RICK I knew Jessie and Eli were closing themselves off from me…………but I never knew………….. I mean………….never in my mind did I think I would be so completely out of touch with them…………..Jessie especially………….. I just didn't know………….
He heard Lily switch off the bathroom light, and heard her patted footsteps as she headed towards the bed.
He closed his eyes and dug his head further under the blanket, forcing sleep on himself.
Lily looked at him for a moment, as she stood beside the bed in her pink slip, massaging her hands with baby lotion.
She half smiled as she saw one of his eyes twitch, trying to sneak a peek at her.
She flung the covers off, careful not to grab them, because of her oily hands- and climbed into bed, sitting up right, she continued to rub the lotion in.
Rick could hear the soft squelching as Lily's hands turned over and over, massaging the lotion in- after a minute or so, he couldn't take it anymore, and rolled onto his side.
"Want to talk about it?" Lily said, calmly and slowly.
"No" came the weak reply.
"Ok………….but I'll be up for a little while………..if you change you're mind"
"Lil………..it's 2:30 in the morning……….aren't you tired?" Rick sighed; adamant that he wouldn't have a deep and meaningful with Lily tonight………..of all nights!
"I am a little……….but I want to catch up on some reading………so if you do want to talk…………." She let her voice linger.
"I'll be awake" she ended, still rubbing in the lotion.
He sighed again, and forced his eyes shut- but Lily's hands continued to squelch, and they opened again. He lay still for a moment, staring at the clock beside his bed, 2:37.
Shoving the covers off himself, he struggled to sit up, and, when he finally got comfortable and turned to Lily- she was already turned to him, a warm half smiled on her face, encouraging him to speak. He hated how she knew him so well……….and loved it at the same time………..but he guessed Lily knew that.
"I just……….." he started, wearily.
Lily reached her hand out, brushing it softly against his cheek, "bit of a bomb dropped tonight?" she started for him, knowing he couldn't simply launch into a total confession of his feelings without a bit of a kick start from her.
"A bit?" he laughed sarcastically, "it felt like a piano fell on my head……….." he sighed.
"I can imagine……….." she replied.
"No, you really cant!" he snapped back, without meaning it the way it sounded.
But Lily understood, and dismissed his snide tone; "actually Rick………there was a time not so long ago when I thought Grace was……….." she struggled with the final word, "gay" it finally came to her.
Rick nodded, "Oh………. I…………. I guess so" he replied.
Lily nodded; "I was wrong of course………..she was having an affair with her teacher………." Rick turned to her, and she half smiled, "that's much better, isn't it?" she said, sarcastically, and Rick gave the smallest of smiles.
She brought her hand to rest on his neck, and massaged it gently; "You know Rick, Jessie is a great kid………."
"I know, I know!" he sighed.
"She's smart, beautiful, determined, kind…………."
"I know, I know"
"And there are other kids out there who are doing drugs……….. Binge drinking……………going out to parties every night of the week………..having sex and contracting all sorts of STD's……….." Lily continued.
Rick remained silent.
"When you think about it………….Jessie being gay isn't bad at to the other things she COULD be doing!"
"But Lil" Rick shrugged her hand off, and looked deep into her rich eyes.
"I didn't know"
"No-one did"
"Exactly!" he replied, with a sigh.
"Rick………I don't understand………." Lily started.
"I am her father……………. I am the one that held her in my arms the million times she fell off her bike…………. I'm the one who held her hand on the first day of school………….. I'm the one she calls when there's an emergency………….."
"Rick?" Lily brought him back to reality.
"I am supposed to know her inside out………..and I didn't know……….the most important thing in her life………..who she is………and I didn't know!" He sighed, a deep, menacing sigh.
Lily brought her legs up, and hugged them; "she did a very good job of keeping it from everyone"
"I'm not everyone Lil……….. I am her father………." Rick replied.
And Lily had nothing left to say to that; he was right; and suddenly, Lily couldn't offer him any condolences…………..there was nothing to say……….so she turned her light off, and they both lay under the covers, slowly drifting into sleep after what seemed like a decade.
"That was………….."
"I don't want to talk about it"
"Ok"
"I mean it!"
"I know you do!"
"Well………. good"
Karen turned her head and looked out the window, at the houses and trees that went whizzing by; she peered at Henry out of the corner of her eye, as he kept his sight straight ahead, and didn't say a word.
KAREN were there any signs? Something I missed? Did she ever try to tell me? Did I not listen?
Karen sighed, and Henry turned and looked at her for a moment; then veered his eyes back to the road again………..waiting for her.
"Did I miss something?" Karen finally sighed.
"No"
"Well I must have………..because I don't understand how my daughter could go through something so drastic……….and me not notice anything!"
"You were in rehab…………."
"I know"
"After the accident"
"I know!"
"And she did keep it from everyone else aswell………….Rick, Eli, Lily……….."
"I know!" Karen snapped angrily; and Henry went silent again.
She sighed, "I'm sorry………..it's just……….." she searched for words, but only found tears as she felt herself choke up.
Henry took a hand off the wheel, and reached across for her hand, squeezing it lovingly.
"I know," he whispered.
"She's my baby girl and I didn't know………..something so completely huge in her life……….and I did not know!" Karen took in big gulps of breath, trying hard to fight back tears.
"What she must have gone through………..all the confusion……….how scared she must have been……….and she had to go through all that by herself!"
"I think her girlfriend would have helped her" Henry offered; but the word 'girlfriend' made Karen snap her head to the side and look at him curiously.
KAREN Jessie has a 'girlfriend'.
"It sounds like Katie really loves and cares for her……….. I don't think Jess would have gone through it all alone………." Henry continued, and Karen snapped back to reality, nodding meekly.
"But I am her mother………. I could have helped her through all that……….. I should have……….."
"Would you have known what to say?"
"Of course!"
Henry turned his head for a moment, raising an eyebrow, and then turned back to the road.
"Well………. I would have been caught off guard…………….and I may not have been totally helpful…………."
"It's just like a right of passage………." Henry interrupted.
"It was something she had to go through by herself……….and keeping it to herself made her feelings all the more true, and special when she finally let it all out………….after keeping it to close for so long!" Henry ended, and Karen fell silent.
"Karen………..she is still you're daughter……….the only difference is……….she likes girls……….." Henry filled in the silence.
"And, she is just a little bit stronger because of it……….you should be proud…………." he added, and remained silent for the rest of the car trip home, as did Karen.
KAREN I think Jessie should have more counselling sessions…………..(throws hands in air) I just don't know how to handle this……….how do I act………..what do I say to her………..?
AUTHORS NOTE
I just wanted to get the parents point of view about Jessie's 'coming out'; I'd just be fascinated to see their reaction to such a huge development in their child's life!
So, sorry there was no Grace, Jessie or Eli in this chapter; but I wanted to get a totally different point of view.
As always, thanks for the reviews!
