I know I know I know! It's taken me long enough. I haven't updated in AGES. but school started and I was working on my LOTR website called Happy Ring (which is really nifty and you should check it out: ) and then FINALS came and we just got over with them today- but I got nearly 8 more pages written, so I hope you'll forgive me. Late Jan, and we still got the Christmas Spirit going!

To my dandy reviewers: WOOT! YOU'RE COOL!

Emerald Griffin: Yay! Better keep laughing, cuz if you fell over you may have hurt yourself, and as laughter is the best medicine. Okay, that was incredibly lame, but forgive me, I'm drinking a VERY cold milkshake in the middle of winter and my brain is numb.

Pot Clover: Pippin didn't QUITE choose death. just severe maiming. ;) More for ya!

Rachel13: I'll have him get something from you in the mail after Christmas, howzat? Here's more story, and it is indeed WELL after Christmas, so it's all good!

Erestor: . well, displaying a missing finger takes vast amounts of talent, which, erm, we can just pretend Frodo has. :D Waking people up is fun. I've had a lot of practice; I'm a younger sibling. ;)

A-H-A-P: WOOT! Go me! Go you! Go You for saying Go me! Well, you didn't say go ME, you said specifically 'go you,' but, I'm not you so I wouldn't say- yeah. And I'm sure Gimli gets lots of fanmail, he's just supremely fun to make fun of. Muahahaha.

Jewel Valentine: Hehehe- I sang that song while looking at the ZooLights at -gasp- the Zoo, and my mom put about 20 feet in between us! You're right. Gandalf and Pajamas really doesn't work at all. I have absolutely no idea what I was thinking. Hehehe- but it's funny!

Hard Habit: WOOT! You rule! And a rather belated 'belated Merry and Pippin Christmas' to you as well!

The Lady of Light: I'm sorry, my Merry Christmas is beyond belated, but please understand that I mean it with all my heart.

Evil Punk: May the Sugar Plum Fairies bless your life!

WillowVilya: *bows in return* Thank you, thank you, no applause, just throw money!

Nightshade: I feel your pain, and I did sort of lie. I DO have another LOTR fan in my family. It's just that she lives in Okinawa, Japan.

The Morrigan three: Yeah, after seeing ROTK and Gandalf's staff wielding your heart really goes out to Pip!

Rinny Leonhart/Rikku: Well, this wasn't exactly SOON, but it was more all the same.

AshNight2: Coolies! I'm glad I've contributed something for both you and your sister to share!

Ithilin Palandiriel: Thanks for your support! And about the Elf sleeping thing. I knew that. *whistles innocently and looks the other way*

Pyro Faerie: Sing "Gandalf Got Run Over By a Reindeer as much as you like. Though I fear it's a tad bit out of season. Who cares? I feel so special!!!

Now, on to the story at last!!!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Aragorn, Gimli, and Gandalf must have blinked. One moment the presents were beneath the tree, all perfectly wrapped beneath the Christmas tree lights' warm glow... And the next it looked more like a war zone. Wrapping paper littered the floor, at least half of them had a bow of some sort attached to their heads, and each of them were showing off what Santa had brought.

"I need my coffee." Aragorn muttered, shaking his head. He had become rather addicted to the brew, and could rarely go with less than 5 cups in the morning alone.

"Socks!" Sam cried gleefully, waving them around. "I got socks!"

"What? NOT fair!" The other Hobbits crowded around him enviously. Hobbits, with their abnormally large feet, were difficult to find socks for. Normally socks were an unnecessary bother, but in the cold winter months it was nice to have something to keep feet warm, as sometimes curly hair simply didn't cut it.

"None of the rest of you got socks?" Gandalf asked. "I was sure that I- I mean, SANTA, got each of you a pair."

"Really?" The others looked up hopefully.

"Maybe he left them in my room by mistake." Gandalf hurriedly went upstairs, and Aragorn and Gimli quickly turned on the radio to bury the incriminating sound of rustling paper, snipping scissors, and the pulling and cracking of tape.

Fortunately for those trying to keep the Santa charade alive, the others didn't think to wonder as to why Santa would leave the Hobbits' presents in Gandalf's room, and they continued displaying their spoils.

"Hey. Why did I get gloves with only nine fingers?" Merry displayed a glove, and indeed the index (or middle for you book-readers) was sewn off. "I have a full set."

"And why did I ged a pull ded ob bots and bans?" Pippin asked, all of his P's, T's and S's turning to D's or B's and his F's into P's with his stuffed nose. "I don' cook." ("With good reason," Sam muttered. Pippin glared at him.)

"Why did I get a scarf?" Frodo held one up. "I can't wear them, I have sensitive skin."

"Why've I got a hand towel set that says 'Merry' on them?" Sam asked in confusion.

The Hobbits looked at each other for a moment, and then made the proper switches.

"Thad Sanda," Pippin sighed, lovingly stroking his new fuzzy scarf, "He must hab thad disease thad old people hab. What' id called?"

"Um, starts with an 'A,'" Frodo said absentmindedly, trying on his new gloves.

"Let's ask Gandalf when he comes back down," Sam suggested, hitting an imaginary orc with his new saucepan. "He'd know." He smiled triumphantly as his "foe" was vanquished, noticed Merry giving him a strange look, and hastily put the saucepan away again.

"Where's Legolas?" Aragorn asked suddenly. The others looked around, and indeed the Elf was nowhere to be seen, though wrapping paper marked "Legolas" was strewn all over the floor- a sure sign that he had been there.

"Found the socks!" Gandalf cried triumphantly, coming down the stairs. "Santa must have that disease that old people get."

"We were just talking about that, actually," Merry commented. "What's it called?"

"Hmmm..." Gandalf said thoughtfully. "Starts with an 'A.' I don't quite recall its name."

"I wonder why that might be," Gimli whispered to Aragorn, who smacked the Dwarf but showed he was having distinct difficulty holding a straight face.

"Do YOU know where Leglas is?" Pippin asked, still petting his scarf. He looked rather pleased that his sentence had come out almost flawless.

"Confounded Elf's in the shower," Gandalf grumbled. "Santa must have gotten him all that hair stuff he asked for." Everyone grinned.

"But he'll be another hour," Frodo complained. "We need him to get Aragorn's present."

"My present?" Aragorn repeated in surprise.

"Yes, YOUR present," Sam said, rolling his eyes. "Santa hasn't brought you, Gimli, nor Gandalf neither, one in years."

"So THIS year, we- meaning Legolas, Pip, Frodo, Sam, and I- got presents for you guys instead of depending on Santa." Merry explained.

Pippin sighed. "Bud Leglas hid id somewhere where we can' reach, and we need him do ged it!'

"Sorry there's only one present for you, Strider, and you too, Mr. Gandalf," Sam said apologetically, "but yours was big and cost a bit of a lot..."

"It's fine Sam," Aragorn said, smiling.

Frodo made an interesting noise of irritation. "However, this only matters if Legolas ever gets out of the shower!"

There was a pause, broken only by wafts of Christmas carols drifting from the radio, which they all had neglected to turn off.

"Oh, somebody just go and flush the toilet or something." Gimli laughed. "That'd get him out quick enough."

Pippin's eyes widened in horror. "Nod me! I'b been beaden ub quide enough por one day!"

"It was your idea, Gimli," Merry pointed out. "YOU do it!"

"ME?!" Gimli repeated in shock, this obviously not the way that he had been planning his Christmas morning to go about. "But- but- well, why should I care if Aragorn has to wait another two hours before he gets his present?"

"Because," Merry said, a smirk appearing on his face, "he hid your present, too."

Gimli paused, considering, but then sat back in his chair, shaking his head. "I choose life." Pippin stared at him, mystified.

"You do it, Mr. Gandalf," Sam urged, but the other merely shook his head.

"Aragorn?" Frodo wheedled.

Aragorn laughed. "You clearly weren't there the day I came between him and his hair care."

Everyone stared at one another, unmoving. Unmoving, that is, until Pippin had to get up the get another tissue. They all waited patiently for him to sit back down, and stared at each other again.

"I'll do it," Merry sighed at last, rubbing his burning eyes. I'm smaller and harder to catch than most of you, anyway." He strode up the stairs, only pausing to glare at Gimli, who had been humming the funeral march.

They all waited with baited breath, and sure enough:

"AAAIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

"That," Gandalf smirked, "would be Legolas."

"Who? WHO? Wha- MERRY? MERRY WHAT IN THE DICKENS WERE YOU THINKING!!! GET BACK HERE! NOW!"

"How dupid dus he dink Merry is?" Pippin commented.

"Pretty stupid, apparently," Frodo shrugged.

"Legolas- Legolas- now calm down, Legolas. think of what you're doing. Legolas? Put that down Legolas. Legolas? LEGOLAS?" A thump- apparently Merry had dodged. "OH NO!!! LEGOLAS, LOOK!! SPLIT ENDS!!!"

"WHAT?! Where???"

Suddenly Merry was sitting on the couch next to Pippin again.

"Wow!" Sam gushed. "I ain't never seen nobody move that fast, Mr. Merry, and no mistake."

"You've never watched me run from a hair-crazed angry Legolas, now have you?"

"No, not by all rights, but I've seen Pippin run from him right and proper."

"Yeah, bud I was limpding!" Pippin pointed out in an injured tone.

Legolas chose that moment to come down the stairs, his wounds burning bright red where the soap had stung and his shirt was clinging to him. He looked more disheveled than he had when he had woken up that morning.

"Legolas, why didn't you at least wait until the cuts closed?" Aragorn asked reasonably. "It would have hurt a lot less."

Legolas glowered at him. "Hair care waits for no one."

"Ah. Right." Aragorn raised an eyebrow but said nothing else.

"Now, refresh my memory. WHY did you need to flush me out of the shower?"

"We need you to get Aragorn's, Gimli's, and Gandalf's presents!" Frodo said, as though it were plainly obvious.

Legolas sighed and pulled his shirt away from him with a slucking sound. "Why couldn't you just show them where they were and let them get them themselves?"

Merry blinked. "Um, there were too many 'them's right there."

"One, we all need to be in the same room, it's traditional," Sam said firmly.

"Yeah!" Pippin agreed. "An' two, you can'd hab dem ged deir own gifds- thad' jusd ruin id!"

"It sucks being unable to pronounce your 'th's and 't's, doesn't it?" Merry asked, looking at him sideways. Pippin nodded forcefully. "Gandalf, you and all your nifty wizard powers, can't you do something about that?"

Gandalf shrugged. "Probably, but I think it's funny."

"Ga-dauf!" Pippin cried accusingly.

Gandalf sighed. "Alright, alright, fine." He promptly clunked Pippin over the head.

"Hey!" Merry said indignantly on his unconscious cousin's behalf.

Gandalf nudged Pippin's still form with his staff. "Didn't mean to do it that hard."

Everyone rolled their eyes, and Legolas let out a heavy, world-weary sigh. "Since I was so rudely ejected from my normal personal hygiene habits, I may as well grab your presents." Merry and Sam gave him a Look. "What? We'll wait until Pippin wakes up to open them, of course."

Sam looked satisfied, and Merry transferred his Look from Legolas back to Gandalf.

"What? I'm sorry, alright?"

Pippin suddenly stirred. "Really, Gandalf, haven't you done that enough for one day?"

"Well, you can breathe through your nose again, can't you? And that last sentence was perfectly pronounced."

"Hey, cool!!! Thanks, Gandalf!"

Gimli frowned. "He thanks you for knocking him unconscious? Not fair! Hey Pippin, come here."

Pippin stuck his tongue out at Gimli just as Legolas waltzed into the room. Literally.

"Those are, erm, nice dance steps," Frodo told him as Legolas did a fancy little spin and put the presents gently down before performing a high, ballet-like leap and landing perfectly on the couch.

"Thank you," Legolas said in a not-so-modest fashion. "I love being an Elf."

"Show off," Gimli muttered sullenly.

"For Mr. Gandalf," Sam started, reaching for a package and interrupting the Elf's and the Dwarf's bickering.

Gandalf received the large box on his lap and slooooooooooooowly pulled off the wrapping paper, being sure to not tear it at all. Legolas, Merry, Sam, Frodo, and Pippin stared at him in awe.

"How can he restrain himself from just ripping it all off?" Merry whispered into Sam's ear. Sam merely shook his head and stared.

Gandalf peeked inside the box, let out a high, excited, very un-Gandalf- like shriek of excitement (which he later denied all knowledge of ever doing), and fled from the room, carrying his box with him. Moments later he returned, the gift apparently stashed in some secret place.

"Erm, thank you," Gandalf said restrainedly, all dignity returned. "But, how did you know that-"

"Well," said Legolas, shifting as though uncomfortable, "you're very hard to shop for, and so I made Pippin do a little. hunting, and, well, he found your little. shrine."

Gandalf's face darkened a shade, and turned to Pippin, who was apparently trying to become one with the couch cushions.

"Now, now, Gandalf, I made him do it," Legolas said in defense, kindly forgetting that it was because of Pippin that he had until recently held a bag of frozen peas to his forehead.

"Besides," Aragorn put in, "You've definitely got Pippin back."

Pippin nodded, having given up upon blending with the couch. "And you liked your gift!"

Gandalf had to admit this was true, and he returned to his seat.

"Gimli's gift. or gifts, I should say." Frodo lifted up a small rectangular package, as well as two large bottle-shaped ones.

"You didn't!" Gimli eagerly pulled the wrapping of the bottles. "You did!"

"No alcohol until AFTER dinner tonight," Sam warned. Gimli sulkily put the bottle opener that he constantly carried on his person down.

"Open your other one, Gimli!" Merry urged.

Gimli did so. "A gift certificate for Drunkard's Bar and Grill! Yes!"

"Really?" Aragorn and Gandalf leaned forward in interest. "How much?"

Gimli pulled the card to his chest and scowled. "None of your business."

"And last, but certainly not least. Aragorn's gift!" Sam tried and failed rather horribly to lift the large parcel; Legolas rolled his eyes and handed it to Aragorn effortlessly. Sam sulked a bit, but that was as far as it went.

"Sheeze, what did you guys get me, a brick wall?" Aragorn gasped at the unexpected weight before mastering himself.

"Nah, it's better," Pippin grinned.

Aragorn paused in his unwrapping. "Your 'better', or my 'better?'"

"Yours," Legolas assured.

Aragorn shrugged and pulled off the last of the paper, and his jaw dropped to the floor. "You- you- you got me the Caffeine-ator 3000*!!! The best espresso-maker known to exist!!!!"

Frodo raised an eyebrow. "Really? I could've SWORN we got you the Caffiene-ator extreme 6000**, which does a lot more than make espresso."

Aragorn re-read the box, and shrieked with joy as he ripped it open. With an unearthly glow and a classic soundtrack the Caffiene-ator extreme 6000 was revealed. "Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou *gasp* thankyouthankyou-" came at a mile a minute.

"Well, that was fun," Pippin said brightly. "When's Second Breakfast?"