Estel the hope of Men was not feeling very much like a prophesied king at the moment. He was tied up to some hard wall, and he was feeling very groggy and headachy. That infernal light wasn't helping it much either. He opened his eyes fully and closed them again at the bright, dratted light.

Strider opened his eyes very slowly and was relieved to find that the golden light didn't blind him. He looked around and blinked in astonishment.

Little people were sitting, standing, and arguing in various places around the circular cave – no, it was more like a burrow. Or a barrow. The golden light was coming from the little firefly creatures, but the reason the light was so bright was because of the gold. It covered the walls and the floor and it was piled up in great heaps everywhere. In fact, the only place that any earth could be seen was on a few spots on the ceiling where the ornately carved mirrors covering it were chipped away or had fallen off.

He tried to focus on the people. They were smaller than hobbits, a foot tall, and dressed kind of like wood elves, very small wood elves. He looked to his sides. To the left there was one of the Halflings, in fact the one that he dimly remembered tracking at some time, and to his right there was a dwarf that he recognized.

"Gimli!" he shouted in surprise. The echoes of his voice reverberated off the walls, causing all the little folk to quiet and stare at him.

The dwarf, who had been unconscious, woke up very suddenly and looked towards the place where the voice came from. "Strider!"

The human and the dwarf stared at each other and simultaneously asked, "What are you doing here?"

Gimli coughed rather self-consciously. "Was that you in the tunnel?"

"Tunnel? Oh, yes, the tunnel. I think so. But what are you doing here?"

"Well, my father was visiting Baggins, you know, that hobbit I told you about."

"Oh. Would Baggins be the one – "

"Battle of the Five Armies, burglar, various things like dragons and spiders and orcs and wood elves."

"Ah. I was looking for him."

"Why?"

"Oh – well, just – "

"What?"

"Just nothing."

"You wouldn't be seeking a hobbit for nothing. I swear, they can talk all day, except when they're eating."

"I've heard."

A small, indignant voice came from the left of Aragorn. "We do not talk and eat all day!"

Thorongil winced. "I beg your pardon master hobbit, I was only saying I heard," he defended himself. "In fact as I believe it was master Gimli here who insulted you – "

Gimli frowned. "There you go blaming me again. Just like that time with the goblins – "

"Well that was because I – "

" – and those slavers – "

"That was necessary – "

" – and the other goblins – "

"What other goblins?"

"The ones at the pass, remember?"

"I did not blame you for anything then!"

"Yes you did!"

Elessar had probably had as many mishaps with Gimli as with Legolas, and he didn't want the dwarf quoting them all in an attempt to make Estel look bad. "Now look, dwarf, the only times I ever blamed you for anything was – well, they were only a few times!"

"If you could call that many times a few! Must have picked it up form associating with those elves. Not that I have anything against Lord Elrond, but some of those wood elves are – "

"I really wish you would stop insulting them, Gimli. They – "

"They're elves! Nasty elves."

A small laugh came from next to Strider. "You sound like Gollum."

Gimli said, very slowly and clearly, "What did you say?"

Merry decided that it wasn't such a good idea to get the dwarf mad. "Um – it's just the nasty thing. Y' know, nasty hobbits, nasty Baggins, nasty Pale Face and nasty Yellow Face, nasty goblins – "

Gimli glared at him as best he could. "I am nothing like Gollum! And how do you know about him anyway?"

"Oh, I know Mister Baggins. He told us the story."

"Hmm."

"Do you come from the Lonely Mountain?"

"Yes."

Merry was about to reply when Aragorn cleared his throat. "Um, I have a feeling we really shouldn't be chatting right now, considering as we're tied up and everything."

Gimli thought about that. "Right. What are these things, anyway?"

At that the creatures that Gimli was referring to showed a mixture of shock, anger, and comtempt on their faces. One of the more ornately garbed ones cleared his throat and stepped forward. "We would take it very kindly," the little person squeaked, " if you would not insult us by calling us things."

Thorongil nodded. "All right. What should we term you as?"

"We are elves."

Merry frowned. "What?"

"We are! We are not myth or legend, we – "

Elessar coughed. "Um, that wasn't what he meant."

The little person turned his frosty glare to Estel. For a moment Strider wondered if they were indeed elves, and if this one was related to Legolas' father, but then he dismissed that idea. "Well, you see, we have – "

"Have what!"

"A different idea of elves."

The elf's (for lack of a better word) jaw dropped in horrified shock. "A different idea of elves! How – " he staggered about and dropped to the floor in a dead faint.

Aragorn was lost for words. Elves? Elves that were a foot tall? It most certainly didn't make any sense, and now this one had just fainted in front of him. "Um – " he said.

Another elf glared at him. "What sort of idea do you have of elves? Wings? Little tinkly things? Those are fairies! They are our pets! They are class one intelligence level, on the same as dogs, cats, and dwarves! Do you seriously think that – "

Gimli stuttered in utter revulsion. "What? Dogs? Cats? Those – those little tinkly things? Dwarves? Why you little – " he started swearing in dwarvish. Then he continued, "And what class are elves, hmm? Level – "

The elf interrupted him. "We are elves, and we are class one hundred intelligence level. Now if you would kindly – "

Gimli's face turned purple with rage. "For your information we dwarves are very intelligent! I bet you can't even – "

Thorongil interrupted him. "Gimli, please do not make them mad! I beg your pardon, sirs, Gimli has a short temper."

The elf looked slightly mollified. "Ahem. Is that your idea of elves?"

"No, it is not. Our idea of elves is actually more like people the size of humans with pointy ears, really keen senses, really light-footed, and various other things."

The elf snorted. "They sound like a cross between monkeys, wolves, and deer."

"Well, they're not really. But you see, I've met some of them, and – "

"Then they are not elves, they are merely lying! What do they call themselves?"

"Quendi."

"Well, that's what they are, then. Kwuh-end-ee."

"Um – "

"We are the true elves! We are the terrorizers of the countryside! We steal valuables and we make the goats go dry! We waylay humans and make them go mad! We – "

"What?"

"But lately she's been taking all our victims. She nearly took you. We'll give you a deal, human. Defeat Lorelei, and we'll let you go free. If you do not she'll probably kill you. Understand?"

"Wait. Who is Lorelei?"

"She is evil! Go defeat her."

"How is she evil?" queried Elessar.

"She sings!"

"So?"

"Her tune enchants the very soul! She lures people to their deaths!"

"How are we supposed to defeat her?"

"I don't know! Do you accept our offer?"

Merry looked nervous. "Well, I'd like a little more –"

Gimli nodded. "Yes, we do. Show them I'm smarter than a cat –" he muttered.

Suddenly there was a crash. Several of the mirrors broke, tumbling to the ground along with lots of soil and a body. The elves muttered to themselves. "I knew we should have strengthened that – " said one of them.

Merry, however, was staring at the person who was getting up very slowly. "Pippin?" he cried.