, "Um…why don't we go get something to eat. Al, you stay here with Alley," she suggested.
A large smile spread across Ed's face, "Yes!" he yelled excitedly before jumping in the air.
He turned around and began running down the sidewalk. Winry and Al watched Ed's sudden burst of energy with wide, curious eyes.
"Now he can talk," Winry said irritably as she threw her hands in the air. She broke her gaze from Ed and looked to Al, "She's in the second room on the left," she informed him. She noticed that he still seemed a bit concerned, so she gave him a comforting smile, "Don't worry, she'll be fine," she assured the young boy.
Al looked at her and nodded before entering the doctor's office.
"Um…hello?" Al asked as he knocked on the door and slowly entered the room. "Alley?" he whispered, still hoping this was the right room. Alley was lying on the bed, next to the wall. She was lying on her back with her hands on her stomach…sound asleep. Al noticed this and went blue; he realized that he couldn't have woken her up with all the noise he was making. He slowly made his way over to the chair next to the bed and sat down. He looked down at the sleeping girl, "You scared us," he whispered. He wanted to talk to her, but not wake her up, "I've never seen someone as blue as you were," he continued. He looked down and noticed that her color was much better now. He sat and watched her sleep for a moment, he sorta wished she was awake, but he was happy to see she was comfortable. "Winry said that you're ok now. I'm glad because…you're really a nice person. If you would just open up to people more, I'm sure that they would notice it too," he informed her.
"Strange…isn't it?" a female voice asked.
Al nearly screamed and jumped out of his seat, "Did I wake you?" he asked concerned as he went blue, again, and looked down at Alley.
"No, it was me silly," the voice was heard again. Al turned around and saw Winry and Ed standing in the doorway, they both had bags in their hands, "She's an ice alchemist and she got pneumonia," Winry laughed a little before entering the room, closing the door behind her.
Al laughed a bit as well, "That was fast," he commented, seeing how they only left twenty minutes ago.
Yes, it took Al nearly fifteen minutes to find Alley's room. When he came in, there were two hallways. He went to the second room to the left in the left hallway, but all he found was some old man getting a sponge bath. It took him nearly ten minutes to stand and apologize for trespassing.
"Yeah, we wanted to hurry and get back," Winry replied as she looked to Alley hopefully, "I guess she hasn't woken up yet," she said slowly, her smile fading.
Al looked at Alley and shook his head, "Not yet," he replied with a sigh.
Ed looked at Al, "It's alright, she'll be fine," he assured him as he sat the bag on the table and unloaded food from it.
Winry nodded with agreement before walking over and setting her bag down as well. Al hung his head slightly before turning and looking back down at Alley. Winry and Ed sat down and began to eat. The sound of food containers being opened and the bags rustling was all that was heard in the, otherwise, silent room.
Back At The Office.
Roy and Havoc stopped and leaned on the wall as they tried to catch their breath. There were other men and woman walking by, pointing and laughing at them.
"This…is…crazy," Havoc managed to spit out, taking a deep breath before every word, "We've been…chasing that maniac…forever. Everyone's seen…us in our…boxers at this point. So…I vote…we not worry about…being embarrassed…anymore," he spit out, though it was not easy.
Roy was having an equally hard time breathing, "Yes…but that's not…the point…(cough)…lieutenant," he said slowly before leaning his head on the hand that was on the wall. He took a few more deep breaths before trying to speak again, "The point is…she can't get…the best…(cough)…of us."
Havoc laughed a bit, "Ha, you complain…about how much I…smoke. I'm not the one…coughing," he said as he pointed at Roy and laughed some more.
"Shut…up," Roy said bitterly as he waved a hand at the young officer. "This isn't…(cough)…this isn't…(cough)…this isn't…(cough). Aww forget it," he began, but figured it was no use; he could barely talk anyway.
"Well, you boy's don't look very good," Riza said as she walked up and stood next to the two of them. The two officers turned their heads, but didn't let go of the wall. "And, you're white legs need a bit of a tan," she added as she motioned to them.
Roy pushed himself off the wall, spun around, and fell back. He was now leaning on the wall with his back…trying desperately to stay standing.
"Where…are the pants?" He asked, starting slow, but speeding up before he coughed again.
Riza smiled and motioned to the doors down the hall, "Out there," she replied, her smile becoming increasingly wicked with every word.
Havoc spun around and leaned his back on the wall as well, "Out there?" he asked as he too pointed to the door, "But that leads outside," he said frantically.
"Yup," Riza said with a nod, "Please, allow me to escort you," she requested.
Roy and Havoc gave her a dirty look before pushing themselves off the wall and waddling to the end of the hallway.
They stepped outside the doors and looked around, "So, where are they?" Roy asked, his patience wearing very thin.
Riza walked up and stood behind his right shoulder, "Over there sir," she said as she pointed up.
Havoc and Roy slowly looked up and saw their pants hanging from the top of the flagpole, "Oh no," Havoc whined before smacking his forehead.
Roy sighed and hung his head, "Haven't you ever heard that cruel and unusual punishment, is illegal?" he asked, not looking at Riza.
Riza's smile widened, "No, sir," she replied simply. She patted both men on the back, "Good luck," she said before turning and going back inside.
"Well," Roy smiled before reaching over and slapping Havoc on the back, "Good luck."
Havoc slowly turned his head and looked at the colonel, "Oh, man" he whined before walking up to the flagpole.
Full Metal.
The three can still be seen in that room. Al is still sitting next to the bed, Ed in leaning back in the chair with his feet on the table, and Winry is on the other side of the table with her head rested in her arms, asleep.
"Uh," Alley moaned as she moved a bit. Al quickly looked over at her and Ed took his feet off the table and walked to his brother's side. Alley slowly opened her eyes and looked up at the two of them, "Wha?" she asked confused.
"Are you ok?" Al asked quickly, his voice full of concern and wonder.
Alley slowly lifted her arm and rubbed her head, "Yeah, I think so," she said slowly, her voice quiet. "I'm a bit tired though and I have a bit of a headache," she groaned. She looked between the two of them questionably, "Where's the ditzy blonde?" she asked slowly.
Al and Ed laughed a bit, "Still asleep," Ed said as he motioned to Winry. Alley leaned up a bit and smiled at the sight of her. "So, are you ok?" Ed asked, letting his concern show a bit.
Alley looked at him and gave him a weak smile, "I said I was fine, I'm just a little tired," she replied, before coughing a bit.
Al stood up and Ed ran right to her side, "Alley?" Al asked concerned.
Alley laughed a bit at their reaction, "You two need a hobby," she joked. "I was just coughing, you do that when you're sick," she laughed.
Al sat down and Ed backed up, "Yeah, we knew that," he said, tying to regain his cool exterior.
"Maybe you should sleep," Al suggested, "You did say you were tired," he reminded the young girl.
"Yeah, but I just did a whole lot of sleeping. I'm done for a little while," Alley replied, though she was flattered by Al's concern, "So tell me, what brings you to town like this?" she asked, seeing how this town wasn't exactly a 'hot spot'.
"Another great automail shop," Ed groaned irritably as he gave Winry a dirty look.
"Oh, I get it," Alley nodded, "You're girlfriend has a thing for automail and she made you bring her here," she guessed.
Ed looked down at her, his eyes filled with fire, "SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!" he yelled. His reaction was similar to the one he has when people call him short, "SHE'S JUST SOME ANNOYING GIRL WHO FOLLOWS US AROUND!" he continued to rant.
"Um…Brother," Al said weakly, "You might want to lower your voice before you wake her up," he suggested before motioning to Winry.
"NO! I'M SICK OF PEOPLE THINKING SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND!" Ed continued. He didn't see Winry sitting up and rubbing sleep from her eyes, "I DON'T EVEN WANT HER HERE!"
"Um, Brother…" Al began again as he motioned to the angry blonde who was now crossing the room, an anger cross on her head.
"AND ANOTHER THING…" Ed continued his yelling, but was cut off when Winry's hand collided with the back of his head.
"Lower your voice or you'll wake her up!" the blonde ordered bitterly. Ed grabbed his head and rubbed it. Winry looked down at Alley and noticed she was awake, "You did wake her up!" she yelled before hitting him again.
"No," Alley said weakly, "He didn't wake me, I was already up," she assured the young girl.
Winry gave her a questionable look, "Hmm," she thought for a moment, "Though I don't believe you, I guess I'll drop the subject," she said as she crossed her arms over her chest.
"Thank you," Alley nodded.
"So," Al said, trying to change the subject, "Not that it is any of our business, but with the really good automail shop and everything, why don't you upgrade?" he asked confused as he motioned to the young girl's arm.
Alley looked down and laughed a bit, "Well, I don't really have the money," she said, apparently not ashamed.
"Oh," Al said, a little ashamed that he even asked, "I'm sorry."
Alley smiled at him, "It's fine. I've had this automail since I was ten, so I've learned how to adjust," she assured him.
"I really wish you would let me fix it for you," Winry pleaded, though she knew it wasn't any use.
Alley shook her head, "I don't like getting charity. I can take care of myself," she informed her, though the thought of new automail was nice.
Winry sighed, "Well, can't your parents help you get the money?" she asked, this was her last hope.
Alley's eyes widened and her jaw dropped a bit, "Uh…" was the only thing that escaped her throat. She closed her eyes and hung her head, "I don't have any parents," she said slowly, this is what she was ashamed of.
Al, Winry, and Ed looked a bit ashamed themselves. The poor girl just woke up and they had already managed to upset her.
"S-sorry," Winry said slowly, "I didn't mean too bring bad memories," she said apologetically as she hung her head.
"To tell you the truth," Al chimed in, "Brother and I lost our mom and we don't know where our dad is," he said, trying to let her know that she wasn't alone.
"And Winry's parents are gone too," Ed added.
Alley looked up at all of them, "I'm sorry," she apologized before a smile spread across her face, "But now I'm really glad I met you," she said excitedly.
The three gave her an odd look, "What?" Winry asked confused, not seeing how any of this was a good thing.
"Well," Alley said as she looked down at her hands, "I always thought I was alone, you know, that nobody could possibly feel the pain I'm feeling. But now I've met you and all three of you know how I feel. I don't feel so alone anymore," she said as she closed her eyes.
Winry smiled a little, "Really?" she asked, a slight twinkle in her eyes.
Alley looked up at her and smiled, "Really," she nodded, the same twinkle in her eyes.
The two stared at each other for a moment, happy that they found someone who knew their pain.
"So, what did happen to your parents?" Ed asked, trying to break the awkward silence.
Alley looked at him and blinked, the smile fading from her face.
(FLASHBACK)
I was about ten when I had my accident.
A young, black hair, green-eyed girl is seen holding a woman's hand as the two walk the streets of the city.
I was walking home with my mom, when I saw a puppy in the window across the street.
The young girl tugged on the woman's arm and pointed across the street. The woman knelt down next to her and smiled, "Not now sweet heart, maybe tomorrow," she said. She kissed the girl on the forehead before standing up and continuing their walk.
'Not now sweet heart, maybe tomorrow' is what she told me everyday for the next week. I never understood why. We were a wealthy family and we could afford fifty puppies if we wanted too, but she never changed what she said. One afternoon, I looked over at that window…but the puppy wasn't there.
The girl looked to the window and smiled, but it quickly faded when she didn't see the puppy.
I wanted to know where it went, but I was nine and I don't think the shopkeeper would have told me. So, I kept my mouth shut and I continued on my way. When we reached my house, my friends and family jumped out and screamed 'surprise'. I was surprised. My birthday wasn't until the day after. The best part was when my dad walked up and handed me that puppy.
The little girl's eyes grew wide when a man knelt in front of her and handed her the puppy. She took the dog in her arms and it licked her face as she laughed.
That puppy and me were inseparable for the two months I had him. I remember the day it happened. I had went to my dad and asked him if I could walk my puppy all by myself. My dad said yes, but my mom said no. The two argued, but came to an agreement.
The young girl is seen walking down the street. She has the leash in hand. Her parents were walking a few feet behind her, holding hands.
I remember that moment like it was yesterday. My mom noticed something in the window of the store and told my dad to take a look. She told me to stay where I was and not move, but the puppy didn't agree with that. Across the street there was another dog. My puppy pulled on the leash as he struggled to get to it. I held on as tight as I could, but the leash slipped through my fingers. I looked to where my parents were, but they had gone in the store to get what my mother had shown my father. I couldn't let him get away, so I ran after him.
The little girl turned around and saw her parents through the window of the store. She looked back at the puppy, worry in her eyes. She looked down the street and saw a car coming. "Move puppy!" she yelled, but the puppy sat in the middle of the road and stared at the dog on the other side. The little girl saw how close the car was coming, so she ran into the street to save the dog. The dog moved out of the way, but the girl couldn't.
The screeching of the brakes hurt my ears.
The young girl covered her ears with her hands as the car tried to stop.
I don't…remember anything after that.
The parents walked out of the store with a bag in the mother's hand. She screamed and dropped the bag and the site she saw. He little girl was lying in the road…behind the car. She wasn't conscious and her arm and leg were barely hanging on.
I woke up in my bedroom. Mom was crying in a chair next to my bed and my dad was leaning on the doorframe smoking.
"Mommy," the little girl whined. The woman looked at her and gasped, "Alley," she said in disbelief before leaning down and hugging her. The girl returned the hug, but her eyes widened at what she saw next…her arm.
It was the weirdest thing I'd ever seen. My arm was made of metal. I pulled away from my mother and asked her what happened. My dad told me about the accident. Heh, then he tried to make me feel better by telling me that it was the finest automail money could buy. I asked where my puppy was…
"We put it to sleep," the man replied as he slowly approached the end of the bed, "That thing was too dangerous anyway," he said as his cigarette bobbed in his mouth.
After that day, I spent a lot of time in my room…secluded from all other forms of life. I didn't want people to see me. I would stay up late at night and listen to my parents talk in the room next to mine. My dad talked about getting a doctor to examine my head and my mom would say things like…'She needs friends, money can buy that right?' or 'Maybe it's a faze, she'll grow out of it'. I guess I didn't though. It was about two months before my eleventh birthday when I heard my dad on the phone with a coworker…or something. I never found out who he was talking too. He said something about his job…and something about money. I don't really remember. All I know is that night; my dad told my mom we were broke.
The little girl can be seen with her ear to the wall as she listened to them talk.
I guess I should have been a bit more curious when my parents said we were going on vacation. I didn't understand how we could go on vacation if we didn't have any money. Well, to make a short vacation shorter, I'll skip all of the useless info. I'll put it to you this way, the three of us checked into the hotel the night before my birthday, but when I woke up the next morning, I was alone.
Crumby, I know, but now that all this is over the chapters will get a lot better. Please bear with me.
I can't respond to reviewers right now. Sorry, but I have to get this posted on three sites in less than fifteen minutes. Bye for now.
ILoveMyGojyo.
