UNREQUITED LOVE...
A strange something shot me like a missile of arrows…
Something went right through me before I even knew it.
This bizarre feeling that made my heart thud like damned hell.
It was strange because this thing happened as soon I grasped a closer look at Hilary's appearance, eyes a little harder.
And then—
SMACK!
Just like a hand slapping on my cheeks a second time.
This time, the hand was of invisible and unseen.
Which made it hard to dodge away.
A thud of feelings was arousing through my very insides.
And it scared me a little.
What is this I'm feeling?
Are these suppose to be good feelings or not?
I sure don't feel good or awful.
Probably not yet.
'Cause right when I saw Hilary's eyes, I stopped dead to my thoughts and thought to look closer at them.
They were jewel ruby, yes.
And also shimmering like a mirror that I thought I could almost see myself.
Something Hilary's trying to tell me.
But what is it though?
Did she just show up here to hand my jacket back?
Or is it something… more?
When I saw how her eyes tossed in light specks, my heart just—just!—started beating faster.
I mean, what was going on?
Why do I suddenly feel queasy to my stomach yet I don't feel the pain?
Why do I feel lightheaded and dizzy yet I wasn't twirled around like some immature beyblade.
And why can't I get my eyes off Hilary?
And why can't she look away?
Baffled, I felt my face changed into startle and I suddenly snapped out of it.
Like I was in a complete trance, I blinked a couple of times and frowned a little.
"Tyson?" a voice came into my breath of life.
I almost jumped in surprise.
What was happening to me?
Why am I so jumpy all of a sudden?
I turned to look at Hilary.
"Yeah," I replied. "What?"
I saw a tint of redness on her cheeks and I became a bit curious.
She seemed as nervous as she had been.
But…
I quickly studied her new features.
Was that Hilary?
Was that her voice that did something to my heart?
What did she do?
What had she done to me?
I stopped.
Something is wrong with her.
Then again…
Something's wrong with me.
Am I looking at her with new aspect or is this just me?
Suddenly… I don't know anymore.
I just don't know anymore.
I don't know what's happening to me.
I don't know what the hell's wrong with me.
I don't know why the hell I'm so jumpy.
And, most of all, I don't know why every time I look at Hilary I feel something.
What had she done to me?
"Tyson?"
I look up and saw the girl, a face of confusion in her expression.
"What?" I asked calmly.
Hilary put her hands behind her and smiled.
"Do you wanna go see Rei and Max?" she asked. "I bet they're wondering why you aren't training with them."
She was right.
How long had we been in here doing pointless things?
How long had we been talking like real people?
I nodded and stood up.
Hilary followed me behind as I entered the dojo and exited on the other side.
Rei and Max were busy beyblading to see us enter behind them.
When Rei asked me if I wanted to play against him, I said no.
Somehow I couldn't find the time to practice when there's something that's bugging me.
Something I can't quite figure out.
Something quite not right about me.
Something that's having a hard time getting out of me.
But I'm Tyson, and I shouldn't be feeling these things.
With years of experiences with beyblade, somehow something's telling me that this is something I have never even bothered to notice.
With years of beyblading experiences, I realized that I've never experienced this before.
Strange, huh?
Is this what I really think the most?
Beyblade?
I'm sure something's telling me that I should know this new sensual…
But I know now that I won't let it out.
If I do, something unthinkable would happen.
And I wouldn't want to end up getting hurt.
Or getting anyone hurt.
Especially Hilary.
Laughs
That's strange.
Why would I be so worried about Hilary getting hurt now?
Why am I afraid to have her wounded not just physically?
But emotionally, too?
Why is there a skip in the beats of my heart when I think about Hilary getting injured?
And what kind of an injury am I really thinking about?
I mean, I shouldn't care.
I should never care about Hilary.
I shouldn't even be near her too much.
I shouldn't get carried away with what my inside wants to feel.
No matter what, I mustn't let Hilary inside me.
Or closer than we are as friends.
No, I can't.
I shouldn't.
I wouldn't…
But when I looked at Hilary watching Rei and Max beybattle, I realize how much it means for her to have us around.
The way she cheered us on at tournaments and championships.
The way she cheered me on when I was about to lose at that one particular battle where the Unrequited became alive.
Unrequited.
Where the Unrequited began…
The spark in her eyes, the energy she pours out inside her.
Told me that she really wants us to win.
Wants me to win.
And that's where I became confused.
That certain beybattle had her shook up a bit.
Even me.
I mean, how was I to know that I was just gonna go towards her and hug her?
I was too happy that I won.
This guy ain't like anyone else I've battled.
Not even like Tala or Zeo.
He was somewhat powerful.
Powerful, yet he lost.
I did thanked Hilary.
Or I was supposed to thank her.
But what she did to me gave me an inconceivable thought that I shouldn't have done what I did.
It was only a hug, right?
So why was she so worked up about it?
Did she need to act so uptight about it?
When she just turned and left, I was surprised, offended.
But there was something inside me that hurt a bit.
But seeing as how I always am, I didn't care.
I'm great at scoffing.
And the only way I can hide things inside me is by sarcasm.
And it helped me get rid of these stupid emotions I have.
But there would be a time where it would come back.
A time where it would haunt me, tell me that I shouldn't have thrown it away heedlessly.
And it did.
It did came back…
I decided to work my thoughts out when I settled to play against Rei.
I didn't want anyone to worry about me.
I don't want anyone to know what I'm feeling right now.
So I hid them once more within my sarcasm.
We lounge our beyblades out of our shooter and began to compete.
"Go Dragoon and Driger," Hilary cheered lowly yet with a bit enthusiastic.
When the Real Tyson came back inside me, I frowned at her.
"Sshh," I hushed Hilary with a little jest, "Can't you see we're in the beginning of a play here?"
Hilary stuck her tongue out and kept a watch at the beyblades.
"I still don't know why you guys play these games," she told them. "What's so fun about them?"
"It's whether you win or lose that doesn't count, really," Max answered her. "It's how fun you can have. It isn't just winning or losing. But when time comes, both are actually important."
So losing's important now, eh?
"Whatever you say, Max," I told him. "But you know, losing's important, too."
"I know that," Rei responded. "That's why I'm not losing over this game."
My eyes went back to the game.
"Are you sure about that now, Rei?" I grinned. "It seems like my Dragoon's kicking your Driger's ass!"
Rei gave me a smirk and called out his Driger.
I called out my Dragoon few minutes after.
We fought at the edges of the large beyblade dome.
We fought off the dome and landed on the ground, smacking each other hard.
Our bit-beasts were connected inside us, so I could feel the impact of Dragoon's bruise in my own body.
So would Rei.
Behind me, Max and Hilary were busy talking to each other.
"If you play this game, I would've practiced with you," he smiled.
Hilary blushed and shrugged.
"Oh well," she answered. "Beyblade isn't my type of game. More like something I'd rather watch than do."
Like she could play it.
Hilary can be so cocky about Beyblades, I wonder why she was our trainer.
But I do have to admit that she was a good trainer.
An okay trainer, not great, though.
The first time she wanted to be our trainer, I ignored her.
I thought that training paper she had written with Kenny for us were useless—stupid, I mean.
Until Kai tried them out.
Goes to show you that this girl isn't all what she seems, being the president of the class and a smart-ass, and bossy mouth.
Come to think of it, where had Kai gone off?
He had left us a note that he was going away for a while and would come back one day.
One day.
He wrote it like he'd never come back.
We were loyal friends to him.
Even I tried to be loyal to him, that meanie.
Our battle ended up everywhere;
On the tree branches, on the roof of the dojo, on the lily pads from the pond, and back to the dome.
By the end, we realized that we were both equal and evenly lost the practice match.
Hilary nagged me for being so conservative, since it was only a practice I shouldn't waste all my energy competing against Rei.
Hell, I haven't even use any of my energy yet!
But I told her it's just me.
"For two years," Hilary began when Rei and Max decided to go back inside the dojo. "I think I've figure out what Tyson Granger really is."
I raised my eyebrows and looked at her.
"Self-loving, self-esteemed, self-conservative, self-pride, self-respect, self-proclaimed, self… need I go on?"
I stuck my tongue at her, but I smiled inside.
So I'm all self-stuff now, huh?
It was way past afternoon and evening was falling quickly.
The spring dusk was cold but it didn't stand against me.
Grandpa had called us for dinner.
Hilary happily said yes to his invitation for dinner.
But she had to glimpse at me a bit to see if it was okay.
I shrugged and let her.
What?
It's a free country!
No one needs to look at me to get my permission.
It's not my responsibility.
It's Hilary's own reliability.
But I couldn't quite help the fact that she stared at me with skepticism.
It bothered me a bit.
Years ago, I didn't like Hilary much.
You could say, I had a tight aversion towards her.
That I rejected the kindness and bossiness she had given me years ago.
I was only fourteen, young and me.
But I rejected her being there with us.
With me.
I cast out the invisible kindness she had shot me.
I discarded everything about her, actually.
She had only shown me what was outside her disposition.
Her outer personalities were opposite to what was inside her complexion.
Outside, she was lordly, commanding, big-ass mouth, sometimes rude, and always in my life.
I've never really seen what lay inside her but that moment at the bridge not long ago was enough for me to guess.
The gateway to within her disposition was through her eyes.
They shot me, as I've mentioned, like an arrow of pain through my own.
When I look at them differently, I can't seem to get my gape off hers.
It was hypnotizing, I tell you.
She's mesmerizing me with her gaze.
But inside I knew it couldn't possibly be hypnosis.
It was like I wanted to look back at her.
And it freaked me out a bit.
I felt different.
I felt distinct and diverted when I look at this girl.
When I stare back at the glimpses she's giving me.
And I always wonder if this would change what I am now.
To everything, I'm cool, I'm calm, and I'm cynical.
That should be what I am.
I prefer to keep my sarcastic position outside and what I really am inside.
It's what I am.
When dinner began, I acted as usual, pigging out the food.
"Tyson!" Hilary barked. "Slow down, you! Or else you're gonna choke!"
Boy, does this girl love yelling my name or what!
I stuck my tongue out at her.
"What do you care," I muttered and kept eating quickly, shoving every gohan my chopsticks can get and every torinuku it can grab.
"Many," Hilary responded sharply, crossing her arms. "If you gobble that rice of yours any quicker, you're gonna—"
I choked.
I made a face and turned purple, waving my arms violently, smacking Rei and Grandpa off their seat beside me.
I made quick silent languages for water and Rei quickly grabbed a gigantic jug of water and handed it to me.
I immediately grabbed it and chugged it all down, sighing with relief.
"See what I told you!" Hilary snapped. "This isn't just the first time, pig!"
What did she call me!
Okay, that's it!
I was about to jump on her when Max grabbed me by my arms.
I took a breath and let it out hard.
Right, I had to remember one thing.
She's a girl, I repeated over and over, if she was a guy I'd've flattened her.
She's a girl, she's a girl, she's a girl…
"Dude, listen to your girlfriend," Grandpa chimed in. "She knows what's good for ya, cha hear?"
Before long, Rei joined Max and pinned me down on the floor, before I could turn my main target at grandpa, screaming like a manic and struggling out their asses on my back.
"WE'RE NOT AN ITEM!"
Hilary and I yelled it in unison, loud enough that there were a couple of birds flying away outside the dojo.
"We're just friends," Hilary told them calmly, starting on her gohan and tea. "Just eat, everyone. Now, you wouldn't want to eat a cold torinuku, don't you?"
That shut us all up.
Even me.
We all went back to dinner, talking casually now about what happened today.
When I turned to look at Hilary, who sat beside Max whom sat in front of me, her cheeks her faintly glowing.
It was hard not to keep a blush hidden with that bleached face of hers.
She was looking down at her gohan, making it hard for me to see right through her eyes.
The fact that she told everyone that we were just friends, it was true, yes.
But the way she had said it was enough for me to notice what was wrong.
When she had said those words, she looked a bit… miserable.
It made me feel unusual also.
Something is wrong with this girl.
Especially me.
And tonight, I have to find out about it.
Or else, tomorrow's too late.
I may be slow at finding things out but this time I need to know what it is tonight.
Or else.
Dinner ended quickly and as usual.
It was nighttime by the time I got step out of the dojo and into the front yard where the pond was.
Hilary was staying for a while.
For the past two years, I've also gotten used to having her hang around the dojo for a while.
And this would give me time to talk to her about what's her problem.
What is her problem?
Did she have problems with me?
It was easy to tell 'cause we argued too much.
I was ordered many times by her and she was ignored many times by me.
That would count us as the best arguers in town.
But the last grating argue we had that had made Hilary changed into a different person occurred to me that that wasn't just any argument.
It meant something more to her.
Arguments didn't really mean anything to me.
I tend to forget what we were yelling about.
When I stepped outside, I realized that I wasn't just the only person that wanted to get out of the dojo.
Hilary was sitting there, at the same spot I had seen her this morning.
Sitting, and looking down at the reflection of the crescent moon blurring on the surface of the pond.
She was trembling a bit, and I felt an urge to do something I can't seem to figure what.
"Hilary…" I said, but stopped.
Slowly, Hilary turned to look at me.
It was like she knew I'd be here.
Her face was of calm and something more.
She knew what I was going to ask her.
And by the look of that strange silverish glint in her ruby eyes tonight, she knew what I wanted to talk about.
She knew what I can't figure out.
And it occurred to me how clever she is sometimes.
Not smart, clever—wise.
If you know what I mean.
And there was something telling me inside.
Telling me how… brilliant she looked sitting under the moonlight.
Her whole feature seemed almost silver under the moonlight, even her jewel eyes.
But shadows crept through her face and showed a troubled looking Hilary.
She looked small to me, though she is smaller than I am.
She was just there, sitting, staring at me with freaky ruby turned-to silver eyes.
It was strange.
Bizarre, actually.
How beautiful she was under the luminescence of the moon.
What?
Me think she's beautiful?
My heart pounded a little but I shook this strange new feelings away.
"Yes?" she asked.
I took a step towards her surrounding.
It was like I can't bare taking a step any closer to her.
Like she's made a circle of her own territory.
And those who came upon to love her could only enter.
But I ask to myself;
Am I one of them?
Would I dare step into her region of affection and be one myself?
And then… I realized how much I've changed.
I realized how much I've changed the days where Hilary had made my heart thud quickly.
And it hurt me a bit.
Me? Tyson?
Why me, though?
Why did she pick me, instead the other million guys in the world?
Why did she turn her gaze into none other than me?
Why did she held my gaze on hers when she knows what I might do?
Why is she settling her heart on mine when she knows she could have it held by hundred others?
Why me?
I will admit, I do like Hilary.
There was a tiny hint where I thought I had a crush on her.
Where I thought I was in love with her.
Chuckle, Laugh, Chortle
But when I thought I wrong…
I knew I was wrong to agree with my denials.
I thought I was in love with this girl.
Laughs
Before, I thought I hated her so much.
I hated it when she was this annoying brat that wanted to ruin my everyday life.
I hated her…
Now I realize…
How much I love this girl.
This cocky, sometimes bitchy girl—no offense.
I knew my insults would soon turn into pity.
Would soon turn into sorrow and regret.
The wind of change danced practically all around us two.
It glided between me and entered my heart.
The wind of change has finally gotten me.
As it had already gotten Hilary.
Th wind of change slashed my Pretending Heart wide open and revealed what I should've felt inside.
Pain.
I suddenly feel pain.
I felt it when I looked at Hilary's own anguish.
Then, regret.
I felt regret of doing things I didn't really mean towards Hilary.
And it merged with pain.
And at the end of the line, I knew I felt something called affection…
And I asked myself;
What is 'Love'?
Before I didn't know what in hell 'Love' was supposed to be.
I thought it wasn't in my system.
I thought it never was.
I knew little about love for one and another.
All I wanted to know before was beyblading.
There are more tasks for me to realize what I really need to know right now.
And maybe I would know it a little more tonight.
I hated these feelings.
I hated the way the wind of change sliced opened my Pretending Heart and showed what really was inside.
But half of me told me that it should be this way.
That there would be a way to cure it.
I just need help from someone.
It's strange how often you trust your thoughts instead of your heart.
Trusted your guts rather than what's inside.
One thing I know is that negativity is what makes it worse.
You always seem to think the different way of what the obvious subject is telling you.
Even though if everyone is saying the right thing, somewhere deep in your thoughts, you're saying no.
It's stupid, sometimes, yet, so…
Urging.
No one's perfect.
I don't think there ever was any one that is perfect.
Even if you never expect it.
Even if you never want to…
I looked at Hilary one more time, face emotionless.
With final thought, I stepped into her circle.
She knew she had drawn a circle of her area, the circle for that someone who loves her.
She looked at me with complete surprise.
I knew what she was thinking.
He took a step inside…
It was supposed to be dangerous stepping inside my ring but…
He stepped inside.
He's not wounded and he isn't hurt.
He took a step inside my heart…
Why?
Why Tyson?
Yes, why Tyson? I thought to myself.
But I stood there motionless, staring at her startled ruby eyes.
Something wanted me to tell her something.
But I needed to know something else.
Something's that's bothering me so much.
"Hilary…"
I gazed back at hers, hoping that mine would enthrall hers instead of I would be to hers.
My heart skipped a beat to see something glimmering at the bottom of her eyelid.
"Y—Yes, Tyson?"
"What… what did you do to me?"
