Title: One And Only: XVIII
Author: D C Luder
Summary: Third in the "Series of Three" Storyline. Set four years after the conclusion of Life Is Good. The Family moves on and... apart?
Rating: T (AKA The Rating Formerly Known As PG-13 ;) )
Infringements: All recognizable characters belong to DC Comics, not DC Luder.
Author's Note: It is highly advisable that you read Time Will Tell and Life Is Good or you may be a tad bit lost. I am writing this due to the numerous requests for a sequel. That and I am absolutely obsessed with the concept of the Bat and Cat living happily ever after.
A/N 2: I am addicted to Clean Sweep so Cass and Dana Drake are too, LOL.
Selina's dream is influenced by the 1966 "Batman: The Movie" and of course Chris's ingenious mind.
A/N 3: And Batman Begins is most definitely only THIRTEEN DAYS AWAY!
V
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Smack.
"Dick, the snooze button will yield to a lighter touch."
As he rolled over to face me, Dick took the pillow off of his head and smirked before replying, "But… It is much more satisfying to give it the old whack a roo."
I let out a quiet laugh. I had set the alarm for eight so that I could get an early start. I was redoing the computer bay in addition to touching up on a few of the countermeasures instilled in the Clocktower. Unfortunately, I had planned on Tim and Cassandra's labor but they were taking the day to move Tim out of his dorm and to set up things in his new apartment.
It hadn't come as a surprise to see him wanting to get out on his own. When he had brought pictures of the place to Mattie's graduation reception two weeks earlier, all of his threats and jokes of being an adult and living on his own suddenly came true. Selina had commented on our way to the parking lot after the ceremony that I should keep an eye out to see how late Cass came home from patrols. Apparently Bruce had overheard as we both listened to his breathing hitch.
The two of them had been remarkably odd. And by odd, I mean normal. Going out for dinner most nights and then to some movie, show or concert and on other nights they ate in the Clocktower. But the odd part came when they put the masks on at night. The cute behaviors vanished as they went to work just as they had been for years, something that I had never been able to perfect at their age. And with Tim coming home from school, I was certain that the days would be filled with even more couple cuteness while the night would be have more veracious vigilantism.
So, it was just Dick and I versus the daylong project that I feared would dip well into the evening, when my other half would no doubt bail on me to tend to roof top hopping.
The alarm went off again and this time Dick gently pressed the snooze button. I smiled and patted his arm, "Good job."
"I aim to please," he yawned.
As much as I wanted to lounge in bed all day, I forced myself up. After changing and washing up, I asked Dick if he wanted anything for breakfast. His answer didn't come until I was through the bedroom door, "Waffles. Xanex waffles."
Smiling, I made my way into the kitchen and paused to see Cass pouring herself a glass of cranberry juice, "Hey, didn't think you would be up already."
She shrugged before putting the bottle back in the fridge, "Couldn't sleep in. Pretty busy day."
"Right, when are you heading over to GSU?"
She took a sip before replying, "Ten-thirty. He has an exam until ten and said he still had a few things to pack up."
I nodded, "And then you're heading up to Bristol to get the things from his house, right?"
"Yep… Sorry we couldn't help here."
"Sure you are… That's okay. I have Dick… As useful as he is at eight in the morning."
Cass smirked before downing the rest of her juice. "Well, gonna shower and get ready I guess." As she walked into the hall, the doorbell rang and she called out that she would get it. We rarely had visitors, let alone that early. I listened as Cass opened the door and then as her soft words greeted the guest. A light male voice responded and asked if Dick was there.
A moment later Cass appeared at the doorway, "Is Dick awake yet?" After I shook my head, she said, "Oh, because his, um, partner is here."
It was then that the cropped brown haired head of Trey Richardson peered into the kitchen. We had met only a handful of times of which had been long before the shootout and Dick's resulting retirement. Seeing him, months after the ceremony that had commemorated his and Dick's bravery in the Bank of America shootout, in my home, was a slight shock.
"Trey?"
He offered a flash of a smirk before stepping into the doorway after Cassandra stepped back. Trey sported a pair of slate jeans, form fitting tee and a short sleeved plaid shirt that was unbuttoned. Out of a force of habit, I checked each of hips for any sign of a holstered weapon and smiled to see none. After putting his hands in his pants pockets, he asked, "Is Dick around? He told me this is where he would be staying for a while…"
I offered a soft smile as I folded my hands on my lap, "Yeah. Kind of a home away from home for him."
He nodded, "Yeah, his place back in the Haven wasn't nearly as cozy as this… Oh, sorry about dropping in like this, I was in town visiting my girlfriend… figured I'd take a chance that he was awake."
"Dick? Awake before noon on a Saturday?" Cass blurted out from down the hall.
We both laughed knowing Dick all too well.
Before I could offer Trey a cup of coffee I heard Dick's voice from the room down the hall, "I know that laugh!" Not a minute later, his footsteps pounded towards us and came to an abrupt halt just before he crashed into his former partner-tutoree. He spoke as he mustered a stern look on his face, "What the hell are you doing here? Shouldn't you be pulling a double or something?"
Trey had been smiling when Dick had first appeared but the happiness in his expression quickly faded to confusion.
Dick laughed before slapping the younger man on the back, "Just kidding, how've you've been?"
"Oh, fine. I figured that uh, maybe we could play catch up over breakfast. My treat."
Dick looked over at me, "Ooo, can I?"
I rolled my eyes, "As long as you're back by ten so we can get things started."
In the five minutes it took Dick to change, Trey and I shared light conversation. For the most part it was Trey asking about my father and what it was like growing up as his daughter. Just as the inevitable awkward silence fell between us, Dick reappeared, dressed in wrinkled jeans and blue polo shirt with the collar flipped up on the left side. I pointed at it and he fixed it as he walked over to me. After he pecked my cheek, he said, "I'll bring you back a frappucino."
"You better."
After a toasted bagel with cream cheese and a slice of tomato, I took a glass of green tea to Oracle's lair. Knowing Dick, I wouldn't see him until well after one in the afternoon. That was being optimistic. Even without him, I had quite a bit that could be accomplished. Reorganizing the hardware layout wouldn't be too hard and I could at least clean up the systems and check for any updates. Bruce had mentioned something about Tim working on one of the identification record programs used in keeping track of the various criminals Gotham housed and her guardians had to deal with. Hopefully, I could snag him later in the day to see if he had completed the changes.
Which would leave inching through dirty crawlspaces, checking for wire damage that would affect my countermeasures all for Dick, whence he returned.
I was halfway through air dusting my keyboards when the phone rang. I finished the one I had been working on before making my way to the living room. As I moved through the hall, I heard the shower running, Cass getting ready for her day. Just as I reached the end table that held the phone and answering machine I heard the latter click on.
Since Dick had moved in, I had told him he could redo the message on the machine to put his and my name on it. Since I was adamant about answering the phone, I had yet to hear it. I sat back and waited for it.
Loud rock music came from the speaker and then Dick's voice, "We will, we will, CALL YOU! We will, we will, CALL YOU!"
As my mind tried to comprehend what I had heard, the infamous tone sounded and was followed by Bruce's confused voice, "Hm… That's odd, I must have the wrong number. Sorry…"
I growled quietly to the empty room, "I will, I will… kill him…"
V
"Need a hand?"
Tim looked up as he zipped up a massive suitcase, "Hey, Cass," he paused as he hefted the case off of his bed and set it on the floor.
I smiled slightly before saying, "I didn't see your car downstairs."
He spoke while he double-checked the empty drawers of his desk and dresser, "Bruce let me borrow the Suburban. Figured I could fit this all in for one trip seeing how moving out of home is going to take quite a few…"
"Makes sense."
Since his room was on the second floor, it took a little effort carrying a year's worth of books, clothes, posters and computer paraphernalia. Considering how very little he actually stayed in the dorm room, it was funny to think he had so much… crap. I lived in my room year round and I didn't have half of things he did. And girls were supposed to be obsessed with material goods.
Surprisingly, we had everything packed within an hour and only had to wait another fifteen minutes to get his room cleared by a resident advisor. After a quick stop at the first gas station to fuel up for the day of moving and a round of root beers from the convenience store, we headed towards Bryanttown.
He had signed a two-year lease for a two-bedroom apartment on the tenth floor of the Racquel Building on Henry Avenue. It was centrally located west of Midtown and a good forty-minute drive from the residence he had called home for two decades. From what he had told me, his father wasn't too keen on the move. Then again, there wasn't much that his father was keen about anyway.
After parking in the private lot across from his building, we grabbed a few of the smaller items and made our way over. The lobby was empty and I took the chance to look around. It was floored with varnished hardwood with the lower part of the walls paneled in the same wood and the top half with a maroon wallpaper.
"Nice," I commented while looking around.
Tim fished for his keys as we approached the elevator, "Yeah. Ought to be for the rent…" After a brief ride up to his floor, we stepped off into a hallway that was nearly identical to the lobby. He led us to the second door on the left, labeled 10 B and then unlocked and opened it. "Home sweet home…" he muttered as we walked in.
The pictures he had shown me really hadn't done it justice. The entry room was broad, floored in hardwood and trimmed with bare white walls. Straight ahead was a spacious hallway that opened up into an empty living room. As I entered the room, I looked to the left to see a blue tiled kitchen and dining area. To the right was a short hall, lined with the two bedroom doors and what I assumed was the bathroom.
"Nice… Real nice," I continued while looking out the large windows of the living room.
He set his backpack down and approached me, "Yeah. Big step up from ye olde dorm room."
"You have furniture?" I motioned to the barren room.
Tim nodded, "My dad's bought me a living room set. And I'm taking everything from my bedroom at home… And I have my microwave and kitchen appliances from school… So I guess I'm pretty much set."
"Just have to move it all here."
He sighed, "Yeah. Easier said than done."
It took less than an hour to unload the car and to somewhat arrange his belongings in the apartment. From there we belted in once more for our first trip to Bristol. Apparently he had already rented a trailer in order to move the larger items leaving the back of the SUV for the perishable belongings. The drive up took a little over twenty minutes, the midday traffic practically nonexistent for a change. He opted for playing the radio louder than usual instead of talking. Whatever.
When we pulled up his drive, he finally spoke, "Hunh, Dad and Dana must be in town," while pointing out the open garage door. "Guess it's just you and me then."
"Oh… You think I'm helping?" He glanced over at me as he prepared to back up to the parked trailer. "That's funny. Because I don't remember you helping me with Barbara's apartment."
"What?"
I glared at him, the anger from having to rearrange all of Barbara's new furniture all by myself broadcasted clearly by my features.
"Oh, that was months ago… Come on… Are you serious?"
Although the terror in his eyes showed his fear of an afternoon of fruitless and lonely labor was amusing, I finally sighed, "No, I'm not serious. But you owe me dinner. Real food this time, not just pizza."
"You name it, you can eat it."
Tim had overstated how much he had ready to go. A lot. Practically nothing was packed aside from a bulging suitcase and an overflowing crate of CDs. When I walked into the room, I sighed, realizing that this project had suddenly a great deal bigger than either of us had expected.
Well, at least more than I had wanted it to be.
"You need to go on that show," I said as I began piling his blankets in the middle of his bed.
"What show?" he asked, starting to tackle the overflowing pile of papers on his desk.
"Clean Sweep. Make you take all of your stuff outside on the lawn into three piles. Keep, Toss and Sell. Then we could move only what you needed… Save time."
He set the papers back down, "Never heard of it… That's not that bad of an idea, though. Let's do it."
I glanced at him from over my shoulder, "I was kidding."
"I'm not, let's do it. I'll get the trash bags."
"Oh, boy," I muttered as he jogged out of the room.
Five hours later, the entire life collection of Timothy Drake was neatly organized in three massive piles on the front yard of the Drake Residence. The Toss pile was the most impressive by far comprised mostly of old, tattered clothes, ancient papers and faded magazines. We went through an entire box of garbage bags in just containing the mess. As I tied off the last bag, he approached me, "This will be one trip on its own just to drop it off at the dump…"
I nodded slowly before looking at my watch, "Hmm, doesn't it close at six?"
Tim glanced at his own watch, "Crap, quarter of. Okay, so that's for tomorrow," he looked over the other two piles, "I guess the Salvation Army donations can wait until tomorrow as well. Maybe we can at least get the furniture and boxes moved downtown before dusk."
"Furniture first?"
He nodded, "Might as well."
After loading the couch, sofa and two dressers, we filled the back of the SUV with a pair of end tables, a few lamps and couch cushions. As we prepared to get in the front seats, a dark sedan pulled up the drive and pulled up next to the driver's side. When the window rolled down, we both saw Jack Drake behind the wheel, "What's with everything being outside, Tim?"
He shrugged as he sat in the driver's seat and shut his door, "It's all mine… I'll take care of it by tomorrow," he leaned over and waved at Dana.
"Hi, Tim. Looks like the crew from Clean Sweep was here."
I smiled as he rolled his eyes and muttered quietly under his breath, "Chicks and their cleaning shows…"
V
As I stirred a spicy Marinara sauce, I heard a soft sound just outside the service entrance. Miss Mattie and Ms. Selina had been in the rear yard enjoying the spectacularly warm, sunny afternoon since a little before three. A look at the wall clock showed it to have been two hours since they had begun their outdoor activities. I readied two glasses of chilled pineapple juice in case they had returned, in need of hydration.
When I prepared to sauté the shrimp and scallops I heard a different sound. A slight rapping on the glass window of the door.
Very few people used the service entrance, and those who did surely had no reason to knock. I wiped my hands and turned down the heat on the stove before investigating. The second I spotted the visitor's dark blue suit, red tie and wire rimmed glasses, I offered a pleased smile before opening the door, "Mr. Kent."
"Hello, Alfred. I hope I wasn't interrupting anything."
I stepped back and allowed him to enter, "Not at all, sir, I was just preparing dinner."
When I closed the door he sniffed the air, "Mmm, spicy seafood sauté."
"Indeed," I commented while leading the way to the kitchen, "Were you expected sir? Because I'm afraid Master Bruce has yet to return from Midtown."
He shook his head and paused at the doorway while I continued back to my post at the stove "No, actually, I was in the neighborhood. Figured it couldn't hurt to drop in, see how everyone was."
"Ah. Ms. Kyle and Miss Mattie were recreating in the yard, I believe."
Mr. Kent nodded, "Yeah, I saw them. Didn't want to intrude though."
"Think nothing of it, sir. I'm sure Miss Mattie would adore seeing you."
A spotted a soft smile growing across his lips, "Good point. I guess I will go see them," he looked to the door that lead to the hall and then stepped towards it.
Just before he passed through, "Will you be staying for dinner, sir?"
"No, thank you, but Lois and I have plans this evening."
"Very well sir, when Master Bruce arrives I will send him your way."
He paused, nodded and then passed through the door.
Not ten minutes later, the marinara sauce was simmering, the linguini pot was bubbling and the shrimp and scallops were sizzling. As I chopped lettuce for Caesar salad, I heard another sound from the service entrance. First the idling of a car and then a familiar set of footsteps as they approached the door and then passed through it.
Before he entered the kitchen, I called out, "Good evening, Master Bruce."
When he appeared, he looked just as he had when he had left at eight that morning, although slightly more worn. Investors from Australia that were supposed to have arrived on Wednesday were delayed until Friday, which unfortunately required Master Bruce to go into work on a Saturday. For most CEO's the touring, lunching and chatting would be an easy day but for Master Bruce it took quite a toll on him. Before he could ask for something to drink, I offered him one of the prepared glasses of juice and he thanked me while taking it.
Master Bruce set his briefcase on the floor and sipped slowly from the glass. After another two sips, the glass was nearly empty and he set it in the sink.
"Where's Selina and Mattie?"
I informed him of their location and continued, "As well as a guest, sir."
His brow rose slightly as he lifted his briefcase, silently asking, Who? When I told him he closed his eyes and sighed softly, "Ah."
I waited to hear his footsteps to make their way towards the door leading to the hall. When my ears were met with nothing but silence, I looked up from the cutting board to see him still leaning against the countertop. I set the knife down and wiped my hands free of lettuce scraps, "Is there something amiss, sir?"
He shook his head slowly before answering, "No… I was just… thinking. Tim moving into that place in Bryanttown… That satellite cave we never finished isn't too far from his apartment." While I waited for him to continue, I peeled an onion and proceeded to dice it. Master Bruce stood and looked towards the hall, "I think we should finish it."
"Excellent idea, sir," I commented softly.
He took three steps towards the door, paused as if he were going to speak, but then continued into the hallway.
With the salad complete, I checked each saucepan on the stovetop before going about setting the table. For three. The earliest dinners I had set had been for three. And then for one…
At half past six, the table was placed and the meal was set out. I had yet to hear or see the return of a single member of the family and decided to set out to the rear yard. Bypassing the library, drawing room and rarely used ballroom, I made my way to the glass doors that lead to the stone patio. As I opened and walked through them I spotted Miss Mattie and Ms. Selina sitting in the lawn beneath a large, shady oak tree talking softly.
Without announcing my presence, the young girl looked up and smiled at me, "Alfred, we found a ladybug!"
"Splendid, Miss Mattie," I commented as I approached them.
She stood and started skipping in my direction, her tiny hands cupped together as a temporary container for her six-legged friend. When she paused in front of me, I peered down at her hands as she opened them slightly. And there indeed was a tiny ladybug. "Mom says I have to let it go… Says Taffy or Isis might eat it."
"Speaking of eating…" Ms. Selina said as she stood and walked towards us.
"Quite true, madam, dinner is ready and waiting. May inquire as to where Master Bruce and his guest are?"
"Dad and Uncle Clark went for a walk," Miss Mattie said as she crouched next to a hedge. We watched as she carefully set the tiny insect on a broad leaf. "There, now it can have dinner too."
When she stood and returned to her mother's side, she looked up and asked if she could go find her father. Ms. Selina answered in the negative, "No, hon, Dad will be back in a little bit. Why don't we get washed up, okay?"
Although she offered a purposeful pout, the girl obeyed and followed her mother through doors from which I had just come. As I looked across the property, hoping to catch a glimpse of the missing men, I heard Selina ask, "Alfred, why don't you join us for dinner," and then a soft whisper meant to evade her daughter's ears, "I don't think they're going to be back anytime soon."
I turned to face her, "Oh, Ms. Selina, I couldn't…"
She shook head, "Nonsense. Come on, I'll even help you with the dishes."
I offered a slight smile, "How could I possibly refuse such a delightful offer?"
V
"Mattie said she's done with school," I said, hoping to sound as amiable as possible. Although I had known Bruce for years and considered him to be a friend of sorts, it was always a challenge to start things off. Especially when I arrived, uninvited in his city let alone at his home.
I had been talking with Selina and Mattie when he had arrived. The look on his face when he had passed through the glass doors had at first been content and relieved. Then he noticed his wife and daughter were not alone and his expression altered slightly not with surprise but with slight upset. I watched on as he greeted his daughter with a hug and kissed his wife on the cheek, still doing his best to hide the surprise of my being there. Before I could tell him why I had dropped by, he suggested we go for a walk.
And we did.
It never ceased to amaze me just how vast Wayne Manor and its grounds were. Instead of there being designated trails in the woods that surrounded the house, Bruce lead us down narrow paths that even I could barely recognize as being orderly. I could just picture him running down the trails, knowing where every root was. After ten minutes of silence I had opened my mouth, hoping that talking about his daughter would be safe ground to start on.
He nodded slightly and continued walking beside me.
"Listen, Bruce, I just wanted to drop in… Haven't seen you since Mattie's birthday party…" I tried a quick smile but he didn't seem to notice, "Can't believe how much she's grown, even since then."
I noticed the corner of his mouth twitch. Paternal pride barely contained.
"How's Lois?" he asked suddenly.
I paused, "Good, great. We're going out to dinner tonight in Metropolis. Anniversary of the first time she called me 'Smallville' I think."
He nodded again and picked up the pace.
And then I heard it. At first I thought it had been him stepping on a branch or crunching the pine needles with his footfalls. But it was too consistent. As we continued in silence, I listened carefully as he walked. Every step he took, it sounded… A soft pop.
"Saw that missing person's case was wrapped up. Congratulations."
He looked over at me briefly, "Wasn't my case. Robin and Batgirl handled it"
"Ah, well give them my best. Seemed like it was going to last forever." Another curt nod. My welcome was already overstayed and I hadn't been there for more than fifteen minutes. "Well, I might as well get going---."
"Wait, Clark…"
I looked over at him. Bruce had taken a few steps more from where I had paused, but kept his back to me. I didn't know whether I should walk towards him or let him turn to face me.
Before I could make a choice either way, Bruce spoke again, "I didn't mean to put you off… I'm glad you dropped by. I've been meaning to… talk to you about some things…"
"Oh?"
It seemed like an eternity before he spoke, his eyes looking into the woods, "When I took reserve status… I told you it was because I was too busy with my own city to be involved with the problems the League dealt with. At the time, I had convinced myself that it was true, that the crime levels in Gotham were keeping me busy enough. With Dick in Bludhaven, Tim in school and last year, having Cassandra training abroad… It only proved my theory to be true. Gotham was enough."
"I could see why," I commented quietly.
He let out a breath out slowly, "It never was before though. Twenty years ago, ten years ago it was never a problem…" he ran a hand through his hair, the simple action revealing graying roots that I hadn't noticed before. Or that I had chosen not to notice.
Bruce continued, "But with me being shot, and Selina and then Mattie… Everything changed… And I'm not sure it was for the best or the worst."
There was a long silence, "Bruce, I… don't know what to say."
He finally turned to face me, "Either do I," Bruce paused, "Which is probably why I've been avoiding this conversation."
"I don't want to sound hokey, but my mother always told me that life is nothing but change. Without it, there is nothing to live for."
Bruce took a long time to respond, "You're right."
"I am?"
"You do sound hokey."
"Oh," I replied. Bruce never joked. At least not that I knew of. Then again there was still so much I didn't know about him and probably never would.
He glanced at his watch, one that would run for one month of my salary, "What time was your dinner with Lois?"
"Eight."
"Almost seven now," he commented, "I'm probably late for my own dinner."
I glanced towards the Manor, peering through the trees and the distance, "Yep, they're onto dessert. Peach cobbler."
He smirked and laughed quietly, "Mattie's favorite."
Without another word, we began retracing our steps, making our way out of the woods and towards the manicured lawn that I had the privilege of watching my friend's daughter play without a care in the world. As we neared the clearing, I spoke up, "If I had to say, Bruce, I think it was for the best. What you've gained has far outweighed what you've lost." I placed a hand on his shoulder, "If you ever need me, ever need help..."
He called me a boy scout under his breath and told me to go home to my wife. I smiled at him before taking flight. Perhaps he had thought I wouldn't pay attention or that I would be too occupied to hear him add, "And you're right. It was for the best."
Then I laughed because of course he would know that I would be paying attention and that I wouldn't be too occupied to hear him.
V
"What is it, redecorating day?" Barbara asked over the comm. link.
I paused before asking her to clarify.
After finishing patrols around three, I had spent the last hour working on the satellite Batcave in Bryanttown, taking an inventory of the equipment and supplies that I had left there temporarily after No Man's Land had ended. I had never had the time or the need to finish it, but having Tim moving to the area had provided the need so I had made the time.
"Well, I revamped my lair today, no thanks to Dick, Tim moved out of his dorm and his house and now I find you in this mini-Cave playing housekeeper."
"Not cleaning, taking inventory."
"Tomato, tomahto," she replied, "So seriously, are you actually going to finally finish this bungalow?"
I replied as I began shutting off the generators that supplied the computer bay and lights in the room, "Not tonight."
She paused, "Then may I inquire as to why instead of going home to sleep you are clea… taking inventory?"
"It needs to be done."
"Ah. And it obviously needs to be done at four in the morning."
I paused, "When else?"
She sighed, "Forget that I asked. Besides, you are no longer my favorite superhero. Clark dropped by on his way home, brought me a cherry cheesecake from that bakery on 17th."
As I locked up and made my way into the alley outside of the satellite's enclosed entrance, "I'll buy you the bakery on 17th then."
I listened as she laughed to herself, "I suppose I can be persuaded to worship you again. I take it he stopped in to see you as well?"
After calling on the Mobile, which was parked three blocks away, I answered, "Yes."
"Care to elaborate?"
"No."
There was a brief silence before she spoke again, "Ah, we're playing the monosyllable game. My favorite."
The second the car rolled up I opened the door and settled into the driver's seat. I switched to the video LCD display and found Barbara smiling on the other end of the line, "Heading home?"
"I suppose."
"Aren't you in a good mood, I take it Clark didn't bring you any baked goods." I scowled in response and she grinned. "Oh, Dick wanted to apologize for not… how did he put it… 'banging up the baddies' tonight. His partner from the Haven came over this morning, they went out to breakfast, stayed out until lunch and then Trey conned him into going back to BPD headquarters to see the guys."
"Good."
"I thought so too," she said while pulling a strand of bangs behind her left ear, "Got me wondering if he'll ever go back to that life. I know he said he didn't want to but… Seeing him with Trey this morning, just for a minute… I think he misses it."
"Has he mentioned any other plans?"
"As in a career? Actually, he was thinking about a private business, home and business security designs or something. Figured it wouldn't be a problem to start it up, especially here in Gotham."
"So he's staying in Gotham?"
She shrugged, "Indefinitely, I don't know… You know Dick, he likes to spread his wings."
That he did. I spotted the sign for the Bristol exit and sped over to the right hand lane.
"Speaking of Dick, did he… change your answering machine message?"
She sighed in response, "Yes. Yes he did. And yes it's already been changed to a less college frat house-esque message." She paused and then asked, "Did you check out Tim's place yet?"
I nodded, "Externally. Seems like a secure enough building."
"I went over a little after seven, brought over dinner for Tim and Cass. They had moved everything in but didn't look ambitious enough to unpack yet. Surprised to see them even be able to eat let alone suit up for patrols."
"Should have hired movers."
"Should have, could have, would have. I guess they thought it was going to be easier than it was. Then again, sometimes you have to learn the hard way."
When I was ten minutes from home, I asked Barbara to prepare upgrades for the computer system in the satellite cave and to collect a set of hardware and software for me to take down the next night. She said she had most of the next day free and would be able to get everything ready without a problem. I then wished her a good night before signing off.
Logging patrol activities took longer than I had expected and I didn't finish until half past five. Skipping the shower, I changed into boxers and donned a housecoat before going upstairs. When I made it to the third floor, I paused at Mattie's half-opened door and peered inside. She was curled up on her side, her slender arm wrapped loosely around Taffy's furry form. I was tempted to pull her blankets up, but feared waking her. Instead, I closed her door and walked down the hall to my own room.
Selina was sleeping in a position similar to her daughter, although her arm was wrapped around Isis. Before getting into bed, I went to the bathroom, and washed my face and hands before popping back two aspirin tablets. The blackout drapes had already been pulled and I approached the bed from my side and slowly slipped under the covers. Selina remained motionless but Isis yawned as she rolled onto her back, stretching out beside her owner. I gently scratched the black cat's soft belly and listened as a rough purr started. Over the years I had slowly built a rapport with the cat, at least enough so that I could pet her and pick her up without worrying about claws and fangs.
I gently lifted the sleepy feline and set her on the other side of Selina, making sure she wasn't too close to the edge of the bed. Cats landed on their feet, but when they were half-asleep there was no telling which part would land first.
As I settled on my side, I froze as Selina yawned and murmured in her slumber. Waking her this early in the morning would not be a wise move. I had learned that much in our time together. She must have sensed that Isis had been moved because her arm moved slightly, as if searching for the creature it had been cradling. I reached out and guided her hand to my side before placing my own arm around her waist, pulling her closer to me. She shifted her head on the pillow and moved to settle it closer to mine.
When sleep prepared to take me, I felt a cold nose and whiskers tickle the bottom of my feet. Isis had been unimpressed by her relocation and was making her way up the bed by sneaking under the covers. I moved slightly and felt as the cat's tail twitch back and forth with each stride. Not a minute later, she was nested between us, purring as contently as she had been when I had rubbed her belly.
Her forepaw rested itself against my navel and I smirked, "Truce."
V
First and foremost, I was wearing the gaudiest fake leopard hat and coat I had ever seen in my life. Secondly, I was making my way through the rowdiest bar I had ever seen in my life, Ye Olde Benbow Tavern, walking towards a small flight of stairs. At the top, I paused before a man who looked like an extra from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride in Disney World. He saluted me and said, "Ahoy, Catwoman."
I promptly smacked him and hissed, "Imbecile, how many times I have told you to never use my real name in public!" I then thought… But that's not my real name? Stomping passed him, I went to open the door behind him and paused to read a small orange sign: UU Headquarters VERY PRIVATE! It took a second to figure out the acronym: United Underworld Headquarters. I continued on and walked into a room, stale with sea air and cigarette smoke.
Shabby furniture was only insulted further by shabbier occupants. Small clusters of outlandishly garbed individuals argued and quarreled over who was the best criminal and who had been the closest to killing Batman. I noted the Riddler, Penguin and the Joker fighting in one corner while Egghead and King Tut shouted in another. As I turned to look behind me, I spotted Mr. Freeze himself, sitting next to an air conditioning unit that had frosted over. And where there wasn't a villain, there was a villain thug. Dressed in solid uniforms with their names printed over their pectorals. With the exception to the poor souls who worked for Tut, they wore second-rate Egyptian rental costumes.
The next thing I realized was that the room itself was nearly as crooked as the crooks that stood around me. Despite my confusion, I smirked, They're not on the level…
My presence still unnoticed in the heated debates, I looked across the room towards a large window where a row of bookshelves rested, overflowing with books, fish tanks and boxes. There were even labels designating sections to each criminal. Riddles: PRIVATE, Jokes: PRIVATE, Penguin Food: PRIVATE… Obviously the best place to keep private materials was on a bookshelf, right out in the open.
On the adjacent wall was a massive poster depicting a cartoon octopus engulfing the world. In bold print, it read: Today Gotham City, Tomorrow the World.
Right…
Just as I was about to announce my arrival, Riddler shoved the Penguin into the bookshelf I had just been studying, causing a flowerpot on the top shelf to fall directly onto the unsuspecting King Tut. I watched as he stumbled, blinked and then looked about the room, "What is this… I, I'm late for my Egyptology 101 class… My students…"
That was it.
"Enough, already!" I snapped.
"Hoo hoo hoo, Catwoman," the Joker sneered, "You're here just in time…"
I took my coat and hat off, revealing a black, shimmering suit with long black gloves that ended with gold claws and a headband with cat ears. A bit much, but it was better than the fake fur. "How so?"
Riddler had also taking to giggling as he turned on a security monitor to reveal a black and white image of the Batmobile parked on the pier, Batman and Robin… the original, pixie boot sporting Dick Grayson Robin, already getting out. It was an older model, one that was kept in storage, one that could barely hit sixty-five miles per an hour. Instead of concealing it in an alleyway, they had parked in front of a meter. Batman stopped pulled two quarters out of his utility belt and dropped them into the meter.
To make it worse, there was sound.
Batman's voice then came from the tiny monitor, "It's always important to honor parking meters, Robin. Albeit a mere two quarters, the city uses each and every one to help build better roads... pay police officers' salaries... improve the infrastructure. It's all part of good citizenship, chum."
The Boy Hostage replied, "Holy taxation. You're right, again, Batman."
Penguin then returned to the group, "When they come in here, quack quack, all they'll have to do is step onto the disclosed launch pad and then, they'll be airborne, out that window, quack quack, and will land into the welcoming arms of my exploding octopus!"
"An exploding what?" I glared, the animal welfarist in me growing angry.
"An exploding octopussy!" Joker screamed as he danced about the room.
I was about to say that this was insane, but then realized it would be as useful as counting grains of sand at the beach. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I heard the baritone-accented voice of Freeze.
Singing.
"I'm Mr. Vite Christmas, I'm Mr. Snow…"
"Kill me now," I muttered.
Penguin, Riddler and Joker had been adamantly watching their security monitor as it switched views, tracking the dynamic duo as they ran, in a rather girly fashion, in our direction. It wouldn't be long before they would crash through the door, have an excessively long and drawn out fight with the thugs before knocking everyone out and saving the day, as usual.
I decided to find a seat and to just enjoy watching everything fall apart.
Just before Batman and Robin crashed through the door, Penguin snapped at his men, "Ahoy, be ready to take out the caped crusaders!"
"Yo ho ho, sir!" they shouted in unison as they stood and faced the door just as it flung open.
The fight was indeed excessive, with too much energy being wasted on teamwork and sucker punches. I watched the clock on the wall and noted that it took two minutes on average for Batman to knock out a thug and only seconds more for the Boy Wonder to do the same. At one point, Robin was flung into the bookcase and a bookend slid off, conking poor Tut in the head. He did the stumble and blinking bit again and then shouted out, "All hail King Tut!"
Egg-Head laughed, with himself because no one ever really liked him anyway, "How Eggs-ellent!"
And then Freeze calling out, "Baht-man isn't going to put ME in dah coo-lah!" He took two steps away from the AC unit before passing out.
Oh, brother.
Tired, I stood and growled, "Enough! I'll show you how to stop Batman!"
The room silenced as I walked over to the surprisingly unscathed Batman. His eyes widened, and I wasn't sure if it had been from shock or admiration. Or both.
"Catwoman, I would have never expected you to take up arms with these… cowardly criminals. I'll do everything in my power to reform you."
I traced the bat-emblem on his chest and purred, "Marry me."
"… Anything but that. A wife... no matter how loving... and... supportive... would be a serious impediment in a crime fighter's career," he stammered.
Words weren't working with him. I went for action. As I tried to kiss him, he pulled away.
"Catwoman, kissing can be... an extremely unsanitary exercise... where bacteria can be easily transmitted. Proper hygiene... is one of the things I'm teaching Robin about..."
The Boy Blunder butted in, punching a clenched fist into his other hand, "Your feminine seduction won't work on us, Catwoman!"
Not even going there…
I leaned my body against Batman and whispered into his ear, "Shhh. Think about it... coming home to your Batcave... Having someone to curl up with…"
"But...What about... Robin?"
"ROBIN!"
I snapped before shoving him away from me
in utter disbelief. I could handle
being as a lone criminal in the midst of working with all the insane
rogues of the city. I could deal with
the fact that the slanted room was an inside joke that apparently I
was the only one who got. And Batman being so rigid and unyielding
that I want to check his pulse, okay. But him choosing Robin instead
of me!
Before I could claw his eyes out, I
realized the room was fading from the dank shabbiness and bright
colors to the dark, familiar surroundings of my bedroom. I sat up
and looked over to see Bruce sleeping
peacefully beside me.
Dream
or no dream, I grabbed my pillow and whacked him with it.
V
Who goes to the Outer Banks for a week and writes three chapters of fic, honestly….
