I have honestly no idea how graduation ceremonies are conducted in Britain, so excuse me if the word "graduate" or any of the ideas presented here are terribly off. I figure, Hogwarts isn't exactly like Britain in all practices and ceremonies, so why bother? I'm lazy. Deal with it.
This is the last chapter, and disgustingly short at that. I'm really sorry this story took me so freaking long to write—I find it very amusing to read my old notes and see how juvenile they sound… At any rate, it's been something like two years since I published the first chapter, and the story is not long enough (or good enough) to have taken that long—so I apologize for all the wait and the drama, but this is the end! There was originally going to be a sequel, but I simply don't have the energy or time to spend on it.
Thanks to everyone who spent the time and patience reading this story, and even more thanks to all those who reviewed! It feels wonderful to know I have actual readers, people who've read the whole thing from the very beginning... This is the first story I've ever finished (long story, I mean), and even if it's not my best, it does feel good to know it's done. Thank you, I would not have done this without the urging of my reviewers!
Chapter Seventeen
Graduation
"Congratulations, graduate." Remus turned at the soft voice, beaming as he had been all day. Bright sun shone down on them all, baking the tops of their ceremonial wizard hats. Hogwarts had provided all the graduates with hats and robes specially made for the ceremony, each richly dyed in the color of the student's House. They all felt slightly foolish wearing bright colors after seven years of only black. Remus spread his arms wide to better display his deep red robe.
"Why thank you. Congratulations yourself, though I must say you don't look half so dashing as I in these spectacular robes." Jesse laughed and hugged him tightly. She hadn't been in such a great mood in weeks—NEWTs and various final exams had been extraordinarily stressful, and she and Lily had taken to disappearing for the whole of an afternoon and evening to study in the weeks preceding the horrible tests. Her joy and relief that it was all over showed plainly on her face, and her wonderful mood made her almost glow in the sunlight. When she stepped back from the hug, Remus couldn't help looking her up and down.
"I take that back. You look great."
"Thanks! Are you as happy as I am that this is all over?" she asked excitedly.
"I guess," Remus shrugged. "I'm ready to be done with all the work…but I really don't know what I'm going to do without seeing all my friends every day." Without seeing you every day, he wanted to say. After his midnight meeting with Alicia, Jesse hadn't been angry as Remus had expected. She arrived late at breakfast, accompanied by Sirius, but greeted everyone warmly and didn't ignore Remus or in any way seem upset with him. For days he'd struggled with the idea of talking to her about Alicia, but he'd been unable to summon the courage. As weeks went by, he decided he was being ridiculous and finally broached the subject.
Jesse had explained to him quite calmly that if he was ready to move on, so was she. He hadn't been able to think of a response, and before he could do anything to stop her, she effectively ended their relationship. He'd been awkward for a while afterward, but Jesse seemed willing to remain friends and they eventually slipped back into a comfortable friendship.
Except that Remus couldn't be happy with that for long, as he soon found out. He tried building up his relationship with Alicia, but she quickly realized that he was stuck on Jesse and got disgusted and gave up. He found himself happier alone, with the idea that someday he could get Jesse back…
But the day had never come, and now, at graduation, Remus felt he'd lost his chance with her. Watching her face as she chattered about what she would and wouldn't miss about Hogwarts, he knew there was nothing there for her. He'd become only a friend, and as far as Jesse was concerned, she was only a friend for him as well.
"…I mean, of course I'll miss you guys, but it's not like we'll never see each other again! You all simply must come to America to visit me this summer, I really can't wait to show you around!"
Remus was stirred out of his thoughts by her words. "America? You mean, you're going back there?"
"Of course! Not back home, though, that would be too weird, to go home now that I'm actually independent, after all these years of living away. I'll go see my father of course, and Dane in Ireland, but I want to live on my own for a while. I'm going to a wizard university to keep studying until I figure out what I want to do. I figure I'll start out with a few more basics, get better at Transfiguration and Charms and all that, then narrow it down by my second year so I can get started on something I could get a career in…"
"When are you leaving?" Remus asked, trying to sound casual despite his shock. The thought that Jesse would be out of his immediate reach was almost painful…especially with the knowledge that their separation didn't mean nearly as much to him.
"I don't start classes until September. I figure I'll stick around here for a while, then leave by August to get settled, maybe get a job… The university is on the outskirts of a Muggle town, so I could really get work doing anything. Having some money will be nice, I don't want my dad to pay for everything…"
She chattered on as Sirius, James, Peter, and Lily appeared and entered the conversation. Remus allowed himself to fall silent, watching his friends' happy faces and wondering what he'd ever do without them. It wasn't the same for all of them—they'd go out and get jobs, live happy lives, live normal lives. He'd be stuck with whatever he could find, lucky if he could get work at all, scrounging for a place to live and trying to keep his curse a secret… Without his friends to support him emotionally, he'd never survive. Even living in the same city as Sirius, Peter, and James wouldn't be the same as seeing them every morning and every night, sitting by them in classes and eating with them at meals. There'd be no one to accompany him for his changes, keep him from hurting himself, give him company and friendship even in his darkest moments…
"Moony, why the long face?" Sirius said cheerfully, breaking into Remus' thoughts. "Chin up, we've graduated! The worst is over!" He threw a heavy arm around his friend's shoulders, then raised his eyebrows at Remus' still dark expression. He glanced at the others, who were all engaged in a separate conversation, then turned back to Remus. "We don't abandon you just because we're out of school," he said seriously in a rare moment of sensitivity. Remus looked at his friend, surprised, and Sirius grinned. "The Marauders are for life, my friend. A little thing like graduation can't split this group up."
Sirius steered his friend back toward the others, forcing him to join the conversation and find some cheer in the sunny day. Surrounded by his friends, Remus felt immediately better—even as he watched Jesse walk away to congratulate someone else. Get used to seeing her back, he told himself silently. Get used to having her someplace far away.
And as the thought crossed his mind, it was not accompanied by the worst regret and grief. He focused his attention back on his friends, their own shining, flushed faces still around him. Get used to this, too, he thought, and was content.
