To my faithful readers/friends (important): It's funny how life twists you in so many directions. I probably wouldn't be sitting here typing if it wasn't for some kind words and love that changed my life.

Three weeks ago, I tried to end my life by slitting my wrists. I was tired of living a lie, in short. My mother abused me so badly that I truly believed I was the problem; a worthless nothing. She tells me how her life would be better if I weren't around, and beats me until her "tokens of appreciation" are left on my skin, yet deeper in my heart. I gave up, until my friends in real life and the internet told me stay strong. It's a true miracle that I survived; the cut wasn't deep enough to kill me.

After weeks of hospital stay and intensive therapy, I am starting a recovery process. My mother got away with her antics this time, but I know she won't be making to Heaven anytime soon.

Anyway, now you guys know why I haven't been writing. My other family and my therapist encourage me to keep writing, which I plan on doing. I know the road to success will be hard and painful, but surviving this makes me feel like I can do anything. Thank you for your patience, and remember that tomorrow comes. -May peace be with you, Jason

Chapter dedicated to Liz Bukowick, who will one day reach the stars.

Lyricsfrom Goo Goo Dolls's "I'm Still Here"

Fate's Call

Chapter 3: Doubt

Beast Boy was scared. Scared for himself, scared for Raven, scared for the fate that seems to suffocate his mind and heart. He had to break free or he would die here, alone and defeated. "Focus!" he screamed in his mind, letting his heart take control. His teeth gritted in unbearable pain and his body shook in spasms, trying to break the reins.

I am a question to the world
Not an answer to be heard
Or a moment
That's held in your arms

Raven watched in horror and anger, knowing that was nothing she could do. At least, not physically…

"C'mon Garfield, fight it! You're strong! Fight it! Fight it!" she screamed to him, hot tears running down her pale cheeks. She screamed over and over again to the point where she thought her vocal chords would rip in half, butthe empath didn't care.

And what do you think you'd ever say?
I won't listen anyway
You don't know me
And I'll never be what you want me to be

Suddenly, the empath heard a loud snap as the first restraint broke in half. "Yes!" she screamed triumphantly. "Keep going Garfield! You're almost there!" Another snap. Beast Boy broke the barrier around his face and he yelled in pain, his muscles tensing up. A moment later, the last restraint broke, and Beast Boy lay exhausted and beaten on the cold floor of his own mind…

And what do you think you'd understand?
I'm a boy, no, I'm a man
You can't take me
And throw me away

And how can you learn what's never shown?
Yeah, you stand here on your own
They don't know me
Cause I'm not here

Raven tried her powers once again and found she could remove the cage with ease. She fell next to him, breathing rapidly. "Garfield…are you OK?" Beast Boy managed a small smile and nodded. "Yea, I'm-" To her surprise, he stopped in mid-sentence and started to sob. His head fell onto her lap and shook with the force the sobs. Raven could only stare in shock, then reached over and held him in her slender arms.

They stayed like that for a long time, just relieved to have someone there; just to care. Finally, Beast Boy stopped sobbing and looked at Raven with sad, pale-green eyes. "Raven, I almost killed the both of us. Again. I promised you I'd never let that happen." Raven quickly shook her head firmly. "No, Garfield. This isn't your fault. Don't blame-"

"I don't understand why you want to stay with me," he interrupted. "All I do is hurt you. Hurt you to the point where I put you through Hell."

And I want a moment to be real
Wanna touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change?
They're the ones that stay the same
They don't know me
Cause I'm not here

Raven wished she could have said something profound, or least meaningful. She wished they could just move on, just have some forward motion. She wished Garfield Logan could be the funny, wonderful person he really was deep down. But all Raven could do was sit there and try not to lose any sanity she had left. "I...because I believe in you, Gar. Sometimes people just have a feeling...like what they're doing is right. Helping you, well, it feels right." Raven uttered a sound of surprise when Beast Boy hugged her tight, grateful for her presence. She returned the hug awkwardly, wondering if the warmness she felt throughout her body was love. After what seemed like an eternity, Beast Boy broke away, blushing slighty. "Thanks again, Rae." She nodded then looked into his eyes. "Ready to get out of here?" He nodded back. "Oh yeah." Raven closed her eyes and began a chant; midnight blackness swept out of her body and engulfed the two. A blinding flash of light made it impossible to see, then moments later Beast Boy's room came in view.

They can't tell me who to be
Cause I'm not what they see
Yeah, the world is still sleepin while I keep on dreaming for me
And their words are just whispers and lies that I'll never believe

"That was some trip, huh?" Beast Boy said, grinning. Raven forced a small smile and agreed. "Promise me you'll tell me if something like that happens again." The changeling put a hand over his heart. "I swear I will." He stood up and held a hand outto Raven, who took it graciously, and pulled herself up. "Listen, Garfield, I can't tell you how to deal with this, but obviously you know something is wrong. I'll be here for you, but..."

Beast Boy winced at the word "but". What was she trying to say?

...you're a danger to those around you, and yourself." His heart stung with a force that took him aback. "Raven, why would you say that to me? Raven knew she was hurting him, but it was for the best. He HAD to to learn. "Because nobody elsewill, Garfield. I don't...want to see you turn into a person like myself."

Before he had a cance to say anything, the empath turned and walked out of the room with utter quickness. The changeling didn't bother to run after her. He was too hurt and confused to care.

I'm the one now
Cause I'm still here
I'm the one
Cause I'm still here
I'm still here
I'm still here
I'm still here