We've now reached the end of another fic. I would've kept you in suspense for another few days, but I'm leaving town for two months and there's no way I would leave you guys hanging until August. Thank you to everyone for the reviews. I'm glad people enjoyed this because it is probably one of my favorites out of everything I've written. And I guess I'll wish you happy reading.
Sami paced the hallway nervously. She had to knock. She knew she had to knock. It was Lucas. He would understand her reaction last night. Then again, there was always the possibility that he would slam the door in her face.
No, he wasn't like that. He would see her side, he almost always had before. Even with such comforting beliefs, her heartbeat was erratic and her mind was too jumbled for coherent thought. Okay, she just had to knock, speak from her heart, and hope for the best.
Sami took a deep breath and raised her hand to knock. It was less than a centimeter from the wood when somehow the bravery she had talked herself into faltered. Maybe he wasn't home. That was possible. It was still only mid-afternoon, about 3:30 by her count.
No, she was not going to talk herself out of talking to him when she had spent so long talking herself into it. For a second she wondered if that thought even made sense. Finally, she blocked off the part of her brain that was thinking and gave three short raps on the door.
…………………………….
Lucas half-heartedly flicked through the channels on the television, then gave up and turned it off. Most days it was a relief to be unemployed. He had time to himself and he usually enjoyed it, but now he felt like he needed a job.
Money wasn't an issue, but it would be nice to have something to occupy his mind. The Horton Foundation barely felt like a job and there was very little busywork he could pull out to distract himself.
Right now, he had too much time to let his mind wander. And inevitably it would wander to Sami, it always did. There was a painful pressure on his chest whenever he thought of her. It brought out the question he was striving to avoid. Why wasn't their love enough for her?
No, he wouldn't think of that. Lucas looked around the room for a distraction, momentarily stopping to look at the door. He could have sworn he heard someone pacing out there. He kept quiet for a moment, but when no other sounds came he dismissed it as his need for a diversion.
Will wasn't even around for him to play with. Not that twelve year olds played anymore, now they 'hung out.' Sometimes he longed for the days when Will was just a toddler, not the whole Sami situation, just the absorbing company of a three year old who wanted to be just like Daddy.
He let himself sink into the fantasy in his mind, but instead of a little brown-haired boy, he saw an adorable little girl. She had her mother's blonde hair and complexion, but his dark brown eyes and smile.
Lucas shook himself out his daydream as soon as he realized that he was imagining Sami and his daughter. The daughter he would never have.
These kinds of thoughts were getting him nowhere. It wasn't like Sami was going to burst through the door and declare her undying love for him in the next minute. Like that would ever happen.
Three short raps on the apartment door interrupted his internal monologue. Silently, he thanked his lucky stars for the disruption. Those kinds of thoughts were dangerous.
He had honestly not been expecting her. Hoping? Yes. Expecting? Not realistically.
"Hey," her voice was soft and apprehensive, "Can I talk to you?"
In her anxious state of mind, Sami almost didn't notice how well his jeans fit him or how amazing he looked in black. Almost, but not quite. She still managed to check him out, even in the most unlikely of situations.
Suddenly, he realized that he was still standing in the way of her entrance. Feeling that it would be safer if he didn't speak right now, Lucas moved out of the doorway. She slid by without meeting his eyes.
Sami was here. She was in his apartment. That was the only fact Lucas's mind could grasp as a breath of perfume captured his senses. He was furious with her, and very hurt, yet he still couldn't seem to resist anything about her.
She sat on his couch as if it were hard as a rock. Her back was rigid and she couldn't get comfortable. She wasn't sure what to do with her hands. She played with her hair nervously for a second, and then switched to picking at a loose thread on her jeans. At last, she realized that she was stalling and resolutely kept her hands folded in her lap.
Lucas, notably, sat on the chair near the couch instead of next to her and held his silence. She was the one who initiated this meeting so it was only right that she started the conversation. She just didn't know where to start.
"I, uh, I guess you're wondering why I'm here," her voice was weak at first, but it built strength as she went, "After the way I reacted last night, I wouldn't be surprised if you never wanted to speak to me again. I've put you through a lot these past couple weeks."
At this point she looked up from her very interesting hands to meets his dark gaze that had never left her face. The welling of tears in her eyes made him a little blurry, but she could tell she had his full attention.
Her hair was falling over her face and his hands were itching to get up and push it behind her shoulders. Resolutely Lucas tempered down the impulse in favor of listening to her speech. It could end up being every thing he'd ever wished to hear Sami say.
"I don't know if I can justify my actions to you. Especially when I'm only now realizing the reasoning behind them because of Julie. All I can say is that I honestly thought what I was doing was for the best. I really believed that I was protecting the three of us."
Without realizing it, he had gotten up from his chair and moved to sit next to her on the couch. He handed her a tissue silently and took her hand as encouragement. That seemed to give her courage and she offered him a shaky smile.
"I think the real reason I couldn't get past what happened last winter was because I… I didn't trust you enough to choose me over Kate," the guarded wording around the word trust said it all. That was one issue they'd always had trouble with, "And then, last night you asked me to leave and I was so sure she was going to get to you. I'm sorry for that. I underestimated you and I'll never do that again."
There was that attention to detail again. Her words warmed Lucas to the core. Although he was not entirely sure what she was getting at he had a pretty good idea. At least, he hoped he did.
"What exactly are you saying, Sami?"
It was the first time he'd spoken in all the time they had been sitting together, but his sudden words did not startle her. On the contrary, she felt them as if they were a gently caress and it emboldened her to get to the point.
"I'm saying that I'm ready now. I'm ready to move past it all. I want to fight for us. That is, if you still want me."
A small portion of his mind wanted to make her sweat for a couple minutes, the way she had made him worry. It wanted to give her a little piece of the torture he had experienced, but the rational part of him knew that she had suffered, too.
As Lucas wrestled with the angel and the devil on his shoulders, she was becoming increasingly nervous. What if he laughed her out of the apartment building? She wouldn't be able to stand it. Or worse, he could feel sorry for her. The last thing she wanted was his pity. She had to get away.
Her movement dragged him out of his thoughts and he caught her wrist before she could step away from the couch. He stood to meet her eyes before she could chicken out any further, "Of course I still want you. I'll always want you. I love you."
Sami's happy gasp was followed by her declaration of, "I love you, too." Which was quickly followed as what could only be described as the most perfect kiss of her life. It wasn't until they were breathless that their lips parted.
Lucas kept their foreheads touching and his arms around her body as the words formulated in his mind and came out of his mouth, "Marry me?
It came out as a moan-slash-whisper and it took her a second to recognize what he had said. She pulled away to look in his eyes, searching for sincerity, "What?"
"I want you to marry me. Tonight. I know this is a big leap of faith, but…"
"Lets do it. Lets get married." She couldn't wait for him to finish his sentence.
"Really? You mean that?"
"I've never meant anything more in my life."
She moved back in joyfully to seal the deal with a kiss, and then her mind began to plan.
"We need to go get Will, then we should call a Justice of the Peace."
"There's something we have to do first. Where's your ring?"
"It's in my jewelry box."
"Good," suavely he brought her hand up to his mouth and pressed a gentle kiss on top, "First, I want to slip it back on your finger, then we can do anything you want."
Sami felt her eyes tearing up again and she felt the intense need to hug him. She followed her instincts and instantly found the reassurance that she sought. This was indeed real. No one in the world deserved to be this happy.
Lucas kissed her head, he would never tire of touching her, and pulled her closer, "We can do it this time. I know we can."
This time she believed him. They could do anything together.
