Chapter 6
You Should Be Scared Of Me
"Yui, honey, wake up. We're home." Shinji whispered into his daughter's ear. The pre-schooler stirred in his arms, cracking open one teary eye towards Shinji. "Papa..." Yui cried, not liking the interruption of her snooze. "There there, don't give me that look." Shinji said, smiling slightly. "Umm." Yui moaned in protest as Shinji lowered her to the ground. "Just five minutes and we'll get you changed and into bed, okay." Shinji reassured the child, letting her off.
Shinji fumbled with his keys, his eyes also tired from the long drive home. "Misato and her stupid schedules. Good thing it's a Saturday, or else Yui and I would both have to be absent tomorrow." Shinji thought as the old metal teeth finally clicked and the door gave way for the small Ikari family. Shinji flipped on the lights, and the apartment flooded with blinding white light. At least, for Shinji's weary eyes.
To Yui, however, it was like a match to gasoline soaked tinder. Whatever sleep-related thoughts she had in her head were wiped away with the light. "Papa, can I watch T.V.?" Yui said, eyes twinkling. "But, sweetie, it's..." Shinji began. "Okay, thanks, you're the best daddy in the world." Yui squealed in delight and plopped herself in front of the screen. "Yui..." Shinji began, his voice stretched.
Yui recognized the tone and switched her tactics. "Come on, Papa, please? I'm not sleepy yet, honest." she said, her eyes doe-like and her head leaning to the side. "Hmm, okaaay." Shinji sighed, giving in and reaching for the remote. "My dad would probably kill me for spoiling you so much, Yui." Shinji joked as he sat beside Yui on the soft orange couch and turned on the T.V.. "You make gramps sound like he was a meanie, Papa." Yui giggled, looking up to her father. "Meanie is too soft a word for him, Yui." Shinji replied, wondering how his own father could live with himself for what he did to his child. Now that Shinji himself was a parent, he was aghast at the dangers his dad put him through, more aware now that he had his own daughter to think about.
"Really? How come you didn't like your dad, Papa?" Yui said, her curious red eyes searching Shinji's blue. "Let's just say I'm glad you take after the women of our family than the men, okay Yui." Shinji answered, rubbing his daughter's hair. "Like that woman, Papa." Yui said innocently, pointing at the television screen."
"Totally Uncensored!!!"
"100% wild!"
"Girls! Girls! Girls!"
"Without the little black bars!"
"Woohoo!!!"
Shinji's eyes nearly burst out of his head when he saw the commercial. He knew it was late, but he didn't know it was that late! "Y- Yui, close your eyes! This isn't something good little girls see or do!!!" Shinji said, his hand struggling with the remote, as it seemed to fly out of his hand. "Okay Papa." Yui said trustingly, putting her hands over her eyes. Shinji had to go through a lot of questions that night.
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"And then she asked me what a threesome meant..."
Shinji Ikari and the other two stooges were sharing a drink at Kensuke's house, going over what was happening in their friend's lives. "Man, I feel for you Shinj. But hey, did you remember the number?" Touji Suzuhara joked, laying down on the recliner. "I'm telling you, Touj, if you and Hikari ever decide to get kids, figure out how to set the V-chip. That or be prepared with a sex-ed crash course." Shinji muttered his hand on the bridge of his nose. "Yeah, Touj. You have to be all sensitive and goody when it comes to kids..." Kensuke added, taking his eyes off the baseball game and turning to Shinji. "... But seriously, Shin-man. You wrote down the number, didn't you?" Kensuke said, making Touji almost squirt beer out of his nose.
"Ha, score Kensuke!" Touji laughed, his hand on his aching throat. "And you wonder why Asuka used to call us stooges." Shinji said good- naturedly, rolling his eyes at his friends. Sure, they looked more mature, but the onslaught of time failed to make a dent in the idiocy of the three musketeers. "Speak of the devil, the redheaded brat's coming over this week." Touji said, half-mocking and half-serious.
"Hell no. You're not yanking my chain, are you Touj? Don't tell me little-miss-Hollywood's coming back to the land of the rising sun." Kensuke said, his glasses glinting in the light. "I ain't yanking nothin' of yours, Ken. For real, man. Hikari just told me yesterday. She says it had something to do with writing a biography or something like that." Touji replied, taking a swig from his Yebisu. "Ask Shinj. He probably knows about it more than me." Touji added, putting his glass down and focusing on the game.
Shinji leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling. "Well, Misato did say something about Asuka getting a book deal from her last letter." Shinji said, recalling a passing reference Misato made a couple of days ago. "See. That proves it. If Misato says so, it means it's true." Touji said, crossing his arms in defiance of Kensuke, daring the military otaku to contest the statement. "Seeing as it did come out of Misato-san's gorgeous lips, I'll have to take your word on this one." Kensuke said thoughtfully.
"Wow, Asuka's coming back. I wonder how that'll turn out." Shinji said, popping the tab of another beer.
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"Yes mother, I'll get right on it.
No, of course not.
Look, if I have five college degrees and can pilot a hundred-story robot, then writing a book is cake. Of course I'm going back to showbiz after this.
I'm just showing them that I have a brain not just some other eye-candy bimbo pumped full of silicone.
Alright, fine.
I'll call you later mother.
Yes, I love you too."
"That woman is damn insatiable!" Asuka Souryu Langley hissed as she snapped her cell-phone shut. "If I hear one more word about not taking a bloody contract, I am so gonna' freakin' put that nasty woman in a home!" Asuka fumed. Sure, her stepmother was entitled to a little bit of Asuka's newfound fame, but this was just a little much.
"WE ARE NOW ARRIVING AT TOKYO-3 INTERNATIONAL. PLEASE TURN OFF ALL CELLULAR PHONES AND LAPTOPS AND RETURN YOUR SEATS TO THE FULL UPRIGHT POSITION. OUR ETA IS IN 17 MINUTES..."
Asuka sighed and turned off her phone. Out of the first-class window seat, she watched as the clouds broke and the skyline of Tokyo-3 appeared, it's massive skyscrapers emerging from the ground like giants of metal and glass. "Well, Tokyo-3, your number one hero is finally back..." she whispered, smiling slightly at the sight below.
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"Come on Yui, take a bite. I promise it isn't as bad as it smells." Shinji pleaded with his stubborn daughter, his hand trying to keep steady a spoonful of strained carrots. "No! It's icky!" Yui pouted, crossing her arms. "C'mon, you're letting your brain jump to conclusions. It's sweet, really, honey." Shinji said, his eyebrow twitching. "But it's funny looking!" Yui whined on her high chair. "No buts lady, now open wide." Shinji said, his tone getting angrier. In his head he already formulated a scenario.
"But Papa-waugh!!!"
"Aha. See, it isn't so bad." Shinji said, grinning triumphantly. He knew his daughter wasn't going to give in willingly and was just going to keep on complaining, so he just waited for her to open her mouth herself. Yep, Ikari Shinji, you are a genius.
"Eh...eh...AAUUAACKKK!"
"SPLORP!!!"
"Ah!!! My shirt!"
Ok, maybe Shinji's plan wasn't so foolproof.
"Oops. Sorry Papa." Yui said, still looking a little green, but not forgetting to apologize to her father. "It's okay, Yui. Maybe next time." Shinji sighed, getting up to wipe the orange gunk of his chest. Of course, being the good, albeit stubborn, little girl Yui was, she hated seeing her father sad, so she braced herself and took up the small spoon her father held.
When Shinji walked in later, a clean shirt and a determined look on his face. "Ok, Yui. This you will eat your vegetables or else..." Shinji said, raising his finger, but slowly lowering it. "...no desert?" he finished. "All done, Papa." Yui said, a sick look on her face as lay her head on the table. Shinji saw the clean plate and smiled. "That's my girl..." Shinji said and went to the fridge to get her some ice cream. He knew that it took a lot for a four-year old to face down the horrors of the plant world, so the least he could do was reward her efforts.
"Papa, I don't feel so good....eh...eh...AUUACK!!!"
"SPLORP!"
Shinji sighed and closed the fridge door. "Well Yui, it's the though that counts..." Shinji said, getting a rag to clean up his daughter's mess...
TBC
Notes:
Don't worry. After cleaning up the mess, Shinji did give Yui her ice-cream. Just wanted that thought to be voiced, seeing as if you love kids as much as I do, it would break my heart not to give Yui any desert before bedtime, even if she did barf up most of her dinner. Oh well. The story's turning waffy comedy. I really can't tell if that's a god thing or a bad thing, but don't worry. I think I have at least one plotline that'll be all-serious and stuff. As for what Shinji's purpose to bringing Yui to Unit 01 the other day, I'll tell you that later. All that's left is what to do with Asuka. She'e been away from Japan for seven years, and the only correspondence she's had with her half-homeland is with Misato. She doesn't even know Shinji's had a baby. Will she spend her visit at Shinji's apartment? Probably not. She is a multi-millionaire celebrity. But she will get to meet Yui. I wonder how that'll turn out...
As always, review. I'm putting off about three day's work on It's Not Impossible for this, so you better push that little purple button.
Yours truly
FPotM
