(A/N: See. I'm being un-lazy. Congratulate me, dammit.)

The Legend of Cojiro:

Finding Cojiro

"So...do you guys have like...specific roles, or something?" I asked the Goddesses of Poultry.

"Well, not really." said Chickenling. "I say important stuff and answer your questions. I'm our leader, in a way."

"Since when!" argued Ducklet. "We never had a leader! We've always been independent of each other!"

"I'm the oldest." said Chickenling, as if that settled the matter. "Anyway, Ducklet complains and acts stupid. That's her role."

She sighed. "I suppose..."

"And Turkelina...well, being the youngest, she's also the most stupid. Her role is telling you non-vital information and accidentally blurting out things you aren't supposed to know." said Chickenling.

"Indeed." said Turkelina. "For I am only of the ripe young age of 568. By far the youngest of the three."

I heard a few loud punching and slapping sounds.

"Of course," said Chickenling sweetly.

"So, um...how exactly do I find this blue chicken you speak of?" I inquired.

"I cannot reveal this information to you." Chickenling said promptly.

"Er, why?" I asked.

"That would make it too easy."

"Oh."

"Hey, why don't you ask that Link kid!" said Turkelina. "He knows where it is!"

I heard a loud slap.

"SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT, STUPID!"

"Oh. Whoops."

"Well..." sighed Chickenling. "I guess it's too late now. Go find Link, wherever he might be."

So, I rushed out of the Temple of Time. Where was Link, exactly? Well, he had to be somewhere. I decided to call him on his cell phone.

He picked it up after two rings. "This is Link, Hero of Time! Listen, I'm kind of busy right now! Could you hold on a minute?"

"Sure," I said.

I heard a few sword slashes, and a howl.

"Okay. Who's this?"

"Hey, Link! It's Zelda! I have to ask you something!"

He gasped. "Zelda, my love! I have waited so long for a call from you! How are you?"

I ignored his comment. "Do you know where I might find a...blue chicken?"

"Oh, you mean Cojiro?"

I covered up the speaker. "Is the blue chicken named Cojiro?"

"Yes, yes, it is." said Ducklet.

I spoke into the phone. "Yep."

"He's in the Lost Woods." said Link. "I left him there...a Skull Kid has him, most likely."

"Oh. Crap." I said. "I HATE Skull Kids. And the Lost Woods."

"That's all I can do for you, babe. I'd get him for you, but I'm kinda in the middle of something."

"Yeah, whatever. I mean, no one's as great as Josh Hartnett. No one's enough of a man to match his bravery, and gorgeousness, right? I guess going out of your way to get a chicken for me is too much for someone who isn't...quite as wonderful as him." I said sadly.

"Hey, it's no problem for me! Just a quick trip to the Lost Woods, right? I can handle it! Just wait right there! I'll come to you!"

I giggled. Link is SO easy. "Well, hurry up with it. And he'd better be alive when he gets here!" I hung up.

This was gonna be the easiest adventure EVER! All I had to do was use a little reverse-psychology on Link, then sit and look at magazines with pictures of hot celebrities! Being the princess is so awesome.

"Hey! Poultry goddess things! Are you still there?" I called out into thin air.

I got a response about a minute later. "Sorry. What is it?"

"HEY CHICKIE! WHO'S THAT ON THE PHONE?" an unfamiliar voice called.

"SHUT UP! IT'S MY CLIENT!" Chickenling yelled back at them. Then she said sweetly, "Is there a problem?"

"Yeah. What do I do once I get Cojiro?" I asked.

"Hell if I know."

"...Oh."

"Hey, Zelda, We're gonna leave you alone until tomorrow. It's getting kinda late. And, you know..."

"PILLOW FIGHT!" yelled another unfamiliar voice.

"GAH!" yelled Chickenling. I heard a whomping sound, and about five seconds later, all I heard was that buzzing sound you hear when you're on the phone with someone and they hang up.

"Dammit." I cursed.

I looked at my magazines for a half hour before Link arrived.

"What took you so long?" I said snobbily. "And...where's the chicken!"

"Oh. I have him." said Link. He pulled a blue piece of paper out of his back pocket. "Here you go."

"...Link, is this your idea of a joke?"

"Oh. Right." he unfolded the paper and it magically turned into a chicken. "Theeeere you go."

I stared at him. "Wow. Thanks."

"You'd better be getting home now, or Impa will surely worry."

"Oh. Right. Come on, then."

"W-Wow. I mean, I was planning on getting back to the dungeon, but if you'd rather I stayed the night at your house-" he started.

"NO, YOU IDIOT!" I yelled at him. "You need to ESCORT me back to the CASTLE. 'Cause that's what a REAL GENTLEMAN does. That's what JOSH HARTNETT would do."

"Oh." he sounded extremely disappointed. "Well, okay. But you know, I COULD stay the night at the castle, if you wish. If you ever need company, all you have to do is ask..."

"NO, YOU PERVERT!" I slapped him.

"Well..." he sighed. "Come on...let's not make Impa worry, now..."

We walked together back to the castle.

-

Hm. I don't know why I decided to make Zelda obsessed with Josh Hartnett. I just did. Well, anyways, review, lufflies. Yesss. You know you want toooo. :3