Chapter 5
Symphony number four, the romantic.
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, crying. I don't know where the tears come from, but they're there, and there's nothing I can do about them. So I stay there on my bed, my legs curled up on my chest, crying like a child whose scraped his knee.
I wonder if my father had ever loved me. No, I don't wonder. I know my father loved me. At least for a while. Then he just changed. He turned into the Commander. And I knew from then on, the very sight of me repulsed him. Was it because I was weak? Was it because I was the only one who could pilot that... that machine of his? I can't remember anymore. Maybe he did love me, so many years ago, even when I did suffer for him. When I cried myself to sleep. Maybe he silently wept himself when I fought those angels. Maybe time just warped my view of my father. Or maybe this is all just wishful thinking.
I wonder if he didn't hate me at all. He might have not cared. He just saw me as a pilot, someone to give orders to, someone to pay, someone to forget after the day is done. I could believe that. But that would have been so cruel of him. I would have rather him hate me than forget.
Maybe that's why I love you so much. Maybe that's why I need you to fill the void that my father left. Yui. You're the only thing that makes me happy. Please don't hate me for using you. I only want you to be happy. My mother wanted me to be happy. Is this how she felt when she...
Father, why have you forsaken me...
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"Papa, look, papa!"
The little girl's eyes grew wide as the giant creature floated in front of her. The violet behemoth only stared back, it's eyes unblinking as it lay silent in the LCL prison. "Yeah, it's something, isn't it, Yui." Shinji said, sighing as he gazed on at the unwelcome yet familiar sight. "Isn't it cool, huh, Papa?" Yui said excitedly, her tiny hands pressing against the glass. "Cool? Well, not the first thing I'd say, but it is pretty amazing." Shinji replied, kneeling down to the level of his daughter. "Uncle Ken said that they can fly and stretch and shoot lasers and do all kinds of neat things." Yui said, looking at her father with dancing eyes. "Yes, and you've been hanging around Uncle Ken for too long, Yui" Shinji smiled, rubbing his four-year old daughter's head affectionately.
"That and we have to find out how 'Uncle Ken' keeps on finding out about these things."
Shinji felt his heart skip a beat or two as he heard the familiar voice. Yui, however, turned and excitedly greeted the newcomer. "Auntie Mi- chan!" she cried, running towards the commander's outstretched arms. "Hey, kiddo. Thought I told you to stop calling me that. It makes your beautiful, talented, YOUNG aunt seem old." Misato laughed as she hugged the little girl. "Good afternoon, Commander." Shinji said curtly, not taking his eyes off of his daughter. Misato nodded directed Yui back to her father. "And a good afternoon to you also, Shinji-kun." Misato replied, her face smiling but her eyes weary.
"I trust your trip here was pleasant enough?" Misato said, turning to face the Eva cage. "Well, Yui enjoyed it well enough. I was too busy worrying about what this was all about." Shinji said, chuckling a bit. Misato let out a sigh, as the tension in her eyes loosened. "Shinji, I'm sorry about all of this, but when Yui arrived, it just..." Misato let the last sentence drift, knowing that saying more would just endanger the truce between Commander and former-Pilot. "Time heals all things, Misato. I told you that I've forgiven you three years ago. Don't worry about it." Shinji replied, facing Misato with a small grin.
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Shinji remembered it like it was yesterday. He was celebrating Yui's first birthday and Touji, Kensuke and Hikari where all there. The doorbell rang and Shinji answered it. And there Misato was.
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"Yes, but I haven't actually called you in for anything for a long time. I was just kind of tense to see how you would handle it." Misato said. "Hey, Yui enjoyed the limo ride." Shinji said, turning back to Eva. Now was the time for him to ask the question burning at the back of his mind since day one.
"So why did you ask me to bring her..."
TBC
Notes:Uh, yeah. Review a lot if you wanna know what happens next...
FPotM
