Lie In The Sound
Chapter 12: Make It Through
I stepped off of the dock and onto the warm sands, dropping my bags. The calm of the island began to overtake me as I walked down to the water's edge. Kneeling in the surf, I breathed in deeply, basking in the scent of the ocean spray, in the warmth of the sun. The tide had begun to come in. Dusk would arrive soon, I noted. The sun had already begun its descent to the horizon. I sat on the wet sand, letting the surf lap around me.
It was so much warmer here. I'd gotten used to the depressed atmosphere in the Djose area, the incessantly overcast skies, the choppy, cold ocean waters. I'd missed the sunlight. I'd missed independence, too. I liked traveling, being in charge of my own life. I was happy to be back to it. Even so, though, I missed him. I missed him so much, my heart was aching.
I'd left during the evening. I was supposed to meet him for dinner with Nooj and Baralai at the Mushroom Rock Youth League Headquarters. I'd gotten on the hover, but when it stopped at Mushroom Rock, I didn't get off. I continued on to Luca, and I didn't turn back. I wasn't about to tell him, because I knew what he'd do. He may not have wanted what was coming just yet, but if he had it, he wouldn't let it slip away. He'd lost his family at a young age. He'd want me to stay, and he'd be just as excited about the baby as I was. He'd give up everything for us. And that was exactly what I couldn't let him do.
I never wanted to hurt him, or myself. But I didn't want him to lose everything he'd worked for, either. I didn't want him to give it all away. I didn't want him to have to choose. And so I'd made the decision for him. I'd slipped away quietly, in the night, leaving only a small note to tell him that I'd gone to Besaid, and I didn't know when I would be back.
I sighed as the water rushed in, the warm liquid caressing my skin. With a groan, I pushed myself off the ground and walked up to my bags, slinging my old travel bag over my shoulder, holding my little suitcase tightly. I made my way toward the gap in the hills that led to the village path, watching with unshed tears as a lone dolphin jumped, far out in the cove.
I stood beyond the gate, watching as the people of Besaid, my friends and family included, danced around the fire in the center of the tiny village. It amazed me that with all of the advances we'd made, with all the expansions other cities had begun to start on, that Besaid remained the same. It would always be the same little village with the same little huts, the same temple watching over it. At least some things never change, I thought to myself. Gripping the handle of my suitcase tightly, I walked inside the gates and toward the bonfire.
Yuna spotted me first, as I meandered cautiously toward her. "Rikku?" she asked, grinning widely. "Rikku! When did you get here? Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" She ran to me and gave me a wild hug, spinning the both of us in a circle.
I smiled at her and hugged tightly back. "Just now, and… it was a spur of the moment thing."
She looked behind me toward the gates. "Where's Gippal?" she asked, smiling widely.
I looked into the flames for a moment before responding slowly. "In Djose."
She looked confused, worried. "Did something happen between you two?" She waved to Lulu, who smiled and stood, walking to meet us. I sighed and looked to the side, avoiding the question.
"You could say that, but… we didn't fight, or anything. I just…" I shook my head as Yuna led me inside Lulu and Wakka's hut. I dropped my suitcase and travel bag near the door and fell back on the couch, curling up around a pillow.
"Are you okay?" She asked with concern, sitting across from me on the coffee table.
I suddenly felt the prickle of tears behind my eyes, and looked at my lap. "I… I don't know." Lulu entered the tent as I began to cry, her large smile of welcome replaced with concern. Yuna leaned forward to hug me, and Lulu sat next to us, squeezing my hand softly.
"What's wrong? Here I am, coming in to say a happy hello, and you're in tears!"
I gazed into the woman's deep red eyes, before I shook my head and wiped at my cheeks. "I'm… I'm okay, I'll be fine."
"Rikku…" Yuna and Lulu each had one of my hands. I avoided their gazes for a long while, but finally, I looked up in defeat. "What happened?"
"I left."
"What?"
"Why?"
"What did he do?" I would have smiled as they fired questions at me, but I was too melancholy for smiling.
"He didn't do anything. I just… I needed to leave." I sighed heavily and pulled my hands away, rubbing at my temples.
"Then why are you crying?" Yuna asked, looking skeptical.
"Because I didn't want to go. But he said some things, that made me realize that I needed to." I shook my head and took a deep breath, closing my eyes.
Yuna sat back on the table, frustrated. "I don't understand!"
"I… I'm pregnant, okay? I'm pregnant. And I had to leave." I started to cry again. Yuna gasped, shocked, and leaned forward to give me another hug. I looked up at Lulu as she did so, and I found understanding in her eyes as she clasped my hand tightly.
My father and my brother arrived two days later. I'd called everyone together. So far, only Yuna and Lulu knew about the baby. I wanted to tell everyone at once. And I wanted to make sure that none of them would try to take matters into their own hands.
We sat around the bonfire early that evening, before the rest of the village joined in. And I quietly told them the news. "I'm gonna have a baby!" I was happy, excited, to finally be able to tell people.
Tidus broke out in smiles and gave me a huge bear hug, whooping. Wakka hugged me, too. Yuna and Lulu only smiled happily. My brother looked shocked. Paine, who had come with Brother on the Celsius, looked confused. My father, for a moment, looked furious.
"You're WHAT!" All of us cowered. I stared up at Cid. I knew he would be upset, but I hoped that he wasn't too angry.
"… gonna… have… a baby?" I repeated, nervously laughing between words. I watched him as his face turned red.
"Rikku, you're seventeen! This is… this is ridiculous!" He began to chatter in Al Bhed, nonsense phrases. I sighed uncomfortably and glanced over at Yuna, who gave me a sympathetic smile.
"Pops… I thought you'd at least pretend to be happy." I grinned mischievously. "After all, you're going to be a grandpa, now." That shut him up. A funny little grin appeared on his lips, and I turned to the others triumphantly, smiling.
"I just saw Gippal two days ago, and he was asking if we'd spoken to you. He didn't mention anything about a baby, and he would have been too excited to keep it quiet if he knew." Paine looked to Brother, who nodded in confirmation.
"He looked worried, not happy," he said, in his heavy accent.
My smile faded. "That's because I didn't tell him."
Brother and Paine shared the same expression. I would have laughed in a normal situation, but I didn't. I only frowned. "Why?"
"Because I don't want him to know."
Cid was concerned. "It is his baby, isn't it?"
"Of course it is! Who else would it be?" I shook my head in disbelief, before I sat down on the couch.
Brother began to shake his head in disbelief. "Fundrmacc Gippal… E lyh'd pameaja dryd oui cmabd fedr res, uv ymm baubma, Rikku." His shock was gone now. I just ignored him, knowing he would cool off sooner or later.
I looked to everyone in the room. "I need you all to listen to me. I wanted all of you to know, but… Gippal… I just can't tell him. I know what would happen if he knew, and I don't want him to do what he would do, so I'm not going to tell him until I think the time is right. And I don't want any of you to say a word."
The room was silent. I waited for a few minutes before I ran a hand through my braids. "Please… promise me that none of you will say anything?"
And they promised. Later that evening, as we celebrated around the bonfire, I found myself wishing that they hadn't.
Tidus and Yuna were splashing around in the water, laughing insanely as they chased each other around the cove. I laughed and pointed at them. Little Vidina clapped his hands and pointed at them too, swaying slightly in my arms. Paine had her old sphere-camera out, and was following Yuna and Tidus as they gallivanted around the cove, chuckling to herself.
With some effort, balancing toddler and belly, I sat in the surf. Vidina sat on my lap, giggling as the waves surrounded us. I rested my chin on his little shoulder and grinned at him, making him laugh again. He grabbed my hat and pulled it off. My long hair tumbled out from beneath it, and I shook out the tangles, laughing as he tossed the little yellow hat into the water. Then, I grabbed the little boy and began to tickle him thoroughly. I didn't notice when Paine swept the camera onto the two of us. After a while, Yuna abandoned Tidus and the two of us walked into thigh deep water.
Vidina sat on my hip happily, and pointed into the water as little tropical fish swam by. "Fshhhhhh…"
Yuna laughed heartily. I grinned and pointed out some seals that were playing in the water. Vidina had a happy nature, and each time he saw something new, he squealed happily. Yuna relieved me for a little while, wading into deeper water with the little one, showing him how to splash in the surf.
I grinned as I watched them and shaded my eyes, blocking the glare of the sun. My other hand rested on my abdomen. I was now reaching the six month mark, and I looked it. Though still lean and fit as I'd always been, anyone with eyes could see that I was expecting. The baby was kicking, and I grinned as I pushed and prodded. "Yuna! C'mere!"
She came back, with a very wet Vidina, and I pulled her free hand toward my stomach. She felt and laughed. "Active today, isn't it?" I nodded and looked to Vidina, who was watching us curiously.
"Wanna feel the baby?" I asked, not expecting an answer. He couldn't talk yet, but he did respond to our questions and such. He held out a little hand, and I placed it over the spot where the baby was kicking away.
"Ooooooohhh…" was all the little one said, before splashing at me. Yuna and I laughed, and I splashed back. The two of us had a mini water fight. At that moment, I was happier than I'd been in a long time.
Finally, when we returned to shore, I was soaking. My hat had washed up at the water line. Tidus picked it up and plopped it back on my head. Paine focused the camera on me and I made a face at her as water and sand fell off the edges of the hat. Today had been a good one, I decided. I was making it through, after all.
My whole body felt sore, and heavy, so heavy. Even thinking hurt, for a while. Slowly, I began to remember bits and pieces of conversations, and I began to remember exactly why my body felt the way it did. After three long days of labor, I should have felt as if I'd been beaten. But somehow, I hadn't ever imagined that it would feel this bad.
I opened my eyes, squinting in the dim light. I didn't even try to move the rest of my body, at first. I just looked around the room. Most of it was draped in shadow. The only other light source, other than the dim lights of my monitors, was the small rectangle that was seeping in beneath the door.
I was extremely groggy, but I moved my head to the side, looking toward the chair that had been by my bed throughout the labor, specifically searching for the person who had last been in it.
Gippal sat next to me, curled in the large chair. I smiled softly at the sight. Then I noticed how different his appearance was. His skin was pale. His hair was messy. There were dark circles under his eyes… he seemed almost sickly. I faintly remembered him talking to me, begging me to wake up. I didn't know how long I'd been out for, but it had to be awhile, for him to look so… beaten.
His hand rested near mine. I reached for it, holding it for a moment. Then I squeezed it. "Gippal?" My voice was soft, dry. He didn't stir. I shook his arm softly, hoping it would wake him up. If it didn't, I would understand. He looked exhausted. "Gippal…"
He groaned quietly. He brought his free hand to his face as he yawned, rubbing at his eyes. He sighed heavily as he opened his eyes. I squeezed his hand softly. "Hey you…"
For a moment, he didn't seem to register what was going on. Finally, his eyes widened and he whispered, as if in disbelief. "Rikku?"
Okay, so… all of you that have been praying for her to wake up… she woke up! Don't worry, it's not done yet! I'd like to take a moment to thank Jen, who has agreed to BETA/edit this fic and the sequel for me! I'm sooooo happy! So, yeah… much thanks! Much thanks to everyone who reviewed, too!
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