Chapter 7

I walked back upstairs in a state of shock, confusion, anger and peckishness ( I should have grabbed something besides the butterbeer.) Ginny and Hermione started in on me as soon as I had the door closed

"What the heck do you think THAT was all about.."

"You better watch yourself, Tonks. It sounds like Snape might be gunning for you…"

"Snape CAN'T be gunning for Tonks, Herms. He's asexual. If you cut off his finger, in a week there would be another Snape.."

"Oh Gin, that's ridiculous…"

"What do you think, Tonks?"

I had been staring off into space, letting a perfectly good butter beer get warm.

"Um, well…OH HELLS BELLS! That man is just trying to throw me off! Don't you see, he probably picks on everyone like that…."

"No, not really. That's why we want to know if there is anything going on…"

Oh Hell No

"What in the name of Morgana Le Fey do you mean. Ms. Ginny? You think that we have been carrying on a secret relationship? You think we've been snogging upstairs while Albus and everyone else risks their lives for muggles and wizards everywhere? You think that Fluer and I sit around and read Cosmo to find out special tips to drive our men wild while YOUR Best Friend and YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY work their arses off? Unlike certain French-Paris-Hilton-Wanna-Be's, I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR A RELATIONSHIP. NOT THAT I WOULDN'T WANT ONE, BUT I'M TO BUSY SAVING THE FREAKING PLANET."

After that little diatribe, Ginny just stared at me open-mouthed while Hermione cracked up laughing.

"Tonks, what is Cosmo and who is Paris Hilton…"

Throwing in muggle refrences tends to amuse half-bloods and annoy everyone else. I thought that Hermione was going to have a stroke, she laughed so hard.

A few days later, I received a text message on the cell phone. Apparently J-Lo and her beau were arriving via private jet the later that night. She would make a big show of checking into 41 ( a VERY POSH hotel in Westminster ) and then under cover of very late night she would leave for destinations unknown. However, it would be leaked to the press that she would be in London for two nights and days. I was to already be in the hotel and would follow the itinerary as scheduled. Harrods lunch then back to the hotel. After arriving back at the hotel, I could either take advantage of the hotel's services or I could leave and make my scheduled appearances the next day from my domicile. Then I was to take the rental car that would be provided for me and arrive at the airport. That was it. I was thinking of this as a dry run for the Order, at least that is how I was justifying it in my mind. I felt horribly guilty about this whole thing, and I really didn't know why. Maybe it was the whole getting paid twice thing. O well, it couldn't be helped. If I told J-Lo's management that I was doing them a freebie, they probably wouldn't take me very seriously. Plus the fact that this was putting tons of pressure on me. I couldn't trip, fall, stumble or any of the normal things that usually accompany me as I walk through life. I had to become a different person in front of cameras and reports that would shout it from the rooftops around the globe if I should stumble.

So yeah, it was a lot of pressure. As I got a shower, and put myself into some clothes, I got more and more nervous. There was a special code that I was to tell the security at the door to let me in and escort me to the room. Clothes and a make-up artist would be there to J-Loify me for the press. Then Jennifer and Anthony would leave and I would be on for the next couple of days.

Just keep telling yourself, It's a Job, It's a job….

Oh shit….

After taking the tube to the Westminster area, I started walking towards the hotel. The street was lined with men with lenses that looked like they could photograph a gnat on Venus. Local news had staked out a spot on the corner and various entertainment flunkies sat in wait for their golden girl. Thank goodness there was no one from the wizard press there. Or was there…

Almost hidden behind camera tripods, I spied the twinkle of jeweled spectacles. Tight blonde curls bobbed up and down as she conversed with some of the cameramen.

Crap.

What the hell was Rita Skeeter doing here? Had she gotten wind of the celebrity threats? I was going to have to remember this. I'm sure that Albus would have a theory.

I was wearing sunglasses and a large baseball hat and a large non-descript sweatshirt with jeans. Some cameras-wielders gave me a look, but decided that I was not of interest. Skeeter, however, seemed to stare at me for an unusually long time. I walked up to the doorman and whispered the password.

"English muffins with lemon curd."

The large, muscled doorman showed me to the front desk where I was met by a mousey older woman that directed me to the service elevator.

" Dear, just make yourself at home in the room. There's Champaign, sandwiches and fruit available for you to munch on while you wait for your cousin. I hope you enjoy your stay here at 41 and if there is anything that we can do for you during your stay, please let us know. Mrs. Anthony-Lopez (can't she come to a conclusion on what her name is?) told us that you were to have all our features at your disposal."

Cousin? O well, if it threw off the hotel staff to the rouse, then I was OK with it.

I didn't have long to wait. From the window, I watched as a cute Mini-Cooper pulled up and two people in long coats, hats and sunglasses. Cameras flashed and people rushed forward. Pulling out some of the twin's extendable ears, I noticed that Rita was screaming questions at the dapper couple…

"MEESSS LOPEZ, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE THREATS AGAINST YOU AND OTHER MUGGLE CELEBRITES?"

O brother, J-Lo probably doesn't realize that she's in danger! I don't really feel like putting up with a freaked out drama queen celebrity…

"MEESSS LOPEZ, WILL THIS PUT A DAMPER ON YOUR TRIPS? DO YOU HAVE AN OPINION ON THE RE-EMERGANCE OF HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED?"

Is that woman out of her jug? Asking Jennifer Lopez about Voldie-Oldie is like asking Anna Nicole Smith about sobriety. It's a subject that they know nothing about and that can only scare them

I fired off a quick silencing spell. Rita's lips kept moving, but thankfully her obnoxious voice had been stopped.

Meanwhile, Lopez and Anthony headed inside the hotel. I could already tell that it was going to be a long couple of days…