Eli rifled through the box of new deliveries- not so much paying attention to the hard cover novels, he was more enthralled in his memory as he replayed last nights events……….Grace's bare legs crossing his bed, her arms wrapped around his middle, holding him close, her sensuous lips.
Eli looked up for a moment- and saw a girl wearing a red jumper and dark denim jeans breeze into the store; he could have sworn it was Grace. He went back to his books, but out of the corner of his eye, saw the girl heading towards him. He looked up, and a smile crossed his lips as he saw it was Grace- looking beautiful as ever..………..her hair wind blown and scattered across her shoulders, cheeks and nose a fresh red- much like the colour of her jumper. Her lips curled into a smile.
"What are you doing here?" Eli asked, unable to stop himself from wrapping one arm around her middle- regardless of whether Jake or Judy saw them.
Grace smiled mischievously, "I stopped by to see if you wanted to go out the back for a quickie………" she raised an eyebrow cheekily "hows about it, stud!"
Eli looked around the store quickly, it was still early in the morning- and the few customers surrounding them made for a good cover- he bent down quickly and kissed her lips, hard; "really?" he asked, pulling away, a twinkle in his eye.
Grace giggled and playfully punched his arm; "sorry man meat………I'm only here to pick Zoe up…..….." Grace shrugged, and moved in for a quick peck on his cheek.
Eli released her from his grip as he saw Judy walk in from the far door; "what did I tell you Grace Manning………empty promises!" he warned with a broad smile.
Grace stepped away, "I have to go………but I will see you tonight…….." she smiled, and began to walk towards Jake's office, but not before looking over her shoulder and calling out, "I promise!"
Eli laughed and watched her disappear into Jake's office.
He went back to the books, when suddenly, he remembered his promise to Jake yesterday………he promised to tell his family about Philadelphia………what if Jake mentioned it to Grace…………?
"Hey Gracie!" Jake exclaimed, as he kissed her forehead.
"Hi dad" Grace smiled up at him, "I'm here to take Zoe home…….."
"Oh, well I could have done that sweety!"
Grace shuffled her feet slightly, "yeah well……….I figured you'd be really busy………and she's probably annoyed the hell outta you, so I thought I'd take her off you're hands ASAP" she lied.
Jake smiled and walked to his desk, stapling a few pieces of paper together; "Zoe's picking out a book to take home, she'll only be a sec" he said, and then turned to his daughter, "how was you're evening last night?"
Grace smiled, a far off smile: "it was fine………Eli and I stayed in while mum, Rick and Jessie were out at Karen's………."
"Why didn't you and Eli go!"
"Private meeting about Jessie's future………not for our ears…..….." Grace replied, looking down at her feet.
Jake nodded slowly as he studied his daughter's expression; "and what do you think about Eli's plans?" he asked, slowly and cautiously.
Grace's head shot up as she creased her brow, "what do you………" she began, but the door to Jake's office flung open and Eli stood before them.
"Geez Eli!" Jake exclaimed, staring at him.
"Sorry Jake, but I need to talk to you……….urgently!" Eli said, exasperated.
"Eli what's this………." Grace began, but silenced herself- turning back to her father.
"Sounds important……….I better go" she walked to him, kissing his cheek quickly; "have a nice day," she said, turning towards the door, "you too Eli" she said, exiting the office.
Eli closed the door behind him, and turned back to Jake's scowling face; "you didn't tell them?" Jake spoke before Eli could explain himself.
He shook his head slowly, "but only because they went out and………"
Jake raised his hand and Eli became quite; "tonight Eli!" Jake warned, "or the deal is off!"
And with that Eli creeped out of his office; knowing there was no way around it now.
Eli sat very still in the car, his hands gripping the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles were turning a glowing white.
He'd never felt so scared in all his life- and he hoped he never would again after tonight.
He stared at that front door, urged himself to open the car door and stride towards the house- hold his head high as he opened the door. Remain calm throughout the entire evening……..and then right when he was sure the timing was perfect………he'd clear his throat and tell them……..easy as that………easy as that!
Slowly Eli opened the car door, and got out- making the sluggish walk towards the front door…………..easy………..as………….that.
"Eli what do you want to watch?" Jessie asked while pressing the remote.
Eli didn't reply, she turned to her brother and frowned; "talk much?" she asked sarcastically.
Grace reached her hand over, clasping his tightly; Eli jumped slightly, her touch unpredictable. "You ok?" she asked softly.
Eli gave a small nod and turned back to the television; concentrating hard on the national geographic channel.
Grace released his hand and turned to the t.v aswell, but continued to look at him out of the corner of her eye- something wasn't right.
"Pass the salt please"
Zoe handed it to her mother and Eli watched as Lily sprinkled it over her meat.
"This is delicious honey" Rick commented, looking up and smiling at Lily, who blushed slightly.
"How fast can rabbits run?" Zoe asked Jessie who was sitting beside her.
"They don't run they……….they hop……….." Jessie replied quickly, and then shoved a fork full of lettuce in her mouth.
"So the radio station wants to add 10 minutes to my segment" Lily spoke across the table to Rick who nodded with deep concentration, "as though it makes an entire amount of difference!" Lily scoffed as she bit into a dinner roll.
"Don't be so down about it, Lil……….10 minutes is 10 minutes more!" Rick replied, and bit into a dinner roll of his own.
ELI (makes a deep sigh)
Eli moved his carrots around his plate, hoping no one had noticed that he hadn't so much as lifted a fork to his mouth.
But Grace did………she was looking up at him every now and then, between her conversation with Zoe and Jessie about whether or not rabbits run or hop………she'd been keeping an eye on him, and knew, by his mannerisms and silent eyes, that something was wrong.
ELI (sighs again, looks down at his shaking hands)
Eli lifted his eyes, and caught Grace looking at him. As their eyes connected, she frowned and mouthed 'you ok?' to which Eli looked away, pretending to not have heard her.
Grace wished she was sitting beside Eli- so she could reach over and squeeze his hand, make him look at her so she could ask with her eyes if he was alright………if there was something on his mind……….
"Only 3 more weeks of holidays left for you Grace!" Lily said, and Grace had to look at her mother and nod.
"Then a semester of school……….Christmas break……….and then you start senior year!" her mother added, smiling excitedly at her daughter.
Grace nodded, "can't wait!" she mumbled, and brought a glass of water to her lips. The thought of senior year reminded her of Eli's plan to move into her first apartment with her.
"I have something to say"
Grace brought her glass down and rested it on the table, her brow creased as she looked at Eli- as the entire family looked at him.
"It's………" he cleared his throat, and sat upright in his chair, placing his fork down- he looked around the table, careful to avoid Grace's eyes; "it's pretty big news………."
ELI (holds head up, swallows, and opens his mouth as though about to speak)
"It's about a job I've been offered………" Eli started, and he heard as Grace exhaled a small breath.
"A job, Eli?" his father repeated, sitting back in his chair and listening anxiously to his son.
"Well, you all know about B & J bookstores opening up in Philadelphia………" Eli went on, and looked around the whole table as everyone gave a small nod of understanding. Everyone except Grace who simply stared at him, mouth agape……….
GRACE just breath……….just breath………..
"Well Judy and Jake need someone to go and live in Philly while the store gets up and going………and to live there and act as representative manager……….."
GRACE just………..just………….(shakes her head slowly, and looks up at camera, a questioning expression on her face)
There was a dull silence around the table as Eli let his voice linger- and then the reality set in.
"Acting manager?" Rick repeated.
Eli looked at his father, waiting for some sort of expression to break across his face………..he smiled……….Rick smiled at his son………
"Acting manager!" Rick said again, and Eli smiled aswell and nodded.
"My son is going to be acting manager of a big, new company!" Rick exclaimed.
Eli felt his face turn hot as he nodded again, "yep" was all he could say.
"Oh Eli!" Lily exclaimed, bringing a hand to her mouth, "that is fantastic!" she added.
"E!" Rick practically yelled with joy as he leapt from his seat, and held his hand out to Eli- who shook it vigorously, "I couldn't be more proud!" Rick beamed.
"Really?" Eli asked, feeling pride, joy and a small bit of fear well up inside him.
Rick pulled Eli out of his chair, and held him in a tight hug; "of course I am!" he exclaimed.
"Can I have the garage?" Zoe asked her mother.
"I………I don't know hun………" Lily replied with a smile.
"Does you're mother know?" Rick asked, as he released Eli.
He nodded, "sorry I didn't tell you sooner………"
"It's fine……..fine………..!" Rick replied, and was about to go on;
"When?"
Rick's voice died down as the whole room looked at Grace- who was sitting very still, and looking very small, her face was pale and her lips were pursed, her eyes were staring far off.
"When do you leave?" she asked again, not looking up at Eli.
"By the end of the month" he replied, in a dull voice.
Grace scoffed, and looked up to him, her eyes wild and watering; "3 weeks?" she asked, frowning at him.
Jessie looked from her brother to Grace, and back again, as the couple stared, hard at each other. She let her hand slip across to Grace's beneath the table, but Grace pulled hers away quickly.
"How long have you known?" Grace practically screamed, she felt her eyes stinging, and she knew everyone was looking at her………she knew………..but she didn't care.
Eli mumbled something, as he shuffled his feet nervously; "how long?" Grace asked, again.
"Grace……..stop it!" Lily tried, but her daughter ignored her.
Grace stared at Eli, never once looking away from him with her icy eyes, "how long, Eli?" she asked, quieter this time.
"A little over a month" he replied, and looked down to his feet.
Grace's mouth went dry and her hands started to shake, she could feel tears building up. She looked around the table, at everyone staring at her, and then she averted her eyes back to Eli, who looked up at her again.
Her eyes said everything. They revealed every emotion welling up inside of her, tearing her apart. The anger, sadness, betrayal, fury………it was all there for Eli to see……….it was there in her beautiful eyes………they said everything she could never possibly put into words.
Grace pushed her chair out from the table, "excuse me," she whispered, and she stood up, walking through the kitchen- leaving an echo of silence in the dining room as the family listened to her footsteps up the stairs.
"What was………" Rick started.
"That time of month……….." Jessie tried, biting her bottom lip.
Lily looked to Eli, seeing how hurt he was by Grace's outburst. "No………she just loves her brother too much………" she said, and gave Eli a supporting, warm smile.
"I'm sure she really is thrilled for you, E" Rick said, patting his sons back.
"She probably just wishes it was her moving out of home!" Lily tried again, "she's so eager to go off to University, and start out on her own…..….she's probably jealous that you get to do all that before her…….."
Eli nodded, and then looked to his father, "I better go talk to her…….."
"Just let her be Eli" Lily said, but Eli shook his head, "no……..I really should" he said, and left the dining room.
Jessie reached for Grace's water and took a sip; "and I thought I had problems…..….." she muttered to herself.
Eli didn't bother to knock, he slowly opened Grace's door, to find her room black and lightless, the outline of her figure sitting at her desk.
He walked in, closing the door behind him, and flicking on her light.
Her back was to him, hunched over, but he couldn't hear any sound coming from her, she wasn't crying like he thought she would be.
"Grace, I am so sorry" he started, walking to her quickly.
He laid a hand on her back, but she shrugged him off viciously.
"Grace………" he said again, stepping infront of her. He brought his hand beneath her chin, urging her to lift her head and look at him.
Her head lifted, and her hand slapped his away- her eyes were dark and wild, her brow creased and her lips firm.
"Say something………" he pleaded, but she said nothing, only stared up at him in silence.
"Please say something………anything………." He tried again; "tell me you hate me………tell me long distance relationships can work……..ask me to stay………"
"Would you?" she asked in a stern whisper.
Eli looked away, "no"
"So what's the point?" she asked, speaking louder and angrier now.
He looked back to her, "the point is……….is………just tell me how you feel!" he clumsily stumbled over his words as he pleaded with her.
She slowly stood up, and walked to her bed, Eli stood still as he watched her, her back turned to him.
"I gave you…….." she started, slowly turning around.
"I gave you my heart……..my soul………my body!" her voice was wavering as she spoke through clenched teeth, her hands gripping fists as she stared at him with anger, "I gave you all of me……….and you just……..your just going to………" she threw her hands in the air, "leave!"
She felt tears run down her cheeks now, and she swiped at them, too angry to cry now.
Eli walked to her, opened his arms and held her- but she fought him, punched his chest hard and moved away from him- the tears coming heavy now, but she still swiped them away.
"No!" she yelled, "You don't touch me!"
"Don't do this Grace, please!" Eli tried, feeling his own eyes sting.
She allowed the tears to stream her face for a moment, as she stared at him, her bottom lip quivering; "why are you leaving me?" she asked through broken sobs.
Eli looked away, the pain of seeing her so wounded hurting him too much- but then he turned back to her, "I'm not………"
"Yes you are!" she yelled, throwing her hands in the air again, "you told me lies Eli! You said you would never leave me! You said we could move in together when I leave high school! You lied to me!" she cried, holding her face in her hands for a moment.
Eli so much wanted to hold her close, to stroke her hair and whisper in her ear that he loved her, but he knew she would only push him away.
"I loved you!" she said, looking to him again, her cheeks watery from tears.
"I do love you!" he yelled back; he needed her to know that………she had to know that!
Grace slowly shook her head, "No! No you don't!"
He stepped forward and she took two steps back, holding her hands up in a warning, "don't touch me!" she said again.
Eli felt his eyes water, "just…..…..just let me hold you!" he pleaded, stepping to her again.
Grace held her head in her hands again, and Eli took the opportunity to embrace her; he wrapped his arms around her tight, refusing to let go………..even when she fought him, punched him with fists and tried kicking him, he held her tight until she became limp in his arms and sobbed against his chest; "I loved you!" she whispered between sobs.
He stroked her hair, "and I love you!" he said in her ear; and then she started crying loudly again. Her arms hung by her sides, as Eli's tangled around her fragile, small body. Slowly, he lowered her to the ground, but never let her go, and they sat there, Eli holding Grace, they sat on the ground in a small huddle while she cried.
"I didn't want to hurt you!" he whispered, stroking her hair gently.
"You didn't hurt me…….." she sobbed, "you killed me!".
And with that, Eli felt a tear run down his own cheek.
ELI (looks away from camera)
GRACE (looks away from camera)
Spend all your time waiting
for that second
chance,
for a break that would make it okay.
There's
always some reason
to feel not good enough,
and it's hard, at
the end of the day.
I need some distraction,
Oh,
beautiful release.
Memories seep from my veins.
Let me
be empty,
Oh, and weightless,
And maybe I'll find some peace
tonight.In the arms of the angel,
fly away from
here,
from this dark, cold hotel room,
and the endlessness that
you feel.
You are pulled from the wreckage,
Of your
silent reverie.
You're in the arms of the angel,
may you find
some comfort here.
So tired of the straight line,
and
everywhere you turn,
there's vultures and thieves at your
back.
The storm keeps on twisting.
Keep on building the
lies
that you make up for all that you lack.
Don't make
no difference,
escape one last time.
It's easier to believe in
this sweet madness,
Oh, this glorious sadness,
that brings me
to my knees.
In the arms of the angel,
fly away from
here,
from this dark, cold hotel room,
and the endlessness
that you feel.
You are pulled from the wreckage,
Of
your silent reverie.
You're in the arms of the angel,
may you
find some comfort here.
You're in the arms of the
angel,
may you find some comfort here.
AUTHORS NOTE:
Song was Sarah McLachlan's 'angel', a really tragically, beautiful song that fit so well with this (I hope) emotional scene.
