Thank you all for being so patient with me. I hope to be updating a little more regularly now that the horror that was this summer is officially over. Thanks also to Rosie26, who betas for me, but also encourages and inspires me to write the best that I can.


Faramir

What have I done?

I had been utterly defeated as my wife had demanded me away from her. I had thought that she would wish me with her, providing comfort during the most difficult time that we had yet faced as a married couple. But I had not expected her indifferent reaction as I had informed her that I would be departing the White City.

I could not fathom what it was that I had done to merit such careless handling of a sudden. It was not as if I had not grown accustomed to coldness over the years, but never should I have expected it from Éowyn, the one person who had always treated me with respect and love. Suddenly I was adrift in unknown waters, alone.

"She just needs time to come to terms with what has happened, dear boy. You cannot expect her to behave normally under such circumstances," I heard my uncle say, but he had not been there, had not seen the finality in her steely gaze before she had turned her face from me. And despite how wrong it felt to me, I had obeyed her, unable to do aught else, unwilling to hurt her further in her weakened and vulnerable state.

"Will you travel with me, Uncle? Or shall I go alone?" I asked him.

"Can you not just stay out of her sight for a few days, Fara?"

"Nay, I must go. I told her that I would, and though I continually fail her, I will not lie to her."

"Faramir." His voice held more than a hint of exasperation. "Where will you go?" he finally asked, seeing that I was steadfast.

"I shall seek solace with the king. Hopefully he will allow me to aid him at the River Poros."

My uncle's eyes widened for a moment. "I think there is little solace to be had at the River Poros, lad. Are you certain that is the best solution?"

I nodded. "I cannot go to Emyn Arnen alone. I have nowhere else to go."

"Might it help if I spoke to your lady wife?"

I sighed heavily. "I doubt it, but you are welcome to try, Uncle."

"Then I shall try to show her the error of her ways."

I nodded but held little hope that even Uncle could turn the tide of Éowyn's stubbornness.


Éowyn

I was surprised to see Uncle Imrahil when next I opened my eyes. He was smiling, but his grey eyes held something else within them, and I feared that he was here to berate me for what had happened between my husband and me. Instead, he pulled a small nosegay of violets from behind his back and offered it to me with a flourish. Carefully, I pushed myself up in bed, and, smiling at him, took his beautiful offering.

"I did not expect to see you, Uncle."

He looked pained. "Why ever not? I feel remiss that I did not come sooner, Éowyn," he said as he sank down into the bedside chair. "How are you feeling, my dear?"

I shrugged. "I am well enough, though I remain desperately weary, but Arwen tells me that it shall pass with time."

He nodded, and looked uncomfortable. "I know not how to express the sorrow I felt when I heard about your son, my girl."

I simply nodded, unable to speak about that for now. I could tell now that indeed he wished to speak about Faramir but did not know how to broach the subject with me. I did it for him.

"How is Faramir?"

A spark lit his eyes as he realized that his conversation might proceed more easily now. "He is unwell, I fear, my girl. He is neglecting his health again, as he was oft wont to do before he met you."

I made no comment, though I thought much upon his words as I stared at the flowers that I yet held in my hands.

"He departs for the River Poros tomorrow at dawn, and I am going with him."

I am certain that my quick look betrayed my surprise and concern to him. "Poros? I thought that he would never return there."

"As did I, but he feels that since you do not need him, he would go and aid his king, giving himself over to Gondor once again."

I nodded. "Part of me expected this from him, though I am uncertain that he is ready to go so far afield again." I looked intently at him. "Will you watch over him?"

"It is the only reason that I will accompany him, my dear. Though I am a poor substitute for his wife, I shall do my best in your stead." He paused and then plunged ahead. "I wish that you would reconsider your decision, Éowyn."

"It was not I who decided that he should go to the River Poros. In truth, I thought only to drive him to return to Emyn Arnen without me."

"He says that he cannot bear to go there without you." He looked down at the floor before he again gazed upon me. "Both of you are so stubborn! Why would you wish him away from you at all? Can you not call him back to you before he departs?"

"I cannot bear the look in his eyes, Uncle. To think that he blames me for the loss of the heir to the Stewardship of Gondor is something that I need time to adjust to."

"But that is the heart of the problem, my dear. He does not blame you. He loves you, and he wishes for the opportunity to comfort you in your time of grief, just as he is grieving and wishes for comfort from you."

My long silence must have signaled to him the end of my willingness to listen to his words, and he stood.

"Please consider what I have said, dear girl. He needs you, Éowyn, and you need him, too, though you may not think so. It should be much easier to reconsider before he has departed."

I nodded again, and as he turned to go, I looked at his retreating back with tears in my eyes. "Goodbye, Uncle," I whispered, and he paused a moment but did not look back at me before he exited the room.


Faramir

I was awake long before dawn. In truth, I am uncertain that I slept at all that night. At every slight noise, I thought that someone might be coming to me with a message from Éowyn, but the morning arrived with no word, and I removed the splints and sling from my left arm, hoping that it was healed enough to endure this treatment before I dressed slowly in my ranger garb, glad to have something familiar to do. Then I retrieved my pack, and went downstairs. I strode into the corridor that led to her room, intending to enter and tell her how stupid I had been, but something stopped me outside of her door. Instead of entering, I pressed my hand against the cold wood and prayed for her quick recovery and for her word to come to me with all haste. Briefly I wondered if she was sleeping within as I did wish to look upon her face once more before I departed the city, but I did not wish to disturb her either way.

With a quiet sigh, I left my residence and went directly to the stables, finding my rangers and my uncle all ready to go. Again they had saddled Simbelmynë for me, and I mounted him straightaway, briefly nodding to Mablung and Damrod, who both looked extremely uncomfortable as they gazed upon me. I was somewhat heartened to see Madach was among those who were riding with me, as I was hoping to be able to convince him to return to his home in South Gondor.

Before I could call the order to ride, the Queen of Gondor entered the stable with Thíri behind her. I bowed from horseback, as did we all, and bid her a good morning. She returned the greeting and then asked if we might speak in private. I agreed and dismounted, and she drew me into an empty stall some distance away.

"Faramir, it grieves me that you depart from us on such uncertain terms. Will you not reconsider your actions?"

"I cannot, my lady. If Éowyn will not have me, then I have no choice but to give myself to Gondor's well-being, for I cannot remain idle at such a time."

She nodded, and her eyes lit upon my left arm that was already beginning to ache. "As soon as you reach Estel, he will berate you for neglecting yourself."

"I expect that, yes."

Arwen handed me a small bag containing a dried herb that had a scent unfamiliar to me. "Make a tea with this for the next three days, and I deem that your arm shall give you little pain after that, Faramir."

"Thank you, my lady."

"Remember that you yet have friends in the White City, and we shall all worry about you until you are safely returned. And please, Faramir, when you do return, come back whole and unharmed." She smiled, and it caught me off guard as it seemed as if I had not seen a friendly face not creased with worry in an age. Without thinking, I hugged her, and she returned the gesture with equal zeal.

When I released her, I said, "It is reassuring to know that there is someone watching for my return."

"She shall worry about you in your absence as well, and I shall do all that I can to convince her that you should be called home quickly."

I nodded, and then we departed the stall. I saw Thíri had coaxed Uncle from his horse and was now hugging him tightly and wishing him a safe journey. When she released him, she turned to me and hugged me tightly as well, though she offered no words because she was crying. I kissed her brow and then remounted Simbelmynë.

Finding Arwen's eyes again, I said, "Please, watch over Éowyn for me."

"I shall. Give my love to Estel."

"I shall." With one final look at her and Thíri, I gave the order to depart, and the horses moved forth, carrying us toward the Great Gate and then southward. I hoped to be recalled home as soon as possible.


Éomer

I awakened late that morning, for I finally could sleep, knowing that Éowyn was out of physical danger, and so I took advantage of it. There was no one in the dining hall to break my fast with, but I enjoyed my eggs and venison anyway, eating every bite. As I was rising to go see my sister, Lothíriel wandered into the room, obviously on her way to the kitchen, but she cautiously bid me a good morning, and I returned the sentiment with a cool nod.

"My lady, how fare you?" I asked, noting the dull look in her eye.

"I am tired, and I am saddened to be parted from Daddy."

I was confused by her words. "Where is your father?"

"Faramir departed this morning for the River Poros, and Daddy went with him. I shall miss them both terribly, and I am considering taking a ship back to Dol Amroth as soon as Éowyn is fully well."

"Faramir did what?" My tone seemed to surprise her.

"He departed for the River Poros at dawn with my father and a company of rangers," Lothíriel repeated as if she were speaking with a stupid child.

"Why did he do that?"

"Because Éowyn bade him go."

I felt my ire quickly rising. "Surely she did not tell him to leave the city!"

"I do not know the details, but I do know that Daddy said Éowyn told Fara to stay away from her. Fara is a man of action, Lord Éomer. He is unable to sit idly for long. And I think that if Éowyn were to bid him to jump from the edge of the seventh circle, he would do it if he thought that it would please her."

"Then he is a fool, Lady Lothíriel, for anyone who is sane should realize that Éowyn never intended for him to depart the city! What a daft, pigheaded fool he is!" I roared.

"How dare you speak of him that way?"

I could not dally with her any longer, for I had to find Faramir and haul him back to Minas Tirith. I had seen his poor condition and knew that he was unprepared for a long journey by horseback into an unknown and likely dangerous situation. She continued to call out after me as I hurried from the steward's residence without even taking the time to bid Éowyn farewell, for I knew that the sooner I was atop my horse, the sooner I could find Faramir.

I turned once and shouted back to her, "I have no time to chat, my lady. You have my permission to be as angry as you wish for the way I speak of your idiotic cousin, but I am going to chase him down and fetch him home, even if it kills us both!"

When last I saw Lothíriel, she was standing on the stairs, hands on hips, eyes flashing, and I was regretting the fact that I had to leave her behind for this particular ride.


Lothíriel

"Éowyn!" I cried as I burst into her sickroom without knocking. "Your brother is so maddening!"

Though it was obvious that she had not been sleeping, she looked weary, and I noticed that she had been crying. "What has he done now?" she asked, obviously expecting me to tell her of some petty problem between the King of Rohan and me.

"He is going right now to saddle his horse and chase after Fara! I am afraid what your brother might do when he finds your husband."

"What?" She seemed genuinely concerned though perhaps a little confused. She murmured to herself, "Faramir really did leave. I did not think that he could go so easily." Sighing, she threw back the covers and swung her legs out of the bed, pausing to catch her breath after even that small effort.

"Éowyn, what are you doing?" I asked her.

"I must go after them. I fear that Éomer might do something rash, and that is not right since it is I who began this trouble." She pushed herself onto her feet, and might have collapsed onto the floor had I not pushed her back down.

"Éowyn! You are in no condition to ride!" I said.

"Send someone after him, Lothíriel," she said weakly. "Find Éomer before he departs Minas Tirith, and tell him that I require his presence here immediately."

I nodded and ran from her room, hoping that I might find him in time. But when I arrived at the stables, I found Firefoot's stall empty and all of those of the king's riders' mounts as well. Without thinking, I hailed a passing stableboy, asking him to saddle Roäc, and without another word I was rushing down to the fourth circle, taking only enough time to grab a few articles of clothing and my small bag of coins before I was again on horseback and rushing from the entrance of the city at a heart pounding pace.


Faramir

My group and I had not been upon the road but for a few hours when my uncle finally grew tired of my silence and fell back among the rangers to strike up a conversation with them. I was relieved to be alone at last, able to brood without being pestered. But, of course, almost instantly Mablung and Damrod drew their mounts up beside mine, and we rode together for a while in silence before Damrod finally asked, "How fare you, Captain?"

"Aye. Is there aught that you need?" added Mablung.

"There is much that I need, but naught that you can give to me, though I thank you for your concern," I replied quietly and steadily.

"Is Lady Éowyn well?" asked Damrod, and I was surprised to find that their questions were causing more anxiety for me rather than providing succor as they were intended to do.

"Men, I would not speak of her right now, if you please. We have a long journey before us, and I need my wits about me, so please, fall back into line, and I shall speak with you later." They both murmured their assent though I knew that I had surprised them with my reluctance to speak with them, for I had only seen them once since I had returned to Minas Tirith and their sympathy was apparent. But I could not bear their curiosity nor their concern, and I truly wished to save thinking about Éowyn for the darkness of the nights when I was truly alone.

It was not much longer before Madach drew his mount up beside mine, and we rode side by side in silence for a long while. Eventually he spoke in his particular manner that came from having no true discipline enforced upon him as he grew up. "Why did you leave the city?"

"Because I needed to."

"Are you yet ill?"

"No, I am not ill. I am quite recovered from my injuries."

"But you look ill."

I glared at him. "Thank you very much for pointing that out to me."

He shrugged. I was already regretting allowing him to come to Minas Tirith with us, and now I was resenting the fact that he needed to be returned home, and it fell to me to see that he was.

"Is not your wife ill, too?"

"Yes, Madach," I snapped. "She is ill! But she will not allow me near her!"

"But you are bigger than she is."

A boy's logic is often flawed through oversimplification. "You shall learn someday that just because you might be bigger than someone, it does not mean that you should force them to do something that they wish not to do."

"What did you do to her?"

His question was maddening since I had been asking myself the same thing. Before I could form a suitable reply, Mablung spoke up from behind us. "Mad, come here! You are bothering the captain."

The boy turned and looked quizzically at my ranger and then looked to me again. "I was just wondering. I do not mean to bother you, sir." It was the most respect that he had ever shown to me.

"I know oft it is difficult to curb one's tongue when one is young and undisciplined," I murmured without looking at him.

"I just never had anyone who would listen before," he said innocently, and I felt guilt because none of this was his fault, and though he was indeed young and undisciplined, I owed my life to this boy.

"Mad!" bellowed Mablung, and Madach sighed and slowed his horse, leaving me alone at the head of the column once again.

When we finally camped late that evening, I kept to myself, and the others seemed obliged to allow me to do that, and I was relieved that I would not have to make any conversation. But eventually, as the night grew more quiet, Madach made his way to my side and sat down silently next to me much as he had done before when I had been poisoned and had expected to die. Though I awaited the boy to speak, he seemed content to remain silent as he wordlessly offered me some water and a piece of bread. I refused both and wished silently that he would go back to the rest of the rangers, but when all of the others had settled down for the night, he remained with me, and he did not lie down until I finally did.

"I am sorry," he murmured in the darkness, and I did not answer him for I did not want to betray my tears to him. But there was something very reassuring about his mere presence, and I was reminded that I was not truly alone, no matter how desolate I felt.


Lothíriel

I rode Roäc as quickly as I dared along the road toward the south, hoping to catch sight of the King of Rohan's party as soon as possible. I cursed Lord Éomer silently most of the time, vowing to murder him when I finally found him.

After some time had passed, and the sun fell low in the sky, I realized that I had committed a serious error. I was alone outside of the city, unguarded, unaccompanied, and there was nowhere suitable for me to sleep within five leagues of my present location. I also rued the fact that I had not worn appropriate riding attire, as I had not planned on being ahorse that day at all.

It was with more than a little trepidation that I pulled Roäc into the foliage next to the road and unsaddled him before I gave him his freedom so he might graze while I attempted to get some rest, knowing there would be a terrible price to pay for my impetuous foolishness. But before I finally drifted into restless sleep, I managed to twist the angry thoughts in my head to make even this seem like Lord Éomer's fault.