Longing to be with you

It's been a while since you left me, Ren. That wouldn't mean that much because I still have to see you every day, except, that you are with him…

Watching you with him only makes me feel stupid, hurt and stupid. We were together so many times and for a while I could have sweared you felt something for me too, but now I know you don't. Silly me. Please forgive me for believing you could get to love me, forgive me for being so naïve, forgive me for feel used, because I was there for you every time, I gave you all of me, and now you left me aside, cause of him. But that was to be expected. You two were together before we met, the best friends, and even when you know he doesn't loves you, you still try to be with him. I feel jealous, cause he gets your attention, your complements but most of all, he gets your love.

Going through the road, watching the window, thinking of the times you spent with me. All we went trough means nothing to you. Now I'm really beginning to know you. My head goes round; I think about it over and over again, I just can't stop picturing you with him, and it hurts me so bad. I know we have no future together, but my heart won't accept it. Stubborn and stupid heart, why wont it let me live without you?

Still I try to survive, but you have become the air I breathe. So near me, and yet so far. I try not to lose hope, in my wildest dreams I imagine someday we will finally be together, for real, but after all it's just a dream. The worst is that you ignore me; you have no idea that is what kills me. At least see me, can't you realize how much I'm suffering? But you pass by my side, with him, as if I wasn't there. So fast did you forget me?

I don't know if I love you, or maybe it's just that I hate you, but I can't live without you. Talk to me, at least insult me or please kill me, cause of love I'm dying. Such agony, I wish it all ends, but it won't. Living half a life without you or not living at all is no different for me. Not having courage to end it, I'll live like this, waiting. Maybe, someday, you'll come back to me.

And so on, as days goes by, I'm still longing to be with you.