Lie In The Sound
Chapter 10: Don't Know What To Say
I sat on the floor in the bathroom, leaning back against the cool wall with my eyes closed, breathing deeply. The stone floor was cold, but I didn't care. I was sweating, dizzy, and sick to my stomach. I groaned and coughed, bracing myself as I returned to my position near the toilet.
It was a rarity for me to get violently ill. When I was growing up, the Al Bhed doctors on Bikanel had made sure to administer vaccinations to all the residents of the island to protect from both the desert illnesses and those from the mainland. I rarely was ill, and I usually knew I was getting sick before I began to suffer the effects of the illness. I'd felt fine the day before, and I was absolutely baffled as to why I was so sick, now.
The sickness passed in about an hour, and I hesitantly made my way back into my room to get ready for work.
"Guess what? You're a week old, today!" Tidus was rocking the baby back and forth as Yuna watched in silence. "Such a big girl!"
Yuna gave Tidus a very dry stare. "Who would have known that you would open up around kids? Who could have guessed?"
"I like Vidina…" He shrugged and shook the baby's bottle a bit, bouncing her a bit as she whined. "And this little cutie just makes my heart melt." He grinned at Yuna as he sat back in the chair. "You know I like kids. Hell… I'm just a big kid, myself."
She smiled and shook her head. "Yeah, but still. I never expected you to be this animated around them."
He shook his head and offered the little one her bottle. "Yeah, yeah, eat. I know, you're a growing girl, you need your food." He looked at Yuna and shrugged. "It's better than being reserved and making them nervous."
"True." For the past few days, since Rikku had relapsed into a critical condition, Tidus had been jumping at every chance to spend time with the infant that had presented itself. The night before, he'd even forced Gippal to go to the house and rest while he'd watched the little one and her mother. Lulu had reported that the young man had retreated to his little bedroom in the back of the house, and no one had seen him since.
Yuna regarded him with a strange feeling in her heart as he rocked the little girl back and forth, talking to her quietly. He was absolutely absorbed in the infant, and she found it endearing. "Tidus?" she asked, interrupting his one-sided conversation with the child.
"Yeah?" he asked, not looking up.
"Why are you so involved with the baby? I like it, but… I haven't seen you so consumed by anything since… since Sin." His face darkened as the words left her lips.
"I… I don't know." He was hesitant.
"Yeah, you do. You just don't want to tell me about it." He looked up at her with a guilty look in his eyes. "It's okay. I understand if you don't want to say anything."
"Yuna, I… I was looking forward to this baby being born. I wanted to be kind of like… the father figure, you know?" He looked hesitant as he talked. The baby was sucking on her bottle, oblivious. "Gippal wasn't going to be around, and Rikku is my best friend, so I thought it would be good for her to have someone who was willing to help out. And now, Rikku's not awake, and Gippal is exhausted. I just feel like I need to help. I wish I could do something more than watching her every now and then."
Yuna sighed and nodded. "I can understand that." The two were silent for a long while as they watched the baby. Then, Yuna cocked an eyebrow. "You wanted to be the father figure?"
Tidus blushed visibly. "Yeah. Wakka's mature now that he's all fatherly. It would be nice to be a little more mature, I think."
Yuna began to giggle helplessly. Tidus watched her in shock. "Yuna… what's funny about that!"
She just shook her head and continued to laugh. After a while, he began to laugh as well, until both of them were gasping for breath. When they finally calmed down, they became solemn once more. It was just like being back on the pilgrimage. Laughter was all that could keep them going.
The infant began to vocalize loudly and kicked her little arms and legs around. Tidus held onto her tightly as she made funny little faces. He and Yuna smiled softly at each other and watched her, happy that at least one person could find a bit of unburdened glee during these times.
I crawled up the ladder, climbing toward the top of the tall machina that I'd been working on for the past few days. My mysterious sickness had continued sporadically for the past few days, but I was getting used to it.
I took the wrench off of the little tool shelf that hung near the top, and I leaned over the machina, tightening loose bolts, replacing those that were worn. Nooj's patrol models wore down quickly, what with all the fog that frequented Mushroom Rock Road.
Suddenly, my vision began to swim and I swayed, coming dangerously close to falling off the step. My partner called out in concern as I grabbed onto the machina, holding it tightly in order to steady myself. "Rikku! You okay up there?" I waited for a moment, taking deep breaths before answering.
"I'll be fine…"
I groaned as a stuffed moogle hit me in the face. Light was flooding into my room, and the harbor was already active. I glanced at the sun and rubbed my face, knowing it was already early afternoon. As I sat up in bed, I picked up the little moogle doll and looked toward the foot of the bed.
Little Vidina was sitting on the ground, happily chewing on a wooden block. I shook my head and tossed the little doll back to him before standing and walking to the dresser where I'd thrown my hastily packed clothing.
As I searched for a clean shirt, I felt a small tug on my pants. The little boy had crawled over to me, the moogle doll in hand. I sighed and looked at him for a moment. "What?"
"Daghhyughhh…" the little boy said, tossing the moogle back at me, giggling happily. I shook my head and picked him up, walking slowly back to the bed.
"What are you trying to tell me, hm?" I asked, grinning as Vidina went off into a wild explanation in baby talk. We tossed the little doll back and forth for a long while. I laughed as he took off down the hallway, looking back over his shoulder and yelling.
I followed him down the hall and into the kitchen, chasing him animatedly and making him laugh before picking him up and looking around the room. Lulu sat behind the table, watching me with a smile on her face. Paine was standing in the doorway, an odd expression gracing her features.
I blushed and set the little boy back down on the ground. "I'll play with you some more tonight, okay?"
"Oooohhh…" The little one crawled beneath the table and tugged at his mother's skirt. She grinned up at me and pulled him into her lap.
"You'll do a fine job with that little girl, Gippal." She smiled and began to play with her son. I flushed again and made my way back to my room to change. Paine followed me.
"I don't think I've ever seen you play with him." She sat back on my bed, crossing her arms as she watched me pull clothing out of my dresser.
I shrugged. "I haven't really spent much time with him or Wakka or Lulu. It would've been awkward if I just randomly picked him up and started antagonizing him, before."
She sighed and looked out at the busy port. "I guess so."
I went and sat next to her, following her gaze. "I heard the nurses talking about this tough looking girl who keeps coming in and playing with my daughter. Any idea who that could be?"
Paine's lips curled up a bit, as if she were trying to suppress a smile. "I might have snuck in a few times."
"I don't think I've ever seen you spend time with a little kid, before."
She shrugged. "Vidina and I get along. And spending time with yours makes me feel a little better about Rikku."
The two of us sat in silence for a moment before Paine uncharacteristically gave me a tight hug. "I miss her so much, Gippal…"
I hugged her back, staring out at the harbor as I did so. "I do, too."
Once again, I was on my bathroom floor, my chin resting on my knees. There was a knock on the door, and I ignored it. As the door opened, I desperately hoped that it would be Gippal. We needed to talk… just in case.
One of the other female workers in the temple, a girl named Adena, peeked inside. Her light green eyes were filled with worry. "Rikku… you've been in there for an hour. Are you feeling alright?"
I shook my head. "No…"
"What's wrong?"
"I keep getting dizzy, and I'm getting sick all the time… and…"
She came in and closed the door behind her. Cautiously, she sat beside me and ran her hand comfortingly through my hair. I lifted my head and stared at the opposite wall. "And?"
"E's myda…" I whispered, leaning my head back against the wall. Her eyes widened and she stared at me for a long while, speechless.
Finally, Adena found her words. "Have you talked to him, yet?" Her voice was hushed.
"No… what am I going to say? I don't even know for sure!"
"Well… you could go and visit the Faction doctor and find out! I'll go with you!"
I gave her a sad smile. "Gippal would find out about it… if it's just a scare, then I don't want him to get angry at me for not talking about it. And I'd rather not tell him until I know for sure."
Adena's eyes held a great deal of confusion. "Why? Would he be mad?"
"That's the thing… I don't know." I put my head in my hands again, pushing my hair away from my face. Adena gave me a hug, and I leaned my head on her shoulder, grateful for the comfort.
Wakka sat next to Rikku, looking out at the busy afternoon harbor. Crew members were hurrying to load the last of the day's cargo into the holds. People were waving to those ships that departing for the open seas, bound for the islands or Bevelle and Djose. Down the long walkway to the right of the window, the blitzball stadium stood, casting the usual afternoon shadow over a section of the bay. He looked out into deeper waters as a large red airship landed. "The Celsius…" he muttered, standing and walking to the window.
He watched as an Al Bhed ship went out to the airship, and then returned slowly to the docks. The baby girl begun to fuss in her crib, and Wakka walked over, watching her for a moment before picking her up.
"Your uncle's here to see you, finally. Took him long enough." He shook his head as he glanced back out at the harbor, at the out-of-place airship floating in the bay. "If your mom were awake, they'd start yellin' at each other as soon as he walked in the room…"
He bounced the little girl softly, humming to her to calm her. She cooed at him, making him laugh. "Yeah, I know my singin' isn't great, but at least you like it. Vidina likes it, too, when he isn't bein' a pain." He sat down in the little corner chair and took the little pacifier off the nearby table. As soon as it was offered, the baby began to suck away, her eyebrows furrowing in frustration when she received no reward. "You wanna know what I think? Of course you do, babies are always good listeners. I think that Rikku's gonna wake up, in time. I'm a man of faith, even now. At one point in time, I didn't like your mom, just because she was Al Bhed. She was a friend, she'd never done anything to hurt us… but I just didn't like her because of her people. And when she proved me wrong the first time, I decided to have more faith in her. She's never let me down, since."
Wakka had stayed with Brother for a few moments, as he'd adjusted to seeing his sister in her current state. Then, he'd taken the fussy baby with him into the hall, allowing him some privacy.
Brother was unsure of what to do. Paine had called him a little over a week before, explaining the situation. He'd been delivering cargo to Kilika port, luckily, and was near enough to speed Rikku and the others to Luca. She'd looked healthy enough, though she'd been in pain. He'd stayed until morning, but he'd had to return to work with the coming of dawn. For the past week, he'd been trying to come back. Yuna had left a message at the Faction dig site on Bikanel for him, explaining Rikku's situation. He hadn't believed it at first… but, Cid had finally confirmed it. His little sister was wasting away.
He'd been three and a half years old when their mother had died… when Rikku was born. He barely remembered her, but he did remember those last days. The memories were a bit shaky, now, but… his mother had looked much the same as his sister did now. Her normally bright skin had been grey, cold; her shining hair had gone dull.
Memories of his childhood, chasing Rikku about the courtyard of Home, both of them screaming at the top of their lungs, began to fill his mind. She'd always been full of life. She'd always been annoying. When they'd lived out of the Celsius, they'd bickered constantly; all he'd wanted her to do was vanish, some days. Now, though, all Brother wanted her to do was open her eyes and smack him for 'breathing her air'.
He reached for her cool hand and held it, just watching her. If he had anything to do about it, he wouldn't let her slip away from him. He wouldn't let his baby sister go, just as his mother had gone. It wasn't right, and it wasn't fair. "E muja oui, Rikku," he whispered, squeezing her hand softly. As he gazed at her sadly, he felt her fingers tighten ever so slightly around his own, and he smiled softly. He kissed her forehead gently, still holding her hand. Despite how often they fought, despite how much they seemed to hate each other, he would truly be lost without her. "Wake up soon, sister. We're all waiting for you…"
The door to the room opened quietly. Brother looked toward it, and his gaze darkened for a moment. Gippal was entering extremely quietly, the now sleeping baby resting on his shoulder. He was humming quietly, patting her on the back. When he looked up and saw Brother, he froze.
"Gippal." Brother made sure to keep his voice quiet.
Gippal stared back at him for a moment, before he bowed his head ever so slightly in regard. "Brother. When did you get here?"
"A half hour ago. I wanted to see Rikku." Brother watched Gippal with skeptical eyes. He wanted to be angry at Gippal, but he found it hard to be angry with someone who looked as if he was about to fall over in exhaustion. He had dark circles under his eyes, his hair was in absolute disarray, and eyelids looked heavy. "You look as if you haven't slept in weeks."
Gippal shrugged slightly, shifting his weight back and forth, from foot to foot. "I haven't gotten that much sleep since I got here."
"You should be taking better care of yourself." Brother stood and crossed to the doorway, where Gippal remained. "You need to take care of my sister, and my niece. You can't do that without taking care of yourself, first."
Gippal's expression was shocked, which gave Brother a strange sense of satisfaction. "I… I guess so…"
"May I hold her?" Brother asked, pointing to the baby. Gippal looked distractedly down at the little body that rested in his arms.
"She just went to sleep, but… yeah… yeah, that would be fine." Ever so gently, he passed his daughter over to her uncle, occasionally instructing him on how to place his arms and telling him how the baby felt the most comfortable. The tiny baby made a soft cooing noise as she slept, making both men smile. Brother's respect for the Machine Faction leader grew enormously as he saw the affection with which he regarded his little girl.
Once Gippal was satisfied with Brother's grip on his daughter, he went and sat next to Rikku in the armchair, watching her with a miserable defeat in his eyes. Brother watched as he rocked the tiny child. Not moments after he sat down, Gippal had fallen asleep, his head resting against the arm of the large chair. Brother found another chair across the room and silently watched over his family.
I curled up in the window seat in Gippal's room, staring out over the stormy waters of Djose. I felt as if the waters were a reflection of my state of mind.
I was happy, of course. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want this. It was unplanned, unexpected, but… I wanted it, all the same. I was young, yes, but in a world that still remembered the thousand years in which everyone had to live young, that was the least of my problems. No one would look down on us because of our ages. I wouldn't care even if people did.
I wanted a life with Gippal, someday. I loved him more than I'd ever imagined I could, and despite my insatiable need to travel, I wanted to settle down at some point in time. I wanted to get married, to have a family… I wanted all of those perks that went along with love. I didn't know what he wanted. I didn't lie to myself and assure myself that he would be overjoyed. He was in the prime of his career, a busy young man, an important symbol to our people and the technological world. I, too, was symbol for our people, a young woman with a promising future and a proud past.
And now, I was pregnant. Did he want all of the perks that went along with love, too? Or would he think of them as a burden? I wanted to tell him… but how could I just say it?
He entered the room and I looked up at him with a tiny grin. He shut the door and walked over to the window seat. I automatically adjusted when he slid behind me, wrapping his arms about my waist. "How was work?" I asked, looking back at him, placing a false appearance of security upon my features.
"It was work." He leaned back against the wall and looked out at the water. "How was your day off?" He gave me a concerned look.
"… it was okay." I hesitated, looking back at him. I knew I should have told him right then. I wanted to…
"I need a day off… seriously, how much more can go wrong? They lost an entire shipment of the new parts from Bikanel, and now our orders will be behind for a month! I'll be buried in paperwork for the next week, and I'll have to credit angry buyers, and deal with all the ridiculous diplomatics… why can't things just be normal, for once?" And my drive went out the window. I hadn't realized that I'd opened my mouth to tell him until he gave me a patient glance. "Were you gonna say something, Cid's girl, or are you trying to catch a fly?"
I shook my head and looked back out at the chaotic ocean. "No… I wasn't going to say anything." My gaze remained on the unsteady waters as he hugged me tightly, blissfully unaware of my inner conflicts, and blissfully unaware that everything was about to change.
Okay, yeah… that chapter wasn't exactly what I'd hoped it would be, but it works. Sort of a set-up for the next events. I hope it wasn't too bad. I don't know about other people, but I kinda like Brother as a character. You have to admit, he is amusing. However, I tried to show him at a different angle. No one can be annoying all the time. Only a few more chapters for this fic, I think. I have a sequel planned, if you guys want it. From your reviewing, I think I can safely hope that you will, but, you never know. Thanks for all your reviews on the last chapter, and I'm sorry I made you guys cry! It made me cry too, but I assumed that it was just because I'm a sucker for sad stuff… Anyway… Please Review! And let me know if you want a sequel! I'd actually like to know if you all actually like the baby or not… I think she's cute, but I don't know if she's coming across as a character or a plot device. She's… both, kind of, but… yeah. I tried to give her a little bit of a personality, and I can't tell if I'm doing a good job of it or not. Feedback would be appreciated!
