Chapter 8

The Shinji in his Mind

"I hated her..."

"Hated who?"

"Her."

"Please be more specific of whom you speak of, Third Child."

"Please, don't make me say it."

"I require clarification, Third Child."

"..."

"I beg of it, Third Child."

"I... hated... you..."

"I-I do not understand, Ikari-kun."

"But I loved you too. Is that at all believable?"

"N-negative, Third Child."

"Well, it's true. I hated you and I loved you. More of as I hated the fact that I loved you."

"I apologize, Ikari-kun. This... information, i...it seems to be more than I am able comprehend."

"You don't understand."

"I cannot understand if you do not allow me to know, Shinji!"

"..."

"Ah, Ikari-kun, I did not mean to raise my voice."

"Please, do it again."

"Do what again?"

"Scream at me, please..."

"?"

"Please. I don't care, just don't call me that. Call me Ikari, call me Shinji-kun, call me Shin-chan, anything!"

"Ikari-kun..."

"PLEASE, STOP IT! I AM NOT IKARI! I AM NOT IKARI! I... I...I am..."

"Shinji..."

"Shinji..."

"Shinji..."

"Shinji..."

"You are..."

"I am..."

"You are you."

"I am I..."

"You are..."

"I am..."

Shinji Ikari...Rei Ayanami... Shinji Ayanami... Rei Ikari...Shinji...Rei...Shinji...Rei...

"I AM SHINJI!" the young man screamed into the darkness of his room. Cold sweat ran down Shinji's forehead as his breath came out in short, ragged gasps. "I... am... Shinji..." he whispered as his breathing abated. "I... Shinji..."

The tears visited him again that night. They came slowly at first, like they always have, making a few dark marks on his bed sheets. Then they grew stronger, almost like a stream.

"Papa..."

Shinji quickly tried to dry his tears on his free arm, knowing the girl whose soft voice called out to him. "Papa..." the little girl sniffed, her eyes brimming with crystal tears herself. Shinji knew that it wouldn't be of any use to hide his tears from his daughter, so he let them fall freely. "PAPA!" the little girl cried, running as fast as her legs could carry her to her father's side. The young parent could only hold his daughter tightly, sobbing lightly along with her.

"Mommy shouldn't make you cry..." she whipsered, hugging Shinji tighter

"Mommy shouldn't make you cry..."

Author's Note:

Long time in updating. Well what do you think?