Something Fishy

I wa thinking about abandoning this story, because it's a humor story, and I have a very poor taste in humor. (I laughed at the Phantom of the Operah people!) But On the nightI thought of this, all of a sudden I had a dream where Lee and Wolf O'Donnell (From Starfox, serves me right for playing it that much) told me not to give up on anything. Then Wolf started this story about this tough situation he was once in. Lee gasped at every exciting part. It was odd, but here I am. I actually planned a fun ending for this, so enjoy!

Oh, and Thanks AkatsukiCloak, You'll see soon, I promise, and Loki is a girl of her word.


The young girl that Kisame pulled out of the well was stranger-looking then Itachi could have ever imagined. The worst part of it was that she looked sickeningly familiar.

She was clothed in a torn lacy, silky, white dress. Her skin was unbelievably pale and blotchy. She was soak and wet and trembling all over. Black hair hung matted about her head and back. She dug her fingernails deep into Kisame's arms in a feeble attempt to cling to her savior. She looked piteously at Itachi, and he felt a sudden fear seize him, like nothing ever had before. He broke his gaze away from the girl, and peered down the well she had been trapped in. He shuddered. He could see dark water sloshing around about forty feet down. Strong girl. She climbed all the way up here.

Kisame looked down at the girl in a slight puzzlement "Itachi, this kid looks a lot like you."

Itachi turned his attention back to the ragged child. Her facial features, were indeed somewhat alike his own. That much he would admit. Her eyes however, were nothing like his. But still his curiosity got the best of him.

"Have you ever heard of the name Uchiha?" His voice was surprisingly quiet, but she heard him.

"No. sir." She replied hoarsely. "My name is Samara. Morgan Sakado Samara."

"Well you have now. My container's name is, Uchiha Itachi."

Itachi heard a faint rustling. He didn't look back, believing it to be that eccentric stag from earlier. Samara looked off to some place behind him.

"Samara? How long were you in that well?" Kisame prodded.

She looked at him, mystified. "Seven days, sir."

Itachi nodded in silent contemplation of the meaning behind her words.

Kisame whistled. "Whoo, you are the little trooper, huh?"

Imbecile, Itachi sneered. But strangely, Samara seemed to fondly accept the comment, she smiled and nodded. "Yes, sir."

(In the background Kisame sweatdropped)

Kisame. Itachi spoke to him through telepathy.

Eeeeeeek! Oh. What?

This girl, she is not an ordinary child.

Yeah. So?

We should take her back to headquarters.

But you said-

Quiet. The Akatsuki is always looking for new members.

You think she would want to-

Yes. Let's go. Itachi roughly ended the conversation.

"You're coming with us." Kisame said, uncertainly.

Samara flashed them a huge smile and flung her arms around Kisame's large arm. "Oh, Really? Great!"

Kisame and Itachi gave each other even more uncertain looks.

"Hey!" Kisame frowned, his gills sticking out a little. "It's not her fault. She's been stuck in a well for seven days, Itachi. Seven Days!"

Kisame was carrying Samara as the criminals and child made their way back to headquarters. Things were going quietly, until the strange child finally broke the silence.

"Itachi-sama, do you have family?"

Kisame swallowed nervously. That was a definite no-no question. He peered over at the Uchiha's prodigy.

Itachi seemed taken aback by the girl's blunt question. He thought for a moment.

"Yes."

"That's good. It's good to always have some family even if everyone else is dead and they disown you."

There was a sigh from Itachi. "Yes, I suppose I can relate."

THE GENERIC AKATSUKI BASE

"So let me get this straight; you found this girl in a well, surrounded by dead things, you want her to join Akatsuki and you want me to watch her for you while you complete your mission."

"Hai, hai. That basically covers it." Kisame nodded.

'Favor Collector', the Head of Torture and Interrogation in the Akatsuki Company folded his hands in front of him. "Well. I suppose I can cover for you two idiots, but it will cost you."

Kisame groaned, Itachi's eyes flashed dangerously.

"Five favors from each of you, deal?" That brought Itachi's stored favors to 27, and Kisame's to 34.

Itachi resisted all hell to not kill The Favor Collector at that time. All hell.

"Oh, which reminds me; I found some new dirt for you Itachi-sama." He passed a bundle of printer paper across the table to him. Samara's eyes scanned it with interest. "Lemony fresh too. You and Sasuke, as usual. There's none for you today, Kisame, I bet you're overjoyed."

Itachi looked over the cover page with a look in his eyes akin to a starving man staring at the most delicious feast that was covered with the most deadly poison, and knowing it. In essence, utter horror and desperation. Of course his face remained as impassive as ever.

"It may not be the most tasteful 'cest I've ever read, but I love how they portrayed you." Favor Collector mocked. It was easy to see that he wasn't granted the name 'Favor Collector' for complement's sake.

"I will personally slaughter whoever continues to taunt me with these abominations." Itachi muttered under his breath.

"Lucky for you the author of this tale gave their identity. Too bad for them. Now, how much will you pay to keep this under wraps?"

"After the mission."

"Hey, you-"

"Later." That was Itachi's 'end of conversation' tone. "Watch the girl. Let's go, Kisame."

Without another word, the two run-away Nins left the room.

"Celsius, you froze people solid! That's clearly against the rules! And you didn't just freeze one person, oh no, that's not good enough for you. You froze six!"

"Pshaw. Like I care. In this body, I can beat anyone! Even Big Bro."

'Haku' was in a one-sided argument with a woman clothed in a sea blue cloak. The hooded woman was yelling her lungs out at 'Haku', but he didn't seem to care.

"But why does everyone keep calling me Haku? It's really bothersome."

"They recognized your body, duh. Don't forget that the kid is not your own body, you dope."

Celsius quickly changed the subject. "These Ninjas you told me about are wimps! Even that fox kid you told me about lasted two seconds against me."

"Well… um… uh… you must have just picked weaklings; that's all. These Shinobi are really, really strong! You just haven't seen the really strong ones yet!" The hooded woman protested.

"Whatever. I don't get why you keep defending 'Ninjas' so much, come on. It's not like you're one yourself."

"Well, I-"

"Shut up. Two people are headed this way. I'm going to go fight them, bye."

Celsius left before the woman could say anything in protest.

Kisame and Itachi became alert, someone was within the perimeter.

They heard a crushing roar, and sharp ice needles shot out of the ground in front of them. The Akatsuki swerved to a halt.

"Now what?" Kisame wondered out loud.

As if to answer Fishman's question, a boy with a mask over his face landed on a tree branch some meters (1) away from them. Itachi noticed the branch freezing under his feet. The mask bore the crest of the mist, meaning he was a Shinobi Hunter. His squad however, seemed nowhere in sight.

"You two won't pass. That is, unless you wanna fight me."

Kisame gripped Samahade's hilt. Itachi activated the Sharingan.

This was going to be a long mission.


Okay, this was a looooong chapter, but I'm overjoyed to say that Kisame's girlfriend is in this chapter and will be introduced in the next one, yay! Okay, So I totally took Samara from the Ring, but that's why It's fun. Anyway, i'll update soon, the next chapter will be exciting, I promise!

Kisame: I'm going to play a big part in the next one too! Itachi: You wish.

(1)Do they use the metric system? Most likely, everyone 'cept the US does.
Oh, and remember, everytime you write a Uchihacest, Itachi owes someone five favors. So please, think of Itachi.