Lie In The Sound
Chapter 9: Daughter of the Sands
Gippal watched over his crew as they worked on a massive airship engine. His old eye patch covered his right eye. His skin was still as tan as it had always been, but for some reason, it had taken on a harsher sheen. A light stubble covered his chin, his entire stance weary. At a close glance, one would be able to see the dark circles beneath his eyes. Anyone who'd known Gippal when he was younger would remember him as spirited and energetic. Anyone who saw him now would see only an exhausted shell of the promising young man, a flower that had begun to shrivel, no longer a blooming bud.
In a gruff voice, he called out to one of the new workers. "Watch it! Don't forget to put all the screws back in, kid, that's how we lose money."
The young man nodded hesitantly and went back to work as Gippal shook his head. Suddenly, he felt a little tug at his shirt hem. He turned to see a little blonde girl, her hair messy from the desert wind. "Daddy!" She jumped at him, her arms outstretched, and his tired eyes brightened slightly. He grinned widely and picked her up, squeezing her tight.
"Hey, angel… what're you doin' out here, kiddo?" He swung her around in a little circle, making her giggle in delight, before setting the little girl on his hip.
She looked at the workers, the wind blowing her hair into her eyes. Frustrated, she pulled her white blonde strands away from her eyes before pointing to the same new worker Gippal had been watching. "Daddy, he's forgetting to put the bolts on."
Gippal nodded gruffly and leaned his forehead against hers. "I know, sweetie. Want to help me fix it later?"
She nodded with a smile and gave him a hug, which he returned readily. His workers smiled as they saw the man holding his daughter. Only when she was around did he look lively. They liked to see their boss happy… the little girl tended to keep his mind off of their mistakes, which he was much too skilled at catching.
"Grandpa said that everyone needs to come inside. He's not in a good mood, today."
Gippal's expression darkened for a moment. "No one is, today, sweetheart."
Her expression was confused. She jumped out of his arms and took his hand as he called out to the workers and told them to go in. Once the men were gone, the two walked down to the engine. Gippal helped his daughter to screw on the bolts that the worker had forgotten. She liked working with the machina, and he enjoyed watching her as she concentrated on her work. When she finished, she was beaming happily.
As the two made their way over the dunes toward the large building at the main camp on Bikanel, Gippal noticed his daughter's unusual silence. "Something wrong, angel?"
Her little five year old face looked troubled, a rarity. "Vydran… I want to go and see Mommy." Gippal frowned and stopped walking, looking out over the desert distractedly. The little girl waited patiently as he thought.
"I don't know if that's a good idea, honey, it's not something that we do." He pulled a hand through his already disheveled hair, glancing at his daughter, mentally kicking himself when he saw the tears welling up in her bright green eyes.
"But, Daddy! You promised!" she cried out, obviously upset.
"I know I did, but I… I just don't think it's a good idea, sweetie. E's cunno…"
"Aunt Yunie is going to go and see her! Why can't we?" The poor little girl didn't understand. Gippal hated to upset her… even during those first days in the hospital, he'd always hated it when she cried. He knew that she didn't understand, but he also knew that he didn't have the heart to explain it to her. And he didn't have the heart to tell her no.
He'd avoided coming to this place for five long years. He'd promised his daughter that he would take her to visit her mother… the little girl was growing up too fast. She was already smart, and curious, just as she should be. He couldn't shelter her forever, and he couldn't hide away in the sands of Bikanel forever, either.
Both he and the little one were subdued as they walked up the stairs. She held her father's hand tightly, nervous as they reached the top.
Yuna was standing in the corner of the platform. She turned at the sound of footsteps, her eyes wide with shock. "I didn't think you were going to come," she whispered quietly.
Gippal fought to keep his mind blank. "I didn't think I was, either."
"Aunt Yunie!" The little girl hugged her aunt tightly, smiling. Yuna smiled back softly, finger combing the little girl's unruly hair back from her eyes.
"Hey, you! I know we only saw each other last week, but I think you've grown a few inches since then!" The little girl giggled and skipped around. Yuna looked toward Gippal, who hesitated at the entrance. "Are you alright?"
"… no."
"Do you want me to take her?"
He nodded, silently. Yuna turned slowly, looking toward the edge of the platform.
Gippal watched as his daughter looked confusedly at the pyreflies. "When is she going to come, Auntie?" He closed his eyes and rubbed at his temple, wanting to block out the conversation, but knowing that he needed to hear it.
Yuna's calm voice wavered a bit. "Just think about her, sweetie."
"But… I don't remember her. Will it work?" Her voice was so innocent, curious, and pure. Gippal took a few steps toward the entrance, trying to distract himself.
"You won't know unless you try." Suddenly, he couldn't help himself. He turned to watch. Her bright eyes were closed, her little lips set in a line of determination. He knew that expression so well… Rikku had always worn it when he'd teased her or called her 'Cid's girl'.
And then, she was there, clear as day before the three of them. Yuna was silent as she looked back to Gippal, watching as he looked on with a broken expression on his face. He unconsciously removed the eye patch… she'd never liked it.
"Hi, Mama… you're just as pretty as in all the pictures." The little girl's voice was the only sound on the platform. "I'm sorry it took so long for me to come and see you… Daddy wanted to wait."
Gippal took in a deep breath of guilt. Rikku's image in the pyreflies looked in his direction. He looked away. So this is why people stay away from the Farplane… I don't know if that's really her or if she's just a figment of our imaginations…
"I turned five last week! I wish you could have been there, Mama, there was a big cake, and Uncle Tidus taught me how to play blitzball! And Vidina sat on a cactus! I got a lot of presents, too, but… I don't really want any of them. I told Daddy that all I wanted was to come and see you, but he still got me stuff. But he did bring me to see you, today, so I guess its okay."
Yuna stared at Gippal, who looked both transfixed and ashamed. Listening to the one sided conversation was breaking both their hearts, she knew. "I wish you could answer me, Mama, but I know you can't. It's okay, though, don't worry. I don't mind." Rikku's image was frowning now. "I just wanted to come and see you and say I love you and say I'm sorry."
Yuna looked toward the little girl as Rikku shook her head. "Why do you want to tell her you're sorry, sweetie?"
The little girl looked as if she was going to cry. "I want to go home, now." She waved sadly at Rikku's image and walked toward her father. Rikku's eyes followed her, and lingered on Gippal for a moment. Then she looked toward Yuna, who was watching the little blonde. Gippal took his daughter's hand and the two exited the Farplane.
He stopped her at the bottom of the stairs. "Why did you say that you were sorry?"
"… because it's my fault she's not here." The little girl began to cry, and she buried her face in her father's chest.
He hugged her tightly, shaking his head. "No, sweetie, it isn't your fault! Don't you ever think that!"
"But it's true!"
"No, sweetie, it isn't! It isn't anyone's fault!" He began to cry as well, and his daughter looked up at him with her bright green eyes in shock. He only cried when he thought no one was looking, or so she thought.
"Daddy… I want Mommy to come back…" She wrapped her little fist in a handful of his shirt and shook in his grip.
"I do too, honey, I do too…" Gippal held her tightly as they both cried, hating himself for allowing her to think that Rikku's death was her fault.
"No!" I cried out, sitting straight up in the little, uncomfortable cot. My eyes were moist, and my vision blurred. I looked frantically about the dimly lit room. There was a crib in the corner, and an infant was sleeping peacefully inside it. Rikku was breathing steadily on the bed in the center of the room. I watched her for a few moments before I ran my hands through my hair, hugging my knees tightly. I was shaking, I noted. As I wiped at my eyes, I tried to steady my hands. "It was just a dream, Gippal… just a dream…"
But it wasn't just a dream. It was a nightmare. A nightmare that I desperately wanted to stay locked away, a nightmare that I never wanted to come true.
I've had this one planned out for some time. I cried when the little girl cried. (Yes, I have her name… I can't say it, though I'm tired of finding synonyms for little girl or baby.) I hope you all liked it. Thanks very much for your reviews, I greatly appreciate them!
(06.02.05: Jen! Thanks so much for pointing out the last paragraph tense switches… I fixed it. I must admit, I was crying at the end myself as I wrote it, so… I forgot to stay in the first person. However, now it's fixed! Thanks so much, and everyone else, thanks for the reviews so far. You all never seize to amaze me, with how fast you respond to my updates!)
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