Huh?
Part III
Pairings: Primarily Buffy and Faith, but that doesn't preclude other stuff.
Summary: A story set post " Chosen ". Really rather defies summarization, but it's about the Chosen Two, Buffy and Faith. Do we ever really know someone else until we know ourselves?
Timeline/ Spoilers: Set post Season 7, so it will probably include references from the prior 7 seasons. Hope you've seen them by now( all out on DVD).
Rating: R
Legal stuff : You betcha. The characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox. I'm just borrowing them. Trust me, I'm not making anything on writing this.
Disclaimer: Sex, drugs and rock and roll? Not good for you…ok, well except maybe the last. Everything is fair game, so if something offends you, sorry. I'm not perfect, and I'm not PC. If you don't like the idea of women being in love with each other, this is NOT the story for you. Also, not the story for you if you're birth date is after 1986. Oh, and if you're heavily religious? This story probably won't appeal to you either. Ooops.
-1-
" YES!"
She screams it out as she feels the familiar tightening in her belly as the orgasm approaches. Her whole body is on fire, and her lover has been teasing her for what seems like hours. She needs release, and she needs it now.
Buffy's head tosses side to side on the pillow, her body covered in a fine sheen of sweat. Her eyes have a glazed look to them, and her face is flushed. She is ready, so ready to cum she can't hardly stand it. But her lover loves to torture her , bring her to the edge then back off. It's driving her wild.
" Do it, do it, oh GOD DO IT!" She screams, looking down between her legs at her lover's head.
She sees Faith look up, her lips and chin covered in Buffy's juices, her eyes bright and dancing in delight. Her lips are curled in a smirk, and she deliberately licks her lips, seeming to tease Buffy further. The sight seems to drive Buffy over the edge, and she feels the whole world explode about her, everything going white.
"FAAAAIITTTTTHHH!"
Buffy shoots upright in bed, covered in a cold sweat. The light from the morning is dim, it's a gray day outside. She feels herself shiver, and also feels another familiarly damp feeling between her legs. She's alone in the bed, except for the fragments of the dream she was having and the spreading wetness on the sheet beneath her.
Aw, Crap! Not again! Shit, shit, and crap!She knows she's had another one of those dreams again, and it's just as embarrassing as when she had them as a teenager. Worse, because there was no hope to end them, and it just made her day start out crappy.
Disgusted with herself, she swings her feet out of bed, grabbing the sheet to throw over her. It's a chilly morning, and her shivering from the sweat and fluids is getting worse. Hot shower should help that… then a cold one to cool off. Damn. Why is this happening to me? Why can't I just forget her?
As she passes the French doors leading to the balcony on her second floor flat, she notices the day is gray and overcast. She expression is glum. Paris in spring my ass! Seems like it's been overcast since I got here.
Buffy has been in Paris for a month. She's currently assigned to find slayers in France, recruiting them and arranging for them to be trained. Working with a Council supplied interpreter, since her French is limited to baguette and haute couture, it's been slow work. It seems every candidate in France is far flung in the countryside, and she's barely been in Paris, much less seen the sights. And now, that flake of an interpreter has gone and quit, and I've got another one arriving this morning. Swell. I was just getting used to Michel's quirks. Wonder what the new one's gonna be like? She sighs, figuring it'll be another one of these snooty French guys with a bug up their butts about her not speaking la belle français. Guess I should've paid more attention in French class in high school. Oh well.
Noting the time on her little alarm clock, which didn't go off, I might add, she rushes to the bathroom. The new guy…girl? Giles didn't say… is supposed to be here in less than an hour, and she's going to be no good at all unless she's cleaned up and has some coffee first. Won't make a great first impression if I bite his or her head off cuz I'm caffeine deprived. Entering the bathroom, she looks at the tub longingly. God I wish I had time for a soak. I could reaaaalllly use it! But she lets the sheet fall, and reaching over, turns on the shower taps. Climbing in, she pulls the curtain around the tub, and lets the needle like water wash over her.
It's been eight months since the incident at the guest house in L.A., and Buffy has been in Europe for most of that time. She's been working on recruiting slayers for the council, giving her a good excuse to stay away from the U.S. Somehow, she didn't want to go home… not for a long time, not until the, as she calls it, Fiasco of Faith fades from everybody's mind. She's humiliated herself in the past, sure. But this was the worst. The days after, knowing Faith was still in the hotel, probably laughing at her, was torture deluxe. Buffy did her best to avoid her, turning around if she saw her, hiding in her room. The very few times Buffy did run into her, Faith just stared at her like she were a particularly unpleasant specie of bug. Buffy felt herself redden, and she would slink away like a whipped puppy. She counted the seconds until the time she could leave for Europe. She'd never been so anxious to start a job in her life!
She spent a couple months in Italy, primarily Rome, because she wanted to get Dawn settled into her new school. She made side trips to various countries to check out rumors of girls with ' extraordinary strength'. A lot were just rumors, some were just healthy farm girls, and a few, very few, yielded results.
Once she was sure Dawn was doing ok in the American University in Rome, she started moving from country to country, spending time following up leads about possible slayers. She spent time in Spain, in Germany, Switzerland and Belgium. Now she was in France, and so far, she wasn't overly impressed. Sure, lots and lots of history, and beautiful sights, but this is supposed to be the season for France, and it's really been gray and overcast. Boy, leave it to me to ruin France!
Scrubbing herself rigorously, she cleanses off the leftovers of her little dream. That's just what I'd need. The new guy smelling my odor. Wouldn't that start things off on the right foot, huh? She feels irritated, because she just can't stop the stupid dreams. Consciously, she's left her obsession for Faith behind. It was an insane time, and I went a little insane. It … wasn't happening, and my stupidity just wouldn't see it wasn't happening. I went a little over the top… ok, I went major over the top, but that's past. In the past. Done, over, let's move on already. So, why doesn't the dreaming part of my brain get it? Damn!
Finishing up, she turns off the shower, grabbing a towel to dry off. She's just about done when she hears knocking at her door.
What the hell? I wasn't IN there that long!" Hold on, one moment, please. Er, Seulement une moment , s'il vous plaît. Moi seront équitable y." She calls out in a very un-French like accent. Looking at the clock as she throws on a robe, she curses. Damn, figures. I get the eager beaver chomping at the bit to get started. Geeze, get a life! Not supposed to be here for another 30 minutes! Crap! Making sure the robe is firmly cinched, running the brush quickly through her hair, Buffy stomps through the bedroom and the tiny front sitting room, grumbling a little to herself. The knock repeats itself just as she's reaching for the doorknob.
" Ok, ok, I'm here, already!" Buffy says, frowning. God, don't you know the meaning of " Wait a minute?" Geeze!
Buffy opens the door, leaving the chain in place, and talks through the crack.
" Look, you're early and I'm not ready yet. If you could come back…"
Standing in the hallway, carrying two suitcases, is a red headed girl. Her head is cocked to the side, and she's grinning ear to ear.
" Bonjour , Mesdemoiselles Summers. Je comprends vous êtes dans nécessité de une interprète?" Willow says in perfect French. " Eh bein , voici Je suis. Quand font nous trouver commencer? "( Good morning, Ms. Summers. I understand you are looking for an interpreter? Well, here I am. When do you want to get started?)
Buffy, surprised, stands staring at Willow through the crack in the door.
" Huh?" She asks, not understanding any of this. " Willow?"
Willow grins at the slice of Buffy's face she can see through the space between the doorjamb and the door. She looks like she's about to have kittens, Willow chuckles to herself.
" Buff, think you can open the door now? I mean, as hallways goes, this is ok, but I think I'd rather be inside now… and the cases?" She hefts them up a little, " not getting any lighter!"
The door closes then flies open, and Willow is almost bowled over by Hurricane Buffy. She feels herself lifted into the air, and starts to laugh.
WILLOW!" Buffy screams happily, hugging Willow tightly and twirling the taller girl in a circle.
" Buffy, " Willow shrieks, " BUFFEE! Stop. I'm getting dizzy!"
" Oh, gosh, sorry Will. I'm just so happy to see you!" Buffy dances around her , as Willow, a little woozy, sits on her haunches, the weight of her bags pulling her down. Despite that, she's giggling, seeing Buffy so jazzed up.
" What're you doing here, Will? What was that about you were saying? I think I caught interpret in there or something?" before Willow can say anything, Buffy grabs her into another hug." Are you real? I mean, really here? I can't believe this!" Buffy can't remember feeling this happy in awhile.
" Ummm… Buff? Think we can get my bags inside? Me too? Kinda feeling woozily here. I gotta remember NOT to surprise you!" Willow stands up. She reaches for her bags, but Buffy has already grabbed them, and is heading into her flat.
" Well, c'mon, Will. Don't stand out there all day, " Buffy says, turning and walking into the flat.
Willow cocks her head, looking at the back of Buffy as it disappears through the door. She's grinning.
' Hey, Will, hope I didn't make you too dizzy there'. She shakes her head. That's so Buffy!
Shrugging, she follows her in.
-2-
" I'm sorry, Will. I didn't hear you. I was taking a shower, " Buffy says, emerging from the bedroom, now fully dressed. She's wearing a loose turtleneck sweater, a pair of jeans and running shoes. Her hair is tied back in a pony tail. She's wearing no makeup. " Were you waiting long?"
Willow is sitting on the small settee in the tiny front room. She's been looking around Buffy's flat. She notices that there is nothing personal about the place… it looks rather Spartan. Goodness, this could be a hotel room. If she hadn't answered the door, I wouldn't know she lives here. There aren't even any pictures out!
" No, not really. Just kind of taken by surprise by your surprise. Didn't Giles tell you I was coming?"
" Er… no. Giles only told me I was getting another interpreter after the last one flaked."
" Flaked? What happened?"
" I dunno. We were interviewing a potential slayer, and her family was there. The interpreter either misunderstood me, or said the wrong thing, but the crux was, the girls father got enraged. He went into another room, and came out carrying a shotgun. Well, we had to kind of run like bunnies to keep from getting our butts being blown off. I asked the guy what he said, but he just shrugged. I think he totally lost it, because next day he quit and rather faded out fast." Buffy is laughing.
" Geeze, what did he say?" Willow asks, a little wide-eyed.
" Dunno, and I didn't want to hang around to find out. Not with the business end of a shotgun pointed at me. I've never seen any family member get so mad before. Whatever he said, or implied, it must've been really snarky!"
" What happened to the girl?"
" Haven't a clue, " Buffy shrugs," didn't want to face Papa again. Guns? Never useful." Buffy gives Willow a sidelong glance, " so, why are you here, Willow? I thought you were all partying it down in sunny Rio." Buffy looks out the windows, " you can't tell me you're here for the weather."
" Well, Giles told me you were in need of someone who spoke French, and hey, I speak French, and I always wanted to see Paris, and it's the perfect time, right? Springtime in Paris and all," Willow glances out the same window Buffy did, " ok, maybe right now not the perfect picture postcard weather, but it's gonna get better, and did I tell you I wanted to see Paris? Oh, how's Dawnie doing, by the way? Did she get into the American University at Rome? How IS Rome, by the way? I want to see that too, and I figure after Paris maybe we can…"
" Ok, the real reason now, Will?"
" I told you the real reason, Buffy, geeze, what? Do you want me to take a lie detector test or something? Boy, come to help out a friend, and you get the third degree around here. You know it wasn't easy to get here, long plane flight and with all the security, a real pain, but did that stop me? No, I came because you needed help and now …." She looks at Buffy's impassive face, and cracks, " … are you buying any of this?"
Buffy shakes her head, not smiling.
Willow sighs, and seems to deflate. Buffy comes over, sits next to her and puts an arm around her shoulders, hugging her.
" So, what's really going on, Will?" Her tone is gentle.
Willow shrugs slightly, and looks away.
" I just needed to get away, Buffy, " Willow doesn't look at Buffy, " things weren't going so good in Brazil." She doesn't elaborate.
She doesn't have to.
" Kennedy?" Buffy asks, her expression tight.
Willow nods. She catches Buffy's expression out of the corner of her eye.
" Don't blame her, Buffy. It wasn't all her, " Willow says, " I'm to blame too. She tried, she really did, " Willow sees Buffy's skeptical expression, " she did, Buffy. But we're just too different, you know? We … we just don't like the same things. I mean, why should she have to change for me, anyway? That's just selfish, you know?" Willow, caught in her own memory, doesn't see the effect that has on Buffy. " But we tried, both of us. She tried to get into stuff I liked, and I tried to be out there, go where she wanted to go, do what she wanted to do. But I guess … I guess…" Willow's voice gets a tremor in it, " I guess we just couldn't bend enough, either of us. Can't put it on her, that isn't fair, " Willow's voice is getting definitely shaky now, and Buffy's arm tightens around her, " I… I mean she's young, Buffy. Heck, she's barely 20. S-She's not ready to c-commit to anything y-yet. It … it w-was silly to t-think she was r-ready to settle down … "
Willow goes quiet for awhile, trying to hold on, get herself back together. Buffy just sits quietly by her, not speaking, just holding her.
" It was Sunnydale, Buffy, " Willow says, her voice calmer, " We were both feeling lost, looking for some comfort, I think. I think she just… I just… " Willow shrugs, " We just wanted something to hold onto. It was a scary time for both of us, you know?"
" Sure, Will, I know, " Buffy strokes her hair, " it was scary for us all. We all held onto things that in the end weren't going to happen, " Buffy is thinking of Spike, and how he died. How she wishes she could've felt for him what he felt for her. Her eyes get bright.
Willow misinterprets Buffy's nostalgia, thinking of Faith.
" Don't, Buffy. Don't do this to yourself. You loved her, and thought you had a shot. You made a mistake, don't keep beating yourself up about it!"
" Who are you talking about, Will? I was thinking about Spike, " Buffy's voice gets an odd note to it, " I was just thinking if we'd had more time, I mean … well, after he got his soul and all… maybe things would've been different…"
" Oh"
" Look, Will. Let's get this straight, ok? I mean… what happened… after? At the guest house? It was just a moment of insanity on my part. I was trying to be her friend, and with all that went on, and all the loss, I guess I just got my feelings mixed up. I guess I thought something was there that really wasn't. Best it came down like it did. Me and Faith, together? God, that's nuts! We'd kill each other!" Buffy grins, a little lopsidedly. " Anyway, even if I felt something? Doesn't matter, because I know she didn't feel it back. So, dwelling on it? Pointless."
Willow doesn't like this. She feels a sadness coming off Buffy, and she suspects it really doesn't have anything to do with a certain bleach blond vampire. Worse, she's acting as if Faith was a blip in her life, as if what happened never mattered. She knows Buffy too well. She can sense that Buffy is equivocating about what she feels. Buffy isn't casual in her heart. She's not wired that way. She falls hard, and I think she fell hard for Faith. Now she's trying to pretend like it was nothing. I think it hurts too much, otherwise.
" Buffy, if you ever need to talk about it…"
" It's old news, Will. Ancient history, " Buffy diverts the topic, " So, we got sidetracked, sorry 'bout that. You and Kennedy…"
" Me and Kennedy? Need a break… not sure …if there's going to be a me and Kennedy in the future. Don't know…"
" Ah, honey, don't. I'm sure once you two have some time, you'll work it out. Don't put the coffin nails in it yet, Will, " Buffy hugs her, trying to be supportive.
" I think… I think she's cheating on me, Buffy, " Willow says in a small, sad voice.
"What?" Buffy feels her neck flushing as her anger rises. She stiffens.
" No, don't. Buffy, I don't have any hard evidence. I haven't like caught her at it… it's not like she's flaunting it, if it's happening. It's more a feeling… and I can smell… other women on her, sometimes."
" I'm gonna kill her, " Buffy says, matter of fact in her tone. " If she's doing this, if she hurts you like this, I'm going to kill her." It's a promise, not a threat.
" Buffy!" Willow says sharply, " I don't need a protector, I need my friend. I don't … want to hurt her, not like that, anyway. I need someone to listen is all… ok?"
Buffy looks upset, but nods.
" I don't hate her, Buffy. I don't want you to hate her, either. She… shit, I can't do this, " Willow leans against Buffy, " I don't want to think about it anymore, Buffy. I just want…" she shakes her head, " I don't know what I want, but it doesn't involve Kennedy."
" You know what? You're right!" Buffy says, a slight edge to her voice, " screw her, screw 'em all!"
"BUFFEE!"
" I mean it, Will. Lets get out of here. What're we doin', moping in some room. There's Paris out there, all for us. Let's go out and have some fun. We got it coming, we deserve it, and damn, we're gonna do it!"
"Buff I'm kinda wiped," Willow complains, " I'd really kinda like to take a nap…"
" Geeze, Will. It's morning. Naps are for later. At least, come down to the corner café with me. They serve a great omelet, and I'm famished. Please, please, please?" Buffy puts on her best beg mode. "Aren't you just a little bit hungry? Tasty croissants!"
Willow laughs. She can't help it.
" Yeah, ok. But then, I really need to crash."
" Ok, I promise, " Buffy says, crossing her fingers behind her back, " We get breakfast, then you can come back and crash."
Willow smiles wanly, and grabbing her purse, hoists herself up, heading for the front door. Buffy watches her, a slightly grim look on her face.
Not gonna let that little bitch make Will miserable. I'm gonna see to it she has the best time of her life in Paris, if I have to kill half the city to do it!
She follows Willow out.
-3-
It's late afternoon in Paris, and the sun, in defiance of the weather gods, has broken through the clouds The late afternoon light gives a warmth to the scene, painting it with a soft bronze palette. The play of light against lengthening shadows gives a nostalgic sense to the streets, as if old ghosts are giving up their memories.
Faith sits sipping strong and sweet coffee at an outside café on the Rue Abel, watching as the sun descends behind the horizon. The sky is all slashed with oranges and reds, purples and gold, looking like a madman's painting. There is a small smile on her face, her eyes calm, drinking in the colors.
Faith never used to be one to watch the sun set. She was go to it girl, contemplation wasn't her thing. It wasn't that she didn't like them, didn't love the colors, but she was restless, needing to always be moving, doing. Something to drain the energy that seemed to consume her as well as feed her.
That was the old her. Now, she's changed. Being in prison gives you lots of time to learn how to stand still. How to think, how to examine yourself and fix what you don't like.
Robin did that for her too. He helped her see herself as not just a toy, not just someone's plaything. Their time together taught her to trust herself, to respect herself. To see herself as a whole person. She was grateful to him for that. She had great affection for him. But she didn't love him.
They both came to realize that though they enjoyed each other in bed, and that they enjoyed each other out of bed, they couldn't be more than friends. They were too different from each other, from two different worlds. Four months ago, by mutual consent, they parted friends.
Faith decided she wanted to see Europe, rather than just read about it in books. With what money she'd managed to save, she got to Europe and bummed around, doing the age old Young American in Europe thing. She wound up in Paris, fast running out of money, but not wanting to leave.
Faith loved Paris. She found it all coming together here for her, she felt right here. Despite her lack of education, she had a good ear, and was a natural linguist. She picked up the language quickly; after 3 months she spoke French nearly as well as a native. Even without a work permit, she managed to find a job. Strictly cash, it still paid for her tiny little room, and meals. Tips went to keep her clothed.
She didn't love her job. At times, she really didn't love her job. Sometimes, she would fill in and bartend; that part was ok. But mostly, she was… well, there really was no other way to put it, she was a professional flirt. She had to cozy up to the customers, dance with the lonely ones, make them feel warm and cared about. Again, it wasn't so bad, except for one little hitch.
Le Masquer was a cross dressing gay club. It was a place where those so inclined, both singles and couples, could meet and greet and have a safe haven without all the stares and implied ridicule. It was open to all, but catered to the cross dresser. Part of her job was to dress up androgynously, wearing a bust binder( a torture device definitely designed by a man) along with a full tuxedo, decked out with exaggerated lapels and tails. She'd had to cut her normal mane of hair, and slick it down to carry the effect. The pièce de résistance, however, was the face mask she had to wear. It covered her face entirely, except for her mouth and chin. On busy nights, when the club was overly hot, it was really torturous wearing that thing. Not as bad as the bust binder, nor the toes squashed by truly inept dancers, but it was up there.
Faith finishes her coffee, and gets up, walking along the rue Abel to the club. She's a little late, but she's not too worried that Michel will fire her. She's become rather popular amongst the club's regulars. What can I say? I'm the darling of the sexually confused. The butch amongst the queens. I really gotta get another job. But, until her work permit comes through, it's the old dime-a-dance with a rather bizarre twist. Her toes are already aching in anticipation.
For all that, life is pretty good. She loves being here, she loves wandering around, finding new things. She clubs on her nights off, enjoying the night life away from Les Masquer. She loves the food, the people, everything seems to fit just right for her here.
And bonus. No watcher's council bothering her. No Giles looking over her shoulder. And best of all, no Buffy!
For the first time in a very long time, Faith feels she's shed the legacy of Sunnydale, including Buffy and Co. That disaster, that fiasco, that whatever it was at the guest house in L.A. dogged her mind for months. I know for a fact that it affected Robin's relationship with me. Not saying it broke us up. That would be unfair, and untrue. We weren't meant to be together. I know that, and he knows that. But there was that something in his eyes. I could see it there when he thought I wasn't watching. I know he thought something was going on between B and me. But that… ok, that's just past the point of insanity. He really didn't get our history of trying to pound each other into the ground. Faith sighs. Of course, finding Buffy naked in my bed, covered only in rose petals? Not exactly easy to explain. But I had nothing to do with that. I mean, think about it. If I were having a thing with Buffy, yeah, that right there doesn't make you shudder, but, if I were having a thing with Buffy, why would (A) I meet him at the airport, more, wait for him at the airport for a couple of hours, all the while (B) have Buffy waiting naked in my bed. The bed I invited HIM in to share with me? I mean, come on! Be real, that's just lunacy, don't you think?
Oh, but the lunacy doesn't end there. Because, when I go to rip Buffy a new asshole for her latest stunt, out comes Red to not only defend her, but tell me that Buffy's crazy in love with me. Yeah, that makes lots of sense. Let's review, kids. This is the same woman that for years has been doing her best to either forget I ever existed, or when I didn't let her forget, do her best to get my ass in jail? You know, the one who wanted to kill me on the rooftop to feed to her vampire boyfriend. Ok, I had something to do with poisoning him, sure. I was screwed up. Not gonna say I wasn't. I did bad things, I went to prison to atone for that. Case closed. But this is the girl who hounded me, hunted me, and was ready to give me over to the Mayor or the Council when Alan Finch died. Who put me in the coma, and promptly forgot I existed. When I woke up, she hunted me to L.A., ready for another pound of flesh. Yeah, I messed with her, messed up her life some, sure. But don't think she didn't fuck me over a few times, too. Oh, and hey, I was feeling the warm fuzzies when the first thing she does when I show up in Sunnyhell to help her fight the first, is punch me in the face. AGAIN! " Sorry, Faith, I didn't realize that was you." Yeah, sure, B. You just didn't like I was hitting on your boyfriend… literally. With punches. How was I supposed to know he was a good guy, huh? Last time we met, he wasn't a good guy. He's a vamp. We kill vamps. Most vamps. Except the souled variety. And up to that point, that meant Angel. Not Spike. Need a scorecard to keep up with the changes around there. Ever figure, B, why Angel ran to L.A.? Maybe because… YOU DRIVE PEOPLE LOONY!
Faith, reaching Les Masquer, stops, not wanting to enter the club. Not feeling the way she does at this moment. She leans against the wall, getting her irritation back under control. Why, why can't she just get out of my mind? Why can't I leave her and all the rest of that behind me? Why does the memory of her keep intruding. God, I haven't thought about her or any of it for months. Why now? Why today? She's got to be thousands of miles from here. That still isn't enough, dammit! Faith shakes herself out. Cool it, Faith. That's all behind you. She's gone, and you never have to see her again… her or any of them. That's behind you. Grrr! What got me thinking about her again, anyway? She looks at the sky, which is just entering twilight. Sunset! Had to sit there and watch the damned sun go down. Got my mind wandering, and look where it went! Dammit all, it's just not fair. When do I get to have my own life?
Stupid sunsets. See if I watch one of those again!Faith, disgusted with herself, enters the club, letting the door slam behind her.
If you listen carefully, you can almost hear the fates laughing.
-4-
" No! Don't wanna!"
" Ah, c'mon, it'll be a hoot!"
Buffy is sitting beside Willow on the bed. Willow is lying prone, back to Buffy, gripping the pillow for dear life. She buries her head under the pillow, hoping to muffle out Buffy's voice.
" Buffy Summers, you're a big fat liar!" Willow exclaims from under the pillow, " You told me this morning that we were ' just going for breakfast'. I only agreed because I figured I watch you eat some breakfast, have some tea, then I'd be up here, snoozing. But no, after that it's ' Oh, were just gonna go here for a minute'; then it's 'Aw, c'mon, Will, they've got the cutest dresses, or the cutest shoes, or… the cutest whatever!' . Then it became, ' just one more place, Willow.' You must've said that a dozen times or so."
" Aw that's not fair, Will. I didn't say it that many times, " Buffy pouts.
" Buffy, I'm not you. I told you this morning, I'm exhausted. I was on a plane all night. I'm bushed. I wanted to nap, but noooo… you had to go to breakfast, then all the rest of that stuff. I'm not you, Buffy. I'm not Supergirl. I'm worn out, I'm sore. Heck, my back is sore, my feet are sore, even my sores are sore! I need to rest!"
"Well, geeze, Will. I didn't mean right this second. It's still afternoon. I thought maybe you could get a couple of hours rest, and then…"
" Buffy, honey… I'm really bushed. Think I need eight to recover from today, " Willow looks out from under the pillow, " It sounds like fun… when my feet don't feel like falling off…"
"Oh, man, Will. I'm sorry. You're right, I've run your feet off, and here you're tired and all. " Buffy is genuinely contrite, " Stupid, really stupid. Just… I've missed you loads, Will, and I got greedy. Wanted it all in one day."
Willow burrows deeper into the bed, smiling because she won this round. She starts to get a case of the guilts. Am I being fair here? I mean, shoot, we haven't seen each other in the longest time, and she was just trying to cheer me up. I know that. But I'm so tired! And this feels so nice… it's then that she notices that the bed has a very pungent odor to it, a very familiar smell. It smells of Buffy, big time. But not just the usual citrus-y vanilla smell of Buffy. No, a more musky smell… Oh, my goodness! Willow realizes exactly what the odor is.
At about the same moment, Buffy realizes where Willow is resting, and she remembers how she woke up this morning. In what condition. Oh, my god…
" Umm. Will? If you're gonna crash, I really need to change the sheets, " Buffy realizes that her last little dream is still evident in the bedding. " Maybe you could take a bath while I do that ,and run get us some dinner?" Realizing that Willow probably can smell her scent, and that she's nearly laying in the spot… Buffy feels a definite blush creeping up her neck.
Willow sits up, her cheeks also a little pink. Oh gosh, can't let her know I smelled it. She'll freak. " Hey, Buff. Know what? I'm thinking I'm getting my second wind. But that bath idea? Sounding real good. Why don't I do that, and you can…" She trails off, trying to keep it light and casual. But her eyes stray towards the bed.
" On it," Buffy calls , already out the bedroom door into the next room." There's soap and shampoo already by the tub, and there are fresh towels in the little closet by the door".
Buffy tarries in the front room, not really wanting to go back in the bedroom at the moment. She can feel her face burning. God, I'm such a dope. Why didn't I do this earlier. Damn, that was close. I hope she didn't smell… oh, that would be just too… too… . Without realizing, she begins to daydream about what happened this morning before Willow arrived.
Willow in the meantime, has recovered her sense of humor, and is standing by the bed. She's chuckling to herself over Buffy's evident embarrassment.
Poor Buffy. Gosh, what? You think I'm a nun, Buffy? That I've never masturbated? Sheesh. So, who were you thinking about? Did a certain brunette slayer get you all… It's about then that the image of Buffy, semi naked on the bed, masturbating, hits Willow and she blushes to her roots. Holy … bad, bad brain! Buffy … we don't think about her that way. Then another thought hits her. There's only one bed in here! Suddenly feeling very uncomfortable, Willow starts towards the bedroom door. Gotta work out the sleeping arrangements…
Willow peeks her head out the bedroom door, catching Buffy standing facing away, woolgathering. What's going through that head of hers?
" Hey, Buffy" Willow says, quietly.
Buffy nearly jumps a foot. Bedclothes go flying.
"Geeze, Will. Gosh, don't do that!" Buffy's tone sounds guilty, " You nearly gave me a heart attack!" She bends over, starting to pick up the sheets. "thought you'd be in the tub by now, getting all soak-y and bubbly."
"Sorry, " Willow comes over and helps Buffy retrieve the scattered bedding, " I just got to thinking. I kind of dumped myself on your doorstep, and I thought well, you'd have a bigger place," Willow hands Buffy some pillow cases. Like maybe, twin beds at least." How're we gonna handle the sleeping arrangements?"
" Oh!" Buffy is a little surprise, " hadn't thought about it. I mean, the bed's big enough, I thought we'd …" She sees Willow's expression. " Well, that's tricky I guess… hmmm… well, guess you'll take the bedroom, and I can sleep in here." Buffy looks at the settee, and frowns a little.
" No, that's not right. I mean, I'm not going to kick you out of your bed!" Willow moves over to the settee, and sits down. She bounces on the cushion. " See, comfy!" She lays down, her legs dangling over one arm.
Buffy rolls her eyes. " You know, we're being just a little stupid here. The bed's big, we can share. Not like we haven't before."
Willow looks at her eyebrows raised.
" Sleepovers, Will. My house, or your house. We used to sleep together in smaller beds, you know."
Yeah, and we were kids, and neither of us were attracted to women at that time, and it was… oh, crap, Willow. Grow up. You're an adult, for goodness sakes. You can sleep in a bed with Buffy without anything happening. God, what is your problem, anyway? Geeze Louise, we spent a year living together in college, never mind all the time in Sunnydale. Nothing happened. What's your deal now? Yeah well, I wasn't single then, either, and she wasn't so damned cute … at least, not in that way, and I didn't have a clue she thought women could be sexy… I mean… sexual… oh crap, what is my problem, anyway? Nothings going to happen, because I'm not going to let it happen, and why am I even thinking this way? Because I smelled her? Not like it was for me…
"Willow… sweetie… Will, wake up honey, " Buffy is next to her, shaking her gently by the arm. " Where are you? Earth calling Willow…"
" Huh?" Willow, startled, sees Buffy next to her. " Sorry… look, you're right. I'm being silly. Stupid to waste the bed, especially since this thing wouldn't sleep a munchkin comfortably." She sits up.
" I really did poop you out, didn't I?" Buffy says, a rueful smile on her face. " C'mon, sweetie. You go soak in the tub, and I'll make up the bed. I'll get some take out from around the corner, and boom, we'll get you all tucked in, cozy and snuggly. "
" Aw, Buffy it's really early yet," Willow says, trying to suppress a yawn." Just gimme an hour or so, and I'll be ready to go out."
" Don't be silly. You were right, you need some serious Z's."
" What're you gonna do, though?"
" I dunno. I'll go out and take a walk, probably. That's what I do most nights anyway, " Buffy grins, reaching out a hand to help her up.
God, that sounds so lonely! " Really, Buff, I'll be fine…"
" Now, don't make me get all maternal here, Will. You're out on your feet. It's not a big, honest. We have all of tomorrow and lots of tomorrows for hanging out. Tonight it's bath, supper and bed for you, young lady. No arguments, now!"
" Yes, ma'am" Willow teases her. She lets out a huge yawn. She smiles sleepily, " guess I really am pretty wiped. Thanks, Buffy."
" Well, giving you a reprieve tonight, but you better get your rest, girlfriend. Tomorrow I'm gonna run your butt off."
" 'K" Willow heads towards the bathroom. She stops. " You're the best, you know that, right?"
" Oh yeah, " Buffy says ironically, " I'm just a regular Mother Teresa. Now scoot!"
Willow disappears through the bedroom door, while Buffy gathers up the remaining bedclothes.
Yeah, I'm a regular gem, Buffy thinks to herself, a little sulkily, I'm special!
Sighing, she enters the bedroom.
-5-
Buffy stands outside the club, working up the nerve to go in. Clutched in her hand is a flyer she found at a local café, advertising the establishment:
Viens à Les Maquer. Une situer être âgé qui vous vouloir être âgé. Toutes bienvenue. Visiter , à-pic votre masquer , et être les véritable vous.
(Come to Les Maquer. A place to be who you want to be. All welcome. Drop in, drop your mask, and be the real you.)
Buffy is torn. After the little incident in L.A., and the subsequent dreams she's been having, she's beginning to question a lot of things about herself. Try as she might, she can't put away the feelings she felt back then, and it's worrying her. Am I like, gay now? What does this all mean, anyway? I don't understand what's going on with me, but I notice women more, in wholly different ways than before. I thought it was just an infatuation thing, a crush or something. But … I can't stop thinking about her, and it's crazy, because I just want to forget her, and all the crap that went on. This is stupid, Buffy. Just go in. They won't bite you… will they? No, don't be stupid! Buffy walks to the door, reaches for the handle, and backs off. What am I gonna find out going in there, that I don't know already? I'm attracted to girls, ok, I think I get that. But I'm attracted to guys, too. So what does that make me? Really confused! Maybe I should talk to Will. She's got more experience here. Maybe she can … no, I don't want to weird her out already. I almost lost her as a friend back in L.A. with the whole Faith fiasco. What if she wigs on me? Like I did on her when she told me she was gay. Ok, Buff, you're not giving her much credit, are you? She's got to know what the confusion is like. But… what if she thinks I'm coming on to her? What if it gets weird between us? I don't want that. No, can't talk to her, not now… not til I'm sure. Buffy takes a deep breath, walks to the door, and stops. And this'll make me sure? Geeze, Buffy. Sure about what? She looks at the flyer again. The real me? Who is that, anyway? God, I hate feeling like this! Buffy stares at the door, then turns on her heel, walking away. Screw this, I'm outta here. This was a dumb idea. What am I gonna find here, anyway? Just go home, and go to bed, and… right, next to Will, who's already looking at you funny. Right, that'll be good. Damn! She turns again, and heads back to the door. Stop being such a chicken, Buffy. Just do it!
Buffy takes a deep breath, and enters the club.
She is greeted at the door by a hostess, who smiles warmly at her.
" Hello, honey. Well, aren't you the pretty one?" She gives her the once over. " Gosh, you couldn't even tell!"
Buffy looks at her strangely. Tell? What the heck? You can tell? Is there some kind of secret code here?
"Anyway, baby, I need to collect a 10 euro cover charge from you." She holds out her hand for the cover.
She has really large hands… Buffy digs in her purse, and pulls out a bill, handing it to the hostess.
" Thanks, sweetie, enjoy Les Masquer"
Buffy smiles, a little tightly, and starts into the club when she feels a whack on her butt. She whirls around, but the hostess is talking to another patron. Ok, getting a little personal now, aren't we? She rolls her eyes, and walks into the main room.
The place is hot tonight. The main room is dark and smoky, computerized laser lights and small table lamps providing the illumination. There is a band onstage play loud techno dance music, and singles and couples dancing on the large dance floor. Buffy stands back, taking in the atmosphere.
Not so bad. Pretty much like any other club. She moves in a little, watching the dancers. Boy, lot of tall girls here. Hope they don't mind shrimps like me. Looking around, she searches for a table, and finds one toward the middle. She sits down, watching the action.
Faith is circling the club, stopping at tables, chatting with the regulars. She, however, is looking out for the 'newbies'. The first timers that look a little lost and scared. Part of her job is to set them at ease, make them feel welcome at Les Masquer. Also, if they're looking to dance, well that's her job too. Professional flirt at your service, Dames et Messieurs. Dressed as she is, she feels like the host in Cabaret! Yeah, and look how he ended up! She cruises towards the dance floor, and then spots one.
No doubt 'bout it. Staring at the band, trying to look casual and on the know, but all closed up. Tiny little thing, too. From the back, you couldn't tell 'she' is a cross-dresser. Maybe not. Maybe a 'civvie' just in to check out the show. We do get some straights in here… mostly curious or feeling a little confused. Well, Faith, showtime. Go work your magic!
Faith moves up behind the girl, approaching slowly so as not to startle her. I'm thinking she's not new. She looks familiar, somehow. Been here before, I bet. I just don't remember her. Faith shrugs, and pulls out the rose she carries, placing it on the table over the girl's shoulder.
" Sage veillée , Mesdemoiselles. Bienvenue aux Masquer. Si il y a quelque chose Moi peux font pour vous , ou si vous avez tout problème, s'il vous plaît sentir que libre me passer voir.I s'apercevoir de vous êtes voici près de vous-même ça veillée? Si vous tellement souhaiter , Moi être très joyeux à danser par les vôtres!"
(Good evening, Miss. Welcome to The Masks. If there is anything I can do for you, or if you have any questions, please feel free to call on me. I notice you are here by yourself this evening? If you so wish, I would be most happy to dance with you!)
Buffy turns and looks up at the man staring down at her, and smiles a little sheepishly.
" Pardon, messieur, I didn't understand a word you said. Ummm…Parlez-vous l'anglais ?" Buffy's brows knit. " I think that's right?"
Faith nearly has a cow. Buffy? HERE! Oh god, this is just too… too… She feels her throat constrict, and starts to cough.
" Are you ok?" Buffy asks, a little worried. " Do you need help?" Damn, how do I say that in French? " Ummm…Avez-vous besoin de l'aide ?" She stands up, and starts patting Faith on the back. " Are you choking?"
Faith shakes her head violently, and moves away from Buffy. " No, I'm ok, Miss" She croaks out, " I'll be right back."
She hurries away quickly.
Buffy sits down, her expression resigned. Doing great. Been here 5 minutes, nearly killed an employee. This is fun, uh-huh. She picks up the rose, and holds it to her nose. Nice rose!
Faith leans against the bar, panting for breath. She lifts her mask, daubing her face with a napkin.
Michel, the bartender/ owner walks over, looking concerned.
" Faith, cher. Are you ok? You look like you've seen a ghost."
Faith looks up at him, grimacing. " Worse."
" Worse? What? Who did this to you?"
Faith points at the table where Buffy is seated. Michel looks at her, then back at Faith.
" That little slip of a girl? Did this? What, is she like a … ummm … how do you say? Witch?"
" No, just her friend is, " Faith babbles, trying to calm down. Her breathing begins to slow.
" Eh? You're not making sense, Faith. How could that little woman make you like this?"
Faith looks at him balefully, " Long story, not a happy ending. Tell you sometime, but right now, I've just got to avoid her!"
Michel looks at her. " Eh… no"
"What?"
" No, Faith. She is a customer, and from the way she keeps looking over here…"
" She's looking over here?" Faith puts back on her mask.
" .. I think she's rather worried about you. Never mind that it's your job to make the customer's comfortable… not worried. Go over, and attend to her."
" Michel, were you listening? We have a bad history. If she finds out who I am…."
" Faith, go, go, go. I've never seen you so… well, being such a coward!"
" I'm not a coward… geeze, Michel, you don't know what she's like… she's insane!"
" Bah, you're being foolish. Go over and take care of her, now!"
" Fine," Faith growls, " but this won't be pretty."
" Stop being so foolish, Faith. Just pour on the charm. I've seen you, I know you can do it. Just go!"
Faith runs a hand through her hair, and straightens her jacket. God, with all the clubs in Paris, why did she come here? Well, ok, B. You wanna be entertained, fine. Hold on, girl. It's gonna get bumpy!
Buffy notices the man coming back to the table, and she sits up, trying to act casually. Ok, Buffy. Now remember. No more killing the employees. Be nice!
" Hello, again, Miss. I'm so sorry about before. I just…´ Faith makes some exaggerated gestures about her neck," … well, I got something caught in my throat. I apologize. I didn't mean to upset you!"
" Oh, you do speak English then?" Buffy asks, " Whew, my French? It sucks!" Faith pretends not to understand, and gives her a look. " I'm sorry, I mean… it's bad." She smiles shyly, " I usually don't have that effect on people."
" Ahhh… non, Mlle. Not you, believe me. I just… silly, ate something dry, and it caught in my throat… and viola, I make a fool out of myself." That's right, Faith, lay it on thick. God!
" Are you ok?" Buffy asks, " You really looked … well, it was like you saw something bad."
" Eh? No, of course not, that's silly, " Faith laughs, " I mean, you are … ummm… un femme assez jeune. Pardon, forgot…pretty young woman."
"Oh?" Buffy blushes, " that's sweet." She looks at Faith out of the corner of her eye, " You're paid to say that though, aren't you?"
" Paid? Well, yes… but to make sure you have a good time, you know? I mean, dance or whatever if you wish, but my opinions? My own, Mlle."
" You're the charmer, aren't you?" Buffy smirks, but her cheeks are a little pink, " not in a bad way… ummm… oh, great, I'm so rude. I didn't get your name?"
" Remy, Mlle…er…heh, I don't know your name, either" Like it wasn't burned into my brain.
" I'm sorry, of course. I'm Buffy… Buffy Summers," Buffy says, shyly. Wow is he a sweetie.
" No, really… what's your name?"
Buffy cocks her head, " That's my name. Buffy."
" Bouffy? " Remy/ Faith laughs, " That's… so …hmmm… unusual. You are Americain, yes?" Oh, man, this is starting to be fun. Would you look at her? She's eating this crap like candy!
" You're laughing at me!" Buffy protests.
" Ah, non, ma cher. Not at all, " Remy/ Faith reaches over and pats her hand, " I'm sorry, you just are so … ummm… sweet, I guess?"
" You don't know?" Buffy says, flirting a little.
" Oh, I know, " Remy/Faith replies. Sweet as salt, B.
" Thank you for the rose, " Buffy waves it at him , then puts it to her nose, " It's very pretty."
" Not as pretty as you, " Remy/Faith smiles. Wow, that's got to be a 4 alarm blush!
Buffy blushes nearly as red as the rose she's holding. " You're flirting with me!"
" Yes, I suppose I am, Mlle. You don't like?"
" Oh, I like it, " Buffy smiles brightly at Remy/Faith.
I bet you do, B. God, this is a hoot. She's getting all giggly and girly on me. God, I'd love to take off the mask, and watch her face. It'd be a real hoot and a half. Whatta dope! Faith reaches up to grab her mask, then stops. Naw, this is way too much fun. Let's see how thick I can lay it on first. Then poof.
" Well, miss, if all is well now, I suppose I should be going. Do have fun at Les. Masquer, " Faith starts to stand up.
Buffy reaches out, covering her hand." Do you really have to?" She looks into Remy/Faith's eyes.
Faith looks back into Buffy's eyes, and sees the loneliness and hurt lurking there. Suddenly, this isn't as much fun anymore. Oh man, I just wanted to tease her a little…shit, look at her!
" I'm sorry…er… Bouffy? No, Buffy? Yes, Buffy… as you say, I'm paid to …ummm… circulate around. It's my job, " She shrugs, gently taking back her hand.
"Of course, I understand, " Buffy says, her voice low. " Thank you, you've been very sweet." She smiles tightly at Remy/Faith.
Oh, man. Don't.. don't do it Faith. Don't do it. Don't go soft on me now. You got away with it, she won't be back, not now. Don't blow it now!
" Of course, if you ask me to dance, I'm can't refuse, " Remy/Faith hints. Shit, idiot! Moron! What're you doing? Run!
Buffy turns to her, smiling broadly, face all lit up. " That's right. You've got to dance with me, don't you?"
" Yes, that is so, " Remy/Faith replies, " that I do." Stupid, stupid, stupid! What is your problem, Faith? Why do you feel sorry for her, after all she's done to you? God, you're the dope!
" Then… ummm…" Buffy gets a case of the shys, " would you… I'd really like to dance. Would you dance with me?"
" Yes, of course, ma cher, " Remy/Faith puts out her hand, taking Buffy's. She leads her to the dance floor.
And at that very moment, the band changes tempo, and play a slow sweet love song.
Figures, Faith sighs.
" Is something wrong?" Buffy asks.
" No, cher. Just… I'm not real good at the …slower dances." Remy/Faith lies. Change your mind, decide you don't want to do this. C'mon, B. for once, cooperate!
" Shhh… don't be silly. Just put out your arms, and I'll…"
Before Faith can control the situation, Buffy has slipped into her arms, putting her arms around her neck, leaning on her. Oh, this just gets worse and worse.
They dance around the floor, gently swaying to the rhythm of the music. Faith can't help but smell Buffy's clean soft scent, nor the way her body seems to move just so against her body. This isn't going to end very well.
Buffy lets out a soft sigh, feeling better than she has in awhile. I don't understand it. Why do they think Frenchmen are rude? This Remy is so… sweet.
" Hey, " Buffy says softly.
" Yes?" Remy/Faith replies.
" I thought you said you couldn't dance, " Buffy teases her, " You dance beautifully."
" Thank you, Mlle., " Remy/.Faith replies. Maybe if I stepped on her toe, she'd get the hint? No, probably not.
" You know, maybe it's me… but are the women here kind of tall?" Buffy asks, looking around at the dancers on the floor.
" Pardon? Tall?" She looks at Buffy, " You don't know?"
" know?
" About the club?" Buffy does an " Oh" with her lips," I heard it was a gay club," She whispers . She looks again," though, a lot of straight couples seem to be here."
" Ahhh… mon doux, don't you know? It's a …how you say? Cross-dressing club?"
" Huh?" Buffy looks puzzled…then light bulb goes on, " Oh. OH!" She looks again. " You mean…?"
" Yes, a lot of those ' women' , well… they aren't" Remy/ Faith chuckles. " Same with the boys…"
"Really?" She looks at Remy/ Faith with a small smile. " What about you? Are you a boy? Or a girl?" She leans in close, nearly touching Faith's ear with her lips, " I don't mind, either way."
Buffy reaches up to lift Remy/Faith's mask, but Faith gently bats her hand away. " Cher, is that fair? I mean, do I try to look down your dress to see if you're what you advertise?"
" No," Buffy blushes. She looks back up into Faith's eyes. " but, I really don't care, you know." Unconsciously, she runs her tongue over her lips to wet them. Her eyes sparkle.
This is getting way out of control. I gotta stop this now. Faith hears a tiny voice inside her ask, " Do you really want to?". God, yes! I don't want this! This is bordering on insanity!
The dance ends, and Faith extricates herself gently from Buffy's arms. She smiles at Buffy charmingly.
" Thank you, miss, for the dance." She makes a slight bow, and turns.
" Yeah, I know , you got to work. But…" Buffy bites her lips, then blurts it out. " Can I see you again?" She moves over in front of Faith. " Maybe without the mask?"
Do it, Faith. Just do it. End it now, or it's… just do it!
" Miss Summers? I'm sorry, I don't think you understand. I'm sorry if I somehow misdirected you?"
" I'm sorry?" Buffy is puzzled.
" Miss Summers… er, Buffy. I'm just doing my job here. I dance with the patrons, and er… well, make sure they have a nice time at the club. But, I don't get involved.. I don't date the customers."
"Oh, " Buffy says, quietly.
Faith sees Buffy's face collapse. It's only a brief second, Buffy recovers quickly. But she can't remember a time when she saw such raw pain.
Well, Faith. Good work. Happy now? You really hurt her. Proud of yourself?
" Thanks for the dance, Remy. You've been very charming and sweet. Sorry I… I really have to go now, " Buffy turns, and heads back to the table where her purse lays. Picking it up, she heads for the door.
Crap!
Faith rushes after her, catching her as she's walking away from the club entrance. She stops in front of Buffy, blocking her way.
" Buffy… please. I'm really sorry, let me explain."
Buffy smiles at her sadly, " I know, you're just doing your job. I got it."
" No…" Faith sighs, " listen, cher. Long time ago? I knew a woman, like you. Very sweet, yes? But, well, I liked her, but she took it wrong, you know? She thought I loved her, and I didn't. I… really hurt her rather badly, you see. I thought it was her foolishness, for the longest time. But, eh, I think tonight, you showed me, I was to blame a little, too. You know? You're a very nice woman, Mlle. I don't … really don't want something to happen to hurt you." You're a pretty slick liar, Faithy. Gosh, I'd almost buy that one. An hour ago, you were ready to make her cry. Why's it different now?
Buffy looks at her, really looks at her. Why does this feel so … déjà vu-y? " Somebody hurt you, didn't they? Was it this woman? She really hurt you."
" No, cher, you weren't listening. I hurt her, not the other way around."
Buffy smiles at her, sadly. She moves a little closer. " I'm sorry, Remy. You're not a very good liar. Somebody hurt you, pretty bad. I can tell. But…" Buffy moves closer, putting a hand on Faith's chest, " I wouldn't do that, I wouldn't hurt you."
Faith gently pushes Buffy's hand away. " No, ma cher, you don't get it, " She says, feeling a sudden sadness, " You just don't understand at all."
" Oh, I think I do." Buffy says quietly. " I really think I do."
Impulsively, she puts her hands on Faith's shoulders, and stretching up a little, kisses her. A light, tender kiss.
" Goodnight, Remy," Buffy says softly. She turns, and walks down the street.
Faith watches her go. Her lips are tight
" So, Faith, ma cher. You seem to have fooled your little friend. She didn't seem all that upset with you," Michel is standing at the entrance of the club. He's smiling broadly.
" Shut up, Michel, " Faith growls, pushing past him. " Just shut up!"
To be continued
