When Grace got back from her day out with Judy, Jessie and Katie, Rick and Lily were already home and in deep conversation with Eli. He sat in the big single chair in the lounge room while Lily and Rick sat on the three seater opposite him. They were firing a million and one questions at him, and he answered each one with precision and calm. Grace had never thought Eli's job could be all that interesting, clearly she guessed wrong seeming as Rick and Lily were enthralled by the conversation. Something about Eli going out for a new position?
Judy had offered to drive Jessie and Katie back to their apartment. It was 6:30, and Grace had nothing to do now that the girls were gone.
The day had been thoroughly boring infact, the four of them had gone for a coffee at a lakeside café, Jessie and Katie had chatted on and on about every tiny detail of their wedding. The whole time Grace just sat there thinking how odd it was that people become so caught up in the 'big day', especially those you would never guess to be such perfectionists about the number of flowers that will be set on each table. But she listened intently none the less, smiling, nodding and asking useless questions like what style of shoes Jessie wanted. High heel, low heel, no heel?
As she walked through the front door, Eli lifted his head, but didn't nod or smile at Grace to acknowledge her arrival- she didn't know why that bothered her slightly.
"Hello honey! Have a nice day with the girls?" Lily asked.
Grace gave a small nod, "yep" was all she murmured.
"Dinner will be ready in an hour!" Lily added, and then turned back to Eli, firing him another question.
Grace rolled her eyes and slowly walked up the stairs, she turned her head and watched as the three of them spoke intently. Eli looked up at her just as she reached the top, and then looked back to his father as he asked a question- Grace took note of that aswell.
She collapsed on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, just thinking about how; even her room smelt the same as it did 5 years ago. And then a thought hit her, Carol!
She sat up and grabbed her cordless phone from the side of her bed, dialling the number of her dorm room. Carol let it ring 5 times before picking up.
"Hey, who's this?"
"Grace!"
"Uh! Grace! Why the hell didn't you call me when you first arrived?"
Grace groaned, that's what she forgot to do when she got home! "Oh! Sorry Carol, it totally left my mind!"
"You're plane could have crashed!………the taxi driver could have taken you down a deserted road and killed you!………anything, and I wouldn't have known!"
Grace let out a small laugh, "well I'm here and I'm fine! Thankyou for worrying!"
"No problem, anytime!"
Grace lay back down on her bed, staring up at the ceiling again; "so how is school?"
"Don't give me that!" Carol snapped.
"What!"
"I don't want to talk about school! I want to talk about you and that lover boy of your's!"
Grace sighed, "not him again!"
"Yes him again!" she replied instantly, "of course him again! Have you seen him? What's he look like? Was it love at first sight? Is he married? Ugly? Bald?"
Grace laughed, "no!……he's still fairly handsome……..a lot more suave and up-tight……..still has hair……..not married……I don't know anything about his marital status, actually!"
Carol sighed, "Have you talked to him at all, girly?"
Grace closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip, "actually…. we had this really strange first meeting…at about midnight…." She said, wincing when she heard Carol squeal.
"What happened? I want details!"
"I don't know…. It was just strange…there were weird vibes…and I couldn't help noticing how much he'd changed…it was just a very…strange first meeting!"
"And since then, you haven't talked to him much?"
"Nope…and I sort of want to keep it that way…I don't really want to know anything about the new Eli!"
"Why? I didn't even know the old Eli and I am dying to know all about the new Eli!"
Grace laughed, and Carol joined her after a moment, and then Grace sighed and rubbed her forehead; "I don't want to know the new Eli because….I'm still in love with the old Eli…and I guess I just want to keep that image of the guy I fell for, rather then transform him in my mind, you know?"
"Yeah…I know…"
Grace let out a small laugh; "what?" Carol asked.
"You want to know something really stupid?"
"Hmm…"
"I act like a total idiot around him!" Grace laughed, covering her face with one hand as she remembered bumping foreheads and her tweety bird pyjamas.
"What? Grace Manning, embarrassed around a guy? That does not compute honey!"
"I know! I know! But so far I've worn my tweety bird pyjamas around him, and my big fluffy, orange nightgown….and I bumped heads with him this morning….and I mumble and blush…how weird is that?" Grace laughed.
"Sounds like this guy is special if he can throw man-eater, Grace Manning, off balance like that!"
"No…it's not that…it's just how I used to act around him, when I was a giggly teenage girl! I guess some things just never change!"
Grace heard something in the background, "I gotta go darls! call me tomorrow, ok?"
"Ok! Bye Carol, love you!"
"Love you too bosom buddy!"
Grace hung up her phone and stared at the ceiling again.
GRACE some things never change…will I always be a 16 year old girl around Eli? Is that all he sees me as now? Or can he see the woman I've turned into?
"Pass the potatoes" Zoe asked.
Lily eyed her, "please!" she ordered.
Zoe rolled her eyes, "please?" she asked Eli, who passed her the bowl.
"Thankyou!" Lily ordered, this time Zoe didn't say anything else, and Lily sighed angrily.
"Can I please have some bread?" Grace asked Rick. But Eli was quicker; he reached for the basket and handed it to her, their fingers touching slightly.
Lily had made them sit beside one another. They were uncomfortable about it, and kept fidgeting, not that Rick or Lily noticed.
"Thanks" Grace murmured, taking a piece.
"So…I have decided to take up the drums!" Zoe announced.
"What! Over my dead body!" Lily hissed back!
"Mum! Do not come in the way of my creative genius! I need to explore my imagination and soul!" Zoe spat back, sitting up straight.
Grace looked from her mother to Zoe, and back again. They both flashed the same evil stare at the other, pursed their lips, and raised an eyebrow.
"I will not have you thumping on drums every second of the day and night! I just wont!" Lily commanded.
"You're suppressing my dreams, mother!"
Grace couldn't believe how alike her mother and Zoe were. Both beautiful and determined. They could seem weak one moment and invincible the next. She wished she had more of her mother in her, like Zoe.
"Well so be it for some peace and quiet!" Lily retorted, taking a sip of her wine.
Zoe pushed her chair out and stood up, "so much for me taking Albert up on his offer of me joining his band!" she said, hoarsely.
"Zoe sit back down, please," Rick asked, rubbing his forehead. Grace suddenly understood why he had so many wrinkles, after 5 long years with these two at each other's throat.
"Sit down young lady!" Lily ordered as Zoe started walking away.
"I'm going to my room!" she called over her shoulder as she raced up the stairs, leaving the dining table in silence.
Eli and Grace exchanged uncomfortable glances, and then stared back down at their plate.
"Does that happen often?" Grace finally asked, looking to her mother and Rick.
Rick nodded solemnly.
Lily shrugged, "Its because I let her chop off her beautiful hair! Ever since then she has turned into a spiteful little thing!" she muttered.
"Last week she wanted to turn the garage into an art studio" Rick said, and then stuffed a piece of carrot into his mouth.
Eli gave a small nod, "kids!" he sighed, as if understanding exactly what Lily and Rick were going through.
Grace let out a small laugh and shoved him with her elbow, "I'm sure you know all about it!" she said, sarcastically.
Eli looked at her and smiled.
"Its so nice to have you two here again!" Lily suddenly said, and they both looked to her smiling face.
"I don't think you two have been under the same roof for….5 years?" Rick said, frowning.
Grace and Eli looked nervously at each other, then at the same time they said "no…there was that time…at Christmas…we saw each other!…"
They stopped speaking and laughed at their unison.
Lily shook her head, "no! Not that I recall…I think this is the first time you've seen one another in 5 years!"
Eli turned to Grace, who looked in the other direction as she broke her bread in two; "I guess it is," she murmured flatly.
"I didn't even realize" Eli added, as he pushed the food on his plate around with a fork.
Before Lily could open her mouth and say more on the topic, Grace cut in chirpily, saying "I think Ill go over to dad's tonight…I haven't seen him yet…"
Lily gave a small nod, "of course…but wouldn't you want to leave that until tomorrow?"
Grace shook her head, "no, I'll go tonight!" she said, sternly "I'll ask Zoe if she wants to come aswell!"
Eli looked at her from the corner of his eye; could she make her discomfort anymore obvious?
Lily gave another nod, "oh…all right…if you feel like you need to go over there…" she murmured, staring down at her plate.
Grace felt Eli's eyes, but refused to meet his gaze, instead she scoffed the rest of her food down, excused herself, and dragged Zoe out of her room.
"Say hello to Jake for me!" Lily called as the two girls walked out the door.
"I saw dad last week!" Zoe grumbled, folding her arms.
Grace didn't say anything, only stared at the road ahead.
"Why did you have to drag me along, huh?" Zoe complained again.
Grace looked at her sister for a moment, and then back to the road.
"Are you on something?" Grace suddenly asked, catching Zoe totally off guard.
"What? Oh my god! Pull the goddam car over! I don't need this!" Zoe said, reaching for the door handle.
Grace sighed, and hit the auto-lock on the panel beside her, "well, are you?" she asked again.
Zoe gave up on the door and turned to her sister with a scowl, "your crazy, asking me something like that!" she pointed to her head, "totally mental! You know that?"
"Well look at you, Zoe!" Grace exclaimed, looking at her for a moment. Black, spiky hair, dark eyes and lips…torn, baggy clothes. "Where did my little sister go, huh?"
"What the hell are YOU on?" Zoe muttered, leaning back in her seat and crossing her arms, tight, over her chest.
"Well, god Zoe! No one knows what to do with you, do you know that?" Grace didn't know why she was getting so fired up about this subject, she didn't even know where the idea of Zoe doing drugs came from- she knew it was totally insane and impossible. Maybe she was just venting some built-up frustration about the perplexing Eli? Though she would never admit that to herself.
Zoe didn't respond, she just pouted and avoided looking at Grace, which only angered her sister more.
"Mum keeps telling herself it's a phase you're going through…. poor Rick has no clue what's going on between you and mum…and I would hate to think what dad is feeling about his daughter turning into a punk princess!" Grace spoke sharply, not taking her eyes off the road.
"Shut-up Grace!" Zoe spat angrily, in an attempt to silence her sister.
Grace sighed, and turned to Zoe, who was wearing a sullen, hurt face.
"I'm…I'm sorry Zoe" Grace muttered, "Its not that…" she started, but Zoe cut in, angrily.
"As if I don't get enough bad-mouthing at school, Grace! From people who don't even know me but think they have the right to judge me by how I look! I do not need that from my own sister aswell, ok?"
Grace hadn't heard Zoe sound so… human…in a long time! She was so used to hearing a bitter tongue from her sister, or getting the silent treatment.
There was a thick silence in the car for a long time. Zoe hugged herself tight and Grace continued to look straight ahead, neither of them daring to say anything… until Grace finally mustered the courage.
"I really am sorry," she mumbled.
"Don't be!" Zoe replied quickly, "Its ok that you think I'm a freak…everyone else does!"
"I don't think you're a freak, Zoe!" Grace said, defensively.
Zoe huffed at her response, "yes you do, and its ok…I guess I kind of am, in a way?"
Grace looked at her from the corner of her eye, "no! Your not!" she sighed, gripping the wheel hard; "You're just trying to find a release for yourself…" she felt Zoe soften as she spoke, and continued; "you're trying on different personalities until you find one that suits you…and that's fine…that's what being a teenager is all about!"
Zoe continued to stare out her window, but listened intently to Grace, none the less.
"And those people who tease you at school…they're just jealous…because they can see that your happy with who you are….with the personality you've found…and they just wish they had that same kind of security…that's all it is, Zoe!"
"You know that doesn't really help me right now…" Zoe croaked.
Grace sighed again, "I know! Because you're 16 and it feels like the entire world is against you, you don't fit in anywhere and you're not sure that you ever will…and right now you just wish everything would be simple and understandable instead of complicated and everything you wish it wasn't!" Grace sighed again, and looked at Zoe quickly before turning into her father's street; "I was there once aswell, Zoe…I had my releases and personality changes aswell…"
"What was you're release?" Zoe asked.
GRACE Eli
Grace straightened in her seat and gripped the wheel, "acting…I could do things I would never normally do…I could transform myself into people I could only ever dream of being…it was my everything!"
"Mine is music…and this…" Zoe said, motioning to her outfit.
Grace nodded, "if it helps…"
Zoe nodded, "it does…" she whispered.
Grace gave a small smile, which Zoe soon reflected; "you know…mum doesn't get me…neither does dad!"
Grace let out a small laugh, "I know that feeling…" she said, whimsically; "maybe they're just too old to remember what being a teenager is all about!"
Zoe laughed aswell, "hmm…they are pretty ancient!"
Zoe uncrossed her arms and pushed a spike of hair from her face, "I think you get me though, Grace…cause it wasn't so long ago that you were in this position and everything…"
Grace smiled wider, and turned to her sister, "Well you know, you can talk to me whenever you want…night or day…I'm just a phone call away…always, ok?"
Zoe nodded, and then looked out her window again, "I'll remember that" she murmured.
Grace pulled into her father's driveway, but before she got out, she rested a hand on Zoe's shoulder.
"Finding yourself can be real difficult, Zo" she murmured, "and finding yourself isn't all that life is about…it's more about creating yourself…remember that aswell, ok?" she added, with a simple smile.
Zoe gave a small nod, not wanting to express how cheesy that really sounded, but taking it in anyway, "ok" she murmured in response, and opened the car door.
"Is that my big girl?"
Grace smiled when she heard her father's voice; he was standing on the porch smiling at her- having heard the car pull up.
"Hi dad!" Grace said, walking into his arms.
His hug was strong and protective- it hadn't changed since she was a little girl, and she hoped that it never would.
"Hey dad" Zoe said, lagging behind Grace.
"Zoe!" Jake exclaimed, releasing Grace, and kissing Zoe's forehead; "I just love what you've done to you're hair…" he murmured flatly as he motioned for the girls to step inside the house, Zoe and Grace both giggled.
Tiffany was sitting in the middle of the lounge room with little Domonique, who was 4 yeas old now, with a tuft of curly, blonde hair and big, baby blue eyes.
"Grace!" Tiffany exclaimed, standing up and embracing her stepdaughter.
"Hey Tiffany!" she turned to her baby brother, "Hello Dommy!" she said, with a wide, toothy smile.
Domonique looked up, with a frown on his face; "Gwace!" he said, sternly.
"Oh, he's just grumpy because he didn't get a good nap today!" Tiffany assured Grace.
"Oh! Zoe I just….err…love you're hair?" Tiffany said, examining Zoe's new do.
The two girls couldn't hold in their laughter now, and were in stitches- Tiffany, Domonique and Jake looking at them completely bewildered.
"Gwace and Zo lafing!" Domonique pointed out.
