She dreams sometimes.
Midnight dances in darkened halls, moonlight streaming through tall windows. Nameless, shapeless bodies twirling around her in dizzying patterns, flashing in and out of her periphery. Another person is there, spinning with her. A swirl of red velvet and black silk and the face constantly changes but the ivory locks framing it do not. Slender fingers in her hand, so much warmth compared to the bleak landscape, concentrated in her palm.
She wakes clutching the sheets tightly and reminds herself that she always wants what she can never have.
"What do you think; blue or grey?" Hannah asks a few days later, standing in front of her mirror in boxers and a tank top, alternating between gowns.
"The grey would make you look like death warmed over," Blaise responds without looking up. She continues to thumb through the latest issue of Circle Twilight's newsletter open on the bed in front of her.
"But the blue isn't too Cinderella-ish?"
"Darling, all of it is Cinderella-ish." And her tone is bored, dry like the desert sand outside.
They are going through an old wardrobe that Lupe found for Hannah in the attic. The gowns in it are musty and covered in lace like a thousand cobwebs and Hannah fell in love the minute the lid was opened. Faded blues and pinks and greys, fabrics and cuts from decades long since past. Blaise is serving as an advisor, because it would not do for the Lady Hannah to show up in her own sense of fashion. Blaise shudders at the thought and gives Hannah her full attention.
"I suppose if we find you the right mask, maybe add a wig and some long gloves..."
"I'm trying to convince Thierry to go as the Scarlet Pimpernel..."
"Then you'd make an excellent Margeurite, my dear."
"You really think so?" Hannah is beaming.
"No, I was just saying that for the hell of it. Go with the blue."
Hannah is happily silent then, holding the dress against her slim frame. Blaise returns her attention to the newsletter, fashion crisis averted.
"So now you've met the Witch Child..." Hannah introduces a little too casually after a few twirls.
Blaise cocks an eyebrow without looking up, curiosity roused. "Yes, and she's as vapid as I expected."
"She's pretty wise, if you give her a chance."
"She's seventeen and interested only in teenager things. Hardly confidence- inspiring."
"Well, she did step up when we needed her. She didn't have to accept her duties as Witch Child..."
"No. She could have gone shopping. Oh wait, that's what she does now..."
"Blaise." Hannah's tone is reaching exasperated, so Blaise shrugs and backs off. She knows how to pick her battles, and arguing over that flibberty-jibbet isn't the way she wants to spend her afternoon.
Instead, she reclines on the bed and gives Hannah her best disarming look, honest and friendly and skeptical. "I sense an underlying issue here, darling..."
"Well, I—"Hannah breaks off, annoyance forgotten as a wistful shadow crosses her face. "I was just hoping that you'd think again about joining Circle Daybreak, now that you've met her."
If Hannah knows what that expression on her does to Blaise, she is more diabolical than the witch had previously credited her.
"Hannah..." There is a slight warning in her tone, not enough to offend or frighten, but an encouragement to change the subject.
"I know, I know. I just think you might find it... helpful." The blonde shifts uncomfortably, turning her attention to repacking the wardrobe. Blaise sits perfectly still for a moment, trying not to grind her teeth.
"And just how, exactly, will joining Circle Daybreak benefit me?" Her voice is even, steady, like she doesn't already know what answer she will get. Hannah's packing falters.
"Well, with Circle Twilight standing as it is, I thought you'd like to have a coven again. And you haven't seen Thea in forever, even though she asks about you every time she stops in, and if you joined, there are a ton of witches that would be willing to work with you..."
The sadness in her statement softens the blow, but it still hurts Blaise to hear the truth. She has drifted from her old coven, and she hasn't really been able to face Thea since the High Lady's funeral.
Her sister witches had slowly slipped away during her stay on the east coast. It was to be expected, but when Blaise returned the west, they were waiting with open arms. Standing right next to the werewolves and upper echelon of the vampires.
It had been pure coincidence that Blaise was visiting the High Lady when the werewolves attacked. Just chance. But it made her position in this debacle painfully clear.
So now Blaise runs her store-- her grandmother's musty old store-- and ignores the invitations from old acquaintances. It has not garnered her any popularity in certain social sets. In fact, she is steadily being grouped with Circle Daybreak the more she visits the mansion.
But a witch without a coven—worse, a pureblooded witch without a coven—is a pitiable sight, indeed. She will not give them the satisfaction of officially severing ties. She isn't that pathetic.
"Technically, I'm still a member of Circle Twilight," she finds her voice to remind Hannah tartly.
"Yes, I know," Hannah whispers, then stands up straight with a smile. "Well, I don't know about you, but today is just too beautiful to stay inside. Want to go shoe shopping, now that I have my dress?"
"Sounds feasible," Blaise agrees easily, turning on her public face. Hannah dims a little when she sees it, but musters herself quickly and offers Blaise a hand up off the bed. Blaise ignores the warmth in her palm and focuses on smoothing her skirts. They leave the bedroom, Blaise trailing behind Hannah as they descend the main staircase. Lupe is at the last step, waiting.
"Will you be needing the car, my Lady?"
"Actually, Lupe, if you could get Nilsson, that would be great. Thank you."
She can't help her silence as they retrieve their purses from the butler. The pleasant expression is plastered firmly on her face, but something in her is cracking, slowly oozing out.
A vehicle that is not Thierry's limo pulls up as they linger in the foyer. Blaise recognizes the shock of red hair through the picture window of the door and grinds her teeth. A glance at the mirror mounted on the wall and her face relaxes back into its agreeable mask. Anger gives one's opponent the advantage, never mind that she is angriest at herself.
Iliana bursts through the front door, bringing in the warm summer breeze and the smell of cucumber-melon lotion. Blaise hangs back as Hannah greets the girl enthusiastically, trying to ignore the twinge in her heart at hearing the relief in Hannah's voice.
"You're lucky you just caught us! We were about to go shopping and grab some lunch. Feel like coming?"
The answering smile shimmers and Blaise feels like she's been staring at the sun. "Sure! Winnie needs to talk to Lupe about the party, but Keller can guard me. Like, you would not believe how she tore into me yesterday about wandering off—"
Blaise tunes out the conversation, not really up to playing nice. When the other two start walking towards the door, she follows, slipping her sunglasses firmly into place. She wants to berate herself for this moment of weakness, wants to think it's just a moment and not longer, and Hannah's words bounce around inside her head like gnats over a corpse.
Bad image, that.
When she quietly slips into the back of the limo, she's aware of Iliana's curious gaze as the girl continues talking without pausing for breath. Keller slithers in behind the Witch Child, and Blaise knows she's being glared at from behind the dark glasses of the bodyguard. Normally she would offer a comment on the werepanther's attire, maybe leave a parting shot for Winnie. Instead, she looks out the tinted window and sits primly with her purse clutched in her lap.
They're halfway to the mall before Iliana addresses her.
"So what are you going as, Blaise?"
A haughty eyebrow is raised as she languidly turns her head in the Witch Child's direction. "Aphrodite, I think. I haven't really decided yet."
"Cool." Iliana returns to kicking around her own ideas, with Hannah's gentle suggestions. Blaise does not notice her skinny girl-knees beneath her shorts.
The mall is crowded when they arrive. Lupe and Keller are on edge, dogging their steps and Blaise likes the thought that she can slip away while Hannah and Iliana can't. Then she wonders at her own anonymity.
"We were thinking of smoothies?"
Iliana is at her elbow, smiling. Blaise glances around and realizes Hannah has wandered into a shoe store with Lupe, while Keller is glowering over Iliana's shoulder.
"I thought we were getting shoes?" Blaise asks with a pleasant smile.
"Oh, we already picked them out. Hannah asked you what you thought, remember? You said they looked great." Iliana's eyes are a little too familiar for Blaise's comfort, like the girl can see inside her head.
"Of course." Blaise is too disconcerted to cover her slip better. Her family does have a history of insanity. "Smoothies sound great."
"Cool. Hannah said she'd meet us down in the food court."
Presumptuous, and Blaise almost likes her because it's something Blaise would do. Then they start walking, and the girl keeps talking, and Blaise wishes she wouldn't.
"So you were a member of Circle Twilight?" She smiles a cotton-pink smile at Blaise and the dark witch arches an eyebrow. The girl was either gutsy or brainless to say that out loud in a human mall.
"I still am."
"Cool." The rebuff slides off Iliana like water, and Blaise is beginning to think her innocent façade is more calculated than she originally perceived. "I'm still learning about all the rules and everything, and Winnie just kinda coughs and changes the subject when I ask her about any thing other than Circle Daybreak."
"With good reason," Keller interjects with a disapproving frown. That's enough to have Blaise answering Iliana's questions for the next fifteen minutes, whispering in the smoothie line and then at a table in the noisy food court. Keller glowers, but doesn't try to stop them, and Blaise is almost disappointed.
Hannah joins them with more than just one pair of shoes, and for a second Blaise thinks Iliana was a diversion so that Lady Hannah could employ her own questionable tastes. The thought's dismissed as too much trouble for footwear, and besides, Iliana does seem genuinely interested in what she has to say.
With their arrival, though, the table is crowded and Blaise finds herself pressed against Iliana's side. Every time the girl waves her hand, she elbows Blaise in a delicate area, and really, this is getting ridiculous. Hannah is smiling happily at them, Keller and Lupe are glowering like she just kicked a puppy, and now that the conversation is on a more inane topic, ie: nail polish colors, Blaise just wants to go home.
This really isn't like her. She used to be a social butterfly, the girl everyone else wants to be, but since returning to the west coast, she's been different. She's never been fond of change she isn't controlling, and as the unsettled feelings spread through her limbs, the smoothie she was just distractedly sipping sours in her stomach.
The feeling of displacement has become more frequent these days. Like she's done this before, been here before, opened this door or sat at that table, and she's just now remembering. Sometimes she stares at her hands and wonders if they're actually hers.
Hannah's voice recalls her attention to the table, and now everyone is staring at her again.
"Excuse me?" Blaise asks vaguely, hoping someone will prompt her.
Instead, Hannah frowns. "Are you all right? You don't seem like yourself..."
And wasn't that just the problem? But Hannah has just handed her an out and she seizes it gratefully.
"Actually, I'm feeling a bit run down. Nothing a long nap won't cure, I'm sure." She smiles and continues before her concerned friend can suggest anything. "I think I might just call a cab and head home, since you have your shoes now, dear."
Hannah looks like she wants to protest, but she might be feeling guilty because all she does is nod and stand up. "We'll walk you to the entrance."
Blaise smiles and grits her teeth, and puts up with the company a little longer. Iliana is subdued now, her brightness fading as she lays her hand on Blaise's arm uninvited.
"Maybe we should drive you, if you're not feeling well?"
So solicitous and Blaise waves her away gently. "I'll be fine. I just need to watch my vitamin levels better, that's all."
They don't look convinced, but they let her go anyway. Sitting in the cab, she leans back with a tired sigh.
