Yeah, yeah, I haven't updated in a while, but I got some evil worm thingy
of evilness so I can't go online. *glower* My poor website- it's so
alooooone
Wow. FF.net has been throwing in all these random lines in places and taking out exclamation points, quotations, etc. I don't know why. It quite frankly bugs me. Anyway
Sorry it took me so long! I hope you're still interested in some stupid Christmas fic. Hey, we need this season all the time
Anyway: To my nifty reviewers (I got kinda discombobulated and I'm not entirely sure who I've replied to already or not, so... If you review and I didn't reply, merely yell at me in your next review and I'll give you candy
Ithilin Palandriel: All I can say to you is this: don't die. It's bad. I've flushed my sister out once... Course, it's a miracle that I'm here now... And THANK YOU! (For the "you're weird part) Ooh! Daddy just gave me a Zero bar. Yummy... Anyway, this deosn't relate
Rinny Leonheart/Rikku: Wow! I just realized that I saw you at my Aragorn Diary fic! I updated it, I'm so proud of me! Anyway, thankies for giving this one a shot! We all know of Legolas and his hair obsession... It's so fun to make fun of
AshNight2: Oh, there's definitely more... It's just taking it's own sweet time to GET here. :) Thanks for flying with Reasonably Crazy Fanfics- please have a nice day.
Wettlewash: YAY! Thank you!
My not-physically-possibly-yet-somehow-still-existent Baby Ringwraith thinks you all are cool and he promises not to bite you.
Baby Ringwraith: SCRECH!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
They ate a hearty second breakfast; indeed, very hearty: Sam was most eager to use his new pots and pans and made enough pancakes to satisfy all the hungry Hobbits to the point of bursting. Aragorn had consumed enough caffeine already to keep him up until New Years, and there was general content throughout the house. Except in one person.
"Hey, um, Sam?" Merry shifted uneasily from left to right as he finally spilled what had apparently been on his mind for some time. "Can I- I mean, Would it be alright if- Well, Would you allow me to- please, just this once... Cook Christmas dinner?"
Dead silence filled the room as everyone stared in shock. Never once had any of them thought for a moment that Merry had any interest at all in cooking.
Sam almost laughed in disbelief. "You? Why?"
Merry did a nervous sort of twitch. "Well, actually, I don't think anyone else knows this, but I've actually been watching the Food Channel a lot lately..... Mostly late at night when everyone else is asleep..... And when everyone else is gone..... And sometimes even when everyone else is home- I use the TV in the attic..."
"So THAT'S where you kept disappearing off to!" Pippin cried in sudden enlightenment.
"Yeah, well, I've been practicing a lot at night, too, and I think I'm getting really good- I've got a whole five-course meal planned out already! So..... Pleeeeeeaaaaaaase?" Merry donned his best puppy face. It wasn't nearly as good as Frodo's, but then again, not everyone can have giant baby blue eyes that look like they've been computer-enhanced. "I know it's a big thing for you, but you've done it EVERY YEAR- can I do it just this once?"
Everyone looked to Sam.
"But- but- I've ALWAYS done it," Sam said, looking horrified at the very thought of his big Christmas meal being ripped away. "It's like a TRADITION....."
"I know, and if I screw it up tonight, I'll never let myself watch Food Channel again, or even THINK of cooking."
Sam stared at Merry. Everyone else stared at Sam. Sam suddenly noticed this and cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Well, alright...." Merry's face brightened so much that it literally let off a faint glow, and opened his mouth to let loose a stream of thanks. "BUT, you can't use any of my new pans. I won't have them ruined on day one."
"Oh, that's fine. Thank you, Sam! Thankyouthankyouthank *gasp* youthankyouthankyouthankyou....."
"Oh, Stop, you're sounding like Aragorn....." Sam muttered in irritation.
The mood was quickly broken as a large snowball was thrown, colliding with Gandalf's head.
"PIPPIN!!!" He thundered immediately.
"What?" Pippin asked innocently. "What makes you think it was me?"
"Well, let's think about that," Gandalf started sarcastically, "You're the only one who's not wearing pajamas and is currently bundled up. You are the only one with gloves that are covered in snow-"
"And you're the only one stupid enough," Gimli finished dryly.
"Thank you, Gimli," Gandalf nodded in agreement.
"Yeah, thanks," Pippin said, in an entirely different way. "Anyway, that's the general que for our annual snow ball fight!"
"How did you get dressed so fast?" Frodo asked suddenly. "Not three minutes ago you were realizing where Merry disappeared off to."
Pippin merely glanced at Merry, and the both of them grinned. "Well, if we told you that, we'd have to kill you."
"Well, I am off to plan my revenge," Gandalf announced, sneaking towards his room. He was surprisingly competitive in their snowball fights, and the others had the distinct impression that his revenge would be exacted quite perfectly.
"And I am off to find body armor," Aragorn reported. "Gimli has the nasty habit of sneaking rocks into his snowballs."
"It's not a REAL snowball fight if someone's not injured," Gimli insisted. "Preferably there should be blood drawn."
"Perhaps I'll go find some armor, too..." Sam said nervously, drifting towards the stairs.
"Why bother?" Frodo asked, nudging him good-naturedly. "You always build the most impenetrable forts ever- no one ever makes a shot at you." Sam shrugged.
Suddenly there was a screech of disbelief. Contrary to everyone's initial beliefs, it was not Legolas, but Pippin; Legolas was instead cackling madly. Pippin was trying in vain to get all of the snow out from the back of his shirt, where a large amount had been stuffed by the Elf. There was also a large amount in the youngest Hobbit's hair, suggesting there had been a snowball thrown as well.
"PLEASE restrain yourselves and avoid throwing snowballs in the house!" Sam cried angrily. "Those are hardwood floors, I've just had them polished, and I WON'T have them ruined!"
"Sorry Sam," Legolas said, giggling madly and not looking sorry at all, "but he deserved it."
"Did not," Pippin whined, shaking out his hair and pretending he had successfully removed the slush, while in reality he had given up. "I attacked Gandalf, not you."
"Ah ah ah, but the snowball fight is free-for-all, and you said it was started."
Pippin looked suspiciously at them all, then turned and dashed outside. Legolas sneaked out the back door, and by the time Aragorn was prepared he was rather afraid of stepping out the front door. With good reason. When he finally summoned the courage and stepped onto the walk, he was immediately barraged with snowballs from both sides. Gasping, he crawled back to the house.
"Strider! What is it?" Sam quickly rushed to Aragorn's side when he found him sprawled on the floor. Aragorn couldn't reply; if Sam hadn't known better he would have sworn the man was laughing. What Sam didn't know was that Aragorn really was. He took one look at the Gamgee, who had pillows tied all around and an old frying pan helmet, and couldn't speak, laugh, and breathe at the same time.
"What 'appened, Strider?"
Seeing how concerned Sam really was, Aragorn struggled to regain himself. "Pippin and Legolas- I think they've formed an alliance! They're nailing anyone who steps out that door."
"You'll be safe enough, Sam," Frodo urged, coming off the stairs. "You go see if they've gone. Besides, it's GIMLI who puts rocks in his. You'll be quite safe."
"I better be," Sam grumbled. He dubiously stepped onto the Welcome mat.
Thlop! Thlop thlop thlop thlop thlop thlop! The balls made no impact on Sam, who was safely wrapped in pillows.
"Hey!" Merry shouted from the door. "Are those MY pillows?"
Sam didn't answer, but ran across the yard. "Get out of the house, Mr. Frodo!" He shouted. "I'll draw their fire!"
Thlop thlop thlop thlop thlop- PIFFscitter! A well-aimed shot smacked Sam clean across the face, and he stumbled.
"Augh!" Sam shouted. "I'm hit! Rocks! Rocks, Mr. Frodo! Watch for Gimli and Legolas!" His strength left him and he fell.
"SAM!" Frodo called in horror. It was a rule in their game that each of them got three lives and four injuries per life. Each time they were hit, that was an injury, unless they got hit in the head; head was immediate loss of a life. Armor such as Sam's was generally disallowed because it allowed immunity to hits, but with Sam being the safety freak (and a bad snowball-thrower) he was the exception.
Many had taken advantage of the diversion and were now spread all over the yard, but Merry and Gandalf had missed the window of opportunity and now eyed the flying snow just yards away warily.
"Out the back, do you think?" Merry asked conversationally.
"Yes, definitely out the back." Gandalf answered.
They quickly dashed to the back door and peered outside. No one was in sight. "You first. Watch for Pippin; I didn't see him out front." Gandalf gave Merry a nudge.
Taking a deep breath, Merry bravely dashed out across the back yard and dove behind the bushes lining the fence. Nothing stirred. Merry's head popped up. Still no flung snow. He crept out from behind the bush and dashed to a tree. Not even an attempt. Slowly he went and stood in the open, looking around. "All clear!" He finally shouted to Gandalf. He dashed around the side of the house in hopes of accomplishing an ambush.
Gandalf, assured, stepped from the safety of the house and stood on the back step, fearing to go much further beyond the house's eaves just yet. Alas, he should have, for Pippin's hideout was finally revealed to him- the roof.
"Heads up!" Gandalf looked up just in time to see a flashback of Caradhras come crashing down at his head.
"Curse you, you tom-fool of a Took!" Gandalf shouted once he pulled himself out of the snow. Pippin was no longer visible, but his voice floated back down to the White Wizard:
"One life down already, Gandalf!"
Muttering sourly, Gandalf picked himself up, shook off the excess snow, and peeked around the house's side to see how the others fared. Nobody was in sight, but the sounds of battle sounded clearly from the front yard. "Perhaps some luck," Gandalf murmured as he sneaked towards the others, making sure he was under the eaves so Pippin couldn't attack from above.
"Luck for me!" Shouted Frodo's voice. Only, it came from a bush. "Look out, Gandalf!"
But Frodo had made a fatal mistake. Gandalf had learned from Pippin to dodge instantly, and all of Frodo's shots went astray.
Gandalf let out an uncharacteristic evil laugh. "I've got you now," He grinned. He scooped up snow quick as lightning and threw it at Frodo's retreating form.
PIFF! "One!" PIFF! "Two!" PIFF! "Three!" Gandalf's fourth shot, however, missed, and Gandalf sagged against the house wall in irritation as his quarry dashed out of his range. But he'd forgotten Pippin.
Frodo never knew what hit him. All he knew was that at one moment, he was running and appeared to be getting away with only 3 injuries. The next think he knew he was he was face down and all he could see was white.
"That's four!" Gandalf called, and Frodo turned and shook his fist. Gandalf grinned in satisfaction. Let him think it was Gandalf that struck him down. Pippin could actually be useful to him
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Dun dun DUN... Will anyone else discover Pippin's hide-out? Will anyone ever get Pippin? What's happening with the other characters? Find out the next time Jackie actually UPDATES!!!
Wow. FF.net has been throwing in all these random lines in places and taking out exclamation points, quotations, etc. I don't know why. It quite frankly bugs me. Anyway
Sorry it took me so long! I hope you're still interested in some stupid Christmas fic. Hey, we need this season all the time
Anyway: To my nifty reviewers (I got kinda discombobulated and I'm not entirely sure who I've replied to already or not, so... If you review and I didn't reply, merely yell at me in your next review and I'll give you candy
Ithilin Palandriel: All I can say to you is this: don't die. It's bad. I've flushed my sister out once... Course, it's a miracle that I'm here now... And THANK YOU! (For the "you're weird part) Ooh! Daddy just gave me a Zero bar. Yummy... Anyway, this deosn't relate
Rinny Leonheart/Rikku: Wow! I just realized that I saw you at my Aragorn Diary fic! I updated it, I'm so proud of me! Anyway, thankies for giving this one a shot! We all know of Legolas and his hair obsession... It's so fun to make fun of
AshNight2: Oh, there's definitely more... It's just taking it's own sweet time to GET here. :) Thanks for flying with Reasonably Crazy Fanfics- please have a nice day.
Wettlewash: YAY! Thank you!
My not-physically-possibly-yet-somehow-still-existent Baby Ringwraith thinks you all are cool and he promises not to bite you.
Baby Ringwraith: SCRECH!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
They ate a hearty second breakfast; indeed, very hearty: Sam was most eager to use his new pots and pans and made enough pancakes to satisfy all the hungry Hobbits to the point of bursting. Aragorn had consumed enough caffeine already to keep him up until New Years, and there was general content throughout the house. Except in one person.
"Hey, um, Sam?" Merry shifted uneasily from left to right as he finally spilled what had apparently been on his mind for some time. "Can I- I mean, Would it be alright if- Well, Would you allow me to- please, just this once... Cook Christmas dinner?"
Dead silence filled the room as everyone stared in shock. Never once had any of them thought for a moment that Merry had any interest at all in cooking.
Sam almost laughed in disbelief. "You? Why?"
Merry did a nervous sort of twitch. "Well, actually, I don't think anyone else knows this, but I've actually been watching the Food Channel a lot lately..... Mostly late at night when everyone else is asleep..... And when everyone else is gone..... And sometimes even when everyone else is home- I use the TV in the attic..."
"So THAT'S where you kept disappearing off to!" Pippin cried in sudden enlightenment.
"Yeah, well, I've been practicing a lot at night, too, and I think I'm getting really good- I've got a whole five-course meal planned out already! So..... Pleeeeeeaaaaaaase?" Merry donned his best puppy face. It wasn't nearly as good as Frodo's, but then again, not everyone can have giant baby blue eyes that look like they've been computer-enhanced. "I know it's a big thing for you, but you've done it EVERY YEAR- can I do it just this once?"
Everyone looked to Sam.
"But- but- I've ALWAYS done it," Sam said, looking horrified at the very thought of his big Christmas meal being ripped away. "It's like a TRADITION....."
"I know, and if I screw it up tonight, I'll never let myself watch Food Channel again, or even THINK of cooking."
Sam stared at Merry. Everyone else stared at Sam. Sam suddenly noticed this and cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Well, alright...." Merry's face brightened so much that it literally let off a faint glow, and opened his mouth to let loose a stream of thanks. "BUT, you can't use any of my new pans. I won't have them ruined on day one."
"Oh, that's fine. Thank you, Sam! Thankyouthankyouthank *gasp* youthankyouthankyouthankyou....."
"Oh, Stop, you're sounding like Aragorn....." Sam muttered in irritation.
The mood was quickly broken as a large snowball was thrown, colliding with Gandalf's head.
"PIPPIN!!!" He thundered immediately.
"What?" Pippin asked innocently. "What makes you think it was me?"
"Well, let's think about that," Gandalf started sarcastically, "You're the only one who's not wearing pajamas and is currently bundled up. You are the only one with gloves that are covered in snow-"
"And you're the only one stupid enough," Gimli finished dryly.
"Thank you, Gimli," Gandalf nodded in agreement.
"Yeah, thanks," Pippin said, in an entirely different way. "Anyway, that's the general que for our annual snow ball fight!"
"How did you get dressed so fast?" Frodo asked suddenly. "Not three minutes ago you were realizing where Merry disappeared off to."
Pippin merely glanced at Merry, and the both of them grinned. "Well, if we told you that, we'd have to kill you."
"Well, I am off to plan my revenge," Gandalf announced, sneaking towards his room. He was surprisingly competitive in their snowball fights, and the others had the distinct impression that his revenge would be exacted quite perfectly.
"And I am off to find body armor," Aragorn reported. "Gimli has the nasty habit of sneaking rocks into his snowballs."
"It's not a REAL snowball fight if someone's not injured," Gimli insisted. "Preferably there should be blood drawn."
"Perhaps I'll go find some armor, too..." Sam said nervously, drifting towards the stairs.
"Why bother?" Frodo asked, nudging him good-naturedly. "You always build the most impenetrable forts ever- no one ever makes a shot at you." Sam shrugged.
Suddenly there was a screech of disbelief. Contrary to everyone's initial beliefs, it was not Legolas, but Pippin; Legolas was instead cackling madly. Pippin was trying in vain to get all of the snow out from the back of his shirt, where a large amount had been stuffed by the Elf. There was also a large amount in the youngest Hobbit's hair, suggesting there had been a snowball thrown as well.
"PLEASE restrain yourselves and avoid throwing snowballs in the house!" Sam cried angrily. "Those are hardwood floors, I've just had them polished, and I WON'T have them ruined!"
"Sorry Sam," Legolas said, giggling madly and not looking sorry at all, "but he deserved it."
"Did not," Pippin whined, shaking out his hair and pretending he had successfully removed the slush, while in reality he had given up. "I attacked Gandalf, not you."
"Ah ah ah, but the snowball fight is free-for-all, and you said it was started."
Pippin looked suspiciously at them all, then turned and dashed outside. Legolas sneaked out the back door, and by the time Aragorn was prepared he was rather afraid of stepping out the front door. With good reason. When he finally summoned the courage and stepped onto the walk, he was immediately barraged with snowballs from both sides. Gasping, he crawled back to the house.
"Strider! What is it?" Sam quickly rushed to Aragorn's side when he found him sprawled on the floor. Aragorn couldn't reply; if Sam hadn't known better he would have sworn the man was laughing. What Sam didn't know was that Aragorn really was. He took one look at the Gamgee, who had pillows tied all around and an old frying pan helmet, and couldn't speak, laugh, and breathe at the same time.
"What 'appened, Strider?"
Seeing how concerned Sam really was, Aragorn struggled to regain himself. "Pippin and Legolas- I think they've formed an alliance! They're nailing anyone who steps out that door."
"You'll be safe enough, Sam," Frodo urged, coming off the stairs. "You go see if they've gone. Besides, it's GIMLI who puts rocks in his. You'll be quite safe."
"I better be," Sam grumbled. He dubiously stepped onto the Welcome mat.
Thlop! Thlop thlop thlop thlop thlop thlop! The balls made no impact on Sam, who was safely wrapped in pillows.
"Hey!" Merry shouted from the door. "Are those MY pillows?"
Sam didn't answer, but ran across the yard. "Get out of the house, Mr. Frodo!" He shouted. "I'll draw their fire!"
Thlop thlop thlop thlop thlop- PIFFscitter! A well-aimed shot smacked Sam clean across the face, and he stumbled.
"Augh!" Sam shouted. "I'm hit! Rocks! Rocks, Mr. Frodo! Watch for Gimli and Legolas!" His strength left him and he fell.
"SAM!" Frodo called in horror. It was a rule in their game that each of them got three lives and four injuries per life. Each time they were hit, that was an injury, unless they got hit in the head; head was immediate loss of a life. Armor such as Sam's was generally disallowed because it allowed immunity to hits, but with Sam being the safety freak (and a bad snowball-thrower) he was the exception.
Many had taken advantage of the diversion and were now spread all over the yard, but Merry and Gandalf had missed the window of opportunity and now eyed the flying snow just yards away warily.
"Out the back, do you think?" Merry asked conversationally.
"Yes, definitely out the back." Gandalf answered.
They quickly dashed to the back door and peered outside. No one was in sight. "You first. Watch for Pippin; I didn't see him out front." Gandalf gave Merry a nudge.
Taking a deep breath, Merry bravely dashed out across the back yard and dove behind the bushes lining the fence. Nothing stirred. Merry's head popped up. Still no flung snow. He crept out from behind the bush and dashed to a tree. Not even an attempt. Slowly he went and stood in the open, looking around. "All clear!" He finally shouted to Gandalf. He dashed around the side of the house in hopes of accomplishing an ambush.
Gandalf, assured, stepped from the safety of the house and stood on the back step, fearing to go much further beyond the house's eaves just yet. Alas, he should have, for Pippin's hideout was finally revealed to him- the roof.
"Heads up!" Gandalf looked up just in time to see a flashback of Caradhras come crashing down at his head.
"Curse you, you tom-fool of a Took!" Gandalf shouted once he pulled himself out of the snow. Pippin was no longer visible, but his voice floated back down to the White Wizard:
"One life down already, Gandalf!"
Muttering sourly, Gandalf picked himself up, shook off the excess snow, and peeked around the house's side to see how the others fared. Nobody was in sight, but the sounds of battle sounded clearly from the front yard. "Perhaps some luck," Gandalf murmured as he sneaked towards the others, making sure he was under the eaves so Pippin couldn't attack from above.
"Luck for me!" Shouted Frodo's voice. Only, it came from a bush. "Look out, Gandalf!"
But Frodo had made a fatal mistake. Gandalf had learned from Pippin to dodge instantly, and all of Frodo's shots went astray.
Gandalf let out an uncharacteristic evil laugh. "I've got you now," He grinned. He scooped up snow quick as lightning and threw it at Frodo's retreating form.
PIFF! "One!" PIFF! "Two!" PIFF! "Three!" Gandalf's fourth shot, however, missed, and Gandalf sagged against the house wall in irritation as his quarry dashed out of his range. But he'd forgotten Pippin.
Frodo never knew what hit him. All he knew was that at one moment, he was running and appeared to be getting away with only 3 injuries. The next think he knew he was he was face down and all he could see was white.
"That's four!" Gandalf called, and Frodo turned and shook his fist. Gandalf grinned in satisfaction. Let him think it was Gandalf that struck him down. Pippin could actually be useful to him
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Dun dun DUN... Will anyone else discover Pippin's hide-out? Will anyone ever get Pippin? What's happening with the other characters? Find out the next time Jackie actually UPDATES!!!
