UNREQUITED LOVE...
We passed a cherry blossoms trail, suddenly silent by the falling pink petals of the flowers that after school.
For a silly girly colored flower petal trees, these petals sure makes you calm when they fall on the ground like that, twirling and making circles as they fall.
Kinda wants to make you think things over, huh.
We quickly reached my place, where I could hear the twirling of Rei, Max, and Kai's beyblade.
Usually, I'm a lazy ass and I just sit there and do nothing, maybe sleep or eat.
But when it comes to beyblading, I'm in.
I quickly ran towards my teammates, dropping my bag on the ground.
Beyblading usually take my mind off from things.
An easy way to let my mind fall and let me think of other things rather than Hilary.
A way to get over things when you're upset.
A good thing because you can let out your frustrations into your beyblade...
And then it would spin like hell, so that it shows your anger.
Shows your victory, your feeling, and your defiance.
And when it's over,
Everything would be over.
Every single bit of your anxiety would vanish and you'd feel better all over again.
But I don't think it worked.
Not anymore.
I lost a couple of times, making my teammates worried.
Even when I tried being as pissed off as I can to get my Dragoon stronger, Kai always seem to win.
I guess there's a limit on how long your anger stays out until it comes back to haunt you.
And MAN, I'm pissed!
And wait until you know the reasons why these goddamn problems won't go away.
It's hard, you know.
And as for Kai, he was looking at me in this weird look in his face.
It isn't the same face, grim and expressionless, that he shows.
It was different.
I grinned idiotically back, rubbing the back of my head.
I try not to laugh like a jackass.
He closed his eyes, stretched out his hand and Dranzer dove straight towards his palm.
A perfect--as always, like mine--catch.
He set his beyblade on his launcher and prepared to fire it.
But he halted the firing part and looked at me, a perplexed face.
"If you want to win I suggest you should think about something else," Kai said.
I look at him, puzzled.
"What? Me? Think of something else? Why would you think I'd be thinking about something else rather than winning against you?"
Kai scowled, what he always does.
"Who can't tell?"
I waited until Dragoon dove towards me, catching it with my hand.
How relentless Dragoon tries to aim towards my hand, I still catch him.
I came to the same ready position as Kai, beyblade launcher stretched in front of us.
I tared at Kai and Rei and Max, who were practicing behind Kai.
"Look you guys, I'm only thinking about beyblade, okay?"
"Okay," Max smiles at me. "No worries, Tyson."
I scowled.
Oh, god, not again--
My god!
"We can easily tell your face, Tyson," Rei exclaimed.
I try not to glare at him but i do stop my ready position and stopped our beyblading to looked at my so-called friends.
What friends I have!
"Come on, be real, you guys!"
Max chuckles.
"We're trying to," he answers.
"Dragoon just needs his rest, okay?" I said. "That's WHY."
"Whatever you say, Tyson..."
"We're just worried about you," Rei said.
Kai grunts, either agreed or not.
I was wishing he isn't agreeing because I don't want anyone to be so worried for nothing.
I know they care a lot and they know when you're in trouble but I can't help hating it when they aim it all right at me.
And then, I know what they're trying to tell me.
I try to look offended but instead I started yelling.
I crossed my arms.
"Look, if you think I'm thinking about--about--about her you guys are definitely--DEFINITELY wrong about that!"
Max chuckled.
"Who mentioned anything about Hilary?" he asked me.
I blinked.
I looked confused.
Rei shook his head, chuckling.
"Then that means that you ARE thinking about her," Rei said. "It's about those fights you guys always have."
I scowled.
"I'm not, okay!" I try to tell them. "I just THOUGHT you guys wanted to TALK about her!"
"Well, we actually do," Kenny said.
And so he says.
"Get real," I mutter. "There's nothing wrong between us, okay? We're still cough friends."
"If you guys are then why isn't she talking to us anymore?" Rei asked.
"Yeah," Max agreed. "I tried to talk to her yesterday but she had to do something and walked away from me, Rei, and Kai."
"Without saying good-bye," Rei added. "That is NOT the Hilary I know."
I frowned.
"Why would you guys actually want her to come back?" I asked suddenly. "I thought she was a pain in the ass to you guys, too."
"She was, kinda," Rei replied. "But she's a good friend. At least appreciate her."
I rolled my eyes.
Appreciate her?
Hilary?
APPRECIATE HILARY?
That screaming loud mouth and QUEEN OF BIG MOUTH!
AH-HAHAA!
Riight.
Roll eyes
NINE HOURS EARLIER...
The next couple of days after that whole 'really-weird-incident-about-Hilary', things were still the same.
The same, yes, but not for Hilary herself.
Today--Friday (TGIF!)--, we still have school.
"Now, Miss Tatibana," Mrs. Chiyuki asked. "Can you tell me what the answer for number fifty-six 'b', please?"
In front of me, I couldn't see her that much.
But I know for sure that she wasn't paying attention.
Her head was turned, staring out at the window.
She was spacing out again.
Geez, this girl.
I just don't know anymore.
I look out the window to see what interested her.
All I saw was the sky, blank and really boring to look at.
Even with the teacher's voice, it still didn't reacted with Hilary's face, which was still out of this world.
I try not to react too much.
It scares me if I show too much emotions.
I hate it when it does.
I'm actually scared about it.
Chuckle
I'm still worried about her.
But I don't show it much, I don't want to.
Last night, Max had tried to call Hilary.
But she was... busy.
Busy.
Riiight.
Hilary still didn't turn her head around to look at the teacher.
God, doesn't this girl know that we're all looking at her?
Even I feel like putting my arms up and bawl out the answer!
Geez, what HAS happened to this girl?
I looked at Mrs. Chiyuki, whose face was the same as always.
She lowered the book she held and gawked at the girl.
"Miss Tatibana," Mrs. Chiyuki said. "Are you off in your own wonderland again?"
"...Nani...?... huh...?"
Hilary turned her head around to look at the teacher, perplexed.
Even if I was in front of her, I could still tell what that face of hers would be like.
It would probably be the same face she gave me when she came to school.
It's been like that ever since she came to school with her one week of absences.
I still think she skipped all those days.
"Gomen nasai," Hilary said. "I won't do that again, Mrs. Chiyuki."
The teacher raised one eyebrow.
"You're right you won't," she said. "Now, do you know the answer?"
Hilary stared at the teacher, trying not to showed her embarrassed emotions.
"Answer?... Eto...for what?"
Everyone was surprise.
Even me.
Hilary?
The class president, the smart aleck?
Doesn't even know where we are!
"Number fifty-six 'b'," Mrs. Chiyuki told her, rather irritated.
Hilary looked startled, even unsure.
And, me?
I was damn confused what was going on around here.
Why won't she say the answer?
"Oh," Hilary said. "Eto..."
We waited.
It was as if the whole world aged because Hilary hasn't seemed to say anything for the next minute.
With these passed days, I've been trying to figure out what has gotten into her.
Could she have eaten something bad?
No, that would be me.
Chortle
I forgot to eat breakfast today and my stomach is growling!
Usually, I never forget food.
Chuckle
Maybe I was worried about Hilary too much to eat.
Snicker
Yeah, right.
"Well?"
Hilary hesitated.
"Gomen nasai demo shiri-masen (I'm sorry but I don't know), Mrs. Chiyuki," she finally answered.
I raise my eyebrows.
"What!" I blurted out really loud. "You let us waste one minute of our entire boring life to hear you answer a dumb simple question and all you say is 'I don't know'!"
Hilary didn't say anything.
She just stared at her table.
I, basically, looked irritated.
But did I just hear her say "Shizuka nishiro, you (shut up, you)", because that really got my temper.
I was ready to attack her until my classmate beside me grab me hold by the arms to keep me from jumping fifty feet off my chair.
"Tyson!" Mrs. Chiyuki exclaimed, shocked at my sudden urge to want to pounce on her.
"We will not have or allow any fights in this class or else you will be heading to the office!"
I grimaced and slumped back down to my chair, arms crossed and heaping with frustration.
I don't usually try to want to attack girls.
But Hilary is really different from any normal girls.
And besides, we fight a lot sometimes.
"And Hilary," Mrs. Chiyuki turn to look at Hilary. "Are you sure you should be in school today?"
Hilary nodded slowly.
"But she's not even sick!" I called out again, standing up.
Well, what can you say?
I'm outraged.
"Genki-desu, Mrs. Chiyuki," Hilary answered lowly, ignoring me all the way through.
END
I look exasperated.
"I tried okay?" I tell them.
"No you didn't," Kenny said.
He caught his Draciel by the left hand and looked at me.
I rolled my eyes.
Okay fine.
So I don't appreciate her MUCH.
I usually try to argue with everything she says.
Rei place his hand on his waist and stared at me.
Max had his crossed and Kai was out of the blue.
Rei frowned at me.
I don't know what i just did but i ignored what Rei had asked me.
I don't even think i heard him.
"Don't you like her?--"
"Just because we had THAT fight doesn't mean that that girl should take SO seriously, sheesh!"
"Did you hear what i said, Tyson--"
I wave my hand up in frotn of me.
"And, besides, i think we all need a time off away from her maybe even for the rest of our--sorry, Rei, what were you saying?"
Rei sighed and tried again.
"I said, don't you like her?"
I blinked.
What?
What did he just say?...
Don't I like--who?
I didn't understand what Rei had said.
Or heard him.
"Come again?"
"Don't you like Hilary?"
Rei waited for me to answer.
I kinda hesitated.
A while.
A LOT while.
"What do you mean? do i like her a a friend or... or something more?"
Rei smiled.
"Both."
I looked taken back.
W--what?
Why would Rei come up with a dumbass question like that?
"W--what are you talking about? Of course I like her as a friend," I tell them.
They still looked at me.
It took me a long moment to figure out what they want me to say.
And i just realized what they meant.
"You think I HATE Hilary?"
Kenny nodded.
"Congratulation!" Dizzi proclaimed.
"The three time world champion just fuigured out what the answer to the question that was asked--le'see how long--two years ago?"
She was being sarcastic a always.
I was a bit shocked.
How can they think I would HATE Hilary?
Sure she's a LOT of pain in the ass but she's quite friendly sometimes.
SOMETIMES.
But I don't hate her.
If I did, i'd've kicked her out of our training schedule.
And out of our friendship.
But I DON'T--I have to admit--hate her.
And if I hated her then I would've told her that if she ever said that she...
Liked me.
But of course she doesn't like me.
I gaze at my friends.
"I don't hate her," I tell them slowly.
If Hilary likes me, she can't.
Hilary better not like me.
She can't like me...
No.
I just figured out that those damn emotions I felt when I first saw Hilary so hesitant when she came to school grew stronger.
And I feel weird...
"I--It's not like she likes me or anything..."
Without saying anything else, I turn and left the dojo, walking out of the entrance.
I heard Dizzi say, "Step back everyone! Our Tyson needs to think! Don't stop the world champion beyblader!"
No one stopped me.
I don't want them to.
I need time to think, again.
To think hard again.
If 'Love' doesn't intrude the life of beyblading, that would be okay.
If 'Love' wouldn't be harsh and so rejected, that would be good.
If 'Love' was created, I know for sure that 'Hate' is it's twin.
'Hate'...
Since I've preached you about 'Love' while ago, maybe I can tell you what 'Hate' means in my opinion.
Hmm...
What is 'Hate'?
Basically, I would've told you the same about what I thought about 'Love' maybe I should.
Well, what EXACTLY IS 'Hate'?
Well...
To tell you the truth, I don't now exactly.
Yeah, yeah, I sound like I don't know anything at all.
Big deal.
Anyways, for all I know I don't like to hate.
Unless it's an enemy, but that ain't the subject right now.
'Hate' is the twin of 'Love'.
Like twins, they are opposites rather than the same.
I try to think back to what had happened earlier.
Days ago.
But it still doesn't go through my mind.
But I have to admit, I'm kinda slow at finding things out.
I'll tell you once more and for the last time;
I wouldn't call it 'Love'.
Just 'Rejection'...
And I don't know anything about 'Love'.
It sounds kinda weird when I say it in my mouth
But so normal when my insides say it.
My insides...
I don't know which part of my insides but maybe I'll find out soon.
I close my eyes and I headed to a place I haven't gone for a long while.
'Love'...
Hilary can't like me...
She shouldn't...
She...
She just can't.
