Hey, I would like to say thank you to all of the reviews that I have gotten! I really do appreciate it!
Disclaimer: Hey! It's on the first chapter!
By: Pirates n' Swashbucklers!
About: Stargate SG-1
Date Started: 9/17/04 (or 17/9/04 for some people)
Genre: Humor!
Warnings: EXTREME FUNNY! Other than that, none!
Okie people! I really love all the reviews I'm getting! (Never thought I'd get this many . )
So the chapters have been going REALLY slow lately, sorry! . They'll pick up soon, I promise! And I am extremely sorry that I haven't been updating. Mid-term exams and the Math A have stopped me .<!
On with it!
The Day They Were Girls
Chapter 3:
Jack glared at Daniel, and crossed his arms. He fidgeted though, not used to the new cargo that came with his new body. Daniel giggled, but stopped after he realized what he was doing. "Soup it is!" Sam smiled.
Soup!Soup!Soup!Soup!Soup!Soup!Soup!Soup!Soup!Soup!Soup!Soup!Soup!
After much chatting and soup-eating, the trio of girls were sitting on the couch. They had come to the agreement that Sam would call them by 'Sir' in private, but when they were in public, she would refer to them as girls. "Gaaah, my stomach hurts..." Jack whined pitifully. "Where, Sir?" Sam asked slightly concerned. "It's just a stomachache, Carter." He assured her. Sam rolled her eyes, but pressed on. "Where, Sir? You have to remember that you're not a guy anymore. There is this thing in the women world called a 'period.'" She finished saying. Jack looked at her weird. "No way am I having a 'period'!" He sounded offended. Sam rolled her eyes. "Go upstairs and check. The bathroom is the first door on the left." She said, pointing to the stairs. Jack rolled his eyes, and headed up anyway. He was confident that he wasn't having his period.
Sam and Daniel waited to hear from Jack. It had been five minutes now, and not a peep from him. "Maybe it wasn't his-" Daniel was cut off by a scream. Sam jumped up and ran up the stairs (Daniel in close pursuit) as "SAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!" Resounded down the stairwell.
She burst into the bathroom to see Jack just sitting there, somewhat in shock. She shielded her eyes, and said quietly, "Sir, uh..". That was all she could muster. "Carter! You jinxed me!" He said rather loudly. "Sir, shh! The neighbors will hear you." She said, looking at him briefly, before shielding her eyes again. Daniel walked out of the bathroom, not wanting to see any of this go down. "Carter, help would be appreciated." He said sarcastically. "Oh! Right, Sir." She said, rushing over to the cabinet under the sink, and pulling out a bag and a box. "Uh, Tampons or Pads, Sir?" She asked. It was a silly thing to ask, but hey, you never know. "Carter. This isn't helping." He said, making sure that the sheer dislike for this situation dripped off of every word. "Right, beginner...pads.." She said, pulling out a little packet, and threw it to him. "You do know how to out that on, right?" She asked, her back facing him. "Carter." He said warningly. "Right, privacy." She said walking out the door, and shutting it behind her.
Jack stared at her, digging daggers into her skin. "I can't believe that you jinxed me, Carter." He said continually glaring at her. "Sir, I didn't jinx you, it was bound to happen." She tried to reason. Daniel shook his head, signaling to her that this was a loosing cause. Sam sighed, "Sir, why don't you go lay down?" She suggested, mostly to get the complaining Colonel out of the room. "I don't want to-Gahhhh." He said, clutching his stomach. "It huuuurts." He whined in his new high pitch voice. "Welcome to the world of cramps, sir." Sam said with more cruelty then she had meant to. Jack merely glared at her intensely, "Do you have anything that could help?" He asked miserably. Carter smiled in sympathy. "Yeah, I have Advil Ò, would that be okay?" She asked. He nodded over exaggerating the pain. Daniel rolled his eyes and shook his head. Sam gave him the glass of water and the two tablets.
"I don't think that I am going to have enough pads for everyone, Sir." She informed him. "Okay, so...lets go get some." Daniel said to her plainly. "Sir, I can't leave you here." Jack opened his mouth to protest. "General Hammond's orders." She said smartly. Both Jack and Daniel sighed heavily, and got up to go get their coats on.
"Okay guys, first we're going to need to go shopping. I don't think that you want to walk around in those, right?" Sam said, pointing to the military BDUs they were still wearing. Both men-turned-teenage girls nodded in agreement. "Right, so. Off we go." She said, heading into the mall that they were standing outside of. They followed, not really knowing what to expect.
As they entered a clothing store, both 'men' turned and headed off to the men's section. Sam saw this and laughed lightly, and pulled them to where she was. "Guys, your girls, not men anymore." She said, as a few people stared at her as they walked by her. Jack coughed slightly, signaling Sam to shush it. Sam blushed slightly, and nodded. "So where do we go then?" Daniel asked. "To the teen's section of course." Jack answered. For some reason, he thought, Daniel seems like he's...he didn't know how to put it...ditzy. That was the word, ditzy. "Yeah," Sam said oddly, "Off we go then." She finished, leading them into the abyss of teenage female clothing.
"My feet hurt." Daniel whined, sitting down at a set of chairs and a table outside a mini-coffee shop in the mall. Jack and Sam nodded slightly. After about 3 1/2 hours of straight shopping, they all decided to give it a rest and wanted coffee.
"The waitress smiled kindly, and wrote down what they wanted. "Anything else?" She asked politely, but the three of them shook their heads. The waitress smiled again, and walked away.
"Look how many bags we have." Jack said tiredly. Sam nodded, and looked at Daniel, who had apparently dozed off, with his head in his arms resting on the table. She rolled her eyes. Just as that happened two guys, 16 or so, walked over to the table and pulled up two chairs. "Hey." One of them said, scootching his chair closer to Jack. Sam laughed, and excused herself, while the two newcomers looked at her weird as she walked away. The two boys looked over at the 'girls' at the table. Daniel picked up his head, and blinked at them a few times before he put on his glasses. "Hey beautiful, you come here often?" One of them said, apparently trying to sweet talk Jack. Jack had merely looked at the boy, "Not really." He said. The boys noticed the BDUs that they were wearing, "Ah, military. I like it rough." Jack and Daniel nearly gagged. The other boy had already introduced himself to Daniel as Steven and was getting rather close to him. Daniel looked absolutely disgusted. Jack turned back to his own problem. "What do you want?" He asked in a hard tone, seeming not to want to be anywhere near this boy. Which he really didn't, and he bet that if the boy knew that he was really a man, he wouldn't have even noticed him.
The boy looked at him sweetly and answered, "Only to be with you, baby." Jack got up from his chair. "Sorry." He said as he picked his bags. Daniel moved to do the same. The boys stood to meet them, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Can we at least get your numbers?" They bugged them. Jack nearly flew off the handle. "You need to leave us alone." He said with forced calmness. The boy looked at his friend. "Or what?" He asked. "Or I kick your ass." The boy laughed loudly. At this point, most of the people in the Mall were watching the scene take place. "You can try. I'll even let you have a free hit." The boy said, as his lackey laughed. "Good one Jay." Jay smiled. "No." Jack said, knowing fully well that he would get in trouble if he were to hit him first. "That's what I thought." Jay said. Jack scowled as Daniel pulled him away to where Sam was standing. "How the hell do you put up with people like that?" Jack asked Sam as they walked up to her. "Well, I try to avoid them." She smiled.
(AN:) Well, Danny-boy and Jack lived through that one. See what happens to them next! (Support my EVIL by reviewing!)
- Pirates-n-Swashbucklers
