Hmm…Don't ask me where this came from…
Pt. 2
Rory was curled up on the couch, the cordless phone under her ear and Hephaestus in her arms.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Mom."
"Offspring!" Lorelai cried. "I'm so glad you called. You have to convince Luke that killing Taylor is a bad idea."
"I think I'm far too late for that," Rory replied. "What did Taylor do this time?"
"Put colored lights outside the diner."
"Colored?"
"Colored."
Rory shook her head. "He should have known better. What color?"
"Red."
"Uh-oh."
"Yeah, so now Luke wants to keep chainsaw in the diner," Lorelai explained.
"Not good."
"Not at all," Lorelai sighed. "Okay, so you probably had a reason for calling. What's up? What do you need?"
"Uh..."
"Rory...what?"
"Well..."
"Well? Well what?"
"What did Luke put in your coffee?" Rory asked. "I'm getting there."
"Is something wrong?"
"No! No, this is a good thing...I hope."
"You're moving back?" Lorelai asked hopefully.
"No."
"Damn! Then what is it?"
"Well...Mom...Uhm..."
"OH! Jess died in a horrific car accident and you got remarried to Prince William!"
"Mom!"
"Macaulay Culkin?"
"Hanging up now."
"Okay, I'm done joking," Lorelai said with a laugh. "What's up?"
"I'm..."
"Getting married."
Rory paused, obviously annoyed. "I've been married for a year, mom."
"Haha...you get it?" Lorelai laughed nerdily. "Cause...yeah, Okay. I'm done. What is it?"
Rory sighed. "Okay. I'm-"
"Oh, my god!" Lorelai cried.
Rory groaned. "What!"
"Kirk is-"
"Mom! I'm pregnant!"
"Okay, babe, but Kirk- What!"
"I'm having a baby!" Rory yelled. "When a man and a woman love each other very much, they...do very naughty things and then nine months later, the woman experiences ripping, horrible pain, while trying to squeeze a human life out of her-"
"I know that!"
They sat in silence.
"It's not April fools, is it?" Lorelai asked.
"It's January," Rory replied.
"So you're not kidding."
"No."
"And Jess didn't put you up to this."
"No, Mom."
"And you're absolutely sure."
Rory tried not to smirk. "The doctor wouldn't tell me I'm pregnant if I wasn't."
"Doctors know nothing," Lorelai snapped. "They're useless."
"And now you sound like Luke," Rory pointed out.
Lorelai groaned. "Damn that man for rubbing off on me."
Rory giggled. "Dirty."
They sat in more silence.
"So…You're really having a baby?" Lorelai asked.
Rory nodded. "I am."
Lorelai smiled. "Oh, Sweets…that's amazing. That's…I'm gonna be a grandma."
"Yeah," Rory said softly.
"I'm so old," Lorelai commented factually.
Rory laughed. "Think of how Grandma feels."
Lorelai gasped. "Oh, my god!" she giggled. "Emily is gonna be a great-grandmother! Remind me to start calling her Trix."
"Mom!"
"Kidding!"
They sat in more silence.
Rory smiled. "I'm gonna come over."
"Okay!" Lorelai smiled. "Remember to leave Jess a note, so he doesn't think you ran away with his baby."
"If I have to," Rory sighed dramatically. She smiled. "See you soon." She hung up the phone, kissed the little teddy bear that sat next to her on the forehead, and rushed to get ready to leave.
