Chapter 2

Before I get into the meat of this tale of woe, let me just tell you something about Metamorphmagus's. There haven't been lots of us, and each one of us is different. I'm not one hundred percent sure of the biology and science behind the magic that allows me to do what I do, but like all magic, sometimes it backfires, right in your face. We all know that I can change my appearance at will, right? Well, sometimes it sticks. It's pretty embarrassing, but it happens. If I'm really stressed out, in loads of pain or drunk, the morph can stick. Sometimes 10 minutes, sometimes two weeks, it really just depends on well, me. I should master this problem, but it's like acne. It always pops up just when you think you don't have to deal with it anymore. I keep hoping I'll outgrow it, but I'm basically a grown woman. Anyway, it happens, so you have been warned.

Getting back to me making "bundles" "impersonating" celebrities. I called the number and left the pertinent info. After hanging up, I started to have some serious doubts about the validity of Mr. Lawrence's claims. What the heck was I doing? I didn't even know the celeb's name? As the minutes ticked on, I became more and more agitated, switching my face and hair at least three different times before charging over to the small table that the phone was perched on. "Charging" is probably the wrong adjective to describe my gait, but I do remember that I tripped on the throw rug (yet another purchase from my mother to give me "incentive" not to "trip" on it. I have tons of incentive scars to prove it.) and landed flat on my stomach, scraping my shins. Realizing that my "incentive" to "not trip" was not up to the par it should have been, I had to conjure up an extinguisher after firing off several enthusiastic incendio spells. Yes, I have a temper. Yes, I can replace the rug (I'll have to if mum comes to visit) and yes, after removing the smell of burnt rug from my living room, I was just about to reach for the phone when it rang, causing me to jump about a foot in the air. This jumping knocked the phone off the small table and sent the receiver rattling to the floor.

"Hello? Hello! Is anyone there?" the voice on the other line demanded. Composing myself and taking a deep breath, I answered the phone as confidently as I could.

"Hullo"

"Yes, Is this the party we contacted regarding our specific inquiry?"

"Yes. I…"

"May I have the security clearance code given to you on the message before we continue please?" said the voice in a hauty tone.

"Erm, sure. Hang on a bit, I scratched it down. Ah, here it is. 6-927-841…."

"Thank you, please hold."

At this point, the line went dead and my ears were bombarded with muggle wanna-be movie and sinning star, Ms. Jennifer Lopez.

"DON'T BE FOOLED BY DA ROCKS THAT I GOT"

dear lord, pick up the phone

"I'M STILL I'M STILL JENNIE FROM THE BLOCK"

seriously, pick up

"USED TO HAVE A LITTLE, BUT I HAVE A LOT

This is not worth financial solvency

"Hello? I'm sorry for the wait dear, Mr. Lawrence will speak with you now."

Finally

"Hiyah, kiddo. Listen, you are really helping us out of a bind here, but before you say anything, let me make one thing clear. We are trying to keep this as undercover as possible, so if you would like to use an alias, that is fine with us. We have your billing info and will transfer money to anywhere that you want. So, before I tell you who you will be representing, what is your name, honey."

Shit, I wasn't expecting this

"Um, well. How about Dora?"

Way to be creative, Tonks

" Great, and last name."

Think of something dramatic. Awe-inspiring. THINK GIRL!

"Uhhh, Konks?"

Nice, moron

"Oh, like the shell. Great. Now Dora, I know that you have our body type and facial features that we are looking for, so I'm going to go ahead and tell you whom you will be representing. She a fairly notable figure and I'm sure you can tell if you would be suited for this job simply by looking in your mirror. Any questions so far?"

"Well, ummm"

"I'll go ahead and get right to it. Mrs. Jennifer Anthony-Lopez desires you to impersonate her and be a decoy for the paparazzi while she and her husband vacation in Europe for two weeks…"

Oh shi...

"Now, I know you are probably speechless with joy and honor that you have been chosen to represent Mrs. Lopez-Anthony…

Barf, gag, retch, hurl, tosses cookies to the wind

"… But Mrs. Lopez-Anthony not only will pay you with that honor but also with ten thousand dollars."

Huh?

"I'm sorry, what did you just say"

"Well, 'I know you are probably speechless with joy and honor.'"

"I'm sorry again, but what was the dollar amount"

"Ten Thousand Dollars. Can we go ahead and count on you?"

Dammit Nymphie, you don't want to get yourself into this. Cameras will be following you everywhere! How will you be able to work for the order and fulfill your duties at the ministry? Just borrow some money from your parents to pay your bills. Swallow your pride and ask for help….

"I'll take it. Give me the details"

Way to go, Nymphie. Way. To. Go.